Tuesday 30 September 2014

How easy is it for a hot girl to find a rich famous man?

“You can’t blame people for having a dream. 
It’s just those who don’t have a plan B you feel pity for.”

Despite some who will protest to the contrary, it must be every woman’s dream to track down a rich and famous man who can give her the dream ticket to a perceived fairytale life.  The MTV lifestyle, fast cars, a six bedroom mansion, open credit card shopping sprees, glamour parties, and an alarm clock that never goes off in the morning.  All this whilst her female friends are grinding it out during another boring day in the office, with a husband or boyfriend who doesn’t inspire them to return to.  There’s little wonder, with all this slapped in front of their faces from media promotion, that so many women have a look on their face that would suggest they have just been slapped by a big wet kipper.

However, for some of them it is not so much of a daydream as much as a conceivable reality.  Or is it?  For the most physically attractive of women, and I mean the top 0.2%, the visions they see on TV and in magazines may be within their grasp.

Make no mistake about it, famous men, whether it is on an international, national or more local level, can take their pick of almost any woman out there.  I say almost, because one particular man in this category may not be able to secure a woman already taken by his better looking, richer, more famous and powerful rival.  But all this man would have to do is go to the next hot woman.  And this kind of leads me onto the pronounced obvious occurrence: famous men can select the hottest of women, pretty much like the richest sports clubs will purchase the most talented players.  But in the sheer supply and demand field, it isn’t so straight forward to say this is also the case for all of the hot women.

It always amuses me when I see archives from the wives of English top league footballers some 25 years ago in comparison to today’s equivalents.  Allowing for the evolution of cosmetic enhancement and fashion, very few of the females from yesteryear were of second glance material.  Dare I say it, some of them were even quite rough looking who I wouldn’t touch with yours.  Fast forward time and I barely see any Premiership footballer involved in the modern game who isn’t accompanied by one of the hottest women.  Outrageous salaries, fame and high profile go without saying to be the main pulling points.  Although only a small percentage of these sports stars are facially good looking per se, the natural requirement for height and physique from the contemporary demands elevate their overall physical attractiveness too.  For women, the motivations are clear.  An easy life, limitless money to spend and validation of self-importance manifest as an existence that surpasses a big lottery win.  The lottery win is only money.  A life with a famous star also leverages her ego.

As a regular good looking guy who makes no apology in attaining natural predilections for the best looking women, I went through a short phase of being obsessed in thinking every one of these girls would be with one of these kinds of rich and famous men.  But with more thought put towards the whole concept, in combination with firm observations, in retrospect I needn’t have been anywhere near as concerned as I was.  Don’t get me wrong, if I was in a relationship with an excessively beautiful woman who was being propositioned by a high profile guy of this type, I would have no choice but to step aside on nearly any given occasion.  This may seem like a cop out, but there’s no point fighting it if she showed apparent interest.  No amount of male physical attractiveness, personality, charisma and interaction strategy could prevent her temptations to the lure of this life.  But as I will explain in numbers terms, this is a dilemma of remote possibility.

Take a look and digest the below figures:

DCFC Players
Associated male celebs (if any) / other sports stars of repute
Assumed 10 DCFC players married or "committed" with hot woman
Total famous & rich local men
Population  from 2012
Amber Valley Borough
Bolsover District (76,400 population)
Taken as 50% due to half Nottingham
Derbyshire Dales District (53,475 population)
Allowed 75%, as 25% other cities
Erewash Borough (122,800 population)
50% as Ilkeston/Long Eaton as Notts
High Peak Borough (91,100 population)
Allowed 50%
North East Derbyshire District (99,300 population)
Not classed, as nearer South Yorks
South Derbyshire District (96,000 population)
75% due to some in Burton-on-Trent
Derby City
Total Derby City & others as above
Not included Chesterfield, NE Derbyshire, 50% of Bolsover, 25% of Derbyshire Dales District,
50% of High Peak Borough, 25% of South Derbyshire or 50% of Erewash Borough
UK Population 2012
UK Female Population 2012
UK Male Population 2012
Derby City & surrounding area Female Population
Hot women in Derby City & area (ratio of 1 in every 504 UK females)
% chance of Hot woman locating famous & rich local man
Cute women in Derby City & area (ratio of 1 in every 56 UK females)
% chance of Cute woman locating famous & rich local man

The numbers

This analysis is taken from my local city of Derby and its relative surrounding areas.  It is important to allow for the areas in the vicinity as Derby would be the nearest major destination these inhabitants would select for occupations, shopping trips, nights out or overall social gatherings.  As you can see, I have allowed certain percentage reductions for districts bordering other counties.  The female/male split is based on the same UK percentages from 2012 population statistics.  In the case of Derby, the only true high profile men are Derby County Football Club first team playing staff.  Out of the 25, I have gone on the basis that 10 of these men will already be involved with hot women.  Remember that many players sign for a club from another city and bring their current hot female partner.  This is far from saying they will not “play away” with other women on many instances, but apart from an ego boost, this is no profit to a female seeker.  The whole point is to lock him down and reap the longer term rewards.  Although I don’t know of any, I’ve thrown in 5 additional male celebrities for good measure.  If anybody has the inclination to challenge me on these numbers then they are more than welcome.  The numbers will not be far out.

