Tuesday 21 December 2021

Have winter boyfriends been compromised?


“Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

(Winston Churchill)


How much has changed since this previous post was published over eight years ago?  Some may argue a fair bit, whilst I expect many more will say it is very little.  I still stand to the latter by and large, however the last couple of winters have made me question this somewhat.

I also published this post over eighteen months ago – around the time when COVID-19 was on the lips of pretty much everybody.  What a crying shame we are still talking about it as we draw towards the 2021 close, and it may well only become worse from a global perspective over the coming weeks and months.  The post in question explored how the then existing pandemic predicaments would impact the trends of women’s choices in men, and the respective normal seasonal preferences in turn.

The background

Just over a year ago, I saw a hot brunette in the gym during the early morning.  Over roughly a couple of weeks I had sensed a passing, although not blatant, interest from her onto my presence.  She was a solid 8.25/10, and her dedication to training was decent if not enthusiastic.

One day I went up to her and asked how many sets she had left on the quadricep machine.  She answered with slight hostility that it was two more sets.  I replied by saying I would wait based on it was the last exercise left on my day, and I stood about a metre away.  I could feel her discomfort, which to me was not a terrible thing.

After her penultimate set, I asked her a question.  Without eye contact, she pointed to her headphones.  I raised my eyes in disapproval, but then waited on.  As she wiped up the equipment on completion, I started a conversation that processed as such:

“There you go, that wasn’t so hard was it?”

“What do you mean?”

“That wasn’t so hard – to be nice.”

“Oh, I’m always like that in the morning.”

“Right, so I shouldn’t take it personally then?” 

At that stage, she predicably walked away.  I recall only seeing her on one more occasion over the next three months (in spite of me still going regularly at that time in the morning), and then we went into UK lockdown for the months of January through to middle of April.

When the gyms did reopen on April 12th, she was in there on the first day.  The first thing I noticed was how much weight she had lost.  Gone were the nice curves, and now too thin for my tastes.  Nevertheless, I never saw her again for another seven months post that day.

Then one day….

Just over a month ago, I walked towards the exit door on a Sunday morning after my session.  I could see an attractive brunette wearing a cap walking towards the door, therefore I held it open for her. 

Whilst expecting little acknowledgement from her (based on the sheer law of averages of pretty women’s responses towards me), she just walked past me with no gratitude.  In anticipation this was going to occur, as she gained alongside me, I raised my voice in her ear to say:

“Don’t thank me will you!?”

In case you have not worked it out, it was the same girl (although I have to admit that it took me a few minutes later to realize this).  With the curves back too!

A week later

Five days later, I went towards the floor area where I perform lunges.  After a couple of minutes, I noticed she was working out on the cable machine.  Expecting her to either give me an acrimonious stare or, more likely, to totally ignore me, she, to my absolute surprise, did neither.  What she actually did, with no discretion, awkwardness or fronting whatsoever, was to give me the most genuine and friendly smile a woman could give to a man.

As she did it, I kind of just looked at her in a slight negative mood, although this could be excused based on the eye contact being during my set.  She looked away, and I then went to jump on a free machine I required. 

Around that same time, she moved over to another machine.  A personal trainer who works there walked up to her, and they must have had a ten to fifteen minute conversation.  There was truly little chemistry between them, but I assumed they were in a relationship.  He is a run of the mill slightly above mediocre man in overall physical attractiveness terms. 

Another week passed, and I walked from one side of the gym to the other.  I could see her eyes looking at me in total admiration, but I strolled to the area I needed to be.  Once more, the same guy went to talk to her shortly after I had seen her.

Then the following week….

On the Monday, I saw her looking at me as I walked towards the area she sat.  This time I smiled at her, but I worked out away from her vicinity.  Along came Wednesday, and she went to the smith machine next to me.  Between each set, I picked up on her crafty look over, although I was sneakily looking over to her just as much.  On the Friday, I walked up to her to talk, but as soon as I did, she walked off.

Then the Sunday came along, and she was training at 8.30am.  I had never seen her there on that day of the week/at that time before.  We crossed paths once more at the end of my workout, and this time she nervously looked at me before immediately looking away.

