Saturday 29 November 2014

Responding to girlfriend promotion

“You do what you are, you are what you do.”

Most men have a natural need that comes within to succeed.  Disclaiming those lacking in ambition who are happy to collect a benefit allowance and venture straight into the pub or bookmakers, the vast majority of men have differing levels of drive and motivation to fulfill their potential.

Defining success is far more difficult.  A large share of men would view success as the highest salary they can possibly achieve within realistic parameters.  The positive knock-on effect of this will be to own an expensive car and live in the biggest house within the most affluent area.  Other men would claim that money has little to do with success, and it is all about accomplishments.  They have a point, as I know plenty of people with over six figures in the bank yet no memories of worthwhile note to treasure. 

Accomplishments could be visiting the greatest places in the world, it could be an array of sexual accomplishments with beautiful women of varied cultures and nationalities, or it may possibly have been saving someone’s life, or even their own life. 

But I would expect that the majority of men simply hold desires to find an honest woman, raise children to be proud of, and be the most genuine man that people like.  There is no right or wrong way, and this is the magic of life.  But one thing I do know is rarely can a person tick all of the boxes.  There usually comes a choice, or at least a decision, that has to be made.

Women view life differently to men.  As rarely the main breadwinners in heterosexual relationships, women are less proactive in laying out and achieving set goals.  There is nothing wrong with this.  Natural followers they may be, but this certainly doesn’t mean they don’t know what they want and how to get there.  It could be argued that women are far more tuned to an end product, when the time fits, than men.  As the reproductive gender, it can also be unofficially claimed women are more valuable to society than men.  This subconscious but conceivable innate belief may go a long way for men scratching their heads when a discussion turns to an argument.  If he cannot track down a woman who has empathetic and compromising traits, he should take comfort in the fact that he won’t be alone. 

So the two tides sail in different directions to form a manifestation of female behaviour.  In the black corner stand men trying to promote their life, and in the red corner are women who hold predilections to wait, and react when things come to them. 

To counteract this perhaps perceived inferiority, women need to structure their own weapon to balance things out.  This, more often than not, results in the process to promote their value to the world.  Self-doubts combined with constant need for external social validation and approval is not a nice recipe, and the only true way to combat this vulnerability is to strike back with self-promotion and economical stories of the truth.  On top of this, the natural drama queen within them only further reinforces this tidal wave.  Somehow, they have to show people that more is happening in their life than the objectivity would suggest.  Men, being men, can be the victims of their own accustomed but uncontrollable naivety and jealousy.

So to feed a woman’s value, this can be fulfilled by her own opinions, her family’s words or her friend’s supplication and sycophancy.  Sometimes it can be a trade, almost what you will see on Facebook walls.  You write on my wall, and I’ll write on yours.  Win-win scenario for everyone.  Most men do not respond well to this because most men are not gifted with the blessings that offer them choices with other females out there.  Male positive attitude and confidence is far more important than good looks, money or assets when appealing to projected female eyes, but unfortunately not many men in percentage terms succeed here too.  So instead of a man taking his girlfriend’s words with a pinch of salt, he crawls into his shell with doubts of his own and fears that he isn’t good enough for her.  This has a negative effect on her attraction towards him, because women respond positively to calm, apathetic and disinterested men.  A woman will try and get her man jealous to keep her ego and value in tack, but deep down she wants him to be indifferent with this.  A rise smirk to confirm he is listening, followed by a comment that puts the promotion in its true perspective, are the ingredients for her to like him more.

These kinds of posts will be labeled: Responding to girlfriend promotion, but it can be equally applicable to women you are trying to appeal to in the early stages.  Examples will be given in how to respond with maximum reward being the consequence.  As I always advocate, neither an extreme jerk or a full on nice guy wins over time. 

Girl’s mum or friend:   “You’re lucky to be with her you know.”
You:                             “I wouldn’t say I’m lucky to be with her, 
                                     but I am happy to be with her.”

Cynics will debate that even the word “happy” is too strong towards the gratification side, but I think ego degradation has to be in accordance.  This answer still shows a man’s attainability, but the purpose of confirming he isn’t fortunate has been achieved.  Remember, never allow a woman to believe you are grateful to be with her, because that is the moment she believes she could do better.  A slight tilt of the scales towards losing him is better than a tilt of knowing she has him in the palm of her hands.

Obviously responses like this need to be in check with reality.  So if a man is an unemployed guy with bad body odour who miraculously scores a hot babe, this response may be a touch on the unrealistic side.  A better response would be of total sarcasm:
“Nah, she’s lucky to be with me.”
If nothing else, at least this will have tarnished her ego.

Now there is an even better response to female self-promotion when you are a man with a great deal of value in the sexual market.  This may not apply to many men in real terms, but it can be used more often than the sparse numbers of men who have the guts to apply it.

The response I am about to illustrate needs to be used carefully and in context of the guy you are.  This is why I re-iterate that it is only for certain men with certain women.  The best example would be a good looking man with a hot girlfriend, but it could also be applicable to an above average looking man who has a cute bit on the go.

Girl’s mum or friend:   “You’re lucky to be with her you know.”
You:                             “Do you know much about economics? (expect pause or gone out face).  If so, you will know all about supply and demand.”

Leave it at that.  The obvious explanation is that there are far more women of her type than men of your calibre.  A thorough chapter and verse reasoning behind your words is not required, as very few men will have ever got a woman moist and hungry through too much psychological back chat.

Nevertheless, a very good looking man with many other desirables will need to tread carefully when using this tactic.  Although women want to be with a man who other women sexually desire, there is a balance to strike.  Once a woman gets a sniff of his value stretching to a point where innumerable female rivals and peers are into him, the positivity that jealousy brings can border over to a feeling of him being too much hassle.  Her ego is then damaged that little bit too much and she may reluctantly move on, leading with the vain convincing of her mind that he is the one who has lost out. 