I have then taken my own designed “Hot Girl To Hot Guy Ratio” figures to ascertain the quantity of hot women from this area.  This figure (1 hot woman out of every 504 females) gives a total of 643 hot women in the Derby and surrounding area.  From my visits to other UK cities, I wouldn’t say that, as a ratio, Derby is particularly high or low on against the average.  Push me to an answer and I’d say lower, but this would be negligible.  By the way, based on my visits to many European cities, the UK cute girl percentages are significantly below the baseline impressiveness from Spain, France, Germany, Portugal, Italy and Eastern Europe.  But in my home country’s defence, the hottest women here can live with the best of them.  I stand by this visual opinion: the hottest 0.2% of UK women can stand up to any other country in the world.  It’s the tiers below (hence cute, average and ugly) of women who would be seen as less alluring than the comparative European female counterparts.

Other cities and their associated adjacent areas will have more, or less, famous personnel.  However, these cities will naturally have aligned populations.  Give or take the odd city of lob-sided beauty or grotesqueness, the percentage of hot and cute women will be similar to Derby.  With this in mind, application of these figures could be used on any other place.

The chances?

So this is why it cannot be viewed upon as an easy task for a hot woman to land her hook on a famous man’s neck.  Some of them are probably even seeing the odd WAG who is no more, or less, eye catching than the mirror reflection.  Unfortunately ladies, like anything else it takes fortune of being in the right place at the right time as well.  In essence, a 1 in 32 chance is not impossible, but it is far from playing the game of averages.  But given an opportunity with no other aesthetically pleasing women in sight, grab it with both hands.

I’ve also shown the cute women probabilities, because I know there are many women in this segment who perhaps think, more in vain hope than true belief, that they are hot.  The only way to get an objective grasp on this is to pin your mirror reflection up against the perennial footballer’s trophy girl.  Granted, these lucky women will have time and money to optimize their look that you can only imagine, and it may be that they are no more naturally gifted than you.  But if you are one of these girls harboring ambitions of the next England superstar pulling up at your house in his new Maserati, I’ll buy you a drink if you prove me wrong on a 1 in 321 (as you are also up against the hot girls) probability.

Strike whilst the oven’s hot

It’s worth pointing out that, if the 18 to 23 years of age dispute in respect to women’s peak sexual value to men is ever put in doubt, maybe a Google search on when the vast majority of these famous men met their current partners would be a worthwhile exercise.  My hunch tells me it is between this age range.  This is why it is imperative women must strike when the oven is hot if they place emphasis on locating the highest calibre man possible over and above anything else life offers.  However, unlike regular women, females belonging to the rich and famous men often go on to look even better in their late 20s or early 30s than their younger self of years before.  Needless to say, this is because the money and time offers them a route to this luxury. 

But even in the world outside of celebrities or high profile, if women do live the right way they can, in my opinion, look more pleasing to the eye as they develop through to their mid 20s.  Occasionally (and I mean occasionally), women can even preserve their optimum look into their late 20s, but these visions are few and far between.   These women are also usually more personable human beings.  Only a select few get there, because they take a different path, life stresses take the toll, or sexual evolution overpowers the endeavours.  It’s a balancing act, because women want marriage and kids before they reach their potential beauty slide.  This choice or decision stops them from ever getting there.

Men should take note in the fortune that they should be able to look physically better in their early 30s than in their 20s.  Again, on rare instances you will find men who stretch this luxury into their mid to late 30s.  For not dissimilar reasons to women, not many of them get there.  The fear of loneliness takes them to a life that lives alone, even though not in a literal manner.  Once a man commits to a woman, it never stops to amaze me how many of them no longer look after their physique or look.  Many men let themselves go in order to please their woman in dedicating all time to her.  Some of them think she will never leave once they are fully committed.  Then poof, all that reliance on one person can be gone in a blink, and he has to start all over again.  He’d have been better off looking after his own welfare and putting himself first.   Life is never easy, is it?

Acknowledgments and further reading

Saturday 27 September 2014

Male t-shirts and the messages they portray

“Advertise the product.  Your most valuable product is yourself.”

Like most men out there, I have a collection of t-shirts that represent various designers, colours and fittings.  One element of the t-shirt offering that has recently struck my train of thought is the message, or emblem, that sends off a projected sign onto women in moving their emotive feelings.