I started a conversation with her as she sat on the shoulder fly machine, and whilst at first looking uncomfortable, I could tell in her facial expression and body language that she was willing to engage in conversation.  After a few minutes I asked her if she was in a relationship, to which, whilst not looking me in the eye as she spoke, answered by clearly saying she was not.  I took her number.

The common theme

I messaged her later that day, but she didn’t reply.  However, I saw her the following morning (on the Monday) and she went out her way to say something.  We then had a brief chat before I informed her I was short of time, concluding that I had messaged her.  She said she intended to reply.

Then the following Wednesday came, and as she walked across the gym she ensured acknowledgement was made between the two of us.  As she later walked past me, she again said that she will reply.  On the Friday, having still not replied to me, we were never any closer than ten metres from each other.  Occasional glances were made, but no interaction.

How does all this come together?

Allow me to manifest in bullet points:

·       The likelihood is she has a boyfriend (the personal trainer).

·       She is content at best with him, or unhappy at worst (and wants out).

·       She has seen a higher calibre of man in her environment.

·       She is interested in the other man, hence saying she is not in a relationship.

·       Her interaction with the other man is noticeably when the boyfriend is not there.

·       Christmas is around the corner, and splitting with her boyfriend now is not nice.

·       She has refrained from messaging the other man to prevent any guilt on her part.

·       She wants to leave the door open for a new avenue in the near term.

The above reasons are based only on my possible thoughts derived from objective occurrence.  I could always be wrong though.  Maybe the fantasy of a higher sought-after man is better in a fantasy mind than in reality, and she has realized a safer bet (and someone who makes her feel better about herself due to his lesser physical looks) is the path she will reluctantly choose.  We can all say we will sky dive off Mount Everest, but it’s not so easy once there.

A final thought

The long and the short of all this, and a long-winded way to explain and conclude the main purpose to this post, is that the dynamics of COVID-19/lockdown/social restrictions/social habit changes have taken away some of the seasonal tendency women take pre pandemic.  Whereas many women would once have opted to not have boyfriends during spring and summer months, and then snuck up with beta boyfriend during autumn and winter, it has (for the last two years) more or less become a twelve-month annual process in sticking with her man.

What this ultimately has resulted in is a stronger emotion to become irritated with beta boyfriend in the autumn and winter.  As said woman has spent time with him for the six months prior, her tolerance, patience and appreciation of him come October is not as strong as it once was.  This may be a strong reason why more women will not be so loyal and committed to their boyfriends in colder months for the foreseeable future.

Take-aways from this post

·       Women will lie about anything, with very little remorse attached to this speech.  They find ways of convincing their minds that lies are a by-product of being a good person in not desiring to hurts another’s feelings.

·       Women will keep their options open when they, deep down, know the man they are with has a shelf-life expiry coming up.

·       A woman is always on the lookout for a man she believes can give her a better life and enhanced happiness.

·       If a woman lies about her relationship status, you can look at it two ways.  If she has a boyfriend but says she has not, this is a good sign to the man pursuing her.  On the other hand, if she does not have a boyfriend but says she has, she naturally has no intention (and usually no attraction, although exceptions exist) to venture on with the pursuing man.

·       Some women, in spite of knowing a “better” man could be within her grasp, may opt to not enter a relationship with him if he is a man who attracts too many other women.

·       If a woman is still dating a man who she holds thoughts in dumping, she will still usually have enough discretion to not talk to other men when he is around.

·       An (unhappy) attached woman will go out of her way to place her existence in the eyes of other men she is attracted to when her current boyfriend will not be within the same environment.

·       If a woman (whether attached or not) is very attracted to a man, but for certain reasons she cannot pursue or chooses not to pursue with him, the vast majority of women in these scenarios will halt going to places where she will see him.

·       In spite of all, it is rare a woman will dump her boyfriend in the December days (or even middle to late November) leading up to Christmas Day.  Most women still have a conscience and a decent heart, assisted with the presents she knows she will receive from a man likely boxing above his weight.


This is all the more reason for nice guys (especially nice guys punching above their weight) to be firmer, more argumentative, and more selfish in order to keep their girlfriends interested and sexually active.  The more time a woman spends with a man, the less she appreciates him.  The more time a man spends with a woman, the more he needs to test her and ensure she never takes him for granted.  This does not, if you haven’t already worked it out, come as the result of being a lapdog and kissing her bum.

