Sunday, 18 March 2018

Women just cannot get on together

"Fakeness cannot cloud irritable inner feelings"


If ever you need living proof to illustrate why women are just simply not designed to amicably get on in groups where competition for attention is at stake, just take a look at this:


One is clearly antagonistic towards not being the centre of attention, another likewise but concealing this irritability better, one feeling discomfort but there for the ride, and another really trying to convince the audience (and herself) that she is so so happy to be part of this magical group.

Needless to say, who is the most comfortable, gleeful, relaxed and amicable?  You got it - the centre of attention herself!

By the way, if you listen to the lyrics it yet again smacks out language that doesn't reflect real life in terms of women's emotional habits and deliverables with men. The words would leave the naive bystander (as most people are) to think that a woman is so strong in the face of a man who, in her view, hasn't treated her right, and she has "moved on" so decisively. 

In real life, you will find that when women post messages or verbally broadcast how "over" they are or how much he has lost a prized asset princess, they are in actuality not over him at all. Contrast this to the usual course of events where the woman has dumped a man because she is bored or he no longer has anything left to other her life path - hence with boring nice guys - and I don't see her shouting from the rooftops towards how easily this chapter of her life has been tackled. She will say nothing, as in truth she is totally indifferent towards the man, just like she was indifferent about him in the majority course of the relationship.

So songs like this are reflecting the rare occasions when a woman dated a sought after popular jerk who did treat her badly. They just conveniently don't tell you they go running back to these men, such is the fear of being instead with a mundane beta male that most men are.

As a man, never allow yourself to be washed in by crap within lyrics of this nature. For every case where a woman has been treated badly by a jerk, there will be half a dozen occasions where she manipulated, lied to, and used the perennial nice guy. Leave the washed in brains to the teenage girls, and God help us older women too, who these records are produced to market attract.


Acknowledgements

www.youtube.com

Female age related challenges

"Don't be afraid to be the odd one out.  Often this person is the smartest out there."


Reader Bryce left a comment on the back of this previous post from WCMD:

Hey Vinay,

Long time no hear from, thanks for all the advice you have given. I started a new job a last year so I've been focusing on that mostly.

Are you still doing Q&A? If so, I have a few questions.

1. I find that being a good looking guy at work comes with challenges, such as teammates being mean and trying to make it look bad, managers do this too especially when they are on the younger side. Did you face any of those challenges and how did you overcome them?

It's similar to one of your posts where you mention joining a group but guys don't like the competition.

2. How did you build you apathy that leads to edginess? Basically how to not give a f#ck?

3. Also in your previous posts, you mention that some of the women you dated were very attractive, I interested in learning how to build consistency with higher quality woman. I am 28 years old now, so I don't hang around females who are in their lower 20s as often and not to mention I find them annoying sometimes...probably because I'm getting older. 


My response:

Hi Bryce,

Good to hear from you and hope all is well? Apologies for the late reply. Generally speaking I am working crazy hours which has put the blog to one side. But always happy to help:

1. I have absolutely suffered this scenario on many occasions, especially considering I live in a country like the UK where there is a culture to look after the "Great Underdog" and condemn uniqueness. The best way to overcome this predicament is to not abide by the normal lapdogs in the company, and just be yourself. Go by the "those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind" mentality.  Say this to them if it comes up in conversation, as it will be amazing how quickly they shut up (as ultimately this is you DHV'ing) them. Take any negative comments or body language they project onto you as a true back-handed compliment.

2. I built the "what's the worst that can happen" mindset into me. Obviously going through a number of tough stages in my life enabled easier adaptation to this thought process and execution, but you can do it too.  It's essentially the portray of outcome independence. Who's going to shoot you if you don't abide by what they want? Also, acknowledge that women like men who run with apathy, and see this character as the carrot at the end of the root.

3. If I'm brutally honest, the vast majority of top end quality (which for women is primarily judged by their looks) were, and still are, below the age of 24. I find it difficult to convince women above 23 (and even more so 25 or older) in time constrained moments that I'm anything more than a player. They ultimately assume a guy like me can have any woman he wants, therefore as women aged 24 to 32 are in some place between wanting to settle down with a future husband/father or currently in that position, they will look but not touch guys like me - with isolated exceptions.  This is why the most receptive women to very good looking men are under 24 or over 33. The young girls go with their hearts and sexual impulses, whilst the older women are in boring and unhappy relationships - and looking to cheat. The mid 20s to early 30s females are the most desperate to pin down the man who will marry them, even if this means being indifferent towards him in sexual and impulsive terms.