As one of the more eye catching guys out there – in facial features and body profile – I can speak first hand that a certain garment of clothing can make or break top end physically attractive men’s success with women.  In truth, there are many variables that will determine the fluctuation of their emotions when they see what they see.  If it enhances a man’s look, the likelihood is only women who are not adversarial to male impressive viewing, or women who are conscious they are still above him in physical attractiveness relativity, will embrace the vision he produces.  Most other women, with the exception of his mother, will likely greet it with jealousy, hostility, insecurity and knowledge of him being unattainable. 

Women are instinctive, and they are certainly not stupid in respect to physical attractiveness comparison and the way men’s minds work.  They know the vast majority of men strive to locate a woman who is at least as aesthetically impressive as himself.  Those men who do not succeed in this deliverable are usually because they are extremely good looking but lacking in other desirable metrics (as most hot women seek out high status men who are likely to be lesser looking), or they are men with little confidence or knowledge of interaction strategy and female emotional psychology.  In the latter case, they take this safer bet in a not dissimilar manner to how most women will place subconscious predilections to not date a better looking man.  It’s rare for anyone to fulfill true happiness through this chain of events.

Nevertheless, as over 95% of men would be classed as falling into the average looking category when assessed upon the whole male adult population, it’s needless to say that a more eye catching dress style, within reason, will predominantly improve their attraction onto women.  This also further applies to ugly men.  Both average looking and ugly men should take advantage of the clothing luxury that pleases, rather than repels, women.

The two t-shirts I will make reference to are items I have owned for over 6 years.  Lucky for me, they still fit and haven’t been passed by other trends.  Both of them are well fitted.  In the case of the first t-shirt, it has a picture and writing of “Superman”.  I can honestly and genuinely say that when I first saw it hanging in the boutique, my first thought was how good the t-shirt looked.  For the first few years it was only a passing thought to the fact some people may have thought I believed I was a “super-man”.  However, passing comments in more recent years brought about fresh thinking towards people’s perceptions.    

The second t-shirt had a large centre logo of a playboy magazine cover front from the 1970s.  It also states the word of “Playboy”.  Again, the literal meaning played little part, and back then I wouldn’t have even known of the dictionary definition of a playboy.  My primary mind was tuned towards the fit, colour and eye catching emblem. 

Six years on, and it brings a rise smile to my face in terms of how women, and some men, have responded during nights out.  What strikes me the most with women’s reactions aligns with my general belief to how you should view female emotions when faced with their thinking towards men.  They know not what they want, and they say not what they do.  In translation: how their poignant behaviour was conducted could soon be contradicted by how they ultimately acted with me.  Derogatory and condescending comments about the words on the t-shirts were swiftly followed by more intimate and future proposals. 

So taking each garment separately: why was this the case?  Why was a negative verbal delivery ended with a consequential positive outcome?  Now, the cynic will say that a woman needs a level of attraction in the first place and it will eventually overpower any other emotion.  This is true to a degree, but as explained earlier, stand out dress sense for a high physically attractive man can also have the adverse effect and it results in being counter-productive.

With the “Superman” t-shirt, or one showing a similar message, an immediate common female response is to make a woman think that a man who has the audacity and apparent arrogance to wear something of this nature is a complete vain asshole who could never be good relationship material to her.  Most women, and especially hot women, do not take a liking to a visual of a man in sight who is objectively as, or more, eye catching than them.  Until a woman has committed to a man, or she has made a conscious decision to contemplate a future with him, she feels the desired need to believe a man is always attainable to her.  It’s her way of convincing herself she isn’t missing out on anything.  However, her visceral feelings are telling her something else.  A logo of this kind illustrates confidence, superiority and uniqueness.  All these traits are high up on a woman’s wish list.  As always, the ultimate emotions are far more valid than negative primary thoughts. 

The “Playboy” t-shirt would also take a woman through a similar process.  The instincts within her enforce a reaction of believing this man is too big for his own boots, or a cocky self-indulged guy she would never go near.  Her safer average male partner is a far better option, or at least this is what she tries to tell herself.  A woman does not want a man who would cheat on her, but she does want a man who could potentially cheat on her.  In other words, no woman, unless she is of total low calibre (hence, extremely physically unattractive), holds cravings to be with a man who no other woman finds attractive.  So a t-shirt that signals messages of pre-selection, higher status, exclusivity and a desired man is everything a woman could ask for in a quality sexual mate.  He may not be, but what is more important in time restricted environments is how she perceives him to be.  After this, he can use his charisma, personality, interaction strategy and knowledge of women to seal the deal.

