Thursday 24 March 2022

Women with excessive tattoos

 

“Better no contact than contact with no substance.”

  

A few years ago, I approached a really attractive blonde in a bar.  Whilst she was very engaging, friendly, and apparently happy that I did interact with her, she did say she had a boyfriend when I unapologetically asked early in the conversation.

I sensed, with no proof (but which would become more apparent in the future), that she was a little disappointed about having a boyfriend and not pursuing with me.  A few weeks later I saw her with her boyfriend and his mates, and whilst by no means a bad looking guy at all, I saw her looking over at me shortly before making no excuse to come and talk.

About a year later, she had physically aged terribly.  I’d hedge a bet that when we met, she was about 27, but a mere year later she looked in her mid-thirties.  In the whole scheme of things (hence versus the female competition) she was still one of the more attractive women out there having stayed in prime physical shape, but the late nights, drugs, and craving to do the things to stay locally popular had taken its toll on her skin and eyes.

The stupid sleeve tattoo

Another year on, and I saw her in a club during a night out in another city.  She was all over the place, falling over on the dance floor as she made efforts to make the exit.  It was a pitiful downfall of a once beautiful – both on the inside and outside – woman.  How the mighty had fallen, was what came to mind.

A few weeks later, I saw her in the same venue.  She was with two men who, I believe just based on experience of these dynamics, were nothing more than blue balls followers.  It was almost embarrassing as I caught her just looking at me for seconds on end, from no more than a couple of yards away, as they both stood next to her.  I avoided any sustained eye contact with her.

Looking rough still in relativity to when I first met her two years earlier, it was hard to ignore the full arm sleeve tattoo she was exploiting.  As someone who prefers naturally beautiful and feminine women, the female compartment who go for fake tits, enhanced lips, inundated sunbed time, and overuse of makeup, is not to my liking.  It will come as no surprise then to know I’m not a fan at all of women sporting excessive tattoos.

These women do have their place though…

Nevertheless, I’m not going to be a complete hypocrite.  For shorter term benefits, generally, I have been involved with isolated women who resembled the perennial woman as explained above.  I’ve never slept with a woman with excessive tattoos, and most certainly not one with a sleeve imprint, but if the truth be told I’m quite partial to women with tattoos on their ankle, foot, upper thigh, or lower back.  One of the best girlfriends I have experienced – both in physical attractiveness and all-round girlfriend material terms – possessed a large thigh tattoo.  I expect, with a proficient level of experience and objectivity, that she is an exception rather than the rule.

Did I mention girlfriend material?  Albeit this article based on an Australian study was written over a decade ago, I think it sums up the tattoo scenario perfectly:

Results: A total of 14.5% of respondents had ever been tattooed, and 2.4% of respondents had been tattooed in the year before the interview. Men were more likely than women to report a tattoo, but the highest rates of tattooing were found among women in their 20s (29.4%). Men and women ages 20-39 were most likely to have been tattooed, as were men with lower levels of education, tradesmen, and women with live-out partners. Tattooing was also associated with risk-taking behaviours, including smoking, greater numbers of lifetime sexual partners, cannabis use (women only) and ever having depression (men only).

Conclusions: Tattooing has increased in popularity during the past decade. Yet tattoos still appear to be a marker for risk-taking behavior in adults.

The area I have highlighted pretty much sums up the kinds of men and women who have tattoos – the lower classes.  This isn’t absolute, but it paints the greater part of the portrait.

For elaborated summary, I bullet point the kinds of women most likely to sport an excessive array of tattoos, and tattoos that are seen on the most prominent ill-advised (arms, neck, chest, upper back) body parts:

·       Lower class women

·       Drama hunting women

·       Less intelligent women

·       Less educated women

·       Attention-seeking women

·       Women not interested in a career

·       Less feminine women

·       Women who hold a powerful desire for bad boys

·       Women who attain a need to be popular and part of a social proof group

·       Women who have truly little going on in their lives, outside of fabricated drama

Once more, I must stress this exemplifies the majority of women, but not all.  The woman at the centre of this post, in addition to the past girlfriend I reference, were the opposite of all the above with the exception of their attention-seeking occasions and desire for bad boys (which, if honest, is an innate composition of nearly all women).