But this doesn't answer your point directly as much as it breaks down the barriers I perceive you to be encountering. If, as I suspect, you are on the lookout for attractive women In their late 20s, your best bet is to find them via a social (real life, not Internet) network, or less preferably in the workplace. This allows them to see your personality, and a gives them a level of reassurance that you're not just a pump and dump kind of guy. With all this said, I'd still screen for mature minded early 20s girls or women no older than 25 if I was in your position, simply because I can assure you that if you go for a woman same aged or older than you, her looks will dwindle much faster than yours. As much as you may love her as a partner and person, there will be an uncontrollable resentment on both parts in the future. Your resentment will derive from the fact you could have sex with more physically attractive women, and her animosity will manifest because she sees her male partner (you) as the younger looking and more attractive member of the relationship.

Hope this helps.


Vi

Saturday, 15 April 2017

Man too physically blessed to pull women?

"A man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest."
(Simon and Garfunkel: The Boxer)


A reader makes some points based on this previous post from Women’s choices: men’s divorces.

I don't know how I found this blog post, but I have anecdotal evidence that can point to what you said about Man #1.

I'm a 27 year old 6'4" white male with a very athletic physique, broad shoulders with very narrow waist/hips, and have facial aesthetics on par with guys like former Calvin Klein model Fredrik Ljungberg. However, I was a very late bloomer, around early 20s, and prior to that was a very awkward and unattractive teen who didn't get any attention from females. 

I've never in my life had a girlfriend and have a severe struggle with getting one, which I blame on my inexperience with women and their intimidation/insecurity of being with a guy like me. I've tried online dating sites and I almost never get any responses, the ones that do respond generally look for almost any excuse to reject me during our internet conversations. In real life, I have women accuse me of being a player and/or give me an attitude whenever I try to converse with them. However, on the flip side I've had people assume I'm gay simply because I'm chronically single. I do have women in public checking me out but it is generally done when they are in groups, but when they are alone they are more subtle about it. 

So, yes for some men being very attractive can be an issue depending on the type of women you are pursuing.


My response:

Like you, I was a physically late bloomer, so I can relate to how your required confidence levels are perhaps playing catch up. 

Your predicament, if it can be described as that, is something hardly anybody comprehends, because such a tiny percentage (<0.1%) of men encounter it.  Those who are aware of the situation tend to also be liars or/and too proud to face up to the truth and reality.  Nevertheless, what I would always remind anybody like you is that there are so many ways to benefit from being tall, facially good looking, and attain a great physique - in comparison to not having these blessings.  Remember this for as long as you have it, because when you do not receive all this attention, eye contact, intimidation receipt, and rejection from women, it will be the sure sign that your physical decline has commenced.  When that day arrives, I'll bet a pretty penny that you'd wish for the "problems" back. So ultimately, make the most of today.

However, pretty much everything you document is accurate and real.  In simple terms, you are too physically attractive for >99% of women generally, let alone the probable small pool of women you would want to be with.  When I say "too physically attractive", I mean it from the female egoism and trust perspective.  The only way this issue could be eradicated in a switch would be to gain overnight fame and extreme wealth.  On the basis this isn't going to happen, my main advice would be to work on your confidence, give less care to the world and what others think of you, and essentially approach more women.  Take rejection or cold shoulders from women as a compliment, not an insult. 

One final point is your height.  Don't get me wrong, a man being 6ft 4" is way more advantageous than being 5ft 8", and also in relation to 5ft 10", but being as tall as you are, outside of sports stars, is a likely drawback than a blessing.  This is firstly because women will find you even more intimidating than guys of 6ft on the dot, but also even too tall for their natural sexual predilections.

