Saturday 21 January 2017

Marriage thoughts

"A person with more friends than fingers is a fool."

Reader Danny asks for my thoughts on marriage:


One other great post indeed:) 

By the way..wanted to ask you?
If you'd get married...what woman you'd chose?..a 10?.. 8?..since beauty is such a transitory factor for a woman before she gets fat?..
I wonder...
Danny boy:)

My response:

You can never say never in life, but knowing myself better than anyone else comes close to, and in comprehension to the life knowledge I've acquired and understanding of women that has developed over the years, I couldn't see myself marrying anything less than a 7.5/10 looks rated woman.  This woman referenced would need to possess an excellent personality and be very enjoyable company that outweighs the enrichment of an independent life.  In addition to this, she would also have to be somewhere near to my own level of financial assets, or come from a wealthy background that could contribute to our common objectives.  If I sensed for a split second that compromise and empathy were not part of her character vocabulary, she wouldn't last beyond her sexual use to me.

Female physical attractiveness, in men's eyes, gives women more leeway with male demands.  I'm no different.  This isn't, very often, the same case in the gender inverse perspective.  A man's good looks (or better looks in comparison to a lesser looking man from the woman's past) will rarely shorten the list or intensity of a woman's demands for long term consideration.  What good male looks do give men is more opportunity for short term flings and one night stands.

To explain further, if the woman was an 8/10, I wouldn't be as particular about her non-visual attributes in relation to the 7.5/10 woman.  This is mainly in thought to a non-marital relationship.  Likewise, a 8.5/10 woman would receive more leeway than the 8/10 woman, and again a 9/10 woman receives more leeway further still.  But to reiterate, this is out of wedlock consideration.

The reason I stress that this process only follows as a boyfriend and not a husband is because, as Danny strongly alludes to, a woman's peak beauty period is short lived.  Marriage only compounds this sad but true case of events, because the majority of women rapidly become more unattractive once married.  General observation is all you need to back this up.  Why?  Well most women have achieved their life dream once the ring is on the finger and the big wedding day is over, and they have little concern (although they will have firm knowledge) to the primary reason her now husband proposed to her - based on her looks.  Whereas once the cakes and fast food were resisted, and gym visits were more frequent, post marriage leads her to the opposite lifestyle pattern.  If a woman does keep up her good habits post marriage, it is either (less so) because she deeply loves and respects her husband and knows he may stray if she doesn't keep up her appearance, or (more so) due to still being on the lookout for a better male alternative. 

Kids, usually a by-product of marriage despite many women in this day and age giving birth prior so, physically deteriorate both women and men.  There is no getting away from this unfriendly fact.  Not only do the little sods give parents half the amount of sleep than the single or dating life offered, but the sheer stress of financial burden that children manifest plays on a human's mind both day and night.  I'm not a parent, but any honest parent would admit this is the case.  But as time is a more vicious and unforgiving circumstance to a woman's face and body than to a man's equivalence, the parenthood role plays a more strenuous picture, although perhaps not mind, on her than him. 

Now add on the unproven but natural consequence of marriage making women less charming and appreciative.  Prior to marriage, women have a far greater motivation to act friendly, receptive and gratifying in order to secure the sucker who will take her down the aisle.  Afterwards, poof, the slippery slide will start.  Once a woman has a grip on a man's future, she has far less inclination to be nice and accommodating.  And her demands only become stronger as each day ticks by, probably until the point (around late 30's to early 40's) where she knows very few men will marry her again.  Some of the friendliest women are in their late 30's and early 40's, but these are mainly divorcees on the lookout for a new man.  They have regained the necessity to be charming once more. 

So in essence, the moral of all this is not to get married unless you, by magic, land on a female dime that is as rare as rocking horse shit.  Another argument could be if you came into a fortune, but even then be prepared to lose a good chunk of this later down the line.  Marrying a richer woman than you is also a fair justification, although these women are seldom the best lookers.

I often view marriage, or the relationship with the woman a man marries, as a 10% happiness life span.  If the rough survival rate is around 85, at best you will have 8 years of unbelievable happiness that exceeds the single life.  Much of this 8 years will be pre-marriage rather than post wedding day.  I'm a big statistic and percentage kind of guy, and for me, 10% is not long or great enough to compensate for the other 90% of indifference or misery.

My step-sister gets married this late summer.  I'll keep my mouth shut on the day, but make no mistake that I have no problem telling people what I think on this subject.  The only exception is in the early days when a cute or hot woman comes into my life.  If they don't ask, I don't tell....      


Saturday 14 January 2017

Cute women and hot women distinctions

"All you need in life is hope, happiness, and security."

A reader asks the following:

Hi Vinay, nice post. Can you explain the difference between hot woman and cute woman?

My response:

The separation between a cute woman and a hot woman in the sexual market is perhaps the most challenging out there when analyzing differences in gender physicality and character.  Bitches can be removed from sweet girls (although this doesn't necessarily mean a sweet girl will be any more resistant to leave once she finds a better option).  Bad boys and nice guys can be categorized without too much difficulty.  An intelligent woman stands out like a sore thumb against the hoards of dumb women.  And, despite what their respective girlfriends try to convince otherwise, an average to above average looking man is a stand-out physical downgrade to a good looking man (considering all of facial features, body profile, and height).

