Monday 25 May 2015

Can a man become more extroverted?

“Sing in the shower like nobody is watching.”

Reader Steve asks for some advice, formed on the back of this previous post, which I hope will benefit others too:

Man 5 here in that category? Where are u on the intro extro scale? Im an introvert myself. Not a big talker. Do u think one can convert oneself to extrovert and if u can give some how to? Altho i have improved a lot since finding game.

My response:

I'd say I'm a solid 8 towards the extrovert scale.  That is:
I’m confident in my own skin.  I’m at ease in standing out but refraining from an extravagant or "in your face" way.  I’m comfortable with people irrespective of gender, race, age, personality, etc.  I’m not intimidated or in awe by anyone (especially stuck up women). 

Like you though, I'm not a huge talker.  Don’t get me wrong, I do like to talk when the mood fits, but I feel far more in my comfort zone when in small groups.  I don't thrive on public speaking or vocalizing in very large gatherings, although I think this is good from time to time to challenge yourself.

If you are a born introvert, and let's not forget that the vast majority of people are, and this introversion is mainly personality based (hence you could be someone who can put on extroverted exterior, yet have no inner confidence at all), then it will be very difficult to move more than a couple of notches to the right side of extroversion. 

Nevertheless, there are ways that will allow you to gain a more extroverted character:

Life experience

Age will play a part due to simple life experience, or a lack of it.  As you grow through the years, you can draw from what worked successfully and what failed.  However, age can also make people more introverted, as they are more aware of failure and consequently doubt their worth in comparison to their younger and cockier self.  Women getting older will go through this self-doubting process, up until the point when they completely take themselves out of the competition.

Life tribulations

As a by-product to the above explanation, life’s tragedies can bizarrely allow more extroversion to creep into your make-up.  In my case it was hugely proportionated by a serious cancer illness, and the perspective this disease naturally brought about.  It allowed me to take a step back and assess aspects like my place and role in the world, how people viewed me, what I believed worked well or otherwise, wasted time on lost causes in conjunction to energy that could be spent elsewhere, and analysing what truly matters to me.  I guess, in an almost subconscious way, it allowed me to focus more on myself.  The biggest extroverts will, rest assured, be these selfish, independent and care-free souls of the earth.

Caring less

To ascertain a more extroverted demeanour, you will pure and simply have to care less what people think about you.  This isn’t to say you can go by the attitude of taking on the world by yourself, as this will only alienate you from the masses.  Even if the masses – hence ego driven women and blue pill believing males - annoy the hell out of you, there are far more benefits in getting them on side than rowing constantly in the opposite direction.  This can be implemented by unspoken knowledge, and without the need to be too nice and passive.  By caring less, this allows you to walk through life with the stress, self-consciousness and insecurity weight taken off your shoulders.  Free like a bird…

Dismiss the outcome mindset

As a follow on from the above, and nothing epitomizes this more than men who can become intimidated by women, you must erase outcome dependence and fear of rejection or failure out of your system.  It’s never easy, as the modern day is more exposed, judgemental and unforgiving than ever, but he who cares little about what the result is will be he who laughs it all off.  This ignorance to the “what might happen” obsession should once more enable you to enjoy the interactions, dealings, debates and misunderstandings with people, often leaving you with pity rather than aggression projected onto them, and to not become too determined by conclusions.  Art genres may be best served by a great beginning and end, but human interaction, if you hold desires to obtain the most out of it in a productive fashion, is all about what goes in between.

Not confusing extroversion with excessive verbal delivery

This is an important and overlooked part of an extroverted portfolio.  Many people will associate, wrongly in my view, that extroverts need to be the life and soul of the party, the leaders, and the dominating talkers of the group.  Whilst I accept a decent level of input is required to be perceived as extroverted, people who talk too much, too loud, too long without pause or waiting for others to respond, interrupt frequently, or are poor listeners come across as arrogant and self-obsessed.  There’s a fine line between portraying confidence and arrogance.  Famous men may be able to get away with this, and the highest status men in a corporation will do so likewise to a degree, but in 95% of situations this over-bearing style will not reap rewards.

This style is all the more unproductive when you are dealing with women who attain low confidence, because they will feel too inferior in comparison.  In generations gone by, this was the commonplace as seen – timid woman, with the bread-winning and dominating husband leadership.  I do accept this trend has shifted far too much to the wrong extreme in the last 15 to 20 years – lapdog men nodding their heads to women with egos bigger than their objective worth – but a balance is required. 

Men who stand out, and more pertinently men who are admired the most by women, are also great listeners.  It’s no good talking all the time simultaneous to poor posture or over-exerting mannerisms.  People judge others on body language and tone far more than what they say.  So for the quieter men out there, don't necessarily see this as a major weakness.  Use these efforts accordingly. 

Game/Red Pill awareness/Female emotional psychology knowledge

Yes, you’re absolutely right in terms of game and its side sisters improving your aspirations of extroverted mannerisms.  Why?  Game in itself, and the proactivity it installs in a man, offsets as many alpha male traits as feasibility caters for. 

Needless to say, the highest calibre men are extroverts in most character attributes.  I emphasize “most”, as it is rare for a man to tick every single extroverted box.  In my opinion, David Beckham, whilst one of the most desirable men (in the eyes of women and men) to be in the world, is an extrovert by visual delivery rather than instinct.  In other words, his look smacks out extroversion yet his persona could be interpreted as introversion.  He has naturally improved the latter over a course of high profile exposure, yet you can’t ever quite take oversight of the shy boy that never left him.  On the other hand, someone like Justin Timberlake or Will Smith do not stand out as much to the naked eye in respect to photo shot extroversion, but they carry out their body language, humour, verbal delivery and general character far more positively and memorably than Beckham.

