Women papering over the cracks of a broken heart

 

“Getting over someone or something cannot be conquered by a weak substitute.” 

 

If ever you desire to analyse the emotional cycle path of a high celebrity woman, and in turn relate it to the way a woman you know or are attracted to emotes in the same way (no amount of fame or money changes the fundamentals of the female emotional mind and heart), you will not get much closer than the British singer, Cheryl Tweedy.  I am not too sure how well she is known across the shores beyond the United Kingdom, but irrespective, the purpose of this post remains the same.

When I came across this article not long ago, it did not derive as any great surprise in what was documented.  Granted, the reports are not from the horse’s mouth so to speak (although I am sure she has said such things herself in past interviews), but to hear that Cheryl has never fully recovered from losing her first husband in former England footballer, Ashley Cole, was nothing more than what seemed obvious when they were together, and post separation. 

The first sign of a woman’s unconditional love

I remember watching them on a TV program a year before they got married.  They were being interviewed in a taxi on route to some engagement, when Cheryl asked her husband to be whether he was looking forward to it.  His prompt response of “Not really”, followed by her appeasing reaction, showed me two things within a relationship:

1)    He is in control of his own state of mind, and most likely also in full control of his female partner, in not caring what she thinks of his feelings.  He was by no means a jerk when he said it, but he simply knows who he is, and where she fits in.

2)    She held immediate concern to his comfort levels.  She did not get the mood on for him saying something she did not want to hear, and instead, and as was proven when the two of them arrived, she kept looking at him for reassurance that he is at least partly enjoying himself.

Compare this to most relationships of today:

1)    Most men are not in control of their own state of mind, and not at all in control of their female partners.  The majority of men are passive in trying to fit in with the life requirements of their girlfriends or wives, no matter how much they are not comfortable with such things.

2)    Most women do not give a crap about their male partners’ feelings, as long as he accommodates her demands, requirements, and expectations.  You will not find many women looking for the approval of their man.

Q-tip:                                                                                                                                        The happiest and most successful relationships are a by-product of a man who makes the key decisions, and a woman who is appeasing and zealous to see him happy.  When the inverse applies – woman dictating the relationship, and man fitting in to her life – both parties end up unhappy.  A balance should always be struck, but the heavy weight needs to be scaled towards the former dynamic.

Further proof of her need to keep him

As the article documented, there were frequent reports that Ashley cheated on Cheryl during the course of their four year marriage.  Whilst he denied all this, if I were a betting man, I would place a bet on him doing this on more than a couple of occasions.  I guess he was just never caught by his wife, or her spies. 

Nevertheless, and on the basis of whether he did deny or confess to her, the facts remained that Cheryl either turned a blind eye to it, or she forgave stayed with him.  The proof is in the outcome, and the outcome was that she stayed put.

Because, whilst I appreciate a lot of women in the ‘real world’ do stay with cheating men, part of this reasoning is because of the implications they see ahead of them.  A lot of these women have children and a lack of financial independence to consider, therefore remaining where they are may appear like the only option.

This cannot be said for Cheryl Tweedy, or Cheryl Cole as she was then.  She had more money than she could spend in a lifetime.  She had no children to consider.  She attained options with thousands of other sought-after men.  With all this considered, she obviously stayed with Ashley through unconditional love.

Post separation papering of the broken heart

A few years later, Cheryl went onto marry a French restaurateur.  They married after three months of dating.  If this is not irrational decision making, then I have no idea what is.  No surprise that less than a couple of years from the wedding day, the two were to be divorced (which in timeframes, most likely meant they were together for little over a year).

I would make a strong prediction that she thought someone like him could finally cure her broken heart from Cole.  On paper, you could make a compelling argument that she had found a more physically attractive man than her ex, and in this case, she could throw the middle finger up to Cole.  In reality however, she was likely acting on a bluff and with wishful thinking that they would live happily ever after, even though they barely knew each other.

Then not long after the split from her second husband, she entered into another high profile relationship with One Direction member, Liam Payne.  Whilst having a kid together represents a little bit more than a simple case of a celebrity relationship just for the papers and to stay in the public eye, the fact they split up soon after the birth of their child once more illustrates that the bond was never born out of pure, simple, and natural love.

Side note

As I have written about this subject numerous times on this blog, it is no coincidence that, as Cheryl crept towards her mid-thirties, she oh so coincidently (I say with sarcasm) ended up with a man ten years her junior in Liam Payne.  This previous post fully outlines the motivations to why women choose this path, and it is most prominent with women in their late twenties to mid-thirties. 