In the case of both t-shirts, all they fundamentally achieved was to deflate a woman’s ego and feeling of self-superiority.  This may sound like a bad predicament, but wise people know that a woman who is constantly comfortable in the presence of a man – in interaction, dating or relationship phase – is a woman who will end up resenting being with him.  And she will likely resent herself first, but her default is to take it out on the man she is underwhelmed with.  Whenever a woman’s ego is prickled, to an extent and at the right moments, she is more sexually attracted to him.  Women don’t like things to come easily to them when it involves an intimate dynamic with a man.  They like to see his higher value.

You will sometimes see or hear a woman use the words of “gorgeous”, “hot” and “sexy” in the direction of her lesser looking, and usually average looking, boyfriend.  This is a woman’s deployment to raise value onto him, over and above what the outside world see in objective form.  Deep down, the woman voicing these adjectives is fully aware of her over-hyped promotion towards his physical attractiveness level, but she is vainly attempting to reassure her mind that nothing is being missed out on in her life.  She is also weakly trying to convince the watching world that she is so “happy” with what she has.  A woman sitting in this predicament will know she could have done better in looks stakes, and she knows there are inundated men out there who she finds more appealing in a sexual way, but confidence, trust, insecurity and egoism issues never quite allowed her to go down that route.  

When all is said and done, if t-shirts of this magnitude can enhance good looking men’s fortunes, it will be two-fold and three-fold in beneficial multiples for average looking and ugly men respectively.  Next time a man purchases a t-shirt, he may be prudent to translate the message into how a woman will sexually perceive him to be once it is placed over his shoulders.       

Tuesday 23 September 2014

UK Physical Attractiveness Numbers

"Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning." (Benjamin Franklin)

On the back of a previous post, this will give readers further thoughts to the physical attractiveness levels within the UK, and the impact this has on the current day dating and relationship market.  Take note of the caveats at the bottom.

United Kingdom population: July 2012                       63,047,162
Male Population                                                            31,310,734
Female Population                                                       31,736,428

Ages 0-14                                                                     17.3% (of population)
Male                                                                               5,597,024
Female                                                                           5,321,456

Ages 15-24                                                                  13% (of population)
Male                                                                               4,198,579
Female                                                                          4,024,261

Ages 25-54                                                                   41.2% (of population)
Male                                                                              13,192,240
Female                                                                          12,761,989

Ages 55-64                                                                  11.6% (of population)
Male                                                                              3,589,996
Female                                                                         3,693,553

Ages 65+                                                                     16.9% (of population)
Male                                                                              4,732,895
Female                                                                         5,935,169

Hot and Cute women

Ages 15-54                                                                    16,786,250
Estimate 75% aged 15-40                                          12,589,658
Top 5% of physically attractive women aged 15-40 are cute (7/10+) to hot (8/10+) 
12,589,658 x 5% (generous!)                                      629,484 cute to hot women
1 in 10 (10%) of these women is hot
629,484 x 10%                                                              62,948 hot women in UK
629,484 - 62,948                                                          566,536 cute women in UK
31,736,428/62,948                                                       1 in every 504 females are hot in UK
31,736,428/566,536                                                     1 in every 56 females are cute in UK

On the basis that between ages of 16 to 40 hot and cute women are 3.5 times more prevalent to be seen than hot and above average looking men respectively, these are the respective male statistics:

Hot and Above Average Looking Men

62,948/3.5                                                                    17,985 hot men in the UK
31,310,734/17,985                                                      1 in every 1741 males are hot in UK
566,536/3.5                                                        161,867 above average looking men in UK
31,310,734/161,867                                          1 in every 193 UK men are above average


Ratio of hot women to hot men                                    3.5 : 1
Ratio of cute women to hot men                                  31.5 : 1
Ratio of hot women to above average men                   1 : 2.6
Ratio of cute women to above average men                 3.5 : 1


Males aged 15-54 in UK                                             17,390,819
Estimate 75% aged 15-40                                         13,043,114
13,043,114 - 161,867 - 17,985                                  12,863,262 average looking to ugly men  
Average looking to ugly men aged 15-40                  12,863,261


Ratio of hot women to average/ugly men                  1 : 204
Ratio of cute women to average/ugly men                1 : 23


The above numbers show how much power the hottest women – mainly those up to 25 years of age, but some (albeit far, far less) up to and beyond 30 – hold in the sexual marketplace.  They can take their pick and name their price to all the naïve men out there.  Whether it is the best looking men, the highest status men, the wealthiest men or a simple safe choice average guy, they have a lot of options. 

