Saturday 25 July 2020

Women’s “type”

“The reality is gained from the eyes, and not the ears.”

I was seeing a woman last year who surprised me when we first met once she informed me that she was a former blonde gone dark brunette.  During a few messages that night, she asked me which I preferred – blondes or brunettes.  My reply was simple and to the point:
“Probably brunettes but as long as she looks after herself, is likeable and honest the rest usually just falls into place.”
Her response was along the lines of liking the answer and saying it was sweet, but I am not one to fall for what women tell me.  There was already evidence of a few porky pies on her part as early as the first couple of days we were involved.

Of course, I could have been even more honest and said:
 “Probably brunettes but as long as she is hot (or something along the lines of finding her sexually attractive), is likeable and honest the rest usually just falls into place.”
Mere nuances you could say.  The point is, nearly all men only need three things in this order of importance:   
1) He finds a woman physically attractive
2) He enjoys her company and personality 
3) She is loyal, faithful and honest to him

Yes, some men do prefer blondes over brunettes or vice versa, some men have a fetish for redheads, and some men genuinely like oriental women over any other type, but generally speaking >95% of men honest men would find the same <5% of women the most physically attractive and bangable should they be shown photographs of these women and nothing else to go on.

Women’s male “type”

With women, it is far more complicated.  Putting a man’s physical attractiveness to one side for a moment, women attain a wish and priority list of male offerings that is at least four times the size of a man’s wish list of his requirements in a female partner.

However, on the physical attractiveness side it gets more complex and, for want of a kinder word, dishonest with women’s words on her male type.  In their honest minds or if put on a fail proof lie detector, when shown a thousand pictures of random men or seeing them in real life, >95% of women would agree on the same <5% of men who they find most physically attractive and sexually arousing.  The problem is, women’s egos get in the way of their ability to tell the truth, and they claim that their male type is not in fact the men they would most like to sleep with.  I guess you cannot blame them for being this way, to an extent.  A woman cannot be seen to flog the dead horse that she has settled for in order to make herself feel better about life.

Take a look at the below three visions of women (all in their mid-20’s it seems) with their male “types”, I say tongue in cheek.

8.5/10 Girl with 7/10 Guy

With just over 20% difference between the two, this is what you class a mid range hot woman’s “ideal” man.  Although he possesses an average face and body, he is upgraded to above average looking level due to the height (I am guessing she is wearing heels too which makes her look a few inches taller).  All this fits nicely into most hot women’s ego plate.  She gets the security of a taller man, but the ego thrill boost of his lesser looks in comparison to her.

Nevertheless, it is rare to see a woman like her ever being seen with a man less physically attractive than him.  A minority will for further ego boost, but there is a level of social media credibility she needs to uphold.  You will see comments along the lines of saying what a lovely looking couple they are, but what she ultimately wants to know is she is clearly more attractive than him, but he would be a good catch for most women out there.  The balance is struck.

It is not too bad an image of the two of them in photo dynamic terms.  First, she is slightly leaning into him which is always a good thing.  What I never like is when the man looks happier to be there than the woman, but at least he is not overjoyed.  It may be that she does not have great teeth!

8.25/10 Girl with 6/10 Guy

Yuck (in terms of the couple dynamic)!  I have to say that this woman is more my type than the first woman, but in terms of objectivity her slightly over-sized legs drop her down to 8.25/10.  In any case, a near 40% difference between the two is far too much for my liking.

When you see couple dynamics of this kind – low end hot woman with (being kind) average looking man, you cannot help but analyse the meat behind the bones.  What you find here is symbolic of a woman who needs a man to adore her, requires him to be grateful to be with her, and ultimately spoil her and lay the red carpet down each time he meets her concurrent to kissing her rosy ass.  If ever you need to understand how female egos and insecurities work, you only need to look at this picture.

Am I being harsh?  Maybe, but all I ever try to do is point out the truth and reality.  Sure, her head and ego will be twice the size in dating him, but her heart will beat at half the rate and her pants will be bone dry.  Again, I never like upsetting anyone, but the realism is what I was brought onto this earth for (amongst a few other things hopefully!).

