Sunday 29 September 2019

A movie with an inevitable ending

“If they tell you that you have big shoes to fill, then tell them you have big feet.”

There are certain situations in life that bring about an inevitable outcome.  One scenario could be a person’s disgusted face when a neighbour’s cat craps all over your garden.  Another instance could be your inner desire to vomit when inflicted to the smell of piss when walking down the stairs of a multi-storey car park.  Or perhaps it’s the sight of a full English breakfast the morning after a big night?

In any case, life experience, assisted with possessing a few brain cells and not fearing reality, allows you to expect, if not be surprised, when a circumstance evolves from an apparent happy beginning.  Sometimes it is a simple case of just opening your eyes and not living in a world of fallacy and ideology.  Other times people open the wrapping paper for you, in confirming what you already knew.

This article gives a reader a real-life synopsis of what can happen when a woman dates a man who is significantly boxing above his weight in physical attractiveness terms.  As secondary onlookers (hence not knowing the people involved personally), we can only fill in the blanks of what else went on, and what goes on, within our best estimate outside of a one-page summary.

First, not for a moment am I doubting the woman’s integrity and honesty, nor am I defending this pathetic man.  He’s been jailed for 11 years; therefore he clearly took it up upon himself to use violent abuse on her amongst anything else.  Beating up a woman, in my opinion, is the most despicable and cowardice act (outside of murder and rape) alongside paedophilia.  I don’t care how much a woman provokes you or cheats on you, a man who chooses to use physical aggression on a woman is a complete coward and poor excuse for a human being with testicles.  Yes, woman do provoke and cheat, but a man who is ever is confronted with these moments must take the high road, move on, and be the bigger person.  If a man can’t accept that a woman never grows up, then there’s little benefit in getting seriously involved with her in the first place.

Here’s the once happy couple:

The above picture doesn’t do her much justice in terms of her hotness.  This one does:

Albeit in a WAG way, and in the absence of seeing her whole figure, she is a solid 8.5/10 at the appealing age of 24.  Granted, from my experience women who doll themselves up to this level take a huge dip in natural look (it may well be if you saw her in the morning she is no greater than a 6/10), but as I’ve always said, you can only judge a person’s aesthetic value on what you see there and then.

On the other hand, he is struggling to even tip to 6.25/10 in gender relative terms.  That’s a near 40% leverage (or deleverage in her case) of partner physical attractiveness disparity.  A woman generally seeks out a man who is 10% to 15% less physically attractive than her, and it certainly isn’t alien to see women with men who are 20% less aesthetically gifted, but a 40% drop is rare outside of a man possessing fame and fortune. 

The article does tell us she is a mother of one, and this one fact alone will deter many men, but her hotness level and relative youth mitigates a lot of her parentage baggage. 

We don’t know the facts, but this is my take on the process of events from a general analysis when I see couples of this dynamic.

1)    A woman (especially above 23 years of age) has an ego driven motivation to be with a man less physically attractive than her.  The bigger the gap, the better she feels about herself and believes he will strive harder to please her.
2)    A single parent mother, no matter what her looks level, will have fewer male suitors than her equivalent non parenting status – all else equal.  This knowingly (although not admitting it to others or herself) makes her demands for a “suitable man” that little bit more flexible.
3)    A man in this dynamic, especially in a small town, will feel he has won the lottery in locating a woman of this hotness level to date him.
4)    At first, all is rosy in the garden.  The woman has her head (hence ego) swelled to a size that can barely fit through the door, and the man benefits from the best sex (or at least the best ejaculations) he has ever experienced in his whole life.
5)    As time goes on, resentment on her side strikes first.  Although appreciative of his efforts in the short term, she can’t help but think as each day passes that he is not the best man she could be with.  The smiles on her face dry up, and the good feeling she gained from being with a much lesser looking man diminishes. 
6)    As time goes on, but later than the time as explained in 5), he senses her interest dwindling.  Sex is not as frequent, and her gratitude is not as common. 
7)    As time goes further on, his sense of her growing apathy and disinterest manifests to produce enhanced jealousy and frustration on his part.  The existence of a kid (I can only assume the child is from another man’s seed), will only further compound his anxiety that he is not a priority in her life.
8)    She wants out - but will likely wait until there is a near guarantee of another man to give her boyfriend validation.
9)    He senses she is cheating, and his obsession of her and inner thoughts that he will never secure anyone as sexually attractive again, takes control of his mind to violently abuse her.

