Saturday 6 December 2014

Is male personality overrated?

“Women love the men the most who give the least,
and they love the men the least who give the most.”

Do you remember the days in school when a cute girl may have patronizingly complimented a boy on his great personality?  It was always, and probably still is, the perennial case of a pretty girl feeling sorry for the ugly boy who isn’t very popular.  He stands alone in the playground in hope that, just by magic, she may see something in him over the more popular and cuter looking boys.  Isn’t the world of attraction so much easier in those days, absent of any female needs for status, money, resources, trust or egoism?  Bide your time my ugly friend, because if you work hard at school you will have a route to a better job.  A better job means potential money and status.  Voila, there’s that pretty girl 20 years on who is now with a man looking similar to you.

What actually is personality?  I’m not talking about the dictionary definition, but instead its true relevance in how women view it, assess it, and prioritize it in terms of a male desirable.  To me, personality in this context is a man’s ability to talk, listen, understand and contribute to a woman’s feelings in life.  Anything outside of this is a mere irrelevance if it doesn’t have a positive impact on her life.

So how important is a man’s personality in the whole scheme of things?  Two schools of thought can be taken.  To a woman, her own existence, and how she is perceived by the world, is the most important aspect with no substitute that comes close.  With this in mind, a woman would place a man’s personality, and the traits that come with it, above any other appealing metric.  On the other hand, women generally are not viscerally attracted to men who talk for hours about nothing and who display this power of knowledge.  They may benefit from the knock-on effect of this knowledge per se – hence status, take-home pay or DIY skills – but this doesn’t push their sexual buttons one bit.  In consideration to this claim, a man with extensive verbal delivery, if not used in seduction process, can actually make a woman feel inferior against him and not attracted towards him.

You only need to look at a couple that are obviously and subconsciously in love, with no front to convince others of this fact.  There is very little conversation.  It’s short, concise and playful with no philosophical hint arriving from either’s lips.  When she talks, he listens.  When he talks she is mesmerized and infatuated, but he knows how and when to end it.  There will always come a time when two people in their mature stage of the relationship do talk for hours about nothing, as in truth the sexual urges for each other will have optimized a long time ago.  But it pains me when I see younger guys think this is the way to woman’s heart in verbal blasts to their thoughts of the world.  You’re rarely going to see a highly physically attractive woman with one of those men unless he is someone who can offer her other things in great measures. 

I’ve been that guy myself in the past.  You know, the guy thinking this is what women desire.  You do this because you think, with some justification, that by passing on opinions in longitude form leads her to believe what a comfortable partner you will be during Sunday afternoon strolls.  You think she will be so grateful to a lack of silent moments or conversation breakdowns, as you will always be there with a masterful topic in production.  You believe the dense jerks who had nothing productive to say are with these women because the women are of unintelligent parity and insecure nature.  This doesn’t even come close to the true reasons.

But then you assess again, and you recollect some of the happiest moments with girlfriends were when nothing was said for hours.  She didn’t need you to.  You were just the comforting pillar for her to rest upon in tranquility.  Women will instigate something to say when they are good and ready.  Be assured of this.  She will drag a man back into her world when she senses him slipping away.

And I think this sums up how much personality a man should have in overall consideration to attracting a woman and maintaining a woman’s interest.  Near on 90% of what a man says to women is pretty much irrelevant – most of the time.  The way he says it, and the body language he portrays, is far more important.  The great master will have an abundance of personality, in the verbal form, under his sleeve to use at any given appropriate time.  But he only uses it when absolute necessary, and when it benefits him the most.     

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