It would be easy to just say that you need to target women around 5ft 10" to 5ft 11" hotties, as they will want men taller than them when in heels, but it also isn't so simple as this. Unless they're just looking for a one night stand or short term fling (which is rare for the most physically attractive women), even tall women as described may only want a man two or three inches taller.  This is because women, in particular women post 23 years of age, are sizing up a man as a future father to their children.  A tall woman being impregnated by a tall man will by no mean coincidence produce a very tall son or daughter.  Whilst it isn't as much of an issue being a very tall man, women (hence: the mothers) deep down know how it is a disadvantage in the romantic world in being a very tall woman.  I don't see many female high jumpers or netball stars with the highest quality men.

So in essence and with this in mind, I would advise you, for the path of least resistance, to target women around 5ft 7" to 5ft 8".  In addition, by and large you will receive more positive engagement when targeting women 23 or younger, because this age group place greater emphasis on male aesthetic value than a need for provisioning and to feel better about themselves (in being with a lesser looking boyfriend), and they are more likely to place their hearts ahead of their ego. By abiding with all this it should, in my view, give you the greatest chance of openings and success.


One final point is female screening - in optimizing the positive receptiveness when approaching women you are interested in.  Within time constrained moments this task is not easy, therefore if in bars or walking down the street, I would just pro-act without thought in asking first and not worrying about the permutations.  However, with greater experience acquired and thorough observation of female character and habits, you will pick up tell tale signs from the body language and social belongings of women.  

So if there is a solid hot girl (say 8.5/10) who you have previously seen alongside a couple of considerably lesser looking (anything from 6.5/10 to 7.5/10) boyfriends, the chances are she wouldn't date or sleep with you even if hell froze over.  There is no way her big ego, low confidence and high insecurity would allow her to do so.  But on the flip side, if you sense a cutie, or even a hot girl, give you a genuine, non-antagonistic and amiable eye, there is a much stronger possibility that she is open to take things further.  

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Women's selection motivations

"From near or afar, the answers are only clear once you take a step back."


Reader Bryce asks for some of my knowledge on the following topic:

Hi Vinay,

I have a couple more questions, I've been away in foreign countries and greeted well by the women there, some even asked if I'm a athlete haha.

One good looking guy problem I've always noticed is being "used" for validation. For example, a women may talk to you to impress their friends or ask for a date themselves so that they can say they went on a date with you with no intention of moving things further. Ever experienced this? I'm usually annoyed when this happen.

Another one is women creating (relationship) drama with your name in organizations such as school and work. Again, I think this is validation related, where their girlfriends see them having drama with an attractive guy, these girls are average at most in terms of looks. Keep in mind I try not to feed into it, but they will tell their friends lies about me asking them out and usually it's they that have been trying to date me and I respectfully declined only to be met with female harassment and a ruined reputation :(

Anyways, curious if you have any insights on this. I feel like people don't realize that the attention that attractive guys get is sometimes unwanted and they have the option to decline. Women think if they show interest you must follow through, you don't have a choice... basically like an object. 


My response:

Whenever you consider the subject of female selectivity in terms of the man they (rarely) pursue or (mostly) consider taking up adventures with, whether this consideration is for a one night stand, a short term fling, an indefinite timescale relationship, or even marriage and kids, you will almost always need to concede that a woman's primary thought is based upon how it can benefit her externally judged self-value and economical self-interest. 

If she chooses the one night stand or short term fling, her first thought will, by and large, be based upon desires for her social network "followers" or close friends to know she is appealing to the world.  "This guy found me irresistible", she so says in silence and hopes everyone thinks.  The secondary motivation to this short term mentality, and I'll reiterate secondary, is satisfying her heart and sexual orgasmic enrichment.  Even in the modern world where women have become more promiscuous and sexually liberated in comparison to generations gone by, it is still important to remember that only a very small minority (I'd estimate fewer than 10%) of the female sexually active population proactively go into one nighters or conscious knowledge of only a few weeks of sex.  Their prides are too fragile to come across as cheap, and ultimately they know that too much of this lifestyle will detract future worthwhile male candidates to take them on as girlfriend or wife material.  This is all the more pertinent with women as they move up the hotness scale.  In other words, the hotter the girl, the less sexually easy, generally speaking, she is.