Cute women don’t have the luxury, unless by opportune moments or huge fortune of right place and right time, to pick out the highest status and wealthiest men.  These men are usually taken up by the hot women.  If secure enough, they would have a better chance with the extreme hot men out there, but they would most likely need to be very cute (7.5/10 to 7.75/10) rather than run of the mill.  The reality is that of the 566,536 estimated cute women, the vast majority (I’d go 90%) will sit at the lower end (7/10) of cuteness.  However, you only need to look at the vast amounts of average looking men in the world, some who will also be high calibre in other metrics, to see that their choice to stay single is exactly that – choice.  Because the majority of these average looking men will be with not dissimilar (but slightly better looking) female partners, a chance to grade up to a cute girl is there to be had.  These men might not be an ideal choice for a cute woman, but she only has to click her fingers if the single life is too hard to handle.

Caveat 1:
Rounding of numbers will have a negligible, but mathematical, discrepancy on values and ratios given.

Caveat 2:
It’s valid to point out that some women above the age of 40 are cute.  Very few would be classed as hot.  With this in mind, the numbers are so minimal that they would barely alter the figures as shown.  With men, there will be a greater number above the age of 40 who are above average looking than relative cute women, and there will be a higher number, in relativity to women, of hot men over 40.  Again, these men are exceptions in percentage terms, and this undeniable consequence would only serve to have a very small effect on the overall ratios.

Caveat 3:
The ratios of hot and cute women given are based on the whole UK population.  This includes babies, young children and elderly people.  The same applies to the ratios for hot and above average looking men.  The purpose of this analysis is for an indication to how many people, in a random environment, somebody would need to walk past before seeing one belonging in this criterion.

Caveat 4:
These are my observational opinions.  If anyone holds urges to challenge, I welcome it with open arms.  If anything, I think I’m being extremely generous to my fellow compatriot’s beauty rank.  In other words, the numbers of cute and hot women, along with hot men, would be lower instead of higher than shown.   

Saturday 20 September 2014

Women wearing engagement rings

“Never tell an expert how to do their job,
and instead humbly tell them what you would like doing.”

If I could pinpoint one decisive error I made with judgments of women in my younger and more naïve days, it would be the misinterpretation of how important an engagement ring was if seen on a female I was sexually attracted to.  For that matter, I would have also misconstrued in a similar fashion with women I was not keen on, as the principle is the same on both counts.

The first time I questioned the whole validity of rings of any kind seen on the female commitment finger was when I occasionally watched American reality TV programs, and similar in kind.  Certain girls or women would be sporting a ring on the left hand finger that is always associated as being committed to a man (or another woman these days), yet then in the midst of conversation they would allude to being single.  In any case, they were most certainly not engaged.  Maybe this is a North American thing, and I have not spent enough time there to know one way or the other in terms of the reasons behind this common observation.

First and foremost, I think it is only fair for women to know how most guys would assess an engagement ring on a woman in comparison to a woman not exploiting the same piece of jewelry.  Some women do have a tendency to arrogantly and ignorantly stroll through life claiming to not give a care about what men think of them, and that men must abide with who she is and what she does, but they can’t have it both ways.  If a woman doesn’t care what men think to her, then fair enough, but then don’t go moaning that they are not too proactive towards your existence due to the choices you have made.  So in respect to all this, I pretty much speak for the majority of the male population that, if all else is equal – which in the main is your comparative physical attractiveness -  we would pursue the woman not wearing an engagement ring and form a reluctance towards her female counterpart who is showing the bling. 

Nevertheless, engagement rings do not tell much of a story behind how much in love and infatuated a woman is with the man who bought it for her.  Sure, he will be her boyfriend in a relationship status manner, but you need to see the truth behind the diamonds to ascertain the likely future avenues they will take.  Will it lead to the altar, or is the more likely event one of him being left with a broken heart – with or without the ring left behind?

It is pertinent to understand why a woman would most like to wear an engagement ring, irrespective to how much intention she has for being with the man for a lifetime.  I offer you 3 main explanations:

  • The vast majority of women take comfort in the internal and external knowledge of attaining a boyfriend.  The internal need derives from feeling special and knowing someone loves her, whilst the external requirements are a recipe that is the natural innate female concern to how people perceive her.  With most women, the absence of a boyfriend can cause enormous doubts in their minds with relevance to their whole worth to the world.  An engagement ring dispels, in her mind at least, any such vulnerability.
  • Nearly all women, of all shapes and sizes, positively feed off a level of attention that is received from both men and women alike.   Some need it more than others, but what cannot be denied is 99% of women require it more than 99% of men.  This will usually come in the form of how great they look or how “cool” they are, but other methods can be found too.  Once more, the knowledge of an engagement ring on her finger will project more eyes onto her existence.
  • A woman is an emotional wreck competitive animal, and although they will all come across as smiley and genuine in the face of their female peers being happy with their relative male partners, just about each and every one of them wants to believe her relationship is that bit more special and important than the next one.  Place an engagement ring on her finger, and add some fuel to the fire about how much her man does for her, how much he loves her and the castle in where they will marry, and her bond is then unofficially fired to the top of the league.