This is why a woman’s ideal man is someone with huge quality (top 1%) in every department – except physical looks.  As long as she is the star of the show when people set eyes on the two of them, any doubts she may have towards the relationship due to his potential infidelity will be placed to one side.

Tuesday 25 November 2014

Work jerks but male partner lapdogs

“There are people who can hold a meeting and turn applicable practice into useless theory.”

Like most people, I have reported to some good, bad and indifferent managers over a range of corporations.  I actually bumped into the boss I held with the highest regard last week.  I hadn’t been in contact with him for over 4 years, and this was on the back of a somewhat difficult and frosty farewell at the end of a redundancy process.  When I look back, I perhaps said some words that were uncalled for, but when considering this period in my life was prior to fighting a life threatening illness, holding onto a job meant far more to me then than it would do now. 

Many colleagues I have worked with, but not necessarily for, have been the perennial work jerks.  They walk around the offices or relevant workplace with an air of arrogance, bully mentality, misery, unapproachable demeanour and self-faultless view of what goes on.  Astute men like me see through all this, just like those clever enough can see through women’s fakeness or insecure compensation ploys, as their often despicable mannerisms are a simple way to try and conceal their obvious deficiencies.  Basically, because they have very little else going for them in life, these men attempt egoism (relative to their work status), bullying, harassment and power tactics to make up for their uninspiring physical attractiveness, personality, life accomplishments and assets shortcomings.  Is an over-sized waistline, saggy man tits and a double chin all worth this effort?

Well all this effort, from where I see things, is a by-product in pleasing their respective female partners.  The giveaway signs are when you overhear them talk about the lengths they are inclined to stretch to in order to maintain their overweight wife’s “happiness”.  Some do have more alluring girlfriends, but they get it just as wrong in terms of elaborate exertions to work all the hours god sends to pay for the big mortgage or next pair of shoes she asks for.  Then when you see them as a couple at work galas, the men appear to be on tender hooks like an innocent puppy being dragged round by their leader.  In the meantime, their good lady partners are glancing in the direction of edgier men like me.  Don’t you worry my fellow men, very few of them are worth 10 minutes of my time in the unlocked conference room.

So here you have work jerks who act like lapdogs in their female partner’s presence.  I may have missed something along the way, but surely it should be, without going too extreme to either side, the other way round?  Why should it be the other way round – “nicer” in work but firmer in relationships?  Well, in no uncertain terms, these men would be better off on both counts if they switched sides. 

In work and social places, men feed positively off male counterparts who endear, embrace, relate to and support each other.  This isn’t to say men at the top of the ladder should be too easy going or passive, because this can border over to taking advantage of uncontrolled situations.  However, whether in work or social environments, a man will almost always give back more when he is shown respect and a level of understanding.  They drink more when more is poured in their glass.  From my experience, guys working for unlikeable jerks, who achieve nothing more than making their staff dread the start of a new day, only hasten their endeavours to seek pastures new employment.  How can this predicament be beneficial to a department and business?

On the other hand, women interacting with their male boyfriends or husbands run a relatively opposite process.  Men who are too giving, understanding, caring, considerate and agreeable are men who will, over time, be taken for granted by their respective female partners.  Women will deny this, but then look at the actions in precedence to listening to the words.  Further to this, think of all the past girlfriends you have been nice with in comparison to those you treated with more apathy.  Assess those women you made the centre of your universe against comparables who were simply a single function of your diverse life.  If honest, I can guarantee that the vast majority of men would say the former group of women kept expecting more but returned less, whilst the latter group of women consistently came running back. 

Why is this the illogical case?  Pure and simple: women respond positively to being challenged, and they form negative emotions towards men who lay it all on a plate.  Women shouldn’t blame me for saying this, and they instead should concede confession to the overpowering but unexplainable innate function that belongs to their genetic make-up.  If women do need a real person to pinpoint this blame onto, turn that finger in the direction of your first sister Eve and her forbidden apple. 

But don’t expect women to help men along the way with this undeniable strike of lightning that is known as real life in the emotional world.  Women will still talk with their egos before their ultimate happiness, and these will be words that epitomize their perfect man being a nice guy who acts in this way day in and day out.  Then, like a bolt out of the blue, a high percentage of women jettison from the men they described how they wanted him to be.

There are remote high status men, or even lower tier managers, who do seem to strike the balance.  However, when you bear in mind that a top end occupational high profile man belongs to a select 1% group of the male population, and the most extreme physically attractive men – who should, in theory, be men who are not infatuated by female beauty due to options in the sexual market - are in a compartment of less than 1% of the male society, you can imagine that men who are both appealing in a combined status and sexual measurements are extremely rare.  Even the sparse men who could tick both boxes will usually have little comprehension of female emotional psychology, female physical evolution, female compliance tests to strive for demands, or female anxiety of their impending peak appeal drawing to a slide.  If men were aware of all this, it would manifest to bring about a rare male creature who values his female partner, but who likewise isn’t afraid to lose her.  His girlfriend or wife would consequently try harder to please him. Deep down, this is precisely how she desires it to be.

Fundamentally, and without putting too fine a point on it, men who women love the most are men who are not afraid of women in general terms.  I can’t help but see so many men act in the totally wrong way with women in respect to minding their words, apologizing if they believe even the slightest wrong move has been made, constantly treading on eggshells, seeking their approval, requiring reassurance that their partners are happy with all in the world, or basically worrying too much about her leaving him.  What a shameful planet we live in if a man has to wake up every day with these concerns.  When all is said and done, what’s in it for him as part of this trade? 