The main reason behind this is most definitely not because she suddenly finds younger men more physically attractive than men her own age or older.  The primary reason is to ease the nagging feeling of getting older in comparison to her younger and hotter female counterparts, therefore, to mitigate this irritable feeling, she starts screening for younger men.

Cheryl most likely epitomises this cycle that many women – especially women who are from the higher scale of female physical attractiveness – proceed with.  Once more though, if she acts with her ego and need to feel better about life, as opposed to what she naturally emotes and feels, it will come back to haunt her sooner rather than later.

A final thought

If you are a man entering into a new relationship with a woman, it is not a bad idea to hold some comprehension to whether she still carries a torch for an ex-lover.  Although, absent of a crystal ball, you will never fully now what happened in the past and how she feels about him now, there are signs you can look out for which determine whether she has moved on, or not.

·       Does she mention him much?  If in nothing more than related passing conversation, this is not necessarily a dreadful thing and there should not be much to worry about.

·       If she appears to mention him at any given opportunity or with no relevance to the topic at hand, this is more of a concern.  It could be that she is just looking to get you jealous (which is usually a good sign that she likes you) or seeking a dose of self-importance (which most women do, so again, not too much to fret over other than her just pissing you off), however keep an eye on this situation.

·       If she mentions him with an indifferent or apathetic demeanour, it most probably signals she has no interest in him for the present or future.  She has moved on.

·       If she mentions him and you notice a tear in her eye or a lump in her throat, the likelihood is she is not over him.

·       If she talks about him in a neutral or complimentary manner, as illogical as this may sound, the probability is that she harbours no ambitions to intimately being involved with him again.

·       On the other hand, if she mentions him in a more negative or slagging off way, this could mean she has not yet got over him.  Much depends on the content of the negativity.

·       Does she still socialize in circles where he will be present?  If so, this is negative on two fronts.  One, it can mean that she still wants to collide with him.  Two, and worse still, she clearly does not give a shit about your feelings or concerns.

·       Similar to the above, is she still in some kind of contact with him?  There is no need whatsoever for a woman, once she starts dating a new man, to stay connected with her ex.

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                                     The only way to counteract a woman who still appears into an ex is based on two approaches.  First, you politely tell her that you would never even contemplate being with a woman who is still in touch or into her ex.  Second, you play fire with fire.  For every time she mentions an ex moment, you replicate this with a story of an ex of your own.  If she implies that a man (whether her ex or someone else) appears into her, you mirror this with a similar scenario from your own life.  As immature as this approach may seem, often winning the jealousy and psychological battle with a woman is the only way you will win the war.

How much do women assess men’s height?

 

“One set of eyes projecting in reality is worth a dozen sets seeing through lies.”

 

On the back of this post written along time ago, this post written not long after, and this post not long after that, I had a quick chuckle to myself when reading the following article I came across.

Here are the two pictures that the narrator refers to, with associated commentary he documents:

Garfield is a strong 5′10″ (179 cm), while Pattison is a weak 6′1″.

This is exactly what a solid two inches of a difference looks like. 

You can tell Pattison is taller…but only slightly taller and it’ll be visible only if they’re standing directly next to each other.

In photos in which perspective is shifted due to the stance…you’d never be able to tell:

My thoughts…

My intention as I write is to not articulate too much on this subject, as the linked three posts above, added to a decent amount of other literature belonging to male height embodied in other posts on this blog, should give you all a full insight into my thoughts regarding male height, and the associated attraction viewed upon by women.

Nevertheless, I want to pinpoint three key items that, with particular advice aimed towards shorter (or equally, men who would like to be taller - which applies to most of us) men, are ways to compensate this shortcoming (no pun intended).

·       Strong posture will, at the very least, maximise the height you attain.  A man of any height should not slouch, but this error is all the more detrimental to shorter men.

·       Hair style which makes you look taller.  If you can style in a way like Garfield does in this picture, then use it to your advantage.

·       Shoes/Trainers with height leverage is also only going to bring about positive eyes from women.  Sure, she will eventually see you without this aid, however the immediate attraction is what opens doors.

The responses via commenters brought about, as you would expect, are anything ranging from honest words to total delusion/words to make people feel better about themselves/lies, with everything in between.  By now, based on your life experience, human observation, and study of emotional psychology, you can gain a good knowledge of a person just from a comment like this alone.

I picked out a couple of comments which I thought were worth taking a deeper dive on.  I am not doing to dig them out as such, but just ad lib on the theme.