Unfortunately, many of these women forgot about one small item when they got engaged.  The primary motivation was how she felt in herself, and the secondary, almost oblivious, emotion was how she felt about him.  This is where men need to be careful, and they should ask the question, sooner rather than later, to where her motives truthfully sit.  If he can honestly say her feelings towards him are genuine, effortless and empathetic, he can, at least for now, say she is the one to make an honest person of him.  If it appears she is spending more time showing off to her friends and striving for social network comments than she is in making him happy, I suggest he has second thoughts.  The choice will always be yours, but if you read an article like this after you have been taken for a ride, and you still continue to make the same mistakes in the future, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

The unfortunate reality is that, generally speaking, women settle down with the men they are least sexually attracted to.  A small percentage of men do not settle down at the same age as women are inclined to do so because these men have options with other women.  Women, deny it as they will, like men who have options with women, because a man with alternatives shows he is a man worth having.  Men with fewer options are naturally more willing to settle down, often to the point where they instigate the rapidness to get married more than the woman, simply because he believes he cannot do better and that a marriage label will lock her down.  This is a foolish misconception, as if a woman wants to cheat on him, she will do it whether married or not.

And real life observations will back up what happens.  I would think there are many women you can think of who were accustomed to flirting with certain men in their wilder days, yet a few years down the line the man who put the ring on her finger looks nothing like the men from her past.  She may claim she has grown up and is far more mature and appreciate of giving men, but I wouldn’t be too sure this is the main reason.  The truth is she has now settled for the man she is with.

Many more women do not go through with it, because they are still young enough to be with a man who gives them butterflies.  Some of them do the honest thing and let him down before they act out the inevitable infidelity process.  But a good percentage of them carry on regardless, in hope that a ring, wedding day, honeymoon and, sometimes kids, will paper over the cracks of what was a love that was never organic, true or real.

So these days I, as the happy hunter, take the emblem of an engagement ring far less seriously than years gone by.  On sporadic occasions life surprises me, and I see the woman with a well suited man – hence a similar looking man in relative terms.  However, more often the man looks exactly how I imagined him in my peripheral vision.

Q-tip 1:
One of the worst mistakes a man can make in a relationship is to buy his girlfriend a “commitment” ring.  If she heavily suggests it on numerous occasions, then ok, the bad move is mitigated to an extent, but I still would advise against this deliverable.  Because a man who feels the need for his girlfriend to show her loyalty, faithfulness and committed love towards him fundamentally identifies a man who lives in trepidation of losing his lover to a better male candidate.

In the short term, a woman will feel better about her life due to the thought that a man values her so much, but over time, any half decent woman will resent being with someone who lives in fear of her potential departure.  She will know (if she didn’t already) that he believes he can do no better than her.  And hardly any women admire men who are emblematic of silently stating “I am so lucky to have her” or “I can do no better”, because deep down in their honest veins, a woman is more attracted to a man who keeps her wondering if she is good enough for him.

Q-tip 2:
If you are one of these men having doubts about your girlfriend’s integrity, take on this small and easy analysis.  Compare the ratio between how many times she is proactive in kissing you in private, in relation to the quantity of likewise moves she makes when external parties are around her vicinity or it is for benefit of posting on her social network pages.  If the ratio is high in respect to private:public, it is a fair assumption her love for you is born out of natural and empathetic instincts.  If the ratio is in the favour of public:private, this is a tell tale sign that she is more in it for herself than concerns for the collective partnership.  With knowledge of this, and after you have used her to your optimum benefit, it is the exact point where you should move on to something better without a tear in your eye.

Wednesday 17 September 2014

The perfect man in a woman’s eyes: part 3

“We all make mistakes, and we all have strengths and weaknesses.  But some of us too arrogant and ignorant to monitor the things we excel in, simultaneous to denial of improving our acknowledged shortcomings.”

One more time for the music….

Protecting and secure partner

The woman alongside this man feels safe with him.  He radiates calm, but offers safety.  If a “low-life” man confronts them, he stands in front of her whilst avoiding confrontation with these thug types of guys.  He shows he is the bigger person by walking away, but always guarding her first.  In previous generations, a woman needed a man to be hard on the outside but soft in the middle.  Times have evolved, and this man has moved with the times.  He is softer on the outside, but strong in the middle.  

Of course, he is aware there are a small segment of women who would like him to stop and fight, usually as much for the drama and their attention ego boost for the belief two people would fight for her.  However, this man knows these are the low calibre women he wouldn’t want to be near.  If a woman doesn’t suit his needs, he’ll happily walk away, and this keeps his girlfriend on her toes.  On the other hand, although he is firm, he is quick to show his own gratitude towards her when she has acted accordingly.  He values her every bit as much as a beta character male, but he isn’t afraid to lose her, such is his belief other women find him attractive.  This attitude allows him to avoid the usual jealous, desperate and possessive ways so accustomed to a perennial nice guy.