Sunday 23 November 2014

Seeing through female self-promotion

"He was right, and she was wrong.  He lost sight, and her plan worked along."

A reader gives reference to an interesting situation on the back of a previous post (The nice guy will always get his chance) on Women's choices: men's divorces:

''And what was once safety, in terms of knowing he couldn’t do better, makes her now desire someone who other women do find attractive''
This reminds me of a story I read, I literally got nauseated reading it, I would have believe the story until it mentioned the guy was 9 inches, I mean common 9 inches?!. From your experience, Do you believe this story to be true?

My response:

Mmmm, part of this story will be true and some will be dramatized. 

I think the infidelity part is true, because no man surely writes all this just for a bit of drama or attention. That’s a woman’s job (more on this in a moment). To me, it is the all so common theme of a hot woman choosing to be with a considerably lesser looking man as a boyfriend for reasons as given many times on my blog – but mainly through her egoism in feeling better alongside someone less eye catching – only to later down the line, whilst she is still hot enough to attract other men, feel underwhelmed with her long term male partner. An opportunity to betray him with a more sexually arousing man is always going to be the likely consequence.

Where it goes off the mark, for me, is with all the hyped up bedroom and manhood information. One side of me believes his girlfriend has told him all this. Whether it is all actually true, I have big doubts, as it comes across as the all so common female habit to further promote her worth to the world. Women will take any given opportunity to leverage their self-importance, even if it means ripping the soul out of her “loved one’s” heart with manipulation of the truth. Even “10s” (which she won’t be) still have days of doubts, because they aren’t always going to look great. “The best looking man she has ever met” just so happened to be at this party. And guess what, he chose her. Guess what else, he had a massive dick. Oh, and he knew everything there was to know and execute with in the sack too. The best looking men are on a <1% compartment, and men with 9 inch cocks will be equally as rare. Do the probability on all this….

So the adulteration is to be believed, but all else leaves too much to pure fantasy for it to be taken with anything more than a pinch of salt.

But one bit of advice I would give this man is to, for god’s sake, not stay with her. For one, she has committed the unforgiveable sin of cheating on him. If that’s not enough, women never truly respect men who forgive their unfaithfulness, because it spells out the signal that this man can do no better. Even if objectively you will conceivably never get a hotter woman, you have to lead with the mentality that you will. Also, this so called “10/10” woman will soon lose much of this physical beauty through the rapid ageing process of bringing up a kid. 

As a side-note, the reason I say she will not be a 10/10 (I’ve never seen a 10/10 in my life anyway, even on TV) is because if she was that hot, she would have been gobbled up to do high paid modelling, acting, or some other easy-money media activity on the back of her looks. Also, with due respect, she wouldn’t be with a run of the mill earning man of above average looks only. Most men are too kind on female physical attractiveness rating anyway, but a 7/10 man with an 8.5/10 to 9/10 woman will say she is a 10/10 due to his infatuation. So the likelihood is she is somewhere between an 8/10 and 9/10.

A sickening story, but the all so familiar trend of a woman’s attempts to send herself to the moon in the short space of time she has to do so…

Acknowledgements and further reading

Saturday 22 November 2014

Why a woman will not admit the truth

“We take for granted what we have, 
instead of being thankful for what we may not have had.”

Men like me can get involved in conversations with women about their somewhat strange choices in the sexual market.  Even in the short time since this blog commenced, I also receive various female responses to these posts, and their emotive words can range from anything between rational questioning of my claims, to downright aggressive hamster style delusional comments that make no sense.  Wouldn’t it be a mundane world if we all lived in reality…

Some of these questions raised do achieve a certain degree of credibility, and I think here stems the point to how any man should assess women and their mentality in the emotional spectrum.  Whilst many women do nothing more than hide from reality in favour of the fallacy that keeps their hopes, dreams and justifications alive, there are also a decent percentage of them who do talk theoretical sense.  In other words, many women are efficient at seeing the wrong from the right when stepping aside of their bubble and acting as the one looking in.  The problem with these women who do comprehend their peer’s errors is that they will make the same mistakes when placed bang in the middle of their own dilemma.  So even our good lady friends who do see it transparently from a far will still make poor judgments when it boils down to their own world.

The most pressing female query I seem to have pushed against me is why a woman would not simply confess to what I claim if the reward is ultimate happiness.  How would they benefit if men took precedence of apathy over passiveness?  Why would women react positively to men who prioritize their own life before any girlfriend or wife?  If a woman’s ego is dented, surely this will only achieve a negative view of the man she interacts with and consequently she will seek for pastures new with men showering her with gifts, compliments and worshipping of the ground she treads on?  Well for all women and men watching on, I offer you these 3 reasons to why women do not admit the truth:

Women are never sure what they want

Women are never completely sure what they say when an emotional topic – that involves them personally – arises in discussion.  This is why you will hear them offer far more valid and substantiated views when they are referring to a female friend or acquaintance.  Because they have stepped out of their own bubble, they speak the words to how a woman should act in the light of decision-making with men.  But if this same commenting woman was placed in the same position, it’s there for all to see how many times she would act differently to what she said and the same as how her female counterpart delivered.

Female egos do the talking

Women talk with their egos and not their preferences.  To clarify, a woman will, for the most part, say what her ego tells her, but then over time it will come back to haunt her.  The best example is how a woman will state she wants a nice guy as a male partner who will always be there for her, he will continuously place her before anything else in his life, and he will exert inundated effort, energy and monetary expenditure on her.  Yet as time passes by, it’s no coincidence that many women jettison from these giving men.  Her ego told her that she must be special for a man to treat her like a princess, but her ultimate happiness and sexual predilections are drawn towards men who act with far less care to the consequences.