With longer term thoughts - long term relationships and marriage thought process - a woman will pick out men who can give her the best profile and financially appealing life.  This is most relevant to women post 23 years of age, and even more so between the female ages of 25 to 28.  So a woman will compromise heavily on what makes her heart tick and knickers wet, in return of a lesser looking but higher status and wealthier man who can provide the biggest house in an affluent location, the most expensive car she can drive, the best holidays to put on her social media pages, and kids kitted out in clothes at a school that stands out in relativity to her so called other female friends. 

To Bryce's first point.... He is absolutely on the money about some women using the most physically attractive men as a source of validation and exposure to impress her onlookers.  Again, I would still say this is a minority of women, and it is far more prevalent to women under the age of 24.  Strangely you may see women go through this trend once more around the mid 30's, with a far less frequent female demographic of say aged 25 to 32 - hence the heavy stage for women to seek out "the one" - taking on men who only make them look more important and valuable. 

I always recall a few years ago on a night out when a woman (a few days before her 25th birthday) made her friend approach me and ask my opinion on what I thought of her.  Her friend had said how fit she (the woman pursuing me) thought I was.  She was a cute 7/10, nothing special but fuckable, but as I was single at the time it was more than worth me approaching her to take things on that bit further.  Even as the night went on, I sensed her enthusiasm diminishing.  We went out the following Friday, and there wasn't much chemistry on her part at all, or mine either to be be fair.  Nevertheless, I would still have indifferently seen where it could take us.  I barely heard from her again, absent of a few texts to most likely ramp up her good inner feeling.  About a year later on another night out, she came up to me in front of her friends.  I was far wiser to the event this time, pretty much talking to her whilst concurrently checking hotter women out.  She ended up marrying a man of total average (6/10) looks, and they have since had at least one child.

In terms of the drama thing, again this is a by-product of all women requiring a level of intensity, dramatic happenings, and attention that shows the flame is still burning in their life.  How many women, even newly married women, do you meet who come across as just more than happy to describe a low-profile and enjoyable (but none drama contained) weekend when in discussion with her other female friends?  Not many I would guess.  So yes, I agree that using a good looking man for extra drama is more than a possible occurrence, however what I would say is drama-seeking girls will more likely go for jerks or/and local well-known men (think of DJ's, club promoters, gym instructors, city centre bartenders, etc).  As, in my view <1% of men are truly from a stand out aesthetically blessed stature - hence facially good looking, impressive body, 6ft to 6ft 2" height - the chances are that not many of these jerks or popular men are also top end physically attractive men.  So in essence, what I'm saying is women, especially under the age of 24, will seek out drama and self-importance more from this kind of man than a very good looking man.

Q-tip:
All women want and need drama in their lives.  It's just finding out the level of drama they require in determining whether they are worth long term consideration or placement in a compartment as pump and dump material only.

In summary to the final point made, you have to acknowledge that, in a world where >95% of men are average looking, at least this same percentage of women will end up with an average looking man.  Sounds obvious, but it needs illustrating to make sense of the next point.  A rare man who sits at the top end of male physical good looks is going to stand out like a sore thumb to all these women who are with mediocre looking men, and because of their boredom with looking at their uninspiring man day in day out, human instinct dictates that they will, at the very least, take a look at the very good looking man they are not accustomed to see very often.  A tiny percentage of them will try and take it further, but most will not take the risk of losing out on everything they have just for a bit of fresher and intense sexual stimulation.  But as the man receiving these bed eyes, especially if he is single, the natural response is to interact if you find her bangable.  At the end of the day, it is attaining the ability to distinguish between female and male motivations and agendas when they look at the opposite sex.

Saturday, 21 January 2017

Marriage thoughts


"A person with more friends than fingers is a fool."


Reader Danny asks for my thoughts on marriage:

Vinay

One other great post indeed:) 

By the way..wanted to ask you?
If you'd get married...what woman you'd chose?..a 10?.. 8?..since beauty is such a transitory factor for a woman before she gets fat?..
I wonder...
Kiss,mate!
Danny boy:)


My response:

You can never say never in life, but knowing myself better than anyone else comes close to, and in comprehension to the life knowledge I've acquired and understanding of women that has developed over the years, I couldn't see myself marrying anything less than a 7.5/10 looks rated woman.  This woman referenced would need to possess an excellent personality and be very enjoyable company that outweighs the enrichment of an independent life.  In addition to this, she would also have to be somewhere near to my own level of financial assets, or come from a wealthy background that could contribute to our common objectives.  If I sensed for a split second that compromise and empathy were not part of her character vocabulary, she wouldn't last beyond her sexual use to me.