Red Pill awareness also offers an easier transition to extroversion, as the painful truth that cannot be ignored from this literature derives in a clearer comprehension, even if not accepting it should happen, to how the true world plans out.  I believe most introverted men are a coming together of a stressed, nervous, head-scratching, question-asking, low-confident, anxious and bitter robot, and this is primarily due to never quite understanding why life is the way it is.

Finally for this section, knowledge of the way a female mind works in emotional, psychological and male selectivity aspects enables a man to take women less seriously, almost to the point where they cannot disrupt you like they once did prior to learning this unofficial degree course.  In truth, a couple of years learning about women will save you far more money, time and effort than the doctorate certificate and an 80 hour a week job costs to feed an unappreciative, over-expectant, self-entitled and  materialistic woman who is a perishable item in a world of millions who can replace her.  When the seriousness is removed from the automated belief that women need to be your priority, combined with knowing why they act the way they do, a relaxed approach to life is a firm grasp of reality.  Again, relaxation and a stress-maintained life manifests in extroverted deliverables.

Acknowledging the treasures of life

If you were to ask a hundred men what their greatest concerns in life are, and they answer honestly (as, unlike women, most men do speak from honest veins), I would expect the responses to be lion shared based on work, money and women.  Do you see a common link between the three?  I certainly do.

When you take into account all the above sub-headings and relevant explanations, it doesn’t take much to establish that men feel the need for women in their day to day life, women feel the necessity to be provided for by money (and far more than the basic essentials in this day and age), and money is the fixture of work.

But what if you were to take the first out of the equation in not thinking the be all and end all is a life-long soulmate with one woman?  If so, how important would money still be to you?  If not so much, would you feel the need to slave your guts off at work for just one woman, only for her to ask for more tomorrow?  Even if you are satisfied with the one woman you deeply and genuinely love, what’s the worst that can happen when you say “no” to her?

Furthermore, how worse off would your life be without that one special woman you saw in the fairy-tale movie as a kid?  Would it even allow you to accomplish more in life, without the hassle that goes with it? 

***** A final thought *****

I’m an advocator that the genes we are born with make up 90% of the person we are until our late teens/early 20s.  Some grab hold of their life at this point, some take longer and grasp it before 30 strikes, but others aren’t born with such courage, savviness or dedication to put the wrongs right, and they barely ever change for the better.

I don’t mind admitting that my late Father, god bless his soul, was one of the least confident adults I knew, and this view of mine has only been reinforced as I’ve got older.  He didn’t even have the confidence or social astuteness to come to my school parent’s evenings.  My Mum, although coming across as assured in her outside front, was faking it to a large extent.  This was probably to compensate for the lack of leadership from the male parentage side, but it’s only in later life that I took on board how she isn’t what I once saw.  So ultimately I was born with low confidence, and this made me an innate introvert.

But I learnt life.  I studied women - and watched what they did, whilst disregarding what they said until proven by actions.  I took a step back and realized I was almost by default, even if with reservation to ideology, destined to play the role that life designed for me.  I started to take life far less seriously, pretty much to the point where I now flirt with life and take the piss out of it when it turns its back.  I started to not care what people thought of me, and if they liked me for it then great, but if not it was no skin off my nose.  I abided by the “what’s the worst that can happen” mentality.  I refused to rely on anyone.  I valued independence and not answering to anyone more than ever, even if this meant the mass population construed me as unsociable.  They can say what they like, as ultimately the true interpretation is that I’m my own man and not a follower.  I gave less back to those who didn’t matter, yet this cost me nothing in return or retribution.   

All this may have isolated me to some, but it has transparently enamoured me to many more.  Because in a world where men are like clones, a bit of difference radiates a lot of attention, interest and intrigue.  I went from the obvious introvert (3 to 4) to the loosened extrovert (8).  I’m far happier for it.

Friday 22 May 2015

18 year gap is not enough in Hollywood

"For better or for worse, we will always tell each other what we want to hear."

As a brief post for the weekend, I came across this online article a few minutes ago that simply caught my eye by the mere heading:

Maggie Gyllenhaal: I Was Told 37 Is ‘Too Old’ for a 55-Year-Old Love Interest

For once, maybe we should applaud Hollywood casting directors et al for having the balls to be honest.  As movies, novels and TV shows are designed to suit the female ego and good feeling in the morning, afternoon and night, even by clouding women (and men for that matter) of the truth, it did surprise me to see this headline and explanation.  What's perhaps more enlightening is the actress herself confessing to this irritable circumstance, although sympathy votes, sour grapes and retribution on the film is probably the greater motive here.

Now I don't know the plot of the film, and I care little if it is released or not.  On the basis of justifying her unsuitability, it doesn't take too many brain cells rattled together to establish that it probably consists of the usual rich, powerful, high status man as the forefront character.  As his co-lead sidekick, she will need to fit the bill in terms of the typical symbol of a trophy wife female partner who men with these privileges will go for in the modern day. Unfortunately for the actress in this case, the only way a 37 year old woman could satisfy his predilections would be to look younger and hotter than her.  

So ultimately, the film has two options.  They either acquire a woman who is around the mid-30s to 40 mark - hence keeping it politically correct and realistic as possible - who looks younger than this chronological age, or they bite the bullet and take on a woman in her mid to late 20s (or early 30s at worst).  This is the simple way of the world with rich and famous men - they can secure these women with effortless closed eyes ease.  

As for the real world?  Well, as regular readers should know by now, I don't take sides of men or women.  The latter may argue this claim, but when you take a step back you will concede that truth, reality and, most importantly, real life observations are what I document.

With this in mind, it is only fair to do exactly that - speak about what is seen.  We all live in different sized towns or cities, with different dynamics that impact on how women and men will cohabit, but generally speaking you will not see many 55 year old men in the course of your visually active year alongside 37 year old women or younger.  Men who claim this is a frequent offering are lying, or they will be playing the female tendency of vying for social validation (e.g. - "I have loads of buddies who date women 20 years younger than them...").  Or it is often wishful thinking to what may happen.  But in simple numbers reality, there aren't enough high quality men in this age bracket to back up such fiction.    