She is not leaning into him at all, emphasising how this relationship is purely down to how he makes her feel better about herself, and not emphasis on how she needs to feel alive in being with a man.  In fairness, at least he is not leaning into her or coming across as mate guarding.  For now at least, until he sees her in the proximity of better looking men. A dreadful image, and a relationship that will be all about her expectations and his appeasement and endeavours. 

Where the hell is the sexual chemistry or passion between them?  I think this must have been left outside of the bedroom anyway, with all time they spend together studying what ingredients they need for the recipe that makes her feel special and him accommodating.  She has that perennial look of a woman who knows she has sacrificed her innate feelings - in being with a man who turns her on - in replacement for a man who makes her feel better about herself.  I know looks aren't everything, but I'm never convinced on the prospects if female choices are based on this path.

8.5/10 Girl with 8.25/10 Guy

That is more like it in respect to positive couple visions.  You could maybe even push him up to 8.5/10 and give an even keel between the two of them.  So rare to see, but so pleasuring to the eye.  Believe me, any honest person will hardly see any, if any at all, hot woman/hot man couples walking hand in hand in their year of 2020 to forget.

Why is it so rare?  I do not think I need to elaborate on what has already been said above, or what has been embedded in this blog many times.  However, not so fast in logical assumption that she is a rare hot girl who puts her priority on male aesthetic blessings.

If you look at him a little closer, without proof I think there is enough reason to believe that he is the typical local, well-known, dense jerk.  I could be wrong and he holds a PhD in nuclear physics, but I’ll go on my instinctive prediction.  More than a few tattoos, he portrays the bad boy persona.

So whilst I’m not doubting a lot of her reason in being with him is born out of passion and sexual chemistry, I’d say that as much, probably more, motivation on her part is due to her going through a phase where she holds desires to show off on social media to her female friends and foes that she has captured the, in local respects, movie star bad boy that every woman wants to be with.  Again, it is more about her motives than his offerings.

The other element that gets lost with most people when seeing a couple of this kind is, whilst his good looks and jerky character act as an immediate preselection magnet onto other women (which naturally said girlfriend likes and what makes her like him more), based on my assumption that he isn't the sharpest nail in the pack and has little else to offer in financial or providing aspects, the woman in this partnership will know that not all other women will find him attractive as a medium to long term partner.  With this knowledge, a large percentage of women will also rule him out for any short term fun (as women past an age of 23 can't afford to waste time on men who are not long term suitability).  This all manifests to a nice balance in the girlfriend's mind.  Women find him attractive, but not every single woman will want to be with him.

The photograph is also the almost perfect image any man should strive for.  If he leaned back a few inches it would have hit the jackpot, but I will let him off that based on the camera snapster possibly asking them to move forward.  He holds a mild smirk, whilst she is smiling (even if more for the cameras than in genuine manner) like she has struck the lottery.

Q-tip 1:
The true happiness of a couple is never illustrated in a photograph of the two of them.  As social media exposure and female obsession of how the world perceives them has grown year on year for the last couple of decades, women will try and convince the watching public (and themselves) that they are living a life so much happier and enriching than their peers.  The true happiness of a couple can only be truly gauged when the two of them are alone, away from any cameras or company, where there is no hiding place and where true feelings are enforced to be implemented. 

The End Game

Fast forward half a dozen years, and this may be what you find many women, including those similar to above, to conclude with (at least before divorce or separation).

There has got to be fifteen years age gap there, and that is on nothing other than the age difference they look.  It could be more (or less if he has aged badly).  There’s a near on 50% physical attractiveness disparity between them too.  Eventually though, women need a little more than an ego thrill boost of a man’s comparative ugliness or an opportunity to inflict envy in their female rival’s minds.  Eventually they want another way to exploit the greatness in their life, and this is to show it in the way of lavish holidays, expensive clothes and jewellery, nice houses, a big wedding day (as the wedding to will be far more important than the marriage), and trendily dressed kids.

Q-tip 2:
Women – hot women typically post 25 – will place their eventual priority on a man they settle down with in the form of the provisioning life he can give her (and the children should she choose to commit even further to him).  The second priority is how he makes her feel about herself.  How physically attractive and sexually arousing she finds him falls considerably behind in necessity terms.