Friday 3 December 2021

Rare loyal friendship women


I don’t know anything, but I know people.  And because of that I know everything.”


Many years ago, I published this post about women’s disingenuous friendships.  It may have come across as harsh in a lot of people’s minds, but I stick by it every bit as much, if not more, today.  I don’t make the rules in life, I just simply watch how people act out in devising their own rules.

Nevertheless, to balance things out even on a micro scale, it is fair to say that a minority of women (I’d estimate 20% as a maximum) do go against the grain of this disloyal and self-centred mentality, at least in the whole scheme of things anyway.  I have been involved with more than a few of these, therefore allow me to speak from first-hand experience.

Why did I end up with this minority segment?

So, if as I predict, that women who wouldn’t stab their female friends in the back is less than two in ten, did I coincidentally fall in the arms of this minority female segment? 

First, I would like to think that I’m a decent judge of character with people generally, but in particular with women I hold a sexual attraction to.  Granted, you never truly know a woman until you start to date her and see her regularly, however there are aspects you can pick up on even in the first conversation. 

Second, as I have documented in the past, I have mostly tended to end up with “girl’s girls” (women who prefer to go out with their friends over always having a boyfriend) female characters as opposed to “homely girls” (women who seemingly are never, or rarely, out of a relationship).  Girl’s girls, based on my experience and general observations/evaluations, attain higher standards in men – hence why they are not in relationships as much as their homely girl female counterparts.  If I, at the risk of tooting my own horn, assess myself at the higher end of sought-after males out there, then this would explain a lot to why I end up with them.

Third, I tend to find most women I have romantically been involved with for a medium to lengthy period of time have been clued up enough to be on their best behaviour in order to impress me and get me to stick around.  They will notice my judgmental ways early on.  With all this in mind, even if they perhaps have slipped up on the female friendship loyalty perspective in the past, they will be wise enough to not even allow me a sniff of this misdemeanour. 

Why do most women have little loyalty towards their female friends?

Simply put, a woman fundamentally has three main purposes her life:

1)    To acquire more attention and spotlight onto her life than her female friends.

2)    To feel good about herself and her life.

3)    To find the highest quality man possible to give her the best possible life.

1 and 2, going without saying one could argue, are more fuelled by her own offerings to life than a man in her life per se.  In other words, Instagram pictures of her laughing it up on a night out or sunny holiday with the girls does not require a male presence.  Buying herself a nice handbag or pair of shoes, or visiting the nail/tanning salon, is once more sourced by the motivations of 1 and 2.

Point 3 can only be, naturally, accomplished by the existence of a man.  Finding this man is a harder concept, dependant on each woman’s standards and requirements, but eventually and if single for too long (in particular if all her mates start to have boyfriends), these standards and requirements start to bring about a lower bar.  If she doesn’t bring down this tick list, she runs the risk of waiting too long and then having to lower the bar even further still down the line.

In essence then, there are two opposing forces in life.  On the one hand women are becoming more demanding and expectant, yet on the other hand life is only becoming tougher for young men to provide them with this life.  Accepted, the demands and expectations are largely dictated by a woman’s physical attractiveness level and social class, but it would take someone with their head in the clouds or living in a cave to say the average level of these female wants and needs has not increased year on year for the last two decades at least.

What this all manifests down to is a higher female demand fighting for a lower pool of men who can provide it.  What this further compounds is a higher competitive streak in a woman’s make-up to fight for this small slice of the pie.  If this means trampling over her so called friend/s to achieve this, then so be it.

A final thought

It is important to remember though, that whilst some women are far more loyal to their female friends and are far less likely to trample all over them if it means securing said quality man, that the main reason the <20% of women I referenced above do not make a habit of mate poaching or fighting is derived mainly because of their higher standards in men.  The vast majority of men, to them, aren’t worth fighting over.

It always makes me chuckle when you may hear a woman bemoan that all (or most) of her female friends have a boyfriend, and life just isn’t fair that she can’t locate one.  The better question to put to any of these women looking for self-sympathy would be, hand to heart, does she honestly hold strong desires to be with any of her friend’s boyfriends should her friend not be dating him?  I doubt any of these men would be good enough for her.


Every woman has a price that will break her principles and loyalties.  It’s only the level of price that distinguishes each woman.