Another case in point is how women claim so many men are jerks.  This claim is nothing short of comical, because to be a jerk in proper terms – cheating, taking a woman for granted and constantly lying to her – a man needs to be of extreme high scale physical looks or someone who has very high social status.  These men can get away with being jerks if they so please to be so, because they are the men with options.  In percentage terms, how many men really tick either box?  So when a woman protests that she always ends up with jerks, it construes as the following self-promotion tactic and justification on her behalf:
  • As jerks are seen as the most in demand men, if she ends up with them she must be special to the world and a cut above all other women. This is at least what she tells herself and hopes others believe.
  • Women, deep down in their honest veins, know that the vast majority of men are nice guys.  Unfortunately, these men by majority also happen to be the least in demand men who are, by no coincidence, the most loyal boyfriends.  Up to a point, women are loathed to go for these men because they want males (mainly jerks) who are less in supply but more in demand.  However, naturally by the sheer numbers logic they will find their path to a nice guy, only to be later underwhelmed.  To justify never dating a nice guy, or likewise finding reasons to depart, women will ultimately argue that they only end up with jerks.  Despite laying on the bad luck sob story, the truth is these women consciously, but usually subconsciously, go screening for jerks.

Women want the best of both worlds

Women want the “cake and eat it” metaphoric luxury.  This is all the more relevant once they pass the age of 23 and are perhaps looking to settle down a little, or a lot.  As touched on, men (most nice guys) who are the least in demand are the most willing in commitment.  They are also, by no lucky spin of the coin, the men who will appreciate their female partner’s existence to the furthest degree.  By being an efficient provider, these men tick most boxes with regards to being a loyal, faithful, trustworthy and long term suitable partner.  The drawback, for women, is these men lack the credentials to sexually optimize their female delegates.

A woman can hardly go around confessing she desires one man to provide and another man for good sex, so she will naturally go with the verbal language that the willing provider is the perfect man for her.  This is vain hope and plausible deniability rolled into one bowl.  But when women instigate the majority of relationship withdrawals and divorce initiations, again, the actions are opposite to the words.

Isn’t it a tough world for a woman to be happy?  At a young age she most craves for a jerk, because the profile he attains makes her feel alive and worthy.  When older, she selects a lesser looking man because, once more, this man strokes her ego the most by polishing the crown and showing excess gratification for taking him.  Each route leads to a car crash at the crossroads.

Now there is some good news for the more courageous and secure women out there.  Despite being extremely hard to track down, some men (like yours truly) do possess the necessary know-how to strike that perfect balance.  These men can be firm and understanding at the appropriate times.  They are tough and sensitive in response to his woman’s actions.  He never borders too far to the asshole or lapdog extreme.  He distributes a challenge that will never illustrate that he is in the palm of her hands, but there is enough knowledge of his attainability and loyalty to prove he is good boyfriend material.   Fundamentally, he is sexually attractive but with the morals and values to match. 

I always get the feeling that, along with making many women antagonistic towards me due to their irritable, if internally denied, feeling of inferiority to my physical looks on a gender relativity scale, when they actually take the time to know me, I cause even more confusion in their little heads.  Because if a good looking man can illustrate his good personality, loyalty and genuine demeanour - something women see as not accustomed to men of blessed physical looks - they lose the justification to be with their lesser looking and safe male partner.  Putting female egoism to one side for a moment, at the end of the day the mitigation to choose a sexually uninspiring man is due to the fact she can trust him and enjoy his comfortable company, right?

As a final note, men should always be careful what women say in respect to their most preferential male metric as a sexual partner.  Many women will harp on about the fact they need a man with great personality, someone who is compatible to their interests and hobbies, and a person who is on their wavelength with consideration and listening ability.  Now place this same woman with a choice between a man who possesses all the attributes as said, and a totally incompatible, grumpy and inconsiderate bloke who just so happens to be a local sports star or a wealthy businessman.  Don’t be surprised to see her go for the one who is not matched to her but who most inflates her perceived importance on planet earth.  Until this day occurs, she can always hide behind the vast majority of men who are so naïve that they believe what she says.  Even when thrown in the ring of hypocrisy, she’ll still find a way to justify what she did.    

Women want the best of both worlds when it derives to men they collide with in their everyday lives, and they pretty much achieve it by the sheer magic of how the male population is made up in character terms.  On the one hand they are surrounded by 9 out of 10 men who polish their crowns and make them feel better about life.  This is just how they like it.  But even with this ego boost injection received from the mainstream male puppets, women still need that isolated man in the same environment who acts against the grain and stands out due to his lack of infatuation towards their existence.  Essentially, he is the man acting out the role to optimize their sexual desires.    

Tuesday 18 November 2014

Male scents positively move female emotions

"It requires very little ability to find fault.  That is why there are so many critics.”

In general, women like men to be a good few inches taller than them.  By majority, women prefer to be more physically attractive than their male partner.  By and large, women like to wake up with a man who has a fit body, but one that is no more impressive than their own profile in relative terms.  Nearly every woman on the planet likes a man to smell good.

Analyze the four sentences.  The first three naturally lead a person to believe, and general observation will back this up, that women have innate insecure traits in leading them to be with a protective but not necessarily good looking man.  I don’t know if I’m making a little headway now, but I actually think that, from the women I talk to, less of them seem to deny the reality that the female society prefer to be with a man who is less eye catching.  They don’t necessarily use the word egoism – because that is fundamentally what it is – but they do appear to hint that a man who is too good looking simply intimidates them.  I have been accused of this, even by women who know me personally and admit I’m a genuine, personable, honest and loyal guy.

Now take the last sentence.  Irrespective of how a man looks – whether he is ugly, average, above average, good looking or great looking – women hold strong predilections for a man to smell admirable.  I thought this blog deserved a post dedicated to this subject, because it can sway a woman’s indifferent thoughts towards positive feelings.  A man’s scent can, within reason, determine how far he can leverage in locating a woman above his own physical attractiveness level.

