Men in newly wedding rings – how do women respond?

 

                   “Forbidden love is like being addicted to something.  It feels good at the time                                    and gives you pleasure, but there’s no good that can come from it.”                           (Mark Twain)

  

As much as the above phrase holds a lot of sense and logic in reality terms, you want to try telling women that no good can come from it.  The more you tell them this, the harder they will try for it to work and to prove you (or the phrase) wrong.  Even if they are fully aware no good can derive from it, it will not stop them one ounce in still going through with the forbiddances. 

Q-tip 1:                                                                                                                                     The more drama, self-attention and (usually legal, but sometimes illegal) wrongdoing something in life has attached to it, the greater a woman will strive to achieve it.

About two months ago, I recollected this previous post written nearly a decade ago.  I sometimes have to wonder where time goes.  One thing is for sure, it goes too fast, and I doubt there are many honest people out there who think much differently.  Time is nobody’s friend, and time only serves to try and punish you.  I digress….

When have I worn wedding rings?

In spite of never being married, the wearing of a wedding ring has been a generally intermittent, but occasionally regular, habit of mine.  I offer you the reasons to why I have done so:

·       As someone who looks like I do (far more alpha and good looking than the average man), yet who has mainly worked in predominantly beta male environments and industries, the immediate perception another man will put on me is dislike and that I should not be there, and I am just a player amongst loyal and committed (and most usually, not in demand with women) men.  Perception is an evil tool; however key personnel can often make decisions based on what makes them feel better about themselves (even if this decision is not the most productive and beneficial).  When men see me in a wedding ring, the warmer reception I receive from them is undeniably pronounced in comparison to if I did not wear one.

·       Similar to the above, women in meetings or interviews I have attended also look upon me more fondly when they see a wedding ring on my finger, in contrast to the times they were less amiable when I did not wear it. 

·       Whilst few women will go out there way to directly ask a man out (they will usually wait for him to ask her, no matter how blatant her interest), on the rare occasions I have found myself in these situations, a wedding ring can give me that distance from her growing enthusiasm.  This of course is applicable to women to whom I am not sexually attracted.

·       I tend to be a person who other men either really like or totally dislike.  There has never been much in between.  In respect to the latter group, it is an unproven (but plain to see) circumstance of their jealousy towards what they see.  Whilst this is not a major reason at all to wear a wedding ring, to take a metaphor, I am not going to knock a gift horse in the mouth.  Simply put, men in social environments are friendlier and less aggressive towards me when they see me in a wedding ring.

·       Women with antagonistic behaviour and body language towards me, similar to the exampled men as described above, also appear to manifest a greater warmth towards me when they spot the ring on the finger.  Again, not that this is any skin off my nose either way, but it likewise does not do any harm.

·       So many women in my life have given me indicators of interest, only to reject me when I have approached them and asked them if they would like us to get to know each other.  These women have nearly always later been seen with average to above average looking men.  As much as it would appear I am dragging myself down to these respective women’s level in games and maturity terms, it gives me a good feeling for them to later see me wearing a wedding ring.  It puts their nose out of joint, and if the truth be told, I get an enriched feeling from this somewhat retribution. 

The most important reason – attracting attractive women

Nevertheless, with acknowledgement to all the above points, by far the most relevant and important choice to wear a ring has been based on, rightly or wrongly, my prediction that it will benefit me in the face of women I would like to get romantically, or just sexually, involved with. 

With that said, and whilst I would like to think that I have been decisive and consistent with everything I have written in this blog over the last decade, I equally appreciate that for some men like me, this may not always be the best decision to make.  If you take another look at the post I wrote in 2014, you will clearly see how I caveated this conundrum accordingly.

What did I choose to do?

When I went on a short vacation towards the end of September, this naturally meant that I did not attend the gym for about ten days.  This gave me a convenient time, on return, to start wearing a wedding ring in the gym.  Most people in there – bearing in mind nobody in there knows me personally or on a deep level – would just assume that I got married in the time I was away.

If the truth be told, I also wanted to amuse and intrigue myself regarding how women in there would respond.  It has now been a month; therefore, I offer my findings.  Also bear in mind that, over the last three years I have been a member in this gym, there have been a good few dozen women who I sensed sexual interest in me.  I must have spoken to at least twenty of them.

·       One female that stood out just so happened to be a young woman who I had never seen in there before I went away.  I think she only joined about five weeks ago.  She has been very pleasant and engaging (we now speak most times we see each other in there), and the ring most certainly does not put her off.  It is however impossible to compare her conduct against how she would have been prior to me wearing it.  I also think her pleasantness, in any case, has a lot to do with the fact she is no older than 21, and quite hot.