A final thought

It cannot go without pointing out from the findings that the highest rates of tattooing were found among women in their 20s - which accounted for 29.4% of all women and men.  This again should not arrive as any astonishment at all from a female age context, as naturally women in this age range are at their pinnacle in respect to seeking and desiring public attention onto them.  It’s also the age (although I would argue this needs to be 20 to 25) where women can get away with making decisions that goes against most men’s desirables, because a woman’s youth and beauty at this age is a greater compensator to overcome this male distaste.

What is maybe a little more surprising to me, based on nothing more than anecdotal observation, is that a higher percentage of women in their 20s have tattoos than likewise men in their 20s.  Even in this day and age, where women have become more masculine and men have become more feminine over the last couple of decades, I wouldn’t have expected the female number to pass the male quantity.

Then again, when I think further, it perhaps does fathom more.  First, I would expect that the vast majority of this 29.4% of women only have one or two small tattoos, and similarly only in discrete areas of the body.  Second, bearing in mind that >80% of men are perennial beta male nice guys, the vast majority of these men will not own any ink on their skin. 

If the truth be told, in my opinion any average-looking man with a mediocre (or worse) body profile is better off having no tattoos.  The only argument against this would be that, such is his none appeal and low sought-after status with women worth having, a tattoo or two could bring some female eyes onto him.

A final, final thought

This all begs the question therefore – why do women have excessive tattoos, if an extraordinary proportion of men do not desire them? 

·       Women are so into their own lives that they do not stop to think what men want.  Or more to the point, these women do not care what men think.

·       Women are more interested in the short term (especially when younger) thrill of standing out from the female crowd, than the down the line consequence decisions like this can have on the numbers of men who will commit to them.

·       As alluded to above, so many men are low in demand beta males that there will always be a man somewhere out there who will take oversight to a woman choosing to advise a tattoo parlour to ink all over her.

·       A lot of women attain false psychological female projection.  In other words, they hold a misconception (or sometimes ignorance of reality) in their minds that what they find attractive in a man is what men find attractive in women.  Tattoos are classic examples.  Women are sexually turned on by men with tattoos, but men either prefer women with no tattoos or tattoos that can only to be seen by him when she is naked.

Q-tip:

Nearly all women are more sexually turned on by a man with a tattoo in comparison to a man without a tattoo.  Most of these women would also happily be in a relationship with the same man, although the amount of ink on his body will prove to be a factor dependant on the social class of the woman.  On the other hand, a substantial proportion of men are sexually turned off by a woman with too many tattoos, and slightly more turned on or simply neutral about women with only discrete tattoos.  There are very few men who are less turned on by a woman without any tattoos, all else being equal.  Finally, and most importantly, men prefer to be in relationships with women who have not a tattoo to be seen on their skin.

 

Acknowledgements

PubMed.gov

Friday 11 March 2022

The implications of male baldness and ambition

 

                                   "Show me the charts and I’ll tell you the news."                                        (Bernard Baruch)

  

A reader asks for my view based on an abstract from this previous post: 

Hey Vi Nay, I have a question on this part

"I have to say that if ever there is reinforcement required to illustrate how men deep in their thirties or older (providing these men look after themselves and keep looking young) can attract numerous women ranged as young as 18 to as old 45, then it shouldn’t be questioned any longer."

How does this apply to bald guys? Assuming they keep in shape as best as possible can a bald dude in his late 30s/early 40s still attract a woman in the 27-30 range? I know how much most women love hair and in some circles being bald is a looks destroyer.