A final thought

I could be accused of cherry picking the examples above to suit the message of this post.  That is up to you if you choose to believe this, and I would not try and convince you otherwise.  All I will say is that, excluding the third image, I could close my eyes, throw a dart at pictures of a thousand similar looking women as those above, and the theme would run in a consistent process. 

Q-tip 3:
The bigger the gap between the physical attractiveness of a woman and man, the greater the magnitude she is to attain character traits of high egoism, high insecurity, low trust thresholds, low confidence levels, and less need to satisfy her heart and sexual intensities. 

A final, final thought

By the way, it kind of makes me laugh when I hear women in groups or crying their hearts out to listening naive and lapdog men about all/most men being cheating jerks.  If you took the mean physical attractiveness grading of all four men (and Guy 3 is a small minority case which would obscure the average to the high side) you would arrive at 6.75/10.  If you took Guy 3 out of the equation, the mean physical attractiveness would be 6.25/10.  So if you split the difference, and took this on a wholesale basis (which it would represent), the standard and random man on the street is 6.5/10 on the looks scale.

Can you therefore try telling me there are inundated 6.5/10 physical looks graded men with hoards of women lining up for their attention, giving these men the liberty and luxury to be unfaithful and sow the seed on many women due to abundant choices.  I don't think so.  With this in mind, any time you hear a woman crying such words of always falling for the wrong man, you can take it with a pinch of salt.  It wouldn't be hard for her to find a faithful man - as a consequence of the man being 6.5/10 and not attaining a plethora of female beauties queuing up for his manhood.  So if she can't find this man, it is a fair assumption she is only going for men who she knows will cheat on her.  Drama craving and attention seeking comes to mind.  If this is the case, you can have next to no sympathy for her.

Saturday 4 July 2020

Older woman and younger man psychology

“The truth and reality is rarely grasped by the masses.”

Apparently there’s an internet troll being a little bit hateful towards the English actress, Kate Beckinsale.  In a relationship with a man of half her living years, the troll has inferred that Beckinsale should date men her own age.

First and foremost, whilst I’m a pretty opinionated kind of person, I always say that no matter what my thoughts are on a subject or issue, if someone is making a decision that makes them genuinely happy then I’m all for it.  I’m not this relationship scrooge that thrives on seeing people unhappy.  Quite the contrary, in fact.  All I do is read the somewhat obvious signs that people (usually women) act upon which is down to ancillary reasons outside of natural happiness, attraction and passion.  I’m usually right on the outcome.

The girl that broke my heart

A couple of years ago I bumped into a woman of same age to me who I went to secondary school with.  I hadn’t seen her for maybe a decade since the last time, but she had aged reasonably well in all fairness to her considering she was now a single mother to two boys. 

She was out with her friends, and as we talked at the bar I could sense her peers were trying to lean her towards me.  I made a comment to the group that she was the first girl to break my heart (if you can call it that) when we were 14.  As fate would have it, this was a total blessing at the time.  At that age I barely knew what a penis was designed for, whilst she was merely months later having sex with boys two years above.

She asked me what my relationship status was, to which when I informed her that I had been seeing someone for quite some time, I sensed her optimistic face drop a little.  I asked her the same question, and she filled me in on her going through a divorce.  She then went onto say she was seeing a young man who was only 21 – over a decade younger than her - and whilst admitting it was “wrong” it was clear she wasn’t verbalizing in an apologetic way at all.  Why should she, it’s her life after all.

I saw her later on in another bar, and as she was leaving she made a conscious effort to say goodbye as her group left.  I sensed, through nothing more than experience of similar situations, that she held desires for me to burst out words to the effect of meeting up.  Whilst she had aged fairly well, I wasn’t at all attracted to her in a physical sense.

The hypocrisies and gender distinctions

It’s always made me laugh how the media and mass population seem to applaud a woman for dating a man much younger than her, yet when a man dates a woman much younger than him he is referred to as a creepy old weirdo.  What is all the more baffling is that whilst I agree there is a line to draw in how much the age gap can be in resulting in a happy partnership for both man and woman, a woman with a younger man goes against fundamental attraction, yet a man with a younger woman aligns with fundamental attraction.