One commenter (a man, I think) mentioned that for height to be a relevant comparison, the two men need to be stood next to each other in the kitchen, hence with no shoes on, to see where each one is situated in height terms.

Whilst this commenter is correct as far as a comparison, I go back to my point above that, whilst eventually a women will see a man’s true height, this will nearly always be after the three factors I highlighted which will ignite her eyes onto him.  With this in mind, it can be argued that by ticking these three boxes, accepting if feasibility allows on the hair, it is more important than your height per se.

Q-tip 1:                                                                                                                                    Utilize the aspects in life that are within your control, and do not dwell on or resent the things out of your control.

Another commenter (quite obviously a woman) made some resentful and bitter comment along the lines of – “Here we go again about men’s height.  His personality and face are much more important…”

Part of what she says is true, but it is clearly someone who is not comfortable with this topic.  She is right in so far that a facially gifted short man is more physically attractive than a tall ugly man, but this is using extremes as a way of comparison.

If I were a betting man, I would say this woman has a boyfriend who is easy to the eye in facial (and probably body profile) features, but who is on the shorter side of average. 

Women like her are rare in the whole scheme of things (rare, because most women do not predilect to be with a man who is facially good looking, irrespective of his height), however I can think of more than a few like her on recollection.  With this said, do not be fooled into thinking you will find many women out there like her.  The vast majority of women will always seek out an average/above average looking taller man, over and above a facially attractive but shorter man.

I tend to think women like her have a mindset which is a bit like how most women act – opting for lesser looking men, but men with high earnings/high social status, in order to elevate his and her importance through the latter aspect – but in a different route. 

What a woman like her desires to do is to have a way to show off to her friends that she belongs to a good looking man, but she is not confident enough to be with a man at the top end of male physical attractiveness (hence, a man with good face, admirable body profile, and height).  In other words, she does not want to be with a man who attracts inundated amounts of other women.

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                              Women are constantly fighting out a need to feel important, concurrent to a need to not feel inferior.

Acknowledgements

www.quora.com

Sexual grooming is a by-product of mental dysfunction

 

                            “The need for attention is an addiction that is hard to let go of.                                 Once you feed the beast to an apparent requirement, it will always ask for more.”

  

This post is to be primarily read with a condemning mindset.  No man, or woman, should be forgiven for any act of child sexual grooming.  I do not care if said adult possesses so called mental health issues (we live in a world where the mental health reasoning has been taken too far, and often to a lie), because in my book this is no excuse whatsoever. 

Nevertheless, this should also be read with comprehension to why child grooming, and worse still if it borders into sexual activity, fundamentally happens.  You may find that the average person on the street gives you a muddled up bullshit (or at least poor or inaccurate) reason.  A psychologist, for all his or her educational qualifications and intelligence, will often give theoretical analysis, which is either too complex to logically understand, or they will hide behind some level of political correctness. On this blog, you will simply get the truth and real grounds.

A past recollection

I recall a time dancing (if you can call it that!) in a small nightclub which consisted of mainly young adults (aged 18 to 21), with a smaller section of those in their mid-twenties.  I belonged to the latter group.  A young woman came up to me around 1am, and I immediately remembered working with her mother at the same company not long previous.  The daughter who approached me could not have been past her teenage years.

She started flirting with me, and I managed to deflect her attention for a while.  She was fit (7.75/10), but I certainly was not into her enough with especial consideration to the knowledge of who her mum was.  Too must hassle for not enough gain…

A few minutes later, there appeared a quite tall and leggy blonde woman (8/10) stood right next to me.  She was about 22 or 23.  I caught her looking at me, and I would hedge a fair bet that her interest was compounded by who she had just seen me talking to.

I cannot quite remember what the start of the conversation we had was, but what I can recollect is her immediate endeavour to contrive the conversation onto herself with regards to how she was being bombarded with students at the school she tutored at who were also in that same nightclub.  At the time (as this was before I consciously studied the psycho-emotional makeup of women) I passed this off as nothing more than amusement, and that she was just making conversation.

In retrospect, she loved the attention and ego boost these younger men were most likely giving her.  I can only assume that all the students were at least sixteen, and most likely nearer eighteen.

The next day, I messaged her.  She asked if I was around the during the coming weekend.  When I suggested we connected on Facebook, it showed ‘In a Relationship’ and with photos of her boyfriend.  I never messaged her again.

When I looked closer on her social media page, everything gave off smacks of a symbolic attention seeker.  There were even messages from some of the students at her school.  Not breaking the law, but I can only assume however, it was another case of a woman in need of feeling better about herself.

