Friday 30 December 2016

What good guys should learn about girls who date jerks

"If you can't change for the better, don't change at all.”

Before I get into the nitty gritty of this post, take a look at the video link from the recent Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Cabello song.  It is another case of a visual and verbal script that allows girls, young women, and god forbid older women post 25 years of age, to substantiate that when they fall for dense, low-life and loser jerks, it just cannot be explained and consequently all should be forgiven.  It’s just too complicated to explain, so says the song, and at the end of the day it can't be her fault…  Strangely, if a man falls for a hot bitch who treats him like dog poo, this is all down to stupidity and the brain ruled by his dick.  You just can't beat life's hypocrisy, can you?

In terms of the story within the video, it is very much in line with what I see on rare occasions.  The rarity has to be stressed, because although there is a much higher percentage of women who would like to date a jerk than women who would admit to this predicament, the simple reality is there are not even close to enough jerks out there to satisfy all these female seekers.  This is why so many women settle for boring nice guys who they don't truly want to be with. 

Although American readers of this blog will be far more qualified than me in commenting on the relationship dynamic seen in the video, based on observations from my visits over the pond it isn't uncommon to see a Latin American cute chick with a white jerk looking guy sporting numerous tattoos.  I guess it is all part of the revolt mentality that goes through the girl's little head of hers.  That is, not only does she want the danger and excitement of the bad boy, but she also wants the attention, challenge, and motivation deriving from the thought of pissing her parents and community off by dating outside her race.     

The numbers analysis

Many naive men (as the majority of men are naive in emotional terms and in understanding women) can be brainwashed by female conversation that most men are jerks and don't treat women the way they truly deserved to be looked after.  Any man believing these words based on agenda, convenience and bullshit will never have an ounce of success going forward.

The easiest way to establish how many jerks there are in the male society is to take a step back and think of 100 random men you know in your direct, or even indirect, weekly interactions.  How many of them would you class as jerks, whether this is based on perception, anecdotal reasoning, or facts?  What number do you think treat women like crap?  If answered honestly, I doubt this would be more than 10 of them.  If I'm right on this, and I'm pretty sure I am, this would mean that 9 out of 10 men are not jerks.  In fact, a good number of the remaining 90 men would be weak, nodding dog orientated nice guys.  This is why you should always take a woman claiming she has such bad luck with men, and who always ends up being treated badly, with a pinch of salt.  The reality, for reasons that have been explained before, is that she is seeking out this minority of male reputation, profile and character.  At the end of the day, it is her choice.  Pity her, and don't feel sorry for or rescue her. 

Can good guys date women who have dated jerks?

As a self-proclaimed good guy, the simple answer is yes, but tread carefully.  Women who have a history of dating jerks are notorious for being extreme drama-hunting (due to the danger that she can broadcast in a few thousand words to her friends) and attention-seeking (a by-product of the drama to show off her importance to the world) people.  I stress the word extreme, because in the day and age of social media et al, nearly all women of all beauty and ages, at least in the western world, have an element of dramatic and attention requirement traits.  But fortunately a decent percentage of them do see the sense before it is too late, and they keep these negatives in moderation. 

Women who have frequently dated widely sought after jerks are often hot, but not always.  The highest number of them will be cute (7/10 to 7.75/10), and this is down to 4 main reasons:
  • Cute women outweigh hot women by at least 10 to 1, therefore the sheer numbers alone manifest to produce a higher number of cute women with jerks than hot women. 
  • Hot women, and especially extreme hot women (>8.5/10) or hot women from more affluent backgrounds, will have a stronger tendency to sway towards higher status (both occupational and social status) and rich men.  Although the largest proportion of these men are older, much lesser looking, and perhaps overweight, some of this male compartment will be younger lookers too.  It's no coincidence that professional sports stars are nearly always seen with women of 8.5/10 or greater in physical attractiveness terms.
  • Cute women often feel a greater need to be a follower, whereas although not necessarily any more confident internally, hot women can portray an external front to be more independent.  This means that a cute woman will cling to a leader - the jerk - who takes her through the muddy waters more than a hot woman would be inclined to do so. 
  • Hot women have bigger egos and more fragile prides than cute women, therefore they don't take kindly to people thinking a man would treat them badly.  With this possibility in mind, her sexual impulses won't be dragged towards the jerk as easily as the cute woman can be hypnotized.   