Women will say this age gap is not possible outside of fame, but again, they are blinding their objectivity by the female defaulted ego and agenda attached to their visor.  It is undeniably rare, but still feasible.  When may it happen?
  • When the man looks 10 years plus younger than what is shown on his birth certificate. If she is attractive (in respect to how attractive the perennial 37 year old woman off the street can look), then he will need to have a good level of financial assets.  If she is nothing more than mediocre, this younger looking 55 year old man could be an average earner.
  • If the man is in a high charged position within a company, and the 37 year old woman (who could be decent looking and younger than 37) works there.  When this is the scenario, the power he can illustrate will attract her more towards him than many men of her own age.
  • When the 37 year old woman is physically unattractive or plain, and she has very limited options with men of all ages.  An older man will appreciate her more than men in her age bracket.
  • Money reasons - think Thai brides or similar.
  • Women (even some hot and cute women) who have incredibly low self-esteem and a high necessity to feel valued in the world.  Again, a man 18 years her senior will make her feel better about life and spend lots of dollar on her.

There may be other reasons with a little further extensive thought, but forgive me that I'm in a hurry to get to the pub.  But with my grading standards on female physical attractiveness, you will next to never see a man in his 50s with a hot woman half his age - in the real world. 

Nevertheless, and in consideration to the above points or ones you can come up with, reverse the dynamic.  Ever seen it happen the other way round?  I bet less than a handful of times in your lifetime.

Stories of this nature may upset people, mainly women post 30 of course, but it is far easier grasping the dirty reality of what happens in the world and dealing with it accordingly.  You can sail the ship of fallacy in a calm sea, but eventually you will capsize once the inevitable storm arrives.  If you choose to accept what really happens in life, a life-jacket will always be within the grasp of your survival.


Flip the probation

“Always allow opponents to believe you hold the strongest hand dealt from a pack.”

After over a decade of serious, casual, promising and dead-end relationships with women, I sometimes take a step back and reflect on the good ones and not so memorable ones.  At the end of the day, this is all part of being efficient, smart and a step ahead in dealing with women’s emotional minds – by drawing trends from the successes and failures you experience, and relating it to their varying personality traits, social backgrounds, past boyfriend characters, and maturity levels.

It made me chuckle the other day when I received the contract of employment from my impending employer.  It stated a “3 month probation period” before employment will be confirmed.  In truth, it’s a load of bollocks really.  There’s nothing to stop them finding a way to get rid of me post probation any more than during this work exercise duration.  Nevertheless, I think what amused me the most about the word is that it allowed me to look back at how past and present girlfriends have tried to manipulate relationships when with me.

Now it is only fair to balance things out, and a decent amount of ladies have lived in admiration of my existence.  This isn’t my opinion as much as the words they have announced in terms of not being good enough for me.  Although these girls, in the main, tended to derive from the clingy, possessive and suffocating female radar, I would still take this side of the bargain over other types I will go onto explain.

An equal number, give or take, have found a reasonable middle ground.  There have been spells of self-promotion, family or female friend exploitation of their worth, or sporadic moments in fishing for compliments, but these egotistic mannerisms were corresponded with transparent and frequent notifications (even if not verbal in evidence) of their vulnerabilities and insecurities.  Probably the hottest woman I have dated belonged to this compartment, and this just adds fuel to the fire that the most physically glamorous women can have the biggest self-doubts.   

Then along came a small segment in the whole scheme of a relationship lifetime so far, although I have to confess this quantity has grown and picked up pace in more recent years.  Yes, there will always be those princess wannabes who try and put you on their so called probation.  A couple of these were hot (low end hotness of 8/10 and 8.25/10), and many more were merely cute (7.5/10 as a mode quick-fire recollection). 

The reason I think it is no coincidence that nearly all of the probation broads were cute or low end hot is because they were either no more, or in most cases they were less, pleasing to the eye than me in physical impressiveness gender relativity.  This may be a familiar reading to some guys out there, when they have been in a similar instance of dating a woman no hotter than your own looks grade.  That said, the lion’s share of male population should never need to box below their weight in this respect.

The explanations to probation hunters?
  • With the exception of the best looking men who can be forgiven to an extent, if you do find yourself in the confusing place of dating a woman half a grade to a grade less attractive than you, you will generally find that the last thing the female mind thinks to do is to put you on test time.  Such is the knowledge they are lucky to have you, they will exert all their efforts to keep you pleased and interested.
Caveat to above:
This dynamic can somewhat be different with many young men aged 16-18 (typically further education level, A-levels, upper High School or equivalent) when the male is better looking than the female.  You will find that many of these better looking boys will still try so hard with their lesser looking girlfriends (or girls that age generally), such is the horniness desperation that this age brings, combined with their lack of relationship experience/game/knowledge of female emotional psychology/study of girl to guy aesthetic value ratio.

  • If you are a man dating a woman who is a clearly more physically attractive than you, their knowledge of this factor, coupled with their comprehension that many other men (often higher calibre men than you) will hunt them, results in very little inclination to place you on probation.  They will either lap up the normal occurrence of this over-appreciating boyfriend’s provision and affection, or they will just simply move on when bored or dissatisfied.  This is typical of the average looking guy who scores a low end hot girl, or even a good looking man being with a >8.75/10 top end hot chick. 
  • When on a similar level to the woman you date, or when you are a good looking man dating a cute or low end hot woman, watch out for the perennial probation tester.  In view of her upgrading aspirations, deep down she knows there aren’t feasibly many options out there who supersede your overall quality.  Equally, she has a high enough self-opinion to not even contemplate being the woman who needs to please you all the time.  With this all taken into account, the tiny female irrational mind of hers attempts to lay down tests to reassure herself that she is so, so valuable to planet earth.