Women grooming male minors

This recent story tells you everything you need to know in terms of why women make the foolish decision to act upon male grooming.  This previous post illustrates a robust explanation to the motivations behind why a woman would go for a younger man generally.

The woman in this article attached is (or was), with no great surprise, also a schoolteacher.  She stated in her defence that a recent breakup caused her to be lonely and seek attention.  Luckily, nobody fell for this as a valid vindication.

Not only did she try it out with one underaged boy, but she did it again.  In another journal I read, she claims (or her lawyer claimed) there was a level of legality to her actions due to one of the boy’s age, and her no longer being a teacher at that time.  This article does not state any kind of age justification.

In any case, the whole fiasco just epitomises and explicates the primary, and somewhat only, reason behind why a woman proceeds in male grooming.  In simplistic terms, it is for attention and an ego boost.

Men grooming female minors

As someone who has worked in secondary schools for the last three months, and with no previous experience in the education sector, I now see first-hand how male teachers can receive attention, and affectionate actions, from female girls within a school setting.  Pure and simple, as a man you have to rise above this (in truth, it should not even be a temptation in the first place), because even if you have some level of amiable feeling towards the girls, as the adult it should not even be a thought-mechanism beyond knowing the girls are being flirty due to their innate female nature.

Q-tip:                                                                                                                                    Adults need to be responsible in all ways, shapes, and forms in life.  A child can be forgiven for being a child.  Unfortunately, too many people belonging to the former group act as kids, leaving those in the latter group to pick up the pieces.

Just a couple of years ago and near to where I live, this pervert was convicted for sexual activity with female minors.  I am sure most people know of similar cases not far to them.  The article tells all, therefore I will not elaborate on the events.

The differing motivations between female and male teachers

Whilst there will be a level of similarity – hence the attention needs from a member of the opposite sex – between female teachers who partake in sexual activity with schoolboys, and male teachers who venture onto sexual activity with schoolgirls, there is big distinction to the dysfunctional thinking and mentality between each adult gender.

As explained, a woman is almost solely preying on male minors to satisfy her self-attention and ego assuaging needs.  Other than this disturbed psychological mind of hers which feeds off such requirements, I very much doubt there is an immediate and stronger sexual inclination for a woman in her twenties or thirties to have sex with a boy at school in comparison for her to have sex with a man her own age or sensibly older.  In other words, the sex with the boy is an aftermath of fulfilling her self-attention and egotistical requirements, in order to just feed the beast and drama that bit more.

Regarding a male teacher, it is different.  As perverted, twisted, and wrong as it sounds, I expect that male teachers who consider sexual activity with girls are actually physically attracted to these female minors as a primary source.  Many of these men will be innate or developed weirdos, and they may even be uncontrollably more sexually attracted to underage girls in contrast to women their own age (assuming women in their twenties or thirties).

Another reason could be that said male teacher does actually have a girlfriend, fiancé, or wife, but his respective female partner has become so unattractive over time that he uses his status to draw in girls he now finds more sexually attractive.

A decisive point, but one which is fully pertinent, is that, just like most none-perverted men out there, a man is unable to attract sought-after women in none-working environments.  In other words, the average man is not attractive or appealing enough to radiate female eyes onto him in places such as the gym, bars, nightclubs, on the street etc, therefore he uses his main playing card - which is his working status, role, and sometimes power - to get women interested in him.

To manifest it all out, the male teacher uses his profession and profile to lure in innocent girls who start to see him as a powerful and important figurehead.  He takes advantage of this scenario, and he is too weak to control his urges or consider the obvious consequences to both himself, and the girls who will be emotionally ruined for years, or a lifetime, to come.

A final thought

Without knowing the full ins and outs of each case, and with appreciation that I am no legal expert, does it not come across as hypocritical that the woman was given bail, yet the man was sentenced to more than ten years in jail (by the way, if I had my way he would have received a far more severe sentence)?

Surely the crime, all else being equal, is the same?  Maybe someone can explain this apparent hypocrisy better to me...?

The main reason men lie about age

 

“The only thing all of us have in common is the fact we are getting older.” 

 

In spite of many people (more women than men) thinking they are whiter than white and immune to any wrongdoing; the fact is that none of us are selfless all the time.  This is all the more applicable when we have something to gain.

My take on this is simple.  You should be as honest as much as possible, as a mindset and delivery that proceeds with the truth and reality gives off a much healthier and stress free existence.  Should this be true, it is kind of a given that you will enjoy life more.