·       Another woman who I was interested to observe her etiquette is a Personal Trainer.  Although I have sensed her attraction in the past, this has also been amalgamated with somewhat resentment of my existence, no matter how friendly and acknowledging I have been with her.  To start with, she looked at my ring with a little tear in her eye.  As the weeks have gone on though, she has become more affable as every time has passed.  She has even gone as far, occasionally, to ask me how I am (almost alien for a woman to do these days, such is how wrapped up in their own lives they are)!

·       In terms of the women I have sensed attraction onto me (and who I am attracted to in return), but who I have never spoken to, my gut instincts have sensed a recognizable sway towards being more cordial as opposed to more negative body language.

·       Women who I am not attracted to (whether they have shown any sign of attraction onto me or not) have also come across as anything ranging from the same as before, to a greater warmth.

·       This finally leaves women who I have spoken to in there (the vast majority who I would like to take it further with) – aged approximately between 22 and 31.  Each and every one of them in the past, after showing an interest in me before I approached them, have either said they had a boyfriend or they cut the conversation short in moving away from me.  To each and every one of them, since they have observed the ring, they have looked a little disappointed.  Concurrently however, their body language has been noticeably more congenial. 

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                                          I will never forget the words of a former female work colleague.  She said – “Women don’t want to be with you, but they don’t want another woman to have you.”

A final thought

In essence, this little experiment of mine has only confirmed and reinforced what I already knew, and what I pretty much predicted to happen.  To illustrate what my former work colleague alluded to, women will only start to appreciate a man when they start to think it is too late to have him.

In truth, and to elaborate on this female psychological way of acting in these scenarios, the vast majority of women do not want to be with a man like me.  The reasons have been explained inundated time before on this blog.  The problem is, this defaulted message in their minds to not want to be with me, fights a battle with the other side of the mind in not wanting me to be with anyone else.  Cake and eat it, to take a phrase.

In conclusion, women want the best of both worlds.  A woman desires to be with a lesser looking man than she in order to feel better about life and herself, but she does not want the better looking man than her boyfriend/fiancé/husband – a man she will possibly have turned down – to be with another female competitor.  If she had her way in life, said hot man would fall into indefinite celibacy.  At least, her ego would think this way (strangely, her heart and sexual feelings want to fantasize in him sleeping with as many beautiful women a possible).

Q-tip 3:                                                                                                                                         If a woman sustains a tear to her eye and a sharp pain to her heart when she sees a man with another woman, part, or all, of her deep down wants to be with him.  If a man was having sex with another woman in front of her eyes, yet she barely gives a toss, he may as well be invisible to her existence. 

A final, final thought

By the way, if you were to do a quick engine search on this topic in terms of investigating an online forum or comments section within a designated article, you will find a lot of predictable comments from women.  The lion’s share of these female comments will consist of words to the effect that they are not more attracted to men who wear wedding rings (all else being equal for credibility to the analysis), and in fact they would stay away from these already committed men.

Most scientific studies, but far more importantly your real life experience and observations, will of course indicate otherwise.  Women have very little to non-existent contrition in lying, especially with regards to emotional and relationship oriented subjects they are faced with, in order to, on the outside, make it look as if they are ethical, moral and, for want of a better term, good people.

As always, as a strong man with a pair of balls and a bit of common sense, you need to rise above this bullshit and say it for what it is and what you see.  Watch what women do, and do not listen to what they say.

Mate guarding is not a good look

 

“He who constantly looks over his shoulder, is he who is outwardly afraid.” 

 

Let us start with a textbook definition of mate guarding:

Mate guarding is the physical guarding of a female in order to deny rival males the opportunity to mate with her and is one of the most commonly used defensive strategies observed in mammals (Nichols, Amos, Cant, Bell, & Hodge, 2010), birds (Hoi, Tost, & Griggio, 2011), insects (Simmons, 2001), and fish (Alonzo & Warner, 2000).

The animal kingdom, in many ways regarding female and male existence, is not much different to human behaviour when considered to how the male species acts in this respect.  In both cases, they are essentially doing the same thing.  The reason human deportment is more fascinating, in my mind at least, is because the psychological element to such ways of behaving is that bit more intriguing to explore.

Taking animals first, the male is fundamentally, and almost solely motivated in, attempting to not allow another male competitor to mate with his female companion (or the female he is attempting to mate with).  In simple terms, he does not want anything else to stand in the way of him mating with her.  There is very other little consideration to him.  Sometimes he will fight off the male rival, whilst other times he will submit to a superior force he cannot compete or fight with. 

Now taking humans, the male is pretty much doing the same thing.  He does not want any other man to have sex with his female partner, or the woman he is trying to bang, in putting it bluntly.  Nevertheless, his mate guarding tactics are a little more subtle than exampled animal.  More to be explained on this later.

A relevant anecdote

There is a woman in the gym who I wrote a post about last year.  Without going back on old ground, it was obvious she was, and seemingly still is, attracted to me.