Like anything, there are limitations.  A woman who has high priority for a man to earn well with a high status occupation will most likely show ignorance towards a low earning man who smells like god’s gift.  But if two ugly men are competing with the same woman, rest assured she will choose the one who smells good.  So for ugly men, a good smell alone could get him an extra grade of physical beauty in comparison to his usual girlfriends.

Good looking men, so often accustomed to hostile, aggressive and jealous demeanours when encountering women, can also benefit from cologne that lives in the memory.  A woman may not like the sight of a man looking as good, or better, than her, but she will almost unconsciously take oversight to this irritable feeling by the overpowering infatuation with his smell.  Once he can by-pass her reservations, she’s his for the taking.

Average looking men should gain the most from pleasant aromas.  As average looking men neither repulse nor antagonize women on first sight, this excellently placed middle ground acts as a firm foundation to move her on.  A very cute or hot woman may not have noticed an average looking man as he walked past 5 yards away, but as he closes the distance her indifference is in prime position to be captured by the air through her nostrils. 

I’m pretty much the only man in the office I work in who wears eau de toilette on a daily basis.  Whilst the odd man may make a passing sarcastic or derogatory comment (to which I will always reply by “better than smelling of b.o”), women of all ages, cultures and beauty levels cannot help but be ignited to what positive message their nose is sending out to their mind.  Let’s face it, when you walk through a large chain beautician department, a decent percentage of the female workers are easy on the eye - in relativity to the low percentage of women easy on the eye in most other social or working environments.  With this consideration, it is little wonder that women are drawn in by a good male scent.  If a woman asks you which fragrance you have sprayed on, let them know that you can’t reveal your secrets otherwise they run the risk of liking you more than their respective boyfriends or husbands.  Works every time…

However, a man should be careful that he doesn’t fall into the trap of the “more is more” mentality.  This is certainly not the case.  An over consumption of cologne sends out signs of desperation, and it also borders on smelling more powerful than a woman’s perfume.  This is a schoolboy error, as woman, despite loving expensive male eau de toilettes, still do not take kindly to a man who exerts more effort to attract the opposite sex than she does.  Similar to looking good, it should be effortless and not try hard. 

With the above in mind, be careful to judge how many sprays you place on in relevance to the fragrance involved.  The rule of thumb is to spray twice on the front of the neck, twice on the back of the neck, and once on each wrist back and front.  No more than 8 sprays in total should ever be contemplated.  If you’re on a “could be lucky” night, add a couple of sprays on your genital region.  It never fails to amaze me how women who are not too partial in going down suddenly find an urge to do so if it smells good.  Also, try and ensure the sprays are finalized half an hour prior to the social event.  This gives it time to blend into your natural skin, and to not turn out like a smell from walking in Selfridges.  Finally, don’t be one of those guys who pays out for freshening up in bathrooms during nights out.  It’s the bedded in smell that attracts women the most, and not the instant blast.

As for the actual brands and fragrances so to speak, I wouldn’t usually let on to my current ownership.  Nevertheless, as I’m hoping you’re all good guys who are like me, I don’t mind opening the curtains on this one. 

Casual day one:                      Paco Rabanne  - 1 Million
Casual day two:                      Viktor & Rolf – Spicebomb
Casual day three:                    Hollister – Socal Cologne
Casual day four:                     Joop! - Homme
Casual day five:                      Abercrombie & Fitch – Fierce
Casual day six:                       Roberto Cavalli – Just Cavalli Men
Casual day seven / gym         Boss – Orange Man

Upgrade day:                          Mont Blanc – Legend (note: similar scent to A&F Fierce)
Special occasion:                    Prada - Luna Rosa
Very special occasion:            Tom Ford – Black Orchid

All the above collectively equate to roughly £600.  Give or take a couple of quid, that’s an average of £60 per bottle.  Wearing something pretty much every day, all the above would last me around 2 ½ years.  So if I was to start from scratch, I work that out at £0.66 ($1.06) per day.  It’s hardly going to break the bank in the whole scheme of things when you offset it against the likely rewards.  And unless I’m on my own here, I always feel that the knowledge of smelling good brings out an extra air of confidence.

The fragrances I document are only personal preferences.  However, what I would suggest is to analogize cologne like you should assess women’s emotions.  A woman likes the challenge of guessing what a man is like, what he is thinking, who is really is, and how he feels about her.  The diversification and suspense is what takes a man into the bedroom and away from her boredom or indifference.  The same goes for colognes.  Try and mix and match as many as possible in terms of citrus, floral, oriental, woody, fruity, masculine, expense, status, youth and maturity.  Try and go for different countries of origin.  Too many days of one fragrance leads a woman to know what a man’s natural character is.  Always keep her intrigued. If she doesn’t know him from one day to the next, she never tires of trying harder to unravel the puzzle.

Unless a man works in a male dominated arena, I’ll never understand why he wouldn’t dab on a few sprays.  You never quite know which lovely lady you could collide with on that particular day.

Saturday 15 November 2014

How men should and should not express when alongside women

“If you have nothing appropriate or pertinent to say, it is better to say nothing at all rather than to say something stupid, irrelevant or that would be repeated.”

It never ceazes to amuse me how many men act so horribly wrong when in the vicinity of women.  Nothing illustrates these wrong moves more than when I see a photograph of a heterosexual couple.  A man may well think he is acting out the corrective procedures in illustrating all happiness, glee, optimism and gratitude in the presence of his loved one, and he may be fooled by the words that come out her mouth to leverage her ego, but if you are one of these men, how many times have you been ditched by one of these externally joyful looking girls?