With this said, if I was to pinpoint my most frequent occasions of lying, the vast majority will consist of age related answers.  I would tend to think that a high percentage of men post thirty, who have a liking for younger women as well as women their own age, will have also lied in this regard too.

Why do men lie about their age?

There are a few reasons behind this.  Whilst this answer is predominantly based on my own experience, I believe other men may have followed some or all of these trends:

·       As in my case, some men will look considerably younger than what the birth certificate shows.  At 31, I was being told I looked anything between 21 and 24.  With this in mind, if I did not know someone personally or it was just a case of a quick conversation, it was easier to agree than tell the truth.

·       Whilst men do physically age better and slower than women, the fact still remains that most men look their chronological age, or even a bit older.  As much as this is a minor reason, I have lied about my age to these exampled men in order to not make them feel less about themselves.

·       When a boy is the age of 16, he cannot wait for the next two years to pass quickly in desiring to be 18.  When he reaches 18, he may be in just as much a hurry to reach 21.  Nevertheless, from 21, I place a firm estimate that >90% of men actually want time to slow down, and once they reach their mid-20’s, they wish they were younger.  This desire of being younger in number terms (not maturity, professional, monetary terms etc) only exacerbates for every new age decade he approaches.

·       There are times when it benefits your professional or social acquaintances to believe you are younger than you are.  For example, I work in schools where the students are aged between 11 to 16.  It is obvious that they will like me and be able to relate to me more, the younger they think I am.  With this considered, me lying about my age is selfless, as much as selfish.

But the most main reason is….?

Not to put too fine a point on it, the main reason men, in particular men post 30 years of age, lie about their age is to date, or perhaps with the intention to just sleep with, younger women.  I doubt many men actually get a buzz out of lying per se in terms of age revelation, but they will look at what they have to gain.

I recall between 30 to 33 when I just found it easy to attract women between 18 to 23.  Without firm proof, much of this circumstance was because they knew I was older than them, but not by the actual years.  They would have thought I was between 21 and 25 (some said this, others would have assumed), depending on the woman’s eyes (and perhaps agenda to what she wanted to believe).

How did the women respond?

When I look back, I only lied to one of them.  I was 31 at the time, but she thought I was 21 (albeit in a dark nightclub the first time we met).  She was only 18 at the time, but she looked at least 21.  I told her I was 24.  She was more than happy with this.

After a couple of months, and after we revealed our mutual love for each other, my conscience got the better of me.  When I told her I was 31, she did not come across in immediate shock.  I tend to think she had done some online digging on me anyway, but she did not fully believe it was me. 

After a little chuckle to herself, she just crept closer and kissed me.  It was one of the most relieved feelings I have experienced, in the main because I had fallen in love with her, and also because she was a good person.  Had it been just a one night stand or short term fling, truly little contrition would have taken part.

This leads me onto why I have often lied about my age to younger women who appeared interested.  In the case of the girlfriend referenced above, reading between the lines, I predict that had she known about my age from the start, she may have not pursued.  The fact I did lie allowed things to develop, and our experience and relationship – in spite of the age gap – was left to blossom.  In other words, had I not lied she may not have had this experience in her life.  Had I not lied, she would not have experienced such happiness.

The same applies for less committal types of women.  A lot of women only hold inclinations for my presence in their life during certain periods, therefore once more, it is a fair assumption on my part that had I told them my real age, they would not have got what they wanted.  Call me selfless or selfish, it is up to you…

Case in point anecdote…

Fast forward a few years, and I got to know a young woman near to where I resided.  She lived with her parents, and I though she looked 23 or 24.  We texted for a few days, and we agreed to meet up one Saturday.

Prior to the event, she asked me how old I was.  Telling her the truth in that I was post 35, she revealed she was to become 21 in the next few days.  After a bit more dialogue, she said it just did not feel right due to the age gap.  We never met up.

A couple of months on, and I received a text from her claiming that she found a key on my drive.  I had lost no key whatsoever, and I would put my mortgage on there being no key in this fabricated story.  In essence, she most likely wanted to meet up in her most fertile few days. 

As it turns out, unfortunately, I was going on a vacation early the next morning.  Nothing came of our little endeavours, and we never set eyes on each other again.  For what it is worth, about a year later I saw her carrying a baby.  Lucky escape…!?

Do women lie about their age?