Also off topic but wanted to ask as well, you mention the best thing a good looking guy can do to improve his chances with women is to improve all of his non-visual attributes, since women need to get something out of the deal to offset him being more attractive than she is.

Do you find good looking guys to be generally less ambitious than average looking / ugly guys?

My response:

It is well advised to, before dissecting further, lay out some ground rules in deriving to women’s preferences:

1)    All else equal, a woman prefers to be with a man who is less physically attractive than she is.

2)    Most women prefer to be with men who are older than they are.

3)    Women will place the above two preferences to one side if they can gain in other ways – mainly through a man’s status and wealth.

4)    Nearly all women, if honest, prefer a man with hair in contrast to a bald man. 

This may sound like a straight-out negative answer to your query, but as you will see in a few minutes, there is a lot more positive to come out of this than you right now are most likely thinking. 

In fact, instead of me giving an elaborate answer on this, I will simply reference you to this previous post on the subject.  Handy I found that!

In summary to this topic though, yes, a man in his late 30s/early 40s can absolutely attract women in the 27-30 bracket.  It is by no means a destroyer, as you put it.  At worst, it will reduce the pool of women the bald man can attract.  On smaller occasions, being bald may actually play in his favour.

Are good-looking guys less ambitious than average-looking/ugly guys?

This is an excellent question, and perhaps a no size fits all way to answer.  Whenever this is the case, I can simply only analyse on a general basis.

The general rule of thumb and consensus is that the less physically attractive a man is, the more ambitious he will strive to be in order to bridge the gap between women’s higher attraction that is projected onto his better-looking male counterparts.  This is, whilst it cannot be proven, unofficially true. 

A man in this scenario will, deep down, know that he needs to offer women compensating factors in order to mitigate her lack of sexual attraction onto him.  Some men (and women) even joke about this, but it is usually unspoken to avoid damaging each gender pride, ego and integrity.

With this being said then, on a wholesale basis it is a fair argument that average-looking and ugly men will be more ambitious and career-oriented to compensate for their lesser physical blessings.  The more social status, occupational status, wealth, charisma, style, confidence and (perhaps most importantly) pre-selection evidence he can prove by the form of other women ignited to him he attains, the higher the number, and greater the quality, of women taking oversight to not being attracted to him on face value alone.

Q-tip 1:

Between 16 to 23, most women “love” a man for who he is and not what he is.  Between the female age of 24 to 32, and most women “love” a man for what he is and not who he is.  Women aged 33 and beyond, and in particular those who have already been married and are mothers, fall somewhere in between the two extremes.

In comparison, many of the better-looking men at an early age (high school through to university age) will be in popular social groups where the hottest women are also to be seen.  This often reduces a man’s inclination to be ambitious, as he has an easy life just getting laid with hot girls.  Nevertheless, this good time has a small lifespan, and it is not anywhere close to achievable once women pass 23 years of age.

Exceptions to the rule

The exception to this general rule, and something which is ignored and not considered – basically because it applies to such a tiny minority of men, in addition to the average person’s lack of knowledge and/or lack of acceptance towards this circumstance – is when a top end (top 1%) physically attractive man will in fact need to be equally as ambitious as the average to ugly men as explained.

When a man is very good-looking, and if he attains a level of status, confidence, style and charisma which is also way above the average man’s yardstick, logic suggests that he can almost just sit back and not do anything that reflects ambition or improves his life - such is the likelihood so many women will be queuing up to be with him.  In reality and practice however, this is not the case.  At least, once more, when women age past 23.

A man of this highest calibre in physical attractiveness will give off the impression to pretty much all women that he can have his pick of each one of them.  Whilst nearly all these women will find him physically attractive, and they will have fantasies of sleeping with him, in practice the vast majority of these women will not go near him.  At least, once again, unless it falls in her most fertile few days in the month.  