How do you counter-act?

There are simple lines you can use to squash the ego that is probation inclined like “I don’t do tests”, “you’re the one on probation”, or “look at the supply and demand of us both”, but nothing comes close to actually doing nothing.  Yes, nothing.  If she tests you, purely ignore it and carry on as if she hasn’t said a word.  Just do what you do, and live your life as the independent, selfish and care-free man that attracted her to you in the first place.  Do not become the man she says she wants you to be, because rest assured, you will be the man she respects less and resents or departs from.

Not for a moment could I look myself in the mirror and document that I have always got it right.  Far from it.  I’ve been the guy who made the mistakes in falling for her tests, believing I should be lucky to have her, and ultimately delivering the wrong answers to contrived questions. 

But I’ve equally, over recent years, established what made women like me, and what made women feel indifferent or resentful of my adhering nature.  On pretty much every single occasion, there was, and remains, a common denominator.  When I signed up to their worthless probation, they were the ones looking for excuses to end it all.  When I just downright refused to get involved in it all, and in turn flipped the tests onto them, they always came running back for more. 

Monday 18 May 2015

Watch what he does

“Be remembered for a second, or be forgotten for a lifetime?”

This blog doesn’t focus on “negs” per se in their actual form.  I tend to write more about how to produce a corrective mindset in not idolizing women and, as a consequence, not being afraid of what they think of you or what the outcome will be.  In truth, and in view of the efficient advice out there in terms of negs on other blogs alongside the literature you will read on Women’s choices: men’s divorces, the two do somewhat entwine.

But a neg in words cannot come close to comprehension and validity of its value against expressions on the female recipient’s face.  Take a look at 0:50 when the male interviewer asks the question to whether Ariana Grande’s feet smell:

Priceless!  I’d donate a pound of my hard earned cash to a worthwhile charity for every time I witnessed a man implement a remark of this kind to an ego driven and high self-opinionated woman.  It certainly wouldn’t raise much money though, such is the rarity and unlikelihood of it occurring due to the vast majority of men who cannot bring themselves to think, let alone say, such a thing.

Let’s dissect the 17 seconds that follow this tremendous, yet so amusing, question:
  • The guy’s original question is linked to the anecdote just explained by Grande, so he has a valid reason to ask it.  He also further justifies it by stating she dances a lot and alludes to the fact it was an audience/viewer question (yeah, right!), so nobody can lay blame on him for disrupting her all so untouchable universe by a millimetre.  Women make a living through plausible deniability, so if you can’t beat them, join them.
  • Her immediate reaction (0:55) consists of shell-shocked amusement.  This is a lesson in itself.  Sought after women are so accustomed to hundreds, if not thousands, of men acting like over-complimenting arse kissers in their vicinity that someone who goes against the norm can cause them to enjoy it for a moment.  Granted, a neg is far more beneficial and productive when used by a man who is less physically attractive (hence in this case the interviewer with Grande) than the women he directed it on, in comparison to a man using the same line who is on her looks level or greater.
  • On 0:57, her face turns to one of slight distress and in need of self-justification that they don’t smell.  This is another valuable learning exercise for men who take the conditioned route of pedestalizing.  A woman, within reason, will always be more attracted and intrigued towards a man when she is seeking his approval.
  • At 0:58 to 0:59, two additional notes should be taken.  First, he asks once more with slight doubt to her answer’s integrity.  This illustrates confidence and power in the situation.  As a knock-on effect, this now enforces her to be a little more aggressive in her demeanour (“Nooo!!”), but again it is her on the back foot.
  • Between 1:00 to 1:03, he still continues with the lack of convinced approach, but eases her a little bit with a more genuine (at least is will come across as genuine to her) question of whether she is wearing socks.  If nothing else, this gives her an opportunity to mention a fashion item.  The subject ends in him coming across as negotiable simultaneous to her thinking that she is now believed.  Win-win scenario.
  • 1:04 to 1:06 is my favourite part.  He turns away at the same time as she goes to say something else.  But like a genius he is, the microphone is passed along to the suck up female interviewer.  Just look at that fake smile on those pretty eyes and lips as she realizes the moment has passed. 
  • Someone really should give this guy a massive pay rise.  At 1:07, as she turns to her left, he places a solid yet uncompromising arm around her mid back region, followed by a care-free, couldn’t give a crap grin to conclude it all.  Look how he chews gum throughout too.  This is what handling a woman is all about - she is nothing more than a replaceable human being who, when all is said and done, can take it or leave it.
  • But it doesn’t end there.  At 2:20 the dog has one last bite at his bone.  Now in a way of confirming “her feet don’t stink” (just to emphasize the pong that bit more), he casually drops the topic one more time.  Again, this brings her back in attempts to reassure the world that there is no odour on her part, even trying to flip the joke on him.  But in true style of his character, he just challenges her to go down on his sneakers.  And of course she doesn’t oblige and gets ratty, allowing him to make her feel bad that she brought it up.
  • And finally gentlemen, look at 2:27.  Does she end it with hostility, hatred or evil eyes?  Oh no.  Sure, this act is probably something for the cameras, but if she was totally antagonistic she could still smile in a false way without putting her arm around him.  Now, not for a moment am I saying she fancies him purely due to his attitude shown over the last couple of minutes, but she sure respects him more than a lapdog who nodded his head on the back of sycophant scripted questions.  If the physical and status bridge between them wasn’t so afar, he would more than have a chance because of the way he treated her as just another person in the world. 

Q-tip 1:
Despite their efforts to convince the planet otherwise in the form of group hugs, high fives, shouting in glee, and dancing around as if the world is so much fun, >99% of women do not possess a sense of humour.  Why?  Pure and simple, in order to have a sense of humour a person has to erase outcome dependence and fear of rejection from their mind, they must care not a jot what people think of them, and most importantly, they don’t take themselves too seriously.  Ultimately, a person with a sense of humour is a rubber ball in the face of witty and jealous comments, inferiority complex digs, or derogatory words aimed in their direction.  It all bounces off them, and deflects the ridicule on the aggressor.  All these required deliverables epitomize the polar opposite to how women carry their souls through each and every day.

