Saturday 15 April 2017

Man too physically blessed to pull women?

"A man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest."
(Simon and Garfunkel: The Boxer)

A reader makes some points based on this previous post from Women’s choices: men’s divorces.

I don't know how I found this blog post, but I have anecdotal evidence that can point to what you said about Man #1.

I'm a 27 year old 6'4" white male with a very athletic physique, broad shoulders with very narrow waist/hips, and have facial aesthetics on par with guys like former Calvin Klein model Fredrik Ljungberg. However, I was a very late bloomer, around early 20s, and prior to that was a very awkward and unattractive teen who didn't get any attention from females. 

I've never in my life had a girlfriend and have a severe struggle with getting one, which I blame on my inexperience with women and their intimidation/insecurity of being with a guy like me. I've tried online dating sites and I almost never get any responses, the ones that do respond generally look for almost any excuse to reject me during our internet conversations. In real life, I have women accuse me of being a player and/or give me an attitude whenever I try to converse with them. However, on the flip side I've had people assume I'm gay simply because I'm chronically single. I do have women in public checking me out but it is generally done when they are in groups, but when they are alone they are more subtle about it. 

So, yes for some men being very attractive can be an issue depending on the type of women you are pursuing.

My response:

Like you, I was a physically late bloomer, so I can relate to how your required confidence levels are perhaps playing catch up. 

Your predicament, if it can be described as that, is something hardly anybody comprehends, because such a tiny percentage (<0.1%) of men encounter it.  Those who are aware of the situation tend to also be liars or/and too proud to face up to the truth and reality.  Nevertheless, what I would always remind anybody like you is that there are so many ways to benefit from being tall, facially good looking, and attain a great physique - in comparison to not having these blessings.  Remember this for as long as you have it, because when you do not receive all this attention, eye contact, intimidation receipt, and rejection from women, it will be the sure sign that your physical decline has commenced.  When that day arrives, I'll bet a pretty penny that you'd wish for the "problems" back. So ultimately, make the most of today.

However, pretty much everything you document is accurate and real.  In simple terms, you are too physically attractive for >99% of women generally, let alone the probable small pool of women you would want to be with.  When I say "too physically attractive", I mean it from the female egoism and trust perspective.  The only way this issue could be eradicated in a switch would be to gain overnight fame and extreme wealth.  On the basis this isn't going to happen, my main advice would be to work on your confidence, give less care to the world and what others think of you, and essentially approach more women.  Take rejection or cold shoulders from women as a compliment, not an insult. 

One final point is your height.  Don't get me wrong, a man being 6ft 4" is way more advantageous than being 5ft 8", and also in relation to 5ft 10", but being as tall as you are, outside of sports stars, is a likely drawback than a blessing.  This is firstly because women will find you even more intimidating than guys of 6ft on the dot, but also even too tall for their natural sexual predilections.

It would be easy to just say that you need to target women around 5ft 10" to 5ft 11" hotties, as they will want men taller than them when in heels, but it also isn't so simple as this. Unless they're just looking for a one night stand or short term fling (which is rare for the most physically attractive women), even tall women as described may only want a man two or three inches taller.  This is because women, in particular women post 23 years of age, are sizing up a man as a future father to their children.  A tall woman being impregnated by a tall man will by no mean coincidence produce a very tall son or daughter.  Whilst it isn't as much of an issue being a very tall man, women (hence: the mothers) deep down know how it is a disadvantage in the romantic world in being a very tall woman.  I don't see many female high jumpers or netball stars with the highest quality men.

So in essence and with this in mind, I would advise you, for the path of least resistance, to target women around 5ft 7" to 5ft 8".  In addition, by and large you will receive more positive engagement when targeting women 23 or younger, because this age group place greater emphasis on male aesthetic value than a need for provisioning and to feel better about themselves (in being with a lesser looking boyfriend), and they are more likely to place their hearts ahead of their ego. By abiding with all this it should, in my view, give you the greatest chance of openings and success.

One final point is female screening - in optimizing the positive receptiveness when approaching women you are interested in.  Within time constrained moments this task is not easy, therefore if in bars or walking down the street, I would just pro-act without thought in asking first and not worrying about the permutations.  However, with greater experience acquired and thorough observation of female character and habits, you will pick up tell tale signs from the body language and social belongings of women.  

So if there is a solid hot girl (say 8.5/10) who you have previously seen alongside a couple of considerably lesser looking (anything from 6.5/10 to 7.5/10) boyfriends, the chances are she wouldn't date or sleep with you even if hell froze over.  There is no way her big ego, low confidence and high insecurity would allow her to do so.  But on the flip side, if you sense a cutie, or even a hot girl, give you a genuine, non-antagonistic and amiable eye, there is a much stronger possibility that she is open to take things further.