A woman in this predicament - whose heart and sexual impulses are telling her "yes", but her ego and insecurity is telling her "no" - cannot feel special enough in herself, such is the knowledge she holds that so many other women are attracted to him.  Add on her trust, insecurity and ego issues, and she plays the game of a safer bet with a lesser looking man.

What this all loopholes back to, in a kind of bizarre way, is that the high sought-after man needs to mitigate this female resistance by offering women something that will remove their irritable mindset of his male beauty.  The easiest explanation to this would be a great-looking famous sports star, film star, or similar.  These men will have a conveyor belt of the hottest women lining up to be with him, but it isn’t because of his physical allure.  Women will still have the same issues with him being physically eye catching, but the lure of money, fame, easy life and popularity kills this nagging feeling to a degree that allows them to know there is far more to gain than there is to lose.

In essence then, it isn’t so much that better-looking men are less ambitious than lesser-looking men, as much as lesser-looking men are more ambitious than better-looking men.  The nuance in these words should not be ignored.

Summary

I hope this clarifies both points to your question. 

First, a man’s baldness will act as more of a negative than a positive, but it isn’t a deal-breaker.  It is not a dissimilar comparison to a man being shorter than the average male height.  In both cases, there are opportunities for the bald or shorter man to elevate the kind of woman he can acquire if taken from standing start.

Second, the less physically attractive a man is, the more ambitious he will need to be in appealing to sought-after and younger women. 

Q-tip 2:

All else being equal, upper average-looking to above average-looking men (6.5/10 to 7.75/10) have the largest pool of women to choose from.  They are good-looking enough to attract women and consequently have women give them an opportunity, but not below this benchmark to where diminishing returns exist due to a woman believing she can do far better.

Friday 4 March 2022

Women should not dictate men’s routines

 

            “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”                 (Andy Dufresne – Shawshank Redemption, 1994)

  

I recently became involved with a woman who had shown interest in me for some time prior, but like most relationships in my life of late, this involvement didn’t last long.  I think the thrill of the chase on her part, coupled with the greater need of my existence in her life for only five days in a month (as explained in this previous post), brought about the predictable ending that is now second guessed by me ahead of time.  I certainly didn’t lose any sleep or fall off my seat as a circumstance of our parting of ways.

No surprise I expect to many, but I met her in the gym.  I have to say that if ever there is reinforcement required to illustrate how men deep in their thirties or older (providing these men look after themselves and keep looking young) can attract numerous women ranged as young as 18 to as old 45, then it shouldn’t be questioned any longer.  Women as old or older than exampled man despise this dynamic, because these women loathe the thought of men of similar age having options of attracting and to be with younger women.

Where did she go?

The woman I reference was like clockwork in terms of the times she would enter the gym, and the time she would depart.  Likewise, I always saw her on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  A week after I was clear we were no longer going to be seeing each other, her times of arrival on a Monday and Wednesday changed by nearly an hour later.  She stopped going on Fridays.  Just the other day I noticed her commence her workout on one of the treadmills as I finished on the abs area, and she walked the long way round to access the weights area which allowed her to avoid proximity with me.

All a coincidence?  Maybe, as these things can never be known for sure.  I say the bigger coincidence is the fact that her change of routine coincided with our parting of ways in respect to seeing each other outside of the gym.  

Q-tip 1:

A woman avoiding a man is a back-handed compliment to symbolize that she still holds sexual feelings for him.  When a woman makes no effort whatsoever to separate real estate between herself and the man she was once seeing or who showed interest in her, it is symbolic of a woman who is totally apathetic towards his existence. 

This kind or scenario has happened on more occasions than I can remember.  Women will tell you, and attempt to convince themselves and peers, that their instant change of routine is a by-product of being so busy and the fact their life is ever fast-paced changing.  I lean to the contrarian argument that in a calendar year of 365 days, it is once more a coincidence that this sudden change of events occurred when we went our separate ways.

Do men act in the same way?