Sexual prowess

This man has standards in a woman that need to reach his required level, but he also isn’t over selective.  Due to this, he has had a decent number of previous sexual relationships with various types of women.  Numbers give variety, variety feeds experience, and experience rewards in efficiency.  He is skilled in bed, and he knows how to satisfy and please a woman, but most of all he knows how to satisfy himself first.  Men may be led to believe by do-gooders that they should place all female needs first, but women love the men the most who put themselves first.  The reason they find this so attractive and sexy is because it illustrates a man who isn’t afraid to upset, and as a ramification to lose, a woman.   

Without being immensely good looking, or sculptured in a defined bodily physique sense, he turns her on viscerally.  This is in the way of dominating her, showing leadership and diversion in the bedroom, and captivating her in a world of sexual fantasy.  In an era where women have become more independent, they still need a man who can lead and guide them, and nothing underlines this more than when they take each other’s clothes off.  He recognizes a woman’s sexual needs, and he understands women in general.

Knowledge of female emotional mentality

This brings it appropriately onto his strongest asset - he understands a woman’s mind and the psychology that goes hand in hand with their emotional decisions.  Likewise, he holds a thorough comprehension to the distinction in the varying types of female personas, and how to adapt accordingly without changing his natural demeanour and principles.  Whether through natural senses or learning over time, past mistakes and triumphs, he has reached a stage in his life when he knows the strengths and weaknesses in women, the trials and tribulations that come with the territory of relationships, and the way they are unique in their own manner.  In a similar way, he has collated general characteristics in women, and he has drawn conclusions to where a man’s interaction strategy can usually work a treat.  He may have undertaken hours of study in addition to this, but the end product is one of a male who is far more aware of the way women work in comparison to the majority of clueless men out there. 

He assesses the time to give them space, there is the need to sometimes act aloof and reserved, there is his element of surprising them, there is his comprehension to the inundated amounts of men trying too hard – only to end up in the friends’ zone with women.  Most of all, he has realized women and life do not go hand in hand with the logics of life.  The phrase of “the more you give, the more you get” is rarely true, and whilst there are times this is necessary, by hanging to the other extreme – bad boy character in lieu of nice guy deliverables - he acknowledges success with women is far more likely.  With this consideration, he only tells her he loves her as much as she speaks the same words to him, and in the main he will wait for her to say it first.  Whilst women need to feel valued by the main man in their life, they also need to be in awe of him without being intimidated. 

Interaction with women

Fundamentally, he has studied how to acquire interaction strategy – otherwise known as game – when dealing with women on intimate terms.  A woman’s natural psychological make-up for intensity and drama causes her to have a level of requirement for a man to test her.  It is usually an unawareness of maneuvers in her mind, but it leaves a man, even the most genuine of a man, to counteract this approach with a strategy of his own.  He knows as much as any other man that it’s a shame the world has come to this, but he has learnt from numerous encounters that a woman’s habits in this respect are not isolated cases.  They are the majority rather than the exception.  However, due to his astute and relaxed outlook of life, he adapts to an extent that isn’t harmful to the woman he is with, but more importantly, he ensures his own welfare is always in check.  If it reaches the stage where she apparently attains the thrill of mind games to an unreasonable degree, whether by accident or deliberation, he will walk away. 

This man knows not every woman is to the extreme of this nature, but he accepts it is necessary to not play by her rules.  Over time, she will quietly, although deniably, be happier for this challenge.  So he can identify with women, but he only lets her aware of this to a point.  If he exploited this knowledge, he would place her in the realms of vulnerability and insecurity, due to her fear that she will never feel enough power in the relationship.  He always remembers that women need to believe they have a level of power - they just do not need to consciously be told of this.  Likewise, she needs to believe her man has power over her, but she should never reach the point when she is certain of this.  Fiction can rule a woman’s mind, but facts can force her to run away.

Acknowledging the detriments of male vanity

Another decisive pulling point this man has over the vast majority of men, and especially good looking men, is his comprehension to how women view a male and his reflection.  This is one of the biggest mistakes men of high physical impressiveness fall into, and it involves a woman’s opinion of vain men, and above all the one she is dating.  A woman likes nothing more than her man to look after himself and maximize his potential, however if he spends even a quarter of as much time as her to glamour up, then he will be seen upon in negative eyes.  In fairness, it is slightly hypocritical and inconsistent of women to have this feeling, but no woman wants to fight over mirror time with her lover.  Further to this, a man confident of his looks does not need to spend much effort in grooming, as he is assured and secure in his own skin. 