Whilst women will lie and time waste at will and with no remorse generally, especially with respect to emotional topics or relationship/interaction with the opposite sex, women lie in far smaller numbers in comparison to men about their age.  This is kind of ironic, because getting older is a harsher reality and outcome for women than it is for men.

So, whilst women most likely despise and resent getting older more than men, their inclination to lie is not as great because their predilection for being romantically and/or sexually involved with younger men is not near as high - in neither numbers nor motivation - than the inverse gender dynamic. 

What women compensate in replacement of lying about their age, however, is to act in an immature manner.  This is why, in the modern day, you see women in their mid-20’s acting like 18 year olds, women in their 30’s acting like they are 21 again, and some women in their 40’s or 50’s who are pitifully giggling or tapping on phones like females decades their junior.

A final thought

If you were to read an online topic and comments section, you will not find a more ferocious female vocal audience than one which manifests the subject of a man lying about his age.  As always, this is more down to women’s (most likely older women) fear of said man being attracted to and sometimes securing younger women, than it is about him lying about his age per se.

In fact, you would almost think that a man lying about his age and being interested/sleeping with much younger women is, to many older women, a worst crime than him cheating on a woman his own age.  Some jealous men (ironically men who have cheated on wives in the past) also think this way too.  I guess a lot of people live in glass houses….

Take note of women who imitate you

 

         “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”               (Oscar Wilde) 

 

As women are defaulted masters at not, or very rarely, showing their cards in terms of attraction onto men, you need to screen for any little hint or clue that likely indicates she is sexually into you.  Generally speaking, a woman’s ego, pride, and any slight fear of rejection (and this fear of rejection can be as minor as her looking at a man from close range, and him not looking back) stands in the way of her natural urge to be with him, therefore take advantage of any slip up she may make in this respect.

This previous post offered the primary indicator in explaining how a woman is attracted to a man.  Nothing comes close to this, as proximity alerts and attempts to get in the way of said man being near her female competitor are the clearest ways you know a woman likes you.

Women who imitate you

When we talk about women imitating a man, we are obviously looking at it from a positive sense.  For removal of all doubt, we are not talking about the immature girl at high school who ridicules the way a boy talks, walks, or acts.  In these occasions, it would be very isolated where a female’s imitation of a male is based on her attraction.

What we need to look out for – as men who hold desires to have sex with attractive women – is where they are subconsciously replicating what you are doing.  There are a few reasons why this is a productive sign:

·       A woman imitating a man’s mannerisms views him as high value.  Women love men of high value.

·       A woman imitating a man’s habits construes him as knowledgeable to what he is doing.  Women like men who possess more than a few brain cells (providing she is not too dense herself), and a man who knows the subject in hand.

·       A woman imitating a man’s actions attains a subconscious voice inside her head that she wants to fit into his life.  When a woman thinks this way, she effectively wants to be in his life.

·       A woman imitating a man’s behaviour sees this man as a decisive male.  Women love men who are strong-minded, where conversely, they find indecisive men unappealing.

·       A woman imitating a man’s characteristics interprets him as a man who does not care what other people think of him.  The likelihood is this deliverable of his is rare and unique, and women are projected onto men who stand out.

·       A woman imitating a man’s existence operations holds a strong belief, usually rightly, that this man is a lot more confident than the average man.  Women are drawn towards confident men.

A recent female “imitator”

Around early October of last year on a Friday morning, I was working around the legs area of the gym.  Walking towards this same zone came a short, attractive, young woman (5ft 1”, aged about 21, 8/10 in physical attractiveness).  I immediately tried to think where I had seen her before, and it came back to me that two days earlier (when she was in her work clothes and exiting the gym) I thanked her for holding the door open for me (even though in fact she did not open it deliberately for me, but in fairness she did say “Sorry”).

Back to the Friday, and she gave me a little, even if in somewhat uncomfortable dispositioned (which is to be expected with most women who give a man an attraction indicator) smile, before moving onto the machine of her choice.  We worked around the same area for about twenty minutes.

Three days later, and as I parked up, I could see the lights on her car still on (I remembered her car from the week before).  As I got out my car, so did she, and it appeared, without any proof, that she was trying to time the two of us to collide at the entrance.  As she gave a little glance to me, sod’s law, another guy walked between us. 

Come the following Friday, this is where the imitation took place.  Other than myself, I have never seen anyone stretch out after each set.  That day, I saw her doing exactly what I do.  Also like me (and unlike more other members), she takes very short rest periods between each set. 