Q-tip 2:
Like in this video, you will notice over time how women try and make out they are so defending and sympathetic towards their female friends when men try and take the piss.  Don’t be fooled by this “I got your back, girl” crap, as women are always envious of prettier female counterparts or those who have a higher class male partner.  Deep down, they love the thought of a more attractive woman being pegged down a step or two.   

Ariana Grande is hot, hot, hot, in a cute, cute way.  So pretty she is, but with a petite, thin body that isn’t going to make someone like me instantly hard by just looking at her.  A girl like her would look great alongside a guy like me when out together, but she wouldn’t date me if she was just a girl from up the road.  Her 8.5/10 to 8.75/10 looks rating wouldn’t leave enough for her ego to cope with the close parity relativity.  In fact, nearly all her ex-boyfriend’s mediocre to decent physical attractiveness levels (ranging from 6.75/10 to 7.75/10 if you take a look at this link, with the exception of her back-up dancer who is better looking) back me up on this thought.  I fully expect her to follow suit with this theory – a man at least a full grade or two below her looks level - in eventual marriage partner selection.  

Nevertheless, back to the main event in this post.  The proof is in the pictures, my friends.  Do you want to be the man who continuously plays safe, but who is never respected and loved in genuine ways by your female partner?  Or would you prefer to take risks, swing for the fences every now again, and secure a woman who truly and deeply desires to be with you?

Puncture her ego, to loosen those panties…

Wednesday 13 May 2015

“He’s ok to look at”

“The dog never barks when it knows the perpetrator.”

If you have experienced certain women staring in your direction with more than curiosity, on more than a couple of occasions, and with transparent sexual interest, you will not be alone. This frequency of events does not happen to many men in regularity, but it will have been inflicted on most men at least once in their existence.  To naïve and innocent men out there, it would be forgivable to think this is the main attraction cue you need in order to take things further and secure the deal.  Over time, you realize nothing more could be further from this thought mechanism and the truth.

More often than not when an indicator of interest has been sent in your direction, but subsequently followed by rejection, the relevant woman will have a boyfriend.  The question begs then, why did she look at you? 

  • It is important to remember that most men don’t exactly possess much more than an average level of physical attractiveness.  With this consideration, the respective girlfriends, fiancés or wives of these men will be going through contented emotions at best, but more likely boredom.  Women eventually choose men who are safe, but they live to regret it in later life.  So when this same woman does see a man in her periphery who is considerably easier on the eye than her male partner, her subconscious reaction and impulse causes eyes to stray in his direction.
  • Even if a woman’s boyfriend is a decent looking – hence above average looking – man, the same cycle of events will be enforced upon her as explained above when she collides with a very good looking man.  As much as men and women differ entirely in their psycho-emotional make-up, and the consequent choices that go with it, they are very much the same in terms of uncontrollable and instinctive responses to alluring features of the opposite sex.  Men look at the hottest women, and women look at the hottest men.
  • In the same pattern as above, if a woman’s male partner is pretty much similar grade in facial terms to another man she sees, if the other man attains more impressive body profile and height, she will once more be tempted to glance over.
  • Women are obsessed with what the outside public, and especially their closer social network, think of their importance to the world.  This obsession and need to feel valued is primarily and proportionally eased by securing a puppet boyfriend to idolize her life, but this positive feeling wears off over time.  So if a woman can reel over a better looking man to engage with her, it can pathetically make her believe she is still attractive.

Side-note to last point:
This female fragile pride also goes a long way to explain why many women (even hot and very cute women) take a polar opposite approach, in looking the other way and appearing like they have swallowed a wasp when walking past the best looking men.  This will be despite noticing him beforehand and finding him sexually arousing.  The thought of showing interest, and him not showing any or much interest back, is too much for her to gamble in respect to the possible doubts of her self-opinion that his apathy will place in her mind.

Are many of these women likely to adulterate, you may ask?  Well in spite of the consensus that women are of promiscuous nature in today’s society, not many will just drop their knickers for a bit of fresh pork sword.  Because although in marriage terms men and women file for divorce on infidelity grounds in equal percentage measures, far more men, given the chance, would have sex with a hotter (in relativity to his female partner) woman than a woman would have sex with a hotter man.  The reason more men don’t cheat is because they either do not have the appealing attributes to find a hotter woman, or they simply don’t believe they can upgrade.

However, obviously a minority of women do run off to hotel rooms, cheap apartments or side-alleys to feel alive with a man who will turn her on more than the one who awaits her homecoming.  From my experience, and unfortunately as a hot-blooded male who prefers younger and fresher female flesh, a woman in her early to mid-30s (usually married and with kids) is more likely to offer herself than a woman who is in her mid to late 20s (usually unmarried and without kids).  Why is this the case?

  • First, most of the younger compartment of women (mid to late 20s) are still awaiting the big wedding day and potential status of motherhood whoring.  Although a high percentage of these women will be with men who, to be kind, leave them uninspired, they are less likely to jeopardize the possibility of it going pear-shaped prior to the attention-seeking events.
  • Second, most of the older category of women (early 30s onwards) have achieved the milestone life tick off list of a house, wedding and kids, and the man who provided them with all this is now pretty much spent.  She will risk more when she has less to gain and less to lose.
  • Third, and I think this aspect is overlooked, is the fact that the older bracket of women have realized the mistakes that the younger group of women are now making.  It was all good and well placing a safe bet with the provisioning man in her 20s, but now she has, despite being proud of the children she loves as a mother, come to accept that he was never the man who gave her butterflies.  When all is said and done, the relationship was all about her.
  • Fourth, women become friendlier, more amiable, and less egocentric the older they become – and at a higher speed once the 30th birthday arrives.  All this manifests to produce a specimen that is far less hostile towards men of greater gender beauty relativity.  They will also lean on their life experience from a voice within telling them these men should have been given a chance when they (the women) were in their 20s and more appealing.  It’s almost as if they are trying to resurrect the poor decision they made 5 or 10 years ago.  