Female physical attractiveness, in men's eyes, gives women more leeway with male demands.  I'm no different.  This isn't, very often, the same case in the gender inverse perspective.  A man's good looks (or better looks in comparison to a lesser looking man from the woman's past) will rarely shorten the list or intensity of a woman's demands for long term consideration.  What good male looks do give men is more opportunity for short term flings and one night stands.

To explain further, if the woman was an 8/10, I wouldn't be as particular about her non-visual attributes in relation to the 7.5/10 woman.  This is mainly in thought to a non-marital relationship.  Likewise, a 8.5/10 woman would receive more leeway than the 8/10 woman, and again a 9/10 woman receives more leeway further still.  But to reiterate, this is out of wedlock consideration.

The reason I stress that this process only follows as a boyfriend and not a husband is because, as Danny strongly alludes to, a woman's peak beauty period is short lived.  Marriage only compounds this sad but true case of events, because the majority of women rapidly become more unattractive once married.  General observation is all you need to back this up.  Why?  Well most women have achieved their life dream once the ring is on the finger and the big wedding day is over, and they have little concern (although they will have firm knowledge) to the primary reason her now husband proposed to her - based on her looks.  Whereas once the cakes and fast food were resisted, and gym visits were more frequent, post marriage leads her to the opposite lifestyle pattern.  If a woman does keep up her good habits post marriage, it is either (less so) because she deeply loves and respects her husband and knows he may stray if she doesn't keep up her appearance, or (more so) due to still being on the lookout for a better male alternative. 

Kids, usually a by-product of marriage despite many women in this day and age giving birth prior so, physically deteriorate both women and men.  There is no getting away from this unfriendly fact.  Not only do the little sods give parents half the amount of sleep than the single or dating life offered, but the sheer stress of financial burden that children manifest plays on a human's mind both day and night.  I'm not a parent, but any honest parent would admit this is the case.  But as time is a more vicious and unforgiving circumstance to a woman's face and body than to a man's equivalence, the parenthood role plays a more strenuous picture, although perhaps not mind, on her than him. 

Now add on the unproven but natural consequence of marriage making women less charming and appreciative.  Prior to marriage, women have a far greater motivation to act friendly, receptive and gratifying in order to secure the sucker who will take her down the aisle.  Afterwards, poof, the slippery slide will start.  Once a woman has a grip on a man's future, she has far less inclination to be nice and accommodating.  And her demands only become stronger as each day ticks by, probably until the point (around late 30's to early 40's) where she knows very few men will marry her again.  Some of the friendliest women are in their late 30's and early 40's, but these are mainly divorcees on the lookout for a new man.  They have regained the necessity to be charming once more. 

So in essence, the moral of all this is not to get married unless you, by magic, land on a female dime that is as rare as rocking horse shit.  Another argument could be if you came into a fortune, but even then be prepared to lose a good chunk of this later down the line.  Marrying a richer woman than you is also a fair justification, although these women are seldom the best lookers.

I often view marriage, or the relationship with the woman a man marries, as a 10% happiness life span.  If the rough survival rate is around 85, at best you will have 8 years of unbelievable happiness that exceeds the single life.  Much of this 8 years will be pre-marriage rather than post wedding day.  I'm a big statistic and percentage kind of guy, and for me, 10% is not long or great enough to compensate for the other 90% of indifference or misery.

My step-sister gets married this late summer.  I'll keep my mouth shut on the day, but make no mistake that I have no problem telling people what I think on this subject.  The only exception is in the early days when a cute or hot woman comes into my life.  If they don't ask, I don't tell....      

  

Saturday, 14 January 2017

Cute women and hot women distinctions

"All you need in life is hope, happiness, and security."


A reader asks the following:

Hi Vinay, nice post. Can you explain the difference between hot woman and cute woman?