To be fair, the images I am about to show correlate with the whole male character population.  That is: 80% (at least) of men border too far to the nice guy beta male extreme, 15% (at most) of men sway towards the care-free jerk persona, and as an absolute glass half full maximum, 5% of men (good guys) find the compromise by holding a balance between the two diverse scales.  

The wrong portrait

What good is there to say about this man’s expression?  If I was to stretch my realms of kindness, I may say that his decent teeth allow him to exploit one element that places him in a top 10% bracket.  Bear in mind though that most men outside of California do not have great teeth.  But let’s evaluate all that drowns him in the stormy sea:
  • His smile is way, way too big.
  • His smile is far greater than her equivalence.
  • He looks incredibly happy to be there, whilst she holds an image only enough to vainly convince others she is equally “exhilarated” in his company.  Smile for the camera, love.
  • He leans into her, thus showing a sign of weakness and reassurance requirement that they are a couple.  A woman should always be slightly leaning into her man – secure in his strength, confidence, apathy and protectiveness. 
  • His glass is held too high at chest height.  “Cheers, here’s to a happy ending!”  Once more, this construes that he is much happier to be there than she is.
  • In line with trying too hard, the natural knock-on effect is that of oversized eyes and a grin of a clown.
  • He epitomizes the abstract of a perennial beta male.  In their honest veins, these are the men who women settle for, as opposed to men who women are aroused and challenged by.

You get the picture.  An average looking young man with a cute fresh woman is always going to be a sitting duck waiting to be dumped once her good feeling ego has reached its limits and there is nothing his over expenditures can compensate for any longer.  A man in this dynamic has to challenge a woman, and there is no better cost-free method to incorporate than keeping her guessing in relation to his emotions.  This man pisses that luxury down the toilet in just one photo.  All he succeeds in doing is further reinforcing her knowledge that he can do no better.  Great for her short term ego, but incredibly damaging to her longer term visceral feelings.

Q-Tip 1:
Women may think, and some may even say, that they crave to be with a man who worships the ground they walk on.  Remember that for every woman who does genuinely and honestly mean these words and who feeds off positively in loving a man acting this way, there are umpteen women who will end up resenting their man for taking the challenge away from her.   Deep down, she wanted nothing more than to fight for his reluctant selectivity in making her the chosen one. 

I’ve shown this photograph, because I know there will be some nice guys out there – who just cannot bring themselves to believe the advice as given in blogs of this genre – who would look to a vision of this kind and claim that exploitation of male public love, appreciation and compliments can lock down a woman. 

Yes it can, but it is contextual.  A decent looking man with an average looking woman could act this way and get away with it.  She would be grateful to be with him.  Similarly, an older single mother would give leeway to a man exploiting enamoured habits as she would know her options are far limited in comparison to her hotter, younger and pre motherhood self.

However, far more important than any of the aforementioned reasons is the mere fact that the man above is Zayn Malik of One Direction – a member of the biggest (biggest as in sales, revenues, exposure) international music offering in the modern era.  A man in this position could carry his disposition in any which way he pleases with 99.99% of women, and it wouldn’t have a negative ramification on his emotional endeavours.  On a smaller but still valid scale, he is also as physically attractive as his girlfriend, and although she is the lead act of a British pop girl group, her status is not even on a level to tie his shoelaces.  With this in mind, a pitiful male gripping pose as seen somewhat mitigates the female psychological distaste.  

Nevertheless, let me throw a hypothesis amongst the low possibility.  If she somehow became a little closer to another high profile star of similar looks and status level, yet this particular male candidate was always that bit more apathetic, ungratifying, non-supplicated and moody, which way would she then sway?

The right portrait

In contrast to the vast numbers of men carrying out wrong conducted mannerisms when with their female partners, there are a tiny minority of men in percentage terms who can get it just about correct.  With this guy, he holds it down to near perfection.

  • He has a slight smirk that borders on moodiness.  He certainly isn’t too pleased to be there.
  • Her smile comes across as genuine and from the heart.  Most importantly, it is a couple of happy notches above his air of positivity.
  • She looks happier to be there than him.
  • Although not leaning away, he holds the stance that would be maintained if on his own.  What this caters for is her to lean marginally into him, and in result it shows all to be seen, but most relevant it convinces her, that she needs his security for protection.
  • He is totally relaxed, whilst she delivers the accustomed female hand on her hip.  Again, she is subconsciously trying harder than him.   
  • There is enough contact from him (see right tips of his fingers on her lower back) to prove his interest.  Even a woman who is dating a lesser looking man still needs a hint of comprehension that he does value her existence.
  • In spite of being a fair way from a complete alpha poster child, on face value he does come across as an alpha male in relativity to the innumerable boring nice guys.  Alpha males are the men who women crave for, even if they loathe to admit it once they pick up a long term partner – a beta male - who is the polar opposite.

The only nit-pick I could arrive to within this all so uncommon viewing is that for even further emphasizing of her admiration projected onto him, she would have placed her right hand along his side abdominal area (although I doubt he possesses any visual abs).  That would have completed the set, as it is the proven female infatuation born out of defenceless physical desire.  My hunch tells me that in conjunction with unconditional positive emotion, there is still that conscious uncontrollable female thought of how she looks once the button is pressed.  A woman who places stronger emphasis on her inner senses than her outer display is a woman from the rarest breed.  I’m not at all convinced this is the case with her.

A common woman-man vision

As the bottom picture just so happens to be conveniently there to see, I couldn’t not write a few words about the typical female selection criteria of an “ideal” looking man.  What you see here is the perfect male match up for a woman when considering how he will look up against her when public eyes are on.