On a side note, I have also noticed she is not a woman on her phone between sets - something I very much like to see in a woman.  Could she be a rare woman who is clued up on what men desire in women, or more to the point, she holds a stronger motivation to do what men want of women over and above filling her self-importance needs?

In summary to all this, she, again without any proof she was doing it due to me, seemingly gave both proximity alerts and imitation clues in the space of a week.

Q-tip 1:                                                                                                                                         If you sense a woman is attracted to you, do things which make her even more attracted to you (one example in this post), and more importantly, things which maintain her attraction.  A woman’s positive emotional feelings can turn south on a dime if you fail to do so.

Is imitation a sure sign she is good to go?

My friends, if only this was the case!  Unfortunately, very similar to a woman giving bed eyes to a good looking man, but turning him down when he approaches, a woman imitating a man’s actions is no guarantee at all that she is down to get naughty.

I would break it down into four categories:

·       A woman will hardly ever imitate a man she is unattracted to, unless somehow he manages to later convince her that his appeal is higher than what face value suggests.  Even then, it is highly unlikely she would imitate him, as she would have just become involved with him due to what she has to gain from the relationship.

·       Similar to the above, a woman will rarely imitate an average looking man who she is not in a relationship with.  There is no inclination for her to imitate, such is the fact of her none or minimal sexual attraction towards him.  Nevertheless, if a cute woman is in a relationship with an average looking man, do not be surprised to occasionally see her imitate him.  This reasoning is more to convince her mind, and her peers, that he is a better catch than what other eyes will be telling them – hence why she imitates him in a vain attempt to raise his value bar.

·       A woman will sometimes be seen imitating an above average looking man.  This man holds enough appeal, without being stand out, for cute and hot women to be attracted to him, and as most of these women view above average looking men as the male physical looks compartment they most want to be with, they will imitate in a subconscious process based on desires to be with him.

·       Providing he has an attitude and confidence to back up his elite physical attractiveness, you will find women uncontrollably imitate habits of the best looking men.  This imitation however will often be more of a female fit in need to what appears cool, rather than hankerings to be with him.

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                                      No man can honestly say a woman is serious about him until she has slept with him.  Until such day, it can all be a case of female teasing, immaturity, games, time-wasting, attention-seeking, and a fantasy of being with him but not carrying it out in reality.

Men look younger after a haircut

 

“Give yourself extra opportunities when they are free of charge.” 

 

When he can no longer say he is in his twenties, and sometimes even before this should he choose or see necessity, by and large it is in a man’s benefit to look younger than what his birth certificate proves.  This strategy should only become even more important as he reaches older decade ranges.

It will be incredibly rare for a man to not look younger once he has visited the Barbour’s and had a short back and sides so to speak.  It would be rarer still for him to ever look older post trim.

Caveat to above:                                                                                                                     This is only applicable to a haircut transitioned from a medium length, long length, or already short hairstyle - into a sharper cut.  A lot of men may, and often do, actually look older when they go from a stylish short cut to a shaven look.

A good example of how a shaven look can make a man look older is shown below:

My process of this plan of action

A big mistake when I look back, but for about eighteen months during my mid-twenties I opted for a longer style.  I am not talking down my back or anything, but it was long enough to put behind my ears and cover the top part of my spine.  In retrospect, I regret it immensely. 

Not a day too soon, I went for a much shorter and style (something between a Quiff and French crop look).  With discrete changes along the way, I have kept this style as of today.  This previous post will give a refresher to the subject of various men’s hairstyles.

I went out that night after having it cut, and as soon as my friend saw me, he commented on how I looked younger.  Another mate that night stated I looked much better.  When I went to work on the Monday, colleagues said I looked at least five years younger in comparison to the longer look (granted, the longer look probably made me look a couple of years older than what I should have done).

An assuming memory

When I joined a company in 2015, there was a Managing Director there who was only a couple of years older than me.  As an amalgamation of him who had clearly aged badly, compared to me looking much younger, he looked fifteen years my senior.

I could tell he did not like me from the moment he set eyes on me (he did not interview me, nor was he the decision maker in appointing me).  It did not take me long to comprehend why this was there and then, and why it was transparent he would never warm to me.  I could have been the best sales contributor his company had ever known, but this would not have compensated for his personal disliking, or more appropriate jealousy, towards me.  Simply put, he was a want to be Ladies Man, which was the catalyst to him not being amiable to my existence.

Less than a year after I joined, a Health and Safety Manager (Michael) joined the business.  It was obvious from day one that he attained an agenda to climb up the hierarchy ladder on a fast track basis, and he did just that by the means of working long (even if unproductive) hours, in conjunction to brown nosing the Managing Director.