My response:

The separation between a cute woman and a hot woman in the sexual market is perhaps the most challenging out there when analyzing differences in gender physicality and character.  Bitches can be removed from sweet girls (although this doesn't necessarily mean a sweet girl will be any more resistant to leave once she finds a better option).  Bad boys and nice guys can be categorized without too much difficulty.  An intelligent woman stands out like a sore thumb against the hoards of dumb women.  And, despite what their respective girlfriends try to convince otherwise, an average to above average looking man is a stand-out physical downgrade to a good looking man (considering all of facial features, body profile, and height).

For me, a cute woman sits at a physical attractiveness grade ranging from 7/10 to 7.75/10.  You will see hundreds of them, even thousands, in the course of a year.  A hot woman takes over at 8/10 onwards.  You will see half a dozen to a dozen lower end hot girls of 8/10 to 8.25/10 in your average week, depending on how much you get out the house of course.  Medium hot girls of 8.5/10 to 8.75/10 will be much rarer, and perhaps observed about a dozen times in a year - and that's being very optimistic.  As for anyone with realistic standards and truthful judgment, 9/10 or greater women in looks terms are seen a couple of times annually in real life, or on wholesale occasions in magazines, on TV, or internet browsing.

But people are very sensitive when judging other's physical attractiveness levels.  Often this is because of attainability factors.  A woman will usually leverage her rating of a man who isn't as eye catching as her, and she will likewise deleverage her rating of a man who is as or more aesthetically blessed than her in gender relative terms.  As for men, their voices on this subject are different but similar in the same breath.  Most men will still say a woman is hot even if she is well out of his grasp.  Why?  Men don't have the big egos, insecurities and fragile prides that women possess.  However, what men will do is push up the level of a woman he is in a relationship with, or even someone he has is eye on, despite her being overweight, uglier, saggier or older than he would choose with a carte blanche of options.

Sometimes pictures spell out more on the distinction of female cuteness and hotness:



The two blondies above are cute women in any truthful man's eyes.  For me, they are both 7.25/10, and on a good day you could push me to 7.5/10.  Now of course, to many men these women would be classed as hot, but this is because both of them are out of most men's leagues in visual respects.  Nevertheless, most women who look like these two are with just run of the mill men - average looking, decent but not spectacular professions, and nothing to write home about in style, personality or charisma terms.




These two women on the other hand are hot.  Again, I'd go 8.75/10, but I wouldn't put up much resistance for a 9/10 grade.  At their peak (and this peak is nothing more than a few years for women), these kinds of women are seen with professional sports stars or celebrities of some kind.  This far from means every woman who looks like these two are with a top end famous man, because there are hundreds of women who look like them for every one man I refer to.  Most of these women end up with older or/and above average looking men, who belong to the top 1% pay scales. 


Non-visual considerations

Just as important to consider for men is how to approach the mentality of both cute and hot women.  By clear majority, female physical allure aligns with female character. 

Cute women, by and large, are friendlier, more approachable, not so prone to take themselves seriously, and better company.  They aren't always worrying about how the outside world perceives or judges them, because although still hounded by the mediocre male population, deep down they know there are many more beautiful women out there.  They haven't been necessitated to rely on, or had the luxury of relying,  solely on their looks for a free handout.  Although social media - through female "friendship" compliments and male supplication - has elevated a woman's self-opinion above the objective mirror reflection, they are still realistic enough to know they cannot compete with their hotter counterparts.  This, generally, makes them less expectant and more forthcoming in what the real world is about. 

Hot women take on a far more serious demeanour.  Unless found in girl party nights out in attempts to convince the watching public life is so much fun, they are easy to detect low confidence and high insecurity traits when alone.  Looking down at a phone is the most common trick to conceal this weakness, but also look out for quick strides, no eye contact with anyone, or a basic inability to just relax and enjoy life.  If you ever find a hot women who does the opposite to all the aforementioned, and actually has a bright outlook on life, you may as well be looking at a unicorn.  No, they do exist as I've had the pleasure of intimately knowing a few, but make no mistake that they are incredibly rare.  And when not done up to look their best, they can be the hardest to deal with.

This, as a summary, leads it conveniently onto how men should assess cute and hot women prior to cold approach interaction. 