Although women in this bracket will deny it, a woman like this will collide with a small but pronounced number of men who catch her eye and sexually arouse her more than the man she is with.  She is a solid low end hot girl of 8.25/10, and remember this look is as good as it gets in terms of the whole week.  In other words, she naturally isn’t going to look as endearing when the birds start singing.  This is another consideration a woman will make once the eyes open in the morning and she sees her man looking pretty much the same as he ever does.  But when all is said and done, she is a top 1% woman in respect to hotness.

He is facially decent looking, but he isn’t someone who will live in the memory of passing female recollections.  It looks to me like he is 6ft 3”, and although I have previously documented that 6ft 2” is the perfect male height, this is negligible in consideration to her comparison.  I’d say he has an above average body – in reasonable trim, but with a little bit of extra wobbly layers that could be conditioned if it mattered that much to him.  All in all, I’m thinking an overall physical attractiveness of 7.5/10 rating for him is perhaps stingy, yet 7.75/10 may be too generous.  Either way, he is at the upper range of above average in overall male looks.

And this is just the way a hot girl between 8/10 to 8.5/10 likes it.  Decent looking, good height, an attractive but not flawless body, and ultimately a man who is not going to steal the show from her.  This woman looks in her mid to late 20s, and her age would back up the unproven theory that the lion’s share of top end cute women and low end hot women above the age of 24 prefer to be alongside a man who is that undeniable margin below them in the looks stakes.  He receives enough compliments from the opposite sex for her to know he is a good catch, but he isn’t attaining woman after woman eyeing up his exclusive blessings.  You won’t see many women like her with guys of 8/10 or above.

A last thought

But this post must finish how it is represented in the heading.  Irrespective to your looks level, the most appropriate default for a man should be a mild smirk bordering on a “couldn’t give a crap” expression.  If you are less eye catching in aesthetic terms than your respective female partner, this is the absolute minimum you start with.  If anything, border on the side of grumpiness.  With men who are boxing on a similar weight, or those who find their way to a less physically attractive woman (than your own grade), you may be prudent to throw in the occasional (1:10 ratio) smile.  In any case, I would always expect her to be smiling more than you if the relationship means anything to her.   

Q-tip 2:
What is more important to you?  Is it to be liked by women and to make them feel better about life, or is it to be liked by women in a sexual manner?  Rarely can you have both when choosing one route.  If the former costs you time, effort, energy and money way beyond the latter, yet the latter, at worse, gets you to the same crossing point within the same duration, which road would you now take?

**** The descriptions documented with regards to habits, decisions, strategies or any other reference are based on my general experiences with females and males who are representative to the respective vision in each photograph.  This blog does not subscribe to claim these are the ways each woman and man mentioned above does, in practice, behave. ****

Wednesday 12 November 2014

Men lacking knowledge and strategy in the sexual market… and why they date down

“He who knows no better, will do no better.”

Many of the posts on this blog will allude to and offer evidence that, generally speaking, the majority of couples walking hand in hand will involve the female physical attractiveness level being greater than the equivalent male’s physical allure.  On the assumption that most of these relationships will have an age gap of no more than 7 years, this consensus – of the woman being more pleasing to the eye of neutral observers than the man – will be most prevalent when the woman is below the age of 35.  As the female age creeps beyond 35, and this time often strikes before, you will start to notice the tables to turn where a greater number of men will now be the better looking of the two.  The simple explanation to this change around is that women age at a faster speed than men do, and in addition to this, if a man takes care of his lifestyle he can potentially be more physically attractive in his 30s in comparison to his 20s.  By and large, women do not have this evolving luxury.

I stand by this viewpoint, and based on my objective and unbiased take on things, the observations show a stronger trend towards a dynamic of better looking woman syndrome since the latter part of 2008 within the UK.  However, it has always been there as long as I can remember, and these are the 3 outline explanations:

  • Whether from the high, average or low category of physical attractiveness, women will publically be more eye catching than a man of relative standing.  Most people (95%+ of women and 98%+ of men) between the most relevant ages of 15 to 54 will fall into the average looking or worse category.  So even when two average looking people get together, the enhancement of make-up and facial foundations will result in the woman being more striking.  With all this in mind, and with all else equal, many women will have no choice but to select a lesser looking man on the sheer numbers analysis alone.
  • Women are not as prone to focus on male looks as men are in picking out female physical beauty.  Women, amongst an array of sexual appeal and partner suitability requirements, may only place a man’s looks as the 6th highest priority.  On the other hand, nearly all men place maximum emphasis, with exceptions of occasional cheap lays, on the way a woman looks.  This all manifests in the majority of women compromising on a man who will sexually optimize her in favour of one who will likely be a more loyal and efficient partner for the future.
  • As much as women may deny it, they generally possess low trust levels, low confidence, high insecurity and high egoism issues when facing the possibility of being alongside a man who is equally or more physically attractive.  Of course this differs in relevance to their character, but in comparison to men it is almost absolute.  Flip the dynamic, and it is very unlikely a less attractive man would turn down an opportunity with a more beautiful woman on these discomforting considerations.  So even if many women find a man physically arousing, they will often choose a safer bet in order to ease these nagging feelings inside.

Now with these prominent observations, I will sound like a total hypocrite when I state that all but one of my network of male friends (approximately 20 close friends) are either dating down on a visual blessings analysis, or at best, they are on the same level as their respective girlfriends or wives.  One immediate thought to this curious contradiction to the normal course of events is that they are nearly all average looking nice guys.  But then most men are nice guys, and even a high percentage of these men are dating up.  My friends seem to break the trend.  Something doesn’t add up.