You may have noticed I excluded any information about even younger women – 18 to 23 years of age – in comparison to the elder ladies as mentioned.  In summary, these not so innocent flying chicks in this age bracket tend to fall in the middle.  They don’t have the impending big showcase days to roll the dice with like the mid to late 20s broads, but they naturally haven’t started the head in hands regret process due to their lack of experience.  Many of them also haven’t reached the stage of egoism and trust dilemmas in being with a better looking man, almost to the point where a fair proportion actually place priority on male physical attractiveness.  With this in mind, it is very much an individual based trial and error methodology.  Some will grasp for pastures new, whilst others confide in safety and idolization inclinations with less sought after men.

Non-relationship women

So if most women, and in particular women worth having, are in a relationship, why would it be that single women still reject the men they gave bed eyes to?  Ultimately, it has all been said before on this blog.  Men and women are from completely different planets in this respect.

For a moment, take a pie in the sky scenario.  A man looks at a woman who is more physically attractive than his female better half.  The woman he stared at approaches him in a warm and genuine manner, and she strikes up conversation.  If the man is single, he will take things onto the next level.  If he is attached, he will either cheat or politely decline on a loyalty and faithfulness basis.  Irrespective, the man will be friendly, polite and appreciating.

Now reverse the situation to the usual course of events.  The man approaches the woman who gave him an interest indicator.  The woman, now feeling insecure, uncomfortable, embarrassed and weaker due to her obvious signs, puts up her armoury to avoid coming across as the instigator.  Her counteracting move is to vainly convince her mind that she has no interest, and it is in fact the man who is making all the moves.  

Add on the small matter that, like no blast of magic, many of these men they looked at are on a similar or greater looks level to them (hence why they looked at the men in the first place), and of course the whole egoism ignition is turned on in knowing they couldn’t walk down the streets with a man of parity or surpassed visual grade.  A woman feels a much higher degree of self-importance when she is with a lesser looking guy.  And this isn’t even going into the lack of trust she would have with the better looking man who would holds options of plenty in the sexual market.

Q-tip 1:
The sign of a quality (therefore very rare) woman is a woman who listens more carefully to the sound of her beating heart than the sound of her thumping ego.

Q-tip 2:
When it comes to the very best looking men (outside of fame), who are ultimately the men who women sexually stare at the most, the vast majority of these women do not choose to date this tiny pocket of eye candy male population.  Nevertheless, this tidal wave of repelled emotion is not close to the irritating and despairing thought of him dating one of her female friends or foes.  Simply put, she doesn’t want him, but she sure doesn’t want anyone else to have him. 

Friday 8 May 2015

Even women sometimes help out clueless men

“Behind any smart comment, sarcastic remark or act of
self-promotion offers a direct or indirect path to the truth.”

In addition to the bulk proportion of pop songs that make up the music world – either women claiming they are the victims of love or men singing about her being his one and only object in a world of 7 billion – in addition to the isolated apologetic female act of discrete self-promotion (think of Ariana Grande’s “One Last Time” - where essentially she is explaining contrition based on breaking one man’s heart due to another man seeking her), there is a segment of releases where illustration of “girl power” is at the forefront. 

On a commuting drive this morning, I heard this song by Britney Spears featuring Iggy Azalea which made me want to piss myself once more.  But on this occasion, if you are a savvy guy, the words actually put together can assist the >80% of beta male nice guys in doing exactly what is opposite to the ridicule from these two highly talented female artists.  At this point of writing, I’m struggling to keep a straight face…

Now of course, the whole girl power phenomenon is nothing new.  If the Spice Girls were the pied pipers in the mid-nineties, others have taken on the baton in perhaps a less exposed manner to the fab UK five. 

The strange thing (or not so strange thing, once you understand the female emotional mind) about girl power songs is that they are fundamentally waxing lyrical about what they don’t truly desire in life.  Despite words you will hear from women about having a fun time in life and that the need of a man is low priority, the truth lies in what they do, rather than what they say.  What they do, sooner rather than later, is to drop all these happy go hunting and independent pastimes in favour of being with a boyfriend and future husband.  The overriding majority of women even settle for men they never visualized being with in their fairytale thoughts, because simply put, there is such a shortage of high quality men to satisfy the vast numbers of women wanting a wedding and kids to show off to the world.

Here are just some of the lyrics from Brit and Iggy-Iggs:

 All around the world, pretty girls
Wipe the floor with all the boys
Pour the drinks, bring the noise (It's Iggy-Iggs!)
We're just so pretty!
All around the world, pretty girls
Jump the line, to the front
Do what we like, get what we want
(Where you at, Brit?)
We're just so pretty!

[Verse 1: Britney Spears]
Hey, don't you know that it's always the same?
From Australia 'round to LA
You can betcha', wherever the girls go, boys follow
We be keeping them up on their times
They can laugh, but they don't get the jokes
Just you watch, they're so predictable
(Some things don't change...)

(The girls roll up)
Windows roll down
(Eyes on us)
Jaws on the ground
(Watch them go)
It's just so funny
(Like bees to the honey!)

Tell me, is it true that these men are from Mars?
Is that why they be acting bizarre?
Every time I walk out of my house it's like, "Hey, baby!"
They don't see me rolling my eyes
They buzzing around me like flies
They got one thing on their minds
(Some things don't change...)