I want to reiterate once more that, no matter what happened (and I’d hedge a fair bet I’m not too far off the mark at all), any man who uses violence on a woman should have the book thrown at him and then have the key tossed away.  You could carve a better man out of a carrot.  I doubt she cheated anyway, but even if she did, any man in this position should just walk away and realize she did him a favour.

If a woman ever cheats on you outside of marriage, comprehend that she actually did you a big favour.  This may seem illogical and bizarre when your heart is shaking like a volcano and the nausea feeling won’t leave, but ultimately she has given you a crash course in finding out what she is really like.  You could have spent months, if not years more of your life, before finding her true colours for the woman she truly is.

For the record, I have never knowingly been the victim of infidelity, but I can’t say in practice this was the case for sure. What I do know is that I have been with more than a few women who were looking for, and contriving a strategy for, their next boyfriend whilst still with me.

A final thought

The article states that the man confessed to cheating on the woman on the same night as the torture started.  This is the part that doesn’t add up to me.  If a man has been cheating on a woman for a sustained period, I very much doubt that once confronted by his girlfriend regarding this adultery, he flips his lid and starts beating her up.  Surely, he just uses this as an excuse to get out (assuming why he was cheating in the first place?) or he asks for forgiveness in a way of holding his hands up?  I fully appreciate that a man can have sex with a mistress (even for a decent timeframe), yet still be in love with his girlfriend/wife, but I find it hard to understand how a cheating man then beats her up.  I’ve known first-hand of men to beat up their female partners once knowledgeable of her infidelity, but becoming violent when he is the one with pants caught down just doesn’t tally up.

My two pennies worth derive to these four possibilities:
·       He was never cheating, and this part of the story is make-believe.
·       She was cheating, and he found out.
·       He maybe cheated on isolated occasions as the sex frequency with her fragmented.
·       Neither was cheating, but his obsession towards her simultaneous to his sense of her drifting away took charge of his mind.


BBC NEWS (Online)

Thursday 12 September 2019

Man being sexually harassed by women

“Conscious manipulation, or an uncontrollable cry for help?”

F Sharp asks for my thoughts on the below:

“Good day mate! I hope that this message finds you well. I read your article called "Isolated occasions of women complimenting men’s looks", and I got to thinking: have you ever had (I'm sure that you have) any incidences with female sexual harassment at work? I don't mean you being the aggressor, but the victim... I keep having this issue and I don't know the best way to deal with it (sales, customer service, and even construction). Any advice, or could you write a small guide for how to handle it?
P.S. I understand that you have your own engagements in life and more important topics to articulate, but if you ever have a moment to write a guide for men in this scenario, I would be much obliged!”

My response:

Had I not previously received genuine emails from F Sharp on other topics where advice was requested, and it was consequently from another reader, I would suspect a comment of this kind may have been aggressively written with an element of tongue in cheek attached.  However, knowing F Sharp in a social media context per se, I take every word he wrote as genuine and honest.  I know there are some readers, and haters (both women and men), who cannot stand the subscriptions I make in terms of aspects related to very good-looking men, but so be it.  I’ll still write what I like, I’ll still speak what I see when necessary, and ultimately, I’ll restfully still sleep at night.

First, a direct answer to the question.  No, I have never been sexually harassed by women in the workplace.  Coming to think of it, I have never been sexually harassed by a female member of society in any environmental situation.  The closest I can think is some years ago when on a night out when a woman, most likely striving for troll points in front of her friends, said to me from five yards away: “You’re making me wet just by looking at you.”
As she wasn’t the most arousing of women, I just smiled and replied: “You’re welcome.”

The only other times which I could say comes close to any kind of female sexual harassment is the usual excuse to just touch me on the shoulder or make out that I looked stressed in subsequently massaging me, but for me this is just flirty interaction as opposed to downright sexual contact.  Besides, in some cases I was more than happy to be touched by younger female colleagues. 

In essence, I guess it depends on a man’s interpretation to what female sexual harassment constitutes.  For the purpose of online definition:
 Sexual Harassment:
Behaviour characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation.

With the definition now looked upon more closely, I suppose in this case I have then in fact been sexually harassed by women on more occasions than I’ll ever remember.  Nevertheless, to reiterate in my view I wouldn’t class it as anything more than flirtatious, maybe even desperate, female actions in getting that bit closer to me.