Q-tip 1:
The easiest way to look at female to male / male to female attraction is this:
Men are primarily and predominantly attracted to female youth and beauty.  Women are primarily and predominantly attracted to male maturity, provisioning, confidence, status and wealth.

With the above in place and denied (or conveniently ignored) by many but undeniable in reality, in theory, and in practice, the happier relationships consist of women with older men and men with younger women.  The sweet spot for this age gap can be argued until the cows come home, and quite frankly it does depend on the couple in question, but by clear majority women are at their most physically attractive when they are younger, and men become more mature, confident and wealthier as they get older.

So what would sway a woman towards a younger man?

I always remember reading some article that was cougar themed, and the one commenter that stood out was actually a woman.  The comment was a breath of fresh air, bearing in mind the words came from a female mouth, so to speak.  Her words were, to the effect, that when a woman is with a younger man the attraction (on the woman’s part) isn’t about his youth, and it is in fact about her own youth.  I thought this summed it up perfectly.  To elaborate on what she said, basically a woman who seeks out a younger man isn’t essentially going for him because she is attracted to him.  She goes for him because it makes her feel better about herself.

Here’s the stand out reasons women will go for younger men:

·       A woman will worry about getting older in simultaneous timeframe to her declining physical beauty.  This emotion can often happen as early as her mid to late twenties.  To counteract this negative and irritable feeling, a younger man can, for a short period of time, paper over these cracks in reassuring her mind that she is still young and beautiful. 
·       In association with the above point, a woman will think that a younger male hand in hand will impress her female friends, rivals and social media army.
·       Women in their mid to late twenties and beyond will see inundated competition from younger women joining the night scene and other social environments.  This competition – from often more eye-catching women – acts as a question mark to her standing in the overall female hierarchy.  Once more, reassurance of these doubts can be compensated by dating a younger man.
·       The highest quality and most sought after men are attracted to women their own age and, when men move past their mid 20’s, women who are younger than them.  With a seemingly much smaller pool of high quality men at their disposal, some older women will try and negate this irritation by going for younger men.  It is a way of getting their own back on the scenario.

It is fair to say that a minority of women (and it cannot be stressed enough in this being a tiny minority) do hunt for younger men due to primary hunger to satisfy their physical attraction and sexual needs.  Nevertheless, let it be said this is a negligible number in comparison to those women who carry out these decisions in order to feel better about things within themselves. 

A final thought

I got involved with two women last year who were aged 22 and 23.  The 22 year old looked her age, whilst the 23 year old looked 25 to 26.  The woman of 22 was all up for it, whilst the one of 23 said I was too old.  There were character and ego differentials (22 year old girl went with her heart, 23 year old girl had a big ego and as evidence has recently proved prefers to date men significantly less good looking than her) between the two, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the younger looking 22 year old had older parents (her dad was turning 60 that year), whilst the 23 year old more mature looking women had parents who birthed her when they were in their teens or slightly older. 

Q-tip 2:
If you are an older guy who tends to emotionally collide, whether through deliberation or circumstance, with considerably younger women, all else equal you will have much greater success and positive forthcoming nature from a woman in a line graph as the older her parents are.  The younger the parents, the more likely she will stick to men her own age or even younger.

A final, final thought

Don’t get me wrong, there are some men who also take an ego boost from dating younger women.  This is still secondary to his instinctive physical attraction towards her, but it isn’t uncommon for the good feeling of a younger trophy wife per se.

I’m not one of those men, I can assure you of that.  If every 50 year old woman looked like Jennifer Lopez then I’d have no problem and every inclination to be with a woman older than me, but the reality is most woman in the real world post 40 aren’t even close to being as physically attractive to women in their 30’s.  Likewise, most women in their 30’s aren’t as physically attractive in contrast to women in their 20’s.

So when you do see women with much younger men, generally speaking these men are low sought after men and/or men of low confidence who believe they cannot secure a younger and hotter woman.  It is kind of the same replication of a woman, irrespective of her age or her male partner’s age, generally placing safer bets in being with a less physically attractive man.  She will know he attains fewer female suitors.  A man who settles for an older woman knows she will be of much lower maintenance in this matter too – as far fewer (if any) other men will find her attractive and hunt her down.