All else equal, a cute woman will not entertain dating ugly men, unless she attains an almighty high ego and is in need for uninterrupted attention and love.  She will know no other woman wants him.  Needless to say, in the absence of high status or earnings, no hot woman wants to be seen within fifty yards of an ugly man.  She has her reputation to think of. 

A cute woman, like the two shown above, will usually be seen with average looking men of 6/10 to 7/10 in looks aspects.  Again, I reiterate the all else equal phrase.  This is why any Average Joe really should be aware that there is so much opportunity for him to grade up to a cute woman.  Cute women have ego led, if not heart and sexual impulses, inclinations to be drawn to men who are that full grade lower them in visual blessings. 

A hot woman, like the two shown above, are commonplace alongside above average looking men of 7.25/10 to 7.75/10.  It runs in parallel with the cute girl explanation. The female mind uncontrollably strays towards men they are not repulsed with, but equally men who are less physically attractive.  The big difference between a hot woman against a cute woman is that the former place far higher hoops to jump over with regards to male status and wealth requirements.  However, there are still more hot women than very high status or rich men, therefore a surplus of them have no choice but to settle for "Mr Nearly Right".


This is why men, as has been said before on this blog, should never think they need to go the extra yard to please women.  The right attitude, confidence and knowledge is a far greater tool kit.  Men can get carried away by only seeing a few cute and hot women, so they form an automated mindset to believe that if they get that one chance, they need to act like she is the only girl in the world.  It's not until you actually travel a bit, open your eyes, and realize there are a good number of them who far outweigh the quantities of men you think they are with.  Not every man is a pop star or millionaire.  Keep that thought in the front end of your mind next time you think she is too good for you.

Friday, 30 December 2016

What good guys should learn about girls who date jerks

"If you can't change for the better, don't change at all.”


Before I get into the nitty gritty of this post, take a look at the video link from the recent Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Cabello song.  It is another case of a visual and verbal script that allows girls, young women, and god forbid older women post 25 years of age, to substantiate that when they fall for dense, low-life and loser jerks, it just cannot be explained and consequently all should be forgiven.  It’s just too complicated to explain, so says the song, and at the end of the day it can't be her fault…  Strangely, if a man falls for a hot bitch who treats him like dog poo, this is all down to stupidity and the brain ruled by his dick.  You just can't beat life's hypocrisy, can you?


In terms of the story within the video, it is very much in line with what I see on rare occasions.  The rarity has to be stressed, because although there is a much higher percentage of women who would like to date a jerk than women who would admit to this predicament, the simple reality is there are not even close to enough jerks out there to satisfy all these female seekers.  This is why so many women settle for boring nice guys who they don't truly want to be with. 

Although American readers of this blog will be far more qualified than me in commenting on the relationship dynamic seen in the video, based on observations from my visits over the pond it isn't uncommon to see a Latin American cute chick with a white jerk looking guy sporting numerous tattoos.  I guess it is all part of the revolt mentality that goes through the girl's little head of hers.  That is, not only does she want the danger and excitement of the bad boy, but she also wants the attention, challenge, and motivation deriving from the thought of pissing her parents and community off by dating outside her race.     


The numbers analysis

Many naive men (as the majority of men are naive in emotional terms and in understanding women) can be brainwashed by female conversation that most men are jerks and don't treat women the way they truly deserved to be looked after.  Any man believing these words based on agenda, convenience and bullshit will never have an ounce of success going forward.

The easiest way to establish how many jerks there are in the male society is to take a step back and think of 100 random men you know in your direct, or even indirect, weekly interactions.  How many of them would you class as jerks, whether this is based on perception, anecdotal reasoning, or facts?  What number do you think treat women like crap?  If answered honestly, I doubt this would be more than 10 of them.  If I'm right on this, and I'm pretty sure I am, this would mean that 9 out of 10 men are not jerks.  In fact, a good number of the remaining 90 men would be weak, nodding dog orientated nice guys.  This is why you should always take a woman claiming she has such bad luck with men, and who always ends up being treated badly, with a pinch of salt.  The reality, for reasons that have been explained before, is that she is seeking out this minority of male reputation, profile and character.  At the end of the day, it is her choice.  Pity her, and don't feel sorry for or rescue her. 