One of the 20 as mentioned has a theoretical knowledge of interaction strategy (game) with women.  I know this because he has sent me various links in the past.  He is 28 years of age, he holds an above average looking rating of 7.25/10, he is 6ft 3 inches in height, and he has a relatively high local social status within the city of Nottingham.  He is decent paid with good personality.  With these metrics, he is in an excellent position to secure a younger woman of 8/10 rating on the 10% upgrading process alone. You will find most hot women with above average looking men.  I will admit these hot women, even from the low side of hotness, are rare to find, but he should be with someone who is cute at least.  Strangely, he is in a long term relationship with a 41 year old woman with two children from previous endeavours.  I know he had a bad break-up post University with a high maintenance woman of his own age, and this has clearly dented his confidence.  On nights out, it is evident to me how he shoots below his league when choosing to interact with female targets.

Another close friend, who is now married to the woman, leaves it even harder to solve the puzzle.  Although his teeth leave much to be desired through a near lifetime of smoking, I rate him as 8/10 on the physical scale.  In my opinion, he stands at the ideal male height of 6ft 1 inch to 6ft 2 inches.  Add to this his natural charm, charisma and confident demeanour, in addition to his lead singing status in a local band, and he really has a great deal to offer.  Yet his chosen wife is 5 years his senior with an adult son from a previous relationship.  She is nothing to look at.  My friend has certainly lived the promiscuous lifestyle in his younger years, although not many of these short term encounters were of the highest calibre.  I can only assume he somehow fell in love with her personality.  I was actually with him on the New Year’s Eve night he met up with her.  Suddenly, before I knew they were officially dating arrived the news she was pregnant.  The rest is history.

In the case of the second friend, he does have my sympathies to an extent.  As a guy of similar physical attractiveness rating, I know how hard it is to get past the majority of female issues in knowing how the lion’s share of women stray away from being with a man who can captivate an audience.  In relatively small populated cities, there are never going to be inundated numbers of women who are 8/10+ walking the streets.  And most of the cute girls (>7/10 to <8/10) will reject a man of this grade.  Nevertheless, I also know that with the right amount of patience, and with other attributes to throw on the table, this bridge can be built to gain access to the required destination. 

I believe that men who choose to “date down”, or men who have no faith in themselves to “date up”, lack the following 3 basic principles that prevent them from taking the logical step:

  • They lack the necessary interaction strategy with women, in not knowing how to interact efficiently to acquire their projected attraction.  There are numerous informative blogs that cover such methods, and this blog is not intended to dive deep into it.  As a snapshot though: concealing obvious interest, demonstrating higher value (DHV), statements that neither compliment or insult (aka “negs”) and comfort feeling are just a mention of effective processes.  In truth, eradicating bad habits – like poor body language and talking excessively – will go a long way alone to improve strategic interaction with women.
  • A comprehension of female emotional psychology is required.  Although I wouldn’t state this as a blanket theory, a valid conception would be to act opposite to logic.  If women state they crave for nice guys, act relatively adverse to this.  If you think they are not attracted to taken men, think again.  Almost every time you stroke a woman’s ego you are actually rowing the wrong way to hitting her long term sexual and respect buttons onto you.  This blog is predominantly based on the study of female psychology, and it covers a wide range of topics to consider.
  • Perhaps most importantly is for men to acknowledge a woman’s limitations, no matter how objectively beautiful, cute or hot she may be, and to understand how unfeasible their verbal demands and requirements are.  A woman’s mission is to sell her worth to the world and, to a point, nobody can blame a person for striving to bring as much food to the table in a limited buffet opening window.  But there falls the point: a woman rarely becomes more valuable to a man after he has shot his bolt in her for the first time, and most women are secretly aware of it.  This appreciation of a small pinnacle sexual market value timeframe, alongside self-confession to an early depreciation date (in the context of a lifetime), forces them to feed their egos to achieve as much as possible within a plausible delivery period.  In any case, this is often only a subconscious test to a man’s value.  If he passes the tests, and he doesn’t buckle to the demands, the likelihood is that she will only love him more.  If a man is reluctant to venture into a liaison with a perceived high maintenance woman, and the uncaring attitude that may go with her, he would do well to remember that for every passing day of the relationship, especially from the female age of 25 onwards, the balance of power has an imperceptible way of shifting in a man’s favor.  This is unless there is a financial imbalance from a man’s positive perspective, and they get married without a pre-nuptial agreement.  When this is the circumstance, weigh the scales once more towards the woman.

So in truth, and when all things considered, a leverage of interaction strategy, knowledge of female psychology and acknowledgement of a woman’s limitations, in its theory at least, is very important in order for men to grade up.  But never forget, even the most studious of men in this field are near on a complete waste of time if they do not attain the baseline confidence and attitude that is imperative in climbing the ladder of female quality. 

It is a valid lesson to remember that almost every man would choose to be with a woman who is more physically attractive than he is in relative terms.  The reason it doesn’t always happen with men in their 20s and 30s is because only a small percentage of them truly believe they can grade up.  Most men are not very observant, and they can also be naïve in thinking women view physical attraction and partner suitability in the same way as they do.  Further to this, men hold the conception that the more beautiful she is, the bigger the ego and the more draining she will be on his energy and financial exertions.  This is true in general terms, but as explained, men with comprehension and how to handle women can overcome these obstacles.  There is a limit to the “upgrading” facility, but at least 10% above their own grade should be achievable to most men.

On the other hand, although women are no different to men in respect to being more sexually aroused by higher physically attractive members of the opposite sex, the female emotions cause them to very rarely seek out a man who is as physically alluring as she could secure within her attainability grasp.

Finally, just in case any readers are wondering about the friend who is boxing above his weight, he is no great looker.  What he did take pleasure on in doing during our college days was to stand nest to any of us in urinals and be amused in displaying and exploiting his manhood prowess.  The size of this is irrelevant, as it is the confidence within his boner bones that allowed him to pin down his current wife.  Right place, right time and right mind are the ingredients for unconditional success.