This man leaves her to the beauty room, and he waits downstairs for an hour watching the football before complimenting her on her beauty.  Not that he is in awe of her beauty, as once a man starts to think this way then he is on a rapid road to a mentality of believing he should be privileged to be with her.  An astute man will always believe, without saying the actual words, that a woman should be privileged to be with him.  This confident thought is only true because he takes a broad view of other men’s strengths and weaknesses, and the implication they have on high quality women.  As he doesn’t live in his own bubble, and he has an extensive interest in human interaction, it is easy for him to pick up on many areas where so many men are failing in a variety of ways.    

Balanced mindset

If ever there was a pertinent word to define the perfect man, it would have to be balance.  This would closely be followed by versatility.  In any case, the two words are inter-linked towards his success with women and life as one.  He isn’t naïve - in thinking all the world is good and selfless.  He isn’t a cynic, in believing the entire world is greedy and selfish.  He falls into the ‘Zen’ category, by understanding that some people are selfish, some aren’t, and knows how to connect to them and how not to be used, and genuinely likes people and appreciates them for who they are.

This outlook is further emphasized with his thoughts of women.  He knows the world isn’t perfect, and this is never more apparent than with the females he interacts with.  However, he has learnt to take the good points in them before the bad, and this is mainly down to the perspective gained throughout the years.  He has come to the conclusion that any immature comments or compliance tests they may use in attempt to de-value him are born out of jealousy, bitterness and insecurity.  He knows that if a woman goes out of her way to bring him down, it is the highest back-handed compliment a man ever needs.  When she does make these weak attempts, he acts in calmness, and refrains from over-reacting in the way she is accustomed to with most men’s implementations. 

Nobody stands further away from supplication than this guy, as he disqualifies any woman who doesn’t show interest in him.  There are too many other quality women to dwell over one who is, more often than not, giving him undue receptiveness for being out of her attainability spectrum.  He achieves this mindset because of his belief in his options outside of a woman he is interested in, or the woman he is in a relationship with.  Although he adores the feeling of empathetic love with one woman, he holds onto the mentality that they are fundamentally interchangeable.  Options, or lack of choices, are the selling point to a man in determining if he falls on desperation or carefree extremes.  Needless to say, the majority of women take more fondly to the latter.

Context of true human value

He acknowledges that whilst many women may seem unapproachable, unreceptive or unfriendly, this is usually out of their insecurities, self-consciousness or vain hope to feel and demonstrate a higher value than reality shows to the rest of the world.  He is fully comprehended to the pronounced manner women act in this way to convince themselves of external validation and importance.  He knows that most women would prefer to act amicably all the time in their interaction with men, but imperceptible and wrongly assumed belief that an illustration of interest is a sign of weakness, refrains them from acting in this natural way.  This man knows that most women, once approached, are actually appreciative of the effort and courage it takes to genuinely and unconditionally engage with someone unknown to him.  Most of all, he enjoys the company of women, and he sees upon them as human beings but not secluded princesses that so many men perceive them to be.  He has realized that women can only make his life brighter, and most importantly, they can never destroy the contribution he brings to the world. 

Other people are just the same to him, whether they are tramps off the street or people of extreme fame or status.  No woman he has met in his life is a cut above his worth to the world, but on the other hand he also does not see himself as anything special too.  Even if he is aware of his worth due to the inundated compliments from other people over the years, he acts in obliviousness, with humility at the forefront.  He is fully aware of his value without exploiting it, as he holds this innate ability to not take himself, or life, too seriously.


This man doesn’t desire to be alienated, irrespective of his value.  All he wants in life is to be happy, for others to be happy around him, and for people to wake up in the morning with the sun shining in wait of a new day.  If it rains, so be it, as life is precious to him and there are always motives for him to accomplish.  Every day his objective is to begin each day as if it were on purpose, with no issue at work too intensive to tackle.  A problem to most people is a challenge to him.  He knows this mental outlook isn’t always possible, but life is too short to spend it wondering what might have been, pondering on regrets, or wishing you were living the life of someone else.  The perfect man is happy in the person he has become, he is unapologetic if this viewpoint doesn’t impress everyone, and he would never waste time trying to change in pleasing other people. 

He hasn’t got the time or inclinations to second guess women, and he forms a firm mentality that allows him to believe, with the right amount of compromise on his part, that women can take it or leave it in terms of whether they hold desires to be with him.  He values and appreciates the beauty, greatness, exclusivity and complexities women bring to his life, but he also knows that women are replaceable – by both other women and other events in life - once they start to behave the way he doesn’t have predilections to.  This relaxed mood rubs off on the women he dates, and they see him as a guy who isn’t afraid to lose out, as another female conquest will be available on another given day if they begin to act out of accordance.   Ultimately, the crucial reason why women find him appealing is that he doesn’t endeavour, or desire, to be someone he could never be.