It’s funny because I don’t think I ever really acknowledged that female sexual harassment projected onto men even existed until I saw the Indecent Proposal movie on DVD.  I recall finding the whole film somewhat bizarre, to the point of thinking that if I was Michael Douglas, I’d just let Demi Moore carry on with her advances and enjoy the ride, so to speak.

Anyway, this clearly has given F Sharp some disturbance, and it needs to be answered and thought upon seriously.  First, it all depends on how much anxiety it is causing you.  If it is an experience like that as explained in my life, I simply wouldn’t do anything.  Remember that any notification you make to your Human Resources will, no matter how much you ask for it to be treated in confidence, conceivably result in word getting out that it was you who reported a level of sexual harassment.  You will only be laughed at, sneered at, or looked down upon for doing this. 

If it is genuinely causing you trepidation, discomfort or a sour taste in your mouth for the start of every day, then I can only suggest having a quiet word with the woman/women who are interacting with you in this way.  I’d try and nip it in the bud that way, perhaps just stating you find it flattering yet uncomfortable due to the working environment.  Another reason you could give is that your boss has commented on this and you think it could have a detriment on your progression (ironically, if you have a female line manager this attention you receive from other women could have positive results if she is a hot boss, or negative results if she is older and/or ugly).

I appreciate this may not be the advice you were looking for, but it is difficult for me to state anything more productive when I can only view it as something to not take too seriously.

Further female flirty thoughts – fertile/horny week

I was intending to write a bespoke post on this subject, and I may still do so, but for now I will write a few words on how any man, especially a highly gifted aesthetic man, can use the one week out of four female fertile period to his advantage.  I must be honest and confess that the penny never dropped on my plate for many years into my experience with women, but once comprehensive to the undeniability of real life, my success to become intimate with women vastly improved.

Ultimately, women possess two mating strategies that represent the alpha fux beta bux phrase that is now accustomed to any man who knows the first thing about good ladies from our opposite sex.  For three weeks (give or take a day or two) out every four weeks, a woman will usually be more than content with her average looking, pleasant, safe, reliable and providing male partner who receives very little attention from female counterparts.  This man is good for her ego, makes her feel like a princess, and will nearly always be someone she can plan a long term with.

The problem, for her and him, is when she arrives at the start of day ten on her menstrual cycle, up until typically day fifteen or sixteen.  This one week out of four leaves her with an innate and uncontrollable urge to seek out edgier, more popular and better-looking men than the male partner she accompanies.  I’d go as far to say that in this day and age, if most women only have a full-on night out one in every four weekends, they will make best attempts to ensure the date is planned around the most fertile and horny window week. 

During this one week out of four, a woman’s taste for men drastically takes a turn.  If man thinks marriage, or even being a mother, changes this habit then think again.  It only compounds her urge; such is now her dwindling sexual predilection to the male long-term partner.  The only implication marriage and kids may have on some women is their resistance to carry out infidelity actions due to the consequences involved, but don’t bet on too many married women and/or mothers holding down this level of integrity, loyalty and faithfulness.

It’s ironic that when a man gets married and becomes a father, he becomes more attractive to nearly every other woman in his social or working network apart from to the woman he married or is the mother of his child.

But if you are a man who naturally attracts women at ease, it would be prudent to take full advantage of this female wonder week.  Women who usually give you the cold shoulder (due to your gender relative higher physical attractiveness) or women in stable relationships will show far greater proactive, physical contact and proximity signs that they would like to get to know you better.  This window only lasts a matter of days (often only one day in that week if you don’t see her day in day out), therefore pick up on it as soon as you can.  Because once day sixteen passes, there will be another three weeks where she goes back into her shell and is happy for Monsieur Dependable.  You may not see her during the next window opening.

These signs are easy to pick up on, because as stated above, her habits, body language, likeability and closeness onto you will positively change for six or seven days.  What is all usually negative, acrimonious, unreceptive and unfriendly behaviour on her part, takes a 180-degree turn.

This is effectively why a woman can never be truly happy or consistent in her relationship life, because she must carry out two roles for every month of her life.  You could make an argument to question why the hell any man in his right mind would get married and place himself in such risky waters.  Then again, most men know nothing about women, and what makes them tick, or not.