On the basis I am right – women avoiding men they are sexually attracted to, and being indifferent towards men they are not sexually attracted to – and I think it is quite clear this is the case, how does the reverse dynamic compare?  How do most men proceed when situations arise of similarity?

On the rarer occasions when men break up with their female partners (as most break ups are instigated by women), I would expect that these men carry on with their routine with minor change up.  The main reason is because, as alluded to above, if the man broke up with his girlfriend or wife then the likelihood is that the woman is still into him (ironically, if he did break up with her, she is most probably even more into him than before that day).  With this in mind, if she is still smitten by him then it will be her who changes up her timing habits in order to avoid him.  The thought of seeing him even being near to another attractive woman would, in the immediate term (and sometimes for eternity), be a portrait too hard to bear.  With this said, he carries on as normal.

Staying on this rare occasion topic (when he splits up with her), it may well be that he does the rightful thing and, if requested by her on compassionate grounds, decides to place himself in places and at times when she doesn’t see him.  At the risk of contradicting myself with regards to the post title and lesson behind the words, I would possibly place myself in this category.  If I split up with a woman, and it is down to no greater reason than me no longer having the necessary emotional feelings towards her (or worse still, being unfaithful), then, once more if asked by her, I would consider moving to a new venue.  Much depends on the hassle it would bring to my life.  At the end of the day, I’m not entirely soulless.

Normal course of events

Where this analysis becomes more complex is when the normal course of events occurs – when the woman dumps the man.  In minority cases said man may be happy she dumped him, as he was losing enthusiasm anyway (good example would an ugly to below average looking couple), therefore he couldn’t give a crap either way and subsequently continues on with his whereabout regimes. 

Nevertheless, in most breakup cases - when a woman dumps a man - it will be more of a bolt out the blue and hit him in emotional and psychological negative ways.  Even if things weren’t right in the build up to the breakup (as most men can’t hide from the reality of knowing their female partner is losing interest, no matter how much they try to think otherwise), the vast majority of men will mope around for days, weeks, and even months in believing that life will never be the same again without her.  Sad, but true.

When this does happen, I find that a lot of men do one of two things:

·       One, a man strives as hard, or even harder, to place himself in the same environment as the woman who broke up with him.  It’s almost as if he thinks that she will eventually be worn down by believing she made a big mistake and is still into him.  Whilst in minority cases (as similar to my situation as explained up top) some women do reluctantly finish relationships with men they are still sexually attracted to, this rare condition is dwarfed by the masses of women who no longer even hold a passing thought of the man they left.  With all this considered, the man is wasting his time trying to overload his existence onto his exe’s eyes.

·       Two, a man does what a woman does (as explained in my situation above).  Men act like women in removing themselves from the woeful heart-wrenching feeling of seeing the woman who dumped him.  Generally, he spends a prolonged period of time feeling sorry for himself, most likely concurrent to stalking her on social media, instead of getting on with his life irrespective if she crosses paths with him or not.

The best course of action

I’m sure you probably know what I’m about to say, but my advice is to never let a woman dictate the routine you enjoy carrying out.  Even more so if she was the one who wanted pastures new.  Why should you be the one who changes up your life unnecessarily? 

An even better decision on a man’s part, on the basis it was he who was dumped by her (as I don’t think this advice is fair if you dumped her), is to interact with other women and strive hard to secure a woman who is hotter than the woman who jettisoned.  This, by no mean chance, will most certainly bring back an attraction from your ex.  The decision is then yours to who you choose, but all else being equal or of near parity, I strongly suggest never giving the ex another chance, and in turn firmly venturing on with the new girl.

Q-tip 2:

A woman is most attracted to a man when she knows he has another woman or other women hunting him down.  A woman is least attracted to a man when he doesn’t have a female partner or, worse still, there is no evidence other women are attracted to him.  When a woman has no sexual attraction onto a man (like the man she dumped), but she later finds substantiation that another woman/other women are interested in him, this female attraction threshold falls somewhere between the two extremes.