If you ask me, I'm killing them softly
I would spend time with you but that'd cost me
They pray that Iggy-Iggy give 'em one more chance
But busy Iggy wouldn't even give 'em one more glance
See, enter in line between the beauty and a beast
Slim waist, thick cake, the whole world want a piece
Bad girl, good (ooh) would make you lose your mind
All of the boys begging Britney, hit 'em one more time

In respect to this load of trollop, but in general terms too, let me provide some reasons why girl power songs are to be taken with a pinch of salt, and in fact how they give reason to why the contrarian process should be implemented:
  • The whole “girls love life”, “I don’t need a man” and “independent women” crap is a fake cover up to disguise what women desire and, more importantly, what they do.  If this wasn’t the case, why do you see so many women have only short term spells (hence weeks or months) of nights out, gym attendance or career emphasis before the normal course of events is resumed that is boyfriend time.
  • Women who claim to think female collaboration, company and leadership is the way forward is contradictory to how you see women at their happiest.  Women are at their happiest when being directed by a decisive and confident man.  Again, if this wasn’t the case, why do they choose this avenue before too much time passes by.
  • Words along the lines of “I got your back for life, girl” or “my girls are my heaven” derived from female mouths are hypocritical to the eventual outcome.  As harsh as this sounds, women do not form loyal, genuine and solid friendships with members of the same gender in the equivalent way men do with male buddies, and this is all the more apparent during the younger years. If you ever doubt this view, think of how many times you have known of a woman to dump her friends (or even best friend) once she meets a decent guy.  Furthermore, when the rare high calibre man is in the vicinity of a group of women, see how loyal and fair they are then.  Cat fights!
  • In terms of the Britney Spears song as shown above, “do what we like, get what we want” is prime opposite to what makes women tick.  Women’s innate character is to fight for things that don’t come to them easily or at all.
  • Women’s sexual arousals and attraction projections despise men who follow them around and treat them like princesses.  Their egos only like these men.  So even that rich, high status man who buys them expensive drinks all night is only feeding the good feeling about their lives.  What he fails to realize is that they are sexually into him less because of these acts.
  • Even a hot woman is a number, and although that hot woman likes the thought of thinking men idolize her and that they could do no better, the reality is there are far more hot women out there than good looking men.  In consideration to good looking men with quality, but even mere decent looking men too with similar admirable metrics, the ratio of hot women to these men is even higher.  As for cute women (and cute women of 6.75/10 to 7.75/10 looks rating would be classed as “pretty”), well you can multiply by at least 10 in comparison to the female hot counterparts.
  • So with the above point in mind, and to abide with the female characteristic hunger, women are most satisfied when they do the chasing.  This isn’t always easy for a man, as most men aren’t worth chasing and they don’t hold down a profile or physical attractiveness level that will achieve female hunting, but they can still make it easier on themselves in the way of erasing supplication, sycophancy, desperation and clinginess from their interaction game.

If women can give you a hint in eradicating all the items of your dealing with them in the form of how this song writes it out, why would a man ever think to do anything but the reverse to this ridicule.  Surely you understand they are taking the mickey out of how you live your life.  If often bemuses me how men can look themselves in the mirror sometimes, living in the knowledge of how easy they make it on women to blow up their egos.  These men may justify their actions by advocating it is what, even if after exertion of blood, sweat and glory, secures the woman over time.  This blue pill belief will only be reinforced by what they hear from the lips of self-agenda and ego driven women.

But is this enough for you, I ask the question?  Are you happy with making your target woman feel better about her life, only to know it is making her repulsed by your lapdog mannerisms?  The choice is yours, but I would suggest asking what your ultimate goal with the opposite sex is.


Saturday 2 May 2015

Another song to ignore

“Your satisfaction, or their happiness?  You decide.”

As I pointed out at the close of this previous post, similar to novels, movies or pretty much any other modern day issue that involves female emotions, pop songs are also very part of this same group in making women feel better about their lives.  In essence, nearly all lyrics put together for the final song release will be to either ramp up a woman’s ego, or it allows a naïve listener to believe women are the victims in an all so love ordeal sob story.

I first heard this Megan Trainor song a few weeks ago on an Australian radio station during a long drive between cities.  I’m pretty good at most times in taking in lyrics early and comparing to what the outcome is in the real world, but the words written in this crop of shite almost gave me an excuse to pull up for a piss and puke up through either extreme cynicism or laughter.  Either way, it didn’t take me long to realize it is just another sad case of attempts to allow men, and women, that this is what produces a happy and lasting heterosexual relationship.

I’ll take a section at a time, and then give you the interpretation of what she is saying along with the actions men should really take:

“Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life.”

Woman’s ego:
I need a man who treats me like I’m the only woman there is on the planet as far as he is concerned.  He should worship the ground I walk on and make me feel truly special.

Man’s required action:
On the provision she acts accordingly when with me, she is valuable to me, but ultimately she is one component in my independent life that has many other things going on.  She has to accept me this way, and in truth, she will be happier for it.  I value and respect her, but I’m certainly not privileged to be with her.  When all is said and done, she can be replaced.

Take me on a date
I deserve a break
And don't forget the flowers every anniversary
'Cause if you'll treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need.”

Woman’s ego:
He should take me on frequent dates, with him paying for them to show how much he knows he deserves to be with me.  Flowers, oh yes, and these should be delivered to my workplace so everyone can see how much I am loved.  The more he gives, the more he will get back from me in return and be appreciated.

Man’s required action:
On the basis she earns similar to me, or even if she doesn’t, there is no reason why she shouldn’t pay for half of what we do together.  That said, I’m not going to count up each outing, and if I end up paying 60% then I won’t lose any sleep over this.  If it spirals out of control on my side, and I see her still having the money to go out with friends and buy shoes or similar, this has to be levelled off.  Flowers?  Hardly ever, and not necessarily coinciding with any anniversary.  If I treat her right all the time I will become unappreciated, unchallenging and less loved.  She will find me less sexually attractive if I make it too easy for her.  So, days of jerkiness, moodiness and apathy should be incorporated into my natural character when with her.