Can good guys date women who have dated jerks?

As a self-proclaimed good guy, the simple answer is yes, but tread carefully.  Women who have a history of dating jerks are notorious for being extreme drama-hunting (due to the danger that she can broadcast in a few thousand words to her friends) and attention-seeking (a by-product of the drama to show off her importance to the world) people.  I stress the word extreme, because in the day and age of social media et al, nearly all women of all beauty and ages, at least in the western world, have an element of dramatic and attention requirement traits.  But fortunately a decent percentage of them do see the sense before it is too late, and they keep these negatives in moderation. 

Women who have frequently dated widely sought after jerks are often hot, but not always.  The highest number of them will be cute (7/10 to 7.75/10), and this is down to 4 main reasons:
  • Cute women outweigh hot women by at least 10 to 1, therefore the sheer numbers alone manifest to produce a higher number of cute women with jerks than hot women. 
  • Hot women, and especially extreme hot women (>8.5/10) or hot women from more affluent backgrounds, will have a stronger tendency to sway towards higher status (both occupational and social status) and rich men.  Although the largest proportion of these men are older, much lesser looking, and perhaps overweight, some of this male compartment will be younger lookers too.  It's no coincidence that professional sports stars are nearly always seen with women of 8.5/10 or greater in physical attractiveness terms.
  • Cute women often feel a greater need to be a follower, whereas although not necessarily any more confident internally, hot women can portray an external front to be more independent.  This means that a cute woman will cling to a leader - the jerk - who takes her through the muddy waters more than a hot woman would be inclined to do so. 
  • Hot women have bigger egos and more fragile prides than cute women, therefore they don't take kindly to people thinking a man would treat them badly.  With this possibility in mind, her sexual impulses won't be dragged towards the jerk as easily as the cute woman can be hypnotized.   

So as a good guy, my recommendation would be to use the woman who has dated jerks as if you are a jerk too.  This isn't to mean you should totally change your character into a jerk, but it would be prudent to care little to the consequences and make your life the priority.  She can fit in to suit you.  In the bizarre way female emotional psychology works, contrary to them verbalizing that they love a man to worship the ground they walk on and prioritize them, you will find she is forever running back for more.

In fact, this approach would produce even greater benefits than being an extreme jerk.  Because although a woman who has a string of jerk history will never lose this mindset in fantasy terms, her age does convince the mind that continuing with the jerk process will only ever have a sad ending.  Either he dumps her due to a better option, or she dumps him as the once excitement has diminished and he has nothing left to offer her life goals.  So a more genuine and responsible, but equally edgy, man will reap these rewards brought about from her past poor choices.

What I would also add is to not give more than what the jerks gave to her in the past.  If she gave her heart, body and soul to men who gave little exertion in return, why should you be the one to supply the endeavour, time and money that they weren't prepared to expend.  Don't be the sucker to be drawn in by her words of "I've come to my senses and now need a man to treat me well."  This is as good as her saying she gave the jerks everything for nothing, and now she will only give it all (and probably less) providing the new man gives far more in justifying her company.  Leave these unproductive and white knight efforts to the clueless nice guys.


A final thought

Only a couple of days ago I was in a car parts retailer in Nottingham, when I saw a cute girl of 7.5/10 standing just inside the entrance foyer.  She was kitted up on a cold day with tight jeans, tidy shoes, and an impressive coat.  Long straight brown hair accompanied a natural pretty face.  A young man alongside her was wearing a tracksuit, and he was average looking at best.  His mate, of similar age and chavvy dress style, was shouting off at the member of staff about wanting a stereo or something replaced.  The assumed boyfriend kept a bit quieter, but still gave his two pennies from his thick, unintelligent voice.  She said something to them in slight criticism manner, not in as common an accent, but still enough for me know she wasn't from the best part of Nottingham.  I can remember shaking my head at her when she looked at me, as if to let her know she could do so much better. 

But some women never learn, or they learn too late.  They either settle down with a jerk because they know nothing else, or they date jerks beyond their female peak beauty.  By then, even fewer unwanted nice guys will be holding out the hand of saviour, let alone quality men some of these women could have actually attracted years before.



Acknowledgements

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpbQ4I3Eidg