"If you can't change for the better, don't change at all.”
Before I get into the nitty gritty of this post, take a look at the video link from the recent Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Cabello song. It is another case of a visual and verbal script that allows girls, young women, and god forbid older women post 25 years of age, to substantiate that when they fall for dense, low-life and loser jerks, it just cannot be explained and consequently all should be forgiven. It’s just too complicated to explain, so says the song, and at the end of the day it can't be her fault… Strangely, if a man falls for a hot bitch who treats him like dog poo, this is all down to stupidity and the brain ruled by his dick. You just can't beat life's hypocrisy, can you?
In terms of the story within the video, it is very much in line with what I see on rare occasions. The rarity has to be stressed, because although there is a much higher percentage of women who would like to date a jerk than women who would admit to this predicament, the simple reality is there are not even close to enough jerks out there to satisfy all these female seekers. This is why so many women settle for boring nice guys who they don't truly want to be with.
Although American readers of this blog will be far more qualified than me in commenting on the relationship dynamic seen in the video, based on observations from my visits over the pond it isn't uncommon to see a Latin American cute chick with a white jerk looking guy sporting numerous tattoos. I guess it is all part of the revolt mentality that goes through the girl's little head of hers. That is, not only does she want the danger and excitement of the bad boy, but she also wants the attention, challenge, and motivation deriving from the thought of pissing her parents and community off by dating outside her race.
The numbers analysis
Many naive men (as the majority of men are naive in emotional terms and in understanding women) can be brainwashed by female conversation that most men are jerks and don't treat women the way they truly deserved to be looked after. Any man believing these words based on agenda, convenience and bullshit will never have an ounce of success going forward.
The easiest way to establish how many jerks there are in the male society is to take a step back and think of 100 random men you know in your direct, or even indirect, weekly interactions. How many of them would you class as jerks, whether this is based on perception, anecdotal reasoning, or facts? What number do you think treat women like crap? If answered honestly, I doubt this would be more than 10 of them. If I'm right on this, and I'm pretty sure I am, this would mean that 9 out of 10 men are not jerks. In fact, a good number of the remaining 90 men would be weak, nodding dog orientated nice guys. This is why you should always take a woman claiming she has such bad luck with men, and who always ends up being treated badly, with a pinch of salt. The reality, for reasons that have been explained before, is that she is seeking out this minority of male reputation, profile and character. At the end of the day, it is her choice. Pity her, and don't feel sorry for or rescue her.
Can good guys date women who have dated jerks?
As a self-proclaimed good guy, the simple answer is yes, but tread carefully. Women who have a history of dating jerks are notorious for being extreme drama-hunting (due to the danger that she can broadcast in a few thousand words to her friends) and attention-seeking (a by-product of the drama to show off her importance to the world) people. I stress the word extreme, because in the day and age of social media et al, nearly all women of all beauty and ages, at least in the western world, have an element of dramatic and attention requirement traits. But fortunately a decent percentage of them do see the sense before it is too late, and they keep these negatives in moderation.
Women who have frequently dated widely sought after jerks are often hot, but not always. The highest number of them will be cute (7/10 to 7.75/10), and this is down to 4 main reasons:
- Cute women outweigh hot women by at least 10 to 1, therefore the sheer numbers alone manifest to produce a higher number of cute women with jerks than hot women.
- Hot women, and especially extreme hot women (>8.5/10) or hot women from more affluent backgrounds, will have a stronger tendency to sway towards higher status (both occupational and social status) and rich men. Although the largest proportion of these men are older, much lesser looking, and perhaps overweight, some of this male compartment will be younger lookers too. It's no coincidence that professional sports stars are nearly always seen with women of 8.5/10 or greater in physical attractiveness terms.
- Cute women often feel a greater need to be a follower, whereas although not necessarily any more confident internally, hot women can portray an external front to be more independent. This means that a cute woman will cling to a leader - the jerk - who takes her through the muddy waters more than a hot woman would be inclined to do so.
- Hot women have bigger egos and more fragile prides than cute women, therefore they don't take kindly to people thinking a man would treat them badly. With this possibility in mind, her sexual impulses won't be dragged towards the jerk as easily as the cute woman can be hypnotized.
So as a good guy, my recommendation would be to use the woman who has dated jerks as if you are a jerk too. This isn't to mean you should totally change your character into a jerk, but it would be prudent to care little to the consequences and make your life the priority. She can fit in to suit you. In the bizarre way female emotional psychology works, contrary to them verbalizing that they love a man to worship the ground they walk on and prioritize them, you will find she is forever running back for more.
In fact, this approach would produce even greater benefits than being an extreme jerk. Because although a woman who has a string of jerk history will never lose this mindset in fantasy terms, her age does convince the mind that continuing with the jerk process will only ever have a sad ending. Either he dumps her due to a better option, or she dumps him as the once excitement has diminished and he has nothing left to offer her life goals. So a more genuine and responsible, but equally edgy, man will reap these rewards brought about from her past poor choices.
What I would also add is to not give more than what the jerks gave to her in the past. If she gave her heart, body and soul to men who gave little exertion in return, why should you be the one to supply the endeavour, time and money that they weren't prepared to expend. Don't be the sucker to be drawn in by her words of "I've come to my senses and now need a man to treat me well." This is as good as her saying she gave the jerks everything for nothing, and now she will only give it all (and probably less) providing the new man gives far more in justifying her company. Leave these unproductive and white knight efforts to the clueless nice guys.
A final thought
Only a couple of days ago I was in a car parts retailer in Nottingham, when I saw a cute girl of 7.5/10 standing just inside the entrance foyer. She was kitted up on a cold day with tight jeans, tidy shoes, and an impressive coat. Long straight brown hair accompanied a natural pretty face. A young man alongside her was wearing a tracksuit, and he was average looking at best. His mate, of similar age and chavvy dress style, was shouting off at the member of staff about wanting a stereo or something replaced. The assumed boyfriend kept a bit quieter, but still gave his two pennies from his thick, unintelligent voice. She said something to them in slight criticism manner, not in as common an accent, but still enough for me know she wasn't from the best part of Nottingham. I can remember shaking my head at her when she looked at me, as if to let her know she could do so much better.