Since the early part of this year, there has been a man who looks in his mid-twenties trying to grind her down.  He is a 7/10 in physical attractiveness terms, so in respect to her, he falls perfectly into the approximate 10% deleverage strike zone that most women strive for.

On paper, this dynamic in him being 10% to 15% less physically attractive than her should have been an easy path for her to continue on with him.  After all, providing he did not have bad odour or something, there is very little obstruction for her to venture on with him on this basis.  However, it was clear for a couple of months that she was not exactly being forthcoming in making this, on paper once more, somewhat easy decision.

The main reason behind this is, in my knowledge of how women think and act, because he is about three inches shorter than her.  The number of times she would speak to him – for attention purposes in the early stages – ensuring either she was sitting down, or he was sitting down, was too transparent for any person with two brain cells to not fathom.  She would often take her trainers off when near him too, just to bridge the height gap as much as she could.

About three months ago, she and her female best buddy must have had some kind of falling out.  It was amusing that one day they were always acting like little girls and carrying out over-exaggerated laughing, to almost overnight walking past each other with devil eyes.  Without any proof, my guess is that the tall blonde (the woman referenced in this post, and the previous post) let her “friend” down on a so called agreement to go on a holiday or rent a house together.  Again, just a hunch.

Anyway, around this time of the fallout, it was clear that she finally submitted to the guy who had pursued her for months on end, and they had become a couple.  I even noticed from the other side of the gym where the two of them were training on the cables together, and every time they went to talk, she kind of crouched down a little to less expose the height difference.  I certainly do not think it was any coincidence that she started dating him at the time of the fallout with the other woman. 

Jealous male mate guarding

It just so happens every Wednesday, gym routine people as we are, that a common time occurs when I work out on a bench a couple of yards diagonally in front of her.  As someone he will have sensed her being attracted to (and she may possibly have told him this pre-dating phase), in addition to being one of the rare men in there who actually smells decent, it is plain to see his discomfort and jealousy when this occurrence hits him in the eyes.

What he does to counteract this displeasing disposition is to, as soon as he sees her and I in close proximity, move from his training area and start to help her train.  It really is pitiful, but in essence this is what human male mate guarding is in a nutshell. 

Not only does this man fail in what is right to further attract women (in particular women you are already dating), but this also has a negative effect on his training results, such is his endeavours in wasting time staying close to her.  Bad move, on both counts.

Do women like male mate guarding?

The easy explanation to this question is to effectively summarise how women act in two extreme psyches.  On the one side you have her ego, and on the other side you have her heart (and sexual arousal to accompany her heart).  A woman seeing her male partner (or a man generally) trying to mate guard will enjoy the head swell ego boost to illustrate that a man in her life is so into her that he will go to the lengths of mate guarding and competitor interception, but the other side of her will concede that by acting out this mate guarding trait, he has taken away what beats her heart faster and makes here panties wet – due to him making it too blatant that he is doing such thing.

Because a man mate guarding is in no uncertain terms a man who is jealous, insecure, and contains a feeling of inferiority in comparison to the man or men he is mate guarding her from.  Deep down women know this, and in their honest veins no woman is sexually attracted to a man who is showing these character colours.  This is not to say many, many women do not tolerate the irritable feeling that mate guarding negatively decorates, because as implied above, most modern day women will go with their egos over their hearts.

Is mate guarding productive or unproductive?

Before answering this question, the first aspect to address is simply numbers based.  In the modern day, most (>80%) of women will put their egos ahead of their hearts, and most (>80%) men are beta males who uncontrollably and by default deliver with mate guarding strategy.  With this considered, you could make a firm argument that mate guarding is beneficial in securing, and keeping, a woman.

On the other hand, if you have morals and principles to be the best version of yourself as feasibility allows, accustomed with taking a firm preference in getting women to be sexually attracted to you rather than making them feel better about life and themselves, then mate guarding is a complete no go zone.  As with everything, the choice is that of your own.

Q-tip:                                                                                                                                       Men low in confidence, but high in jealousy, insecurity and inferiority will be prominent of mate guarding.  Men who are the inverse to this, combined with savviness and high knowledge of what makes women tick, keep their distance from their female partners, even when many other men are around.  When all said and done, it is simple assessment to how good a catch you believe you are for her in contrast to the hoards of other males around her.

Side note

I wrote most of this post a few weeks ago, before finalizing today.  In this interim time, the woman and man I reference in this post have evidently left the gym to join most likely another place.

My hunch tells me this change of events is two-fold.  He gets her away from a venue where there are edgier men who she sets her eyes on than him.  She alleviates herself from the irritable and resentful feeling and day in day out experience of having to look at men she would, in honesty and sexual instinctiveness, want to have sex with more than the man she is with.  For now, it works beneficially for both.