For me, a cute woman sits at a physical attractiveness grade ranging from 7/10 to 7.75/10.  You will see hundreds of them, even thousands, in the course of a year.  A hot woman takes over at 8/10 onwards.  You will see half a dozen to a dozen lower end hot girls of 8/10 to 8.25/10 in your average week, depending on how much you get out the house of course.  Medium hot girls of 8.5/10 to 8.75/10 will be much rarer, and perhaps observed about a dozen times in a year - and that's being very optimistic.  As for anyone with realistic standards and truthful judgment, 9/10 or greater women in looks terms are seen a couple of times annually in real life, or on wholesale occasions in magazines, on TV, or internet browsing.

But people are very sensitive when judging other's physical attractiveness levels.  Often this is because of attainability factors.  A woman will usually leverage her rating of a man who isn't as eye catching as her, and she will likewise deleverage her rating of a man who is as or more aesthetically blessed than her in gender relative terms.  As for men, their voices on this subject are different but similar in the same breath.  Most men will still say a woman is hot even if she is well out of his grasp.  Why?  Men don't have the big egos, insecurities and fragile prides that women possess.  However, what men will do is push up the level of a woman he is in a relationship with, or even someone he has is eye on, despite her being overweight, uglier, saggier or older than he would choose with a carte blanche of options.

Sometimes pictures spell out more on the distinction of female cuteness and hotness:

The two blondies above are cute women in any truthful man's eyes.  For me, they are both 7.25/10, and on a good day you could push me to 7.5/10.  Now of course, to many men these women would be classed as hot, but this is because both of them are out of most men's leagues in visual respects.  Nevertheless, most women who look like these two are with just run of the mill men - average looking, decent but not spectacular professions, and nothing to write home about in style, personality or charisma terms.

These two women on the other hand are hot.  Again, I'd go 8.75/10, but I wouldn't put up much resistance for a 9/10 grade.  At their peak (and this peak is nothing more than a few years for women), these kinds of women are seen with professional sports stars or celebrities of some kind.  This far from means every woman who looks like these two are with a top end famous man, because there are hundreds of women who look like them for every one man I refer to.  Most of these women end up with older or/and above average looking men, who belong to the top 1% pay scales. 

Non-visual considerations

Just as important to consider for men is how to approach the mentality of both cute and hot women.  By clear majority, female physical allure aligns with female character. 

Cute women, by and large, are friendlier, more approachable, not so prone to take themselves seriously, and better company.  They aren't always worrying about how the outside world perceives or judges them, because although still hounded by the mediocre male population, deep down they know there are many more beautiful women out there.  They haven't been necessitated to rely on, or had the luxury of relying,  solely on their looks for a free handout.  Although social media - through female "friendship" compliments and male supplication - has elevated a woman's self-opinion above the objective mirror reflection, they are still realistic enough to know they cannot compete with their hotter counterparts.  This, generally, makes them less expectant and more forthcoming in what the real world is about. 

Hot women take on a far more serious demeanour.  Unless found in girl party nights out in attempts to convince the watching public life is so much fun, they are easy to detect low confidence and high insecurity traits when alone.  Looking down at a phone is the most common trick to conceal this weakness, but also look out for quick strides, no eye contact with anyone, or a basic inability to just relax and enjoy life.  If you ever find a hot women who does the opposite to all the aforementioned, and actually has a bright outlook on life, you may as well be looking at a unicorn.  No, they do exist as I've had the pleasure of intimately knowing a few, but make no mistake that they are incredibly rare.  And when not done up to look their best, they can be the hardest to deal with.

This, as a summary, leads it conveniently onto how men should assess cute and hot women prior to cold approach interaction. 

All else equal, a cute woman will not entertain dating ugly men, unless she attains an almighty high ego and is in need for uninterrupted attention and love.  She will know no other woman wants him.  Needless to say, in the absence of high status or earnings, no hot woman wants to be seen within fifty yards of an ugly man.  She has her reputation to think of. 

A cute woman, like the two shown above, will usually be seen with average looking men of 6/10 to 7/10 in looks aspects.  Again, I reiterate the all else equal phrase.  This is why any Average Joe really should be aware that there is so much opportunity for him to grade up to a cute woman.  Cute women have ego led, if not heart and sexual impulses, inclinations to be drawn to men who are that full grade lower them in visual blessings. 

A hot woman, like the two shown above, are commonplace alongside above average looking men of 7.25/10 to 7.75/10.  It runs in parallel with the cute girl explanation. The female mind uncontrollably strays towards men they are not repulsed with, but equally men who are less physically attractive.  The big difference between a hot woman against a cute woman is that the former place far higher hoops to jump over with regards to male status and wealth requirements.  However, there are still more hot women than very high status or rich men, therefore a surplus of them have no choice but to settle for "Mr Nearly Right".

This is why men, as has been said before on this blog, should never think they need to go the extra yard to please women.  The right attitude, confidence and knowledge is a far greater tool kit.  Men can get carried away by only seeing a few cute and hot women, so they form an automated mindset to believe that if they get that one chance, they need to act like she is the only girl in the world.  It's not until you actually travel a bit, open your eyes, and realize there are a good number of them who far outweigh the quantities of men you think they are with.  Not every man is a pop star or millionaire.  Keep that thought in the front end of your mind next time you think she is too good for you.