“You got that 9 to 5

But, baby, so do I
So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies
I never learned to cook
But I can write a hook
Sing along with me
Sing-sing along with me (hey).”

Woman’s ego:
Knowing how lucky he is to have me, it doesn’t matter if I can’t do the traditional female duties of cooking.  He can do that, as well as everything else that I need from him. 

Man’s required action:
Ok, so she can’t cook to start with.  No drama.  She can learn over time to the point where she contributes half of the cooking, and if she is just naturally useless at it, she can make up for it with other house duties that take up as much time.  If she complains about my cooking, then fine, she can make her own.  Just don’t expect me to hang around if this means she piles on the pounds due to take-away food.

“You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright.”

Woman’s ego:
Again, he loves me for who I am.  If he doesn’t tolerate me during my bad days, he sure don’t deserve me during my good days.

Man’s required action:
She’ll be treated like a lady on infrequent occasions and when she deserves it only.  When she’s acting crazy, she either gets out the way or shuts up until she is ready to stop being delusional.  I’m an honest guy, and I’m not going to tell her what she only wants to hear.  If that means everything isn’t going to be alright, then she will hear it.  But, providing she is acting in the correct manner, I’ll help her make it become alright.

“Dear future husband,
Here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special lovin'
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night.”

Woman’s ego:
If he is a real man, he will tell me how beautiful I am all the time.  This will make me happy, and a happy me makes a happy him.  Then he will get the best of me.

Man’s required action:
If I tell her she is beautiful all the time, this is a risk of complacency on her part.  A woman who doesn’t try to stay in shape, or thinks she doesn’t need to stay in shape, basically will not stay in shape as her motivation to do so fragments.  A woman who is too comfortable in a relationship is more likely to let herself go than a woman who is on her toes with a high calibre man who attains options in the sexual market.  This over comforting mentality benefits nobody, as I see a less glamorous figure at the end of the bed, and she acts resentful for not looking as admirable as her potential allows. 

“After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right
Even if I was wrong
You know I'm never wrong
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?

Woman’s ego:
A gracious man is a man who apologizes, agrees, accepts and backs down.  This is just a by-product of knowing what he has and taking me for who I am.  He’ll reap the rewards from this lap-dog character in the way of my sexual favours. 

Man’s required action:
Yeah right!  No chance, if she is wrong, she will be told so.  I won’t cause arguments for arguments sake, but passiveness is the recipe for sexless men.  The best sex women give, and have, is when they are put in their place by men, not when they are made to feel like an angel who can do no wrong.  Too right I’ll be disagreeing – primarily for my advantage, but also to provide for her innate character make-up.

“Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life (hey, baby)
Dear future husband,
Make time for me
Don't leave me lonely
And know we'll never see your family more than mine.”

Woman’s ego:
He’ll always be there for me, at any time I need him.  My friends will know of this too, and it illustrates how special I am.  When I’m lonely, he will drop his plans to be with me every time.  I’m his world, and I love this.  By prioritizing my family ahead of his, well this is just another signature of his love towards me.

Man’s required action:
She is important to me, but I’ll still do my own things first.  Sure, if she is really ill and has nobody to look after her, then I may be there for her, but that will be an isolated occurrence.  I’ll see her when it benefits me, as I’m quite sure she wouldn’t see me if she had something better on.  Family time…no, we will see each other’s family in equal measures, if all else is equal on distance from our residences. 

“I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (hey)
Open doors for me and you might get some kisses
Don't have a dirty mind
Just be a classy guy
Buy me a ring
Buy-buy me a ring, babe.”

Woman’s ego:
A woman’s ideal man is a guy who is a gentleman, he lets his girlfriend have her own way, he doesn’t check out other women, he doesn’t make dirty or sexual innuendo comments, and he is pure and innocent.  That’s class!  He’ll buy me a ring after months of dating to show his affection and commitment.  Then I can show this off to the world.

Man’s required action:
Well I don’t mind her sleeping on the left side of the bed, as I prefer the right side anyway.  Opening doors?  Providing it doesn’t break my stride then fine, but I’m not standing on ceremony for this.  I say what’s in my head, and if that includes a sexual reference then so be it.  Women may say they like a butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth man, but then watch how they are attracted to men using care-free words.  There is a difference between a class guy who doesn’t need to use obscenities, but likewise isn’t afraid what people think of him.  Women find that the most attractive – sexually and in partner terms.  I’m not buying her an expensive bling ring until I’m serious in marrying her.  If she wants to buy herself a ring to wear on the commitment finger, then this is no skin off my nose.

I’m actually not that much against Megan Trainor.  In a world of inundated uninspiring pop music, the songs I’ve heard from her are relatively catchy.  Nevertheless, what does make me chuckle is the lyrics from her first release – “All About That Base”.  It was aimed to make the, let’s just say, more “rounded” girl feel good about herself and believe that many men like these female body dimensions.

The problem with this song, and I recall thinking this myself at the time, is that if you are going to shout out words of any kind, you need to back it up with consistency.  If this advocating language is compromised, you can come across as a hypocrite and inevitably lose credibility. 

And in my opinion, the inevitable happened with Trainor.  It was all good and well coming out with “big girls win” flag flying, but it didn’t take long for me to see her far more glamoured and glittered up during the 2015 Grammy Awards, and view photographs that clearly made her look much slimmer.  If this was natural weight loss, and I don’t think it was, it is still every bit as much a contradiction from what was first broadcasted.  

Treat women’s words like chirping spring chicks nested in the tree next to your bedroom.  At first you think it is cute and endearing, but over time you realize that it is simply annoying, irritable and to be taken with a pinch of salt.  And as time passes by further, you totally choose to ignore them.