Michael was another one who exhibited a lack of affinity towards me.  Despite being married with two young children, he also came across early on as someone who liked to attract the ladies.

Q-tip 1:                                                                                                                                      Do not be confused in thinking that when all men get married and have kids, they subsequently lose the urge to attract other women.  When men realize the mistake they made in settling down, or they no longer are attracted to their wife/female partner, they often try to attract other women even more than when they were single.

With the coward of a Managing Director often loading bullets for Michael to try and wind me up, I will never forget one Monday morning when arguably the hottest woman in the company said how nice my hair looked after a weekend trim.  I could see in the corner of my eye Michael looking over in envy.

The next time I had my haircut (usually every five weeks), when Michael saw it, he shouted out:                                                                                                                                       “Have you had your haircut again!?”                                                                                      The penny did not totally drop there and then, but it did not take me long to understand that he and the Managing Director did not take kindly to when I had a haircut.  Simply put, they did not like me looking both more attractive and younger.

As a side note to the above, but equally as relevant with regards to the two men’s antagonism, I also think they did not like the fact that a front quiff and cropped up style gave me a couple of inches in visual (as opposed to actual) height.  I am barely six foot tall, but by the time my hair and shoe heels/trainers are accounted for, most people would interpret me as at least 6ft 2”.

What about women’s emotions towards men having a haircut?

In truth, this all goes in consistence to what I have always documented and stood by.  Generally speaking, and all else being equal, this is what you will expect:

·       If a man is good looking (and even more applicable if he is exceptionally good looking), more people than not (men and women alike) will be acrimonious towards him when he has a haircut.

·       If a man is average to above average looking, other men will be oblivious to this, and nearly all women will be warmer towards him.

·       If a man is below average looking, a haircut is an irrelevance.

·       The hotter the woman, the more tolerable (and sometimes warmer) she will be towards a good looking man post his haircut.

·       All else being equal, younger women (or more to the point, women who look considerably younger than said man) will be more attracted towards a man after his haircut – and hence, him looking younger.

·       All else being equal, women older/women who look older than said man (but women who are attracted to him or/and find him attainable) will feel a more negative feeling inside when she sees him with a fresh haircut – and hence, him looking younger.

A final chuckle…

I had a former female hairdresser who tended to be a little too scissor happy for my liking.  Whilst I wanted it kept short (especially at the back and sides), I did not ask for too much off the top.  No matter how many times I politely reminded her of this before she started, she just could not resist taking off a bit more than I desired.  She even once joked about how she just gets carried away when she starts.  She still did a good job, so I just laughed it off knowing that in a week’s time it would look how I wanted it to anyway.

For a six month period when this hairdresser looked after me, I had an ex-girlfriend who was a bit younger than me, but who looked about the same age or even a bit older.  Oblivious to the reasons at the time, when I had a haircut and she saw me later that day, she got an immediate mood on.

I will always remember one day when I told her I was having a trim later that morning.  My ex firmly told me to instruct the hairdresser to take hardly anything off the top.  As always, the hairdresser just did her usual and took off a centimetre too much.

When my ex set eyes on it later that evening, she claimed that my hairdresser did this to piss her off.  The two of them had never met!  At the time I just thought that, like my opinion, I looked a bit less attractive when it was too short.  In hindsight, it was because it made me look even younger than her.

A decisive point – inverse situation for women

It is important to clarify that all the above explanations are only applicable to men.  As much as most weak men will not admit this, what I am about to write is the truth and only what these men are thinking.  As someone who has gone through rigorous chemotherapy treatment and lost his hair, please be aware that this point is aimed at choice, and not necessity.

In essence, when women have a pronounced amount of hair taken off, there is no hiding from the fact that they look both less physically attractive, and older.  I understand there comes a time, due to age, hair texture etc, where some women are left with little option but to take number of inches off the length, but the truth is the truth, and the reality is the reality.

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                                 There will be only isolated men who, when they hear the words that their female partner is a having a god deal of length taken off, will be sincerely happy.  The only men who may be cheerful in some way (not to be confused with being more attracted to her, which he will not be), will be men who are boxing above their weights in being with much more physically attractive women in gender relative terms.  He will know she will now attract fewer men.

Q-tip 3:                                                                                                                            Choosing to have a significant reduction in hair length will be one of the biggest decisions a woman makes in her life.  Deep down, even she cannot deny that this decision, should she go through with it, will reduce the number of male suitors projected onto her.