So as a good guy, my recommendation would be to use the woman who has dated jerks as if you are a jerk too.  This isn't to mean you should totally change your character into a jerk, but it would be prudent to care little to the consequences and make your life the priority.  She can fit in to suit you.  In the bizarre way female emotional psychology works, contrary to them verbalizing that they love a man to worship the ground they walk on and prioritize them, you will find she is forever running back for more.

In fact, this approach would produce even greater benefits than being an extreme jerk.  Because although a woman who has a string of jerk history will never lose this mindset in fantasy terms, her age does convince the mind that continuing with the jerk process will only ever have a sad ending.  Either he dumps her due to a better option, or she dumps him as the once excitement has diminished and he has nothing left to offer her life goals.  So a more genuine and responsible, but equally edgy, man will reap these rewards brought about from her past poor choices.

What I would also add is to not give more than what the jerks gave to her in the past.  If she gave her heart, body and soul to men who gave little exertion in return, why should you be the one to supply the endeavour, time and money that they weren't prepared to expend.  Don't be the sucker to be drawn in by her words of "I've come to my senses and now need a man to treat me well."  This is as good as her saying she gave the jerks everything for nothing, and now she will only give it all (and probably less) providing the new man gives far more in justifying her company.  Leave these unproductive and white knight efforts to the clueless nice guys.

A final thought

Only a couple of days ago I was in a car parts retailer in Nottingham, when I saw a cute girl of 7.5/10 standing just inside the entrance foyer.  She was kitted up on a cold day with tight jeans, tidy shoes, and an impressive coat.  Long straight brown hair accompanied a natural pretty face.  A young man alongside her was wearing a tracksuit, and he was average looking at best.  His mate, of similar age and chavvy dress style, was shouting off at the member of staff about wanting a stereo or something replaced.  The assumed boyfriend kept a bit quieter, but still gave his two pennies from his thick, unintelligent voice.  She said something to them in slight criticism manner, not in as common an accent, but still enough for me know she wasn't from the best part of Nottingham.  I can remember shaking my head at her when she looked at me, as if to let her know she could do so much better. 

But some women never learn, or they learn too late.  They either settle down with a jerk because they know nothing else, or they date jerks beyond their female peak beauty.  By then, even fewer unwanted nice guys will be holding out the hand of saviour, let alone quality men some of these women could have actually attracted years before.


Tuesday 27 December 2016

Men maximizing their life timescale

"Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
(Norman Vincent Peale)

It was Friday 23rd December 2016, and a rare occasion when my managing director said we could depart a few hours earlier than the usual grinding working day.  In truth, it didn't bother me one way or the other, but I took advantage of the extra time to seek out the last minute Christmas presents for family members.

I went into a small town called Loughborough, simply because it is the closest shopping centre to my work location.  Loughborough attains the typical British small town mentality from a native's perspective, but I have to say that due to the high population of university students (it is the number one UK college for sport education), there aren't half some nice sights during academic season days.  It reminds me of Kent State in north-east Ohio, somewhere I visited back in October.  Unfortunately due to the Christmas break, this particular day did not belong to the usual female eye candy on offering. 

There is only one department store of note, and after a few minutes downstairs I went to the upper level and along the far end wall.  In other words, my peripheral vision was only at the men's socks.  No passers by could be seen.  I then heard a voice from behind say to me, "Excuse me, do you know where the headphones are?"  I looked behind me to see a woman who looked in her late 40s.  With the greatest respect, she looked exactly like you would expect a woman in her late 40s to be.  Before I even had chance to answer, she added, "Are they upstairs or downstairs."  After a couple of seconds pause, I replied, "I can't be sure, but my guess is downstairs."  I didn't have a clue where they were, but I had enough on the spot brain cells to live in hope that this was a hint for her to leave without delay.  Her final words were, "Ok, I'll keep looking." 

An easy self-doubting moment

A less smart man, and I would include myself from many years ago in this category, could have resigned himself into a puddle of self-doubt from this passing situation in his life.  Once a less clued up man passes 30 years of age, it can be an easy assumed belief or external brain-washed attempt (by both the media and jealous tied down friends with no options) that younger women, and even a fair share of women his own age, no longer find him attractive.  They will also try cunningly to sway men in the direction of older women, desperately promoting how these more "mature" women offer greater personality, stability, maturity and enjoyable company that younger women cannot supply.  In a lot of cases, they are right, however these hidden agenda mindset people conveniently disregard what men, and especially men with options, desire ahead of all the aforementioned "qualities".  As if it needs saying, but it can never be said enough - this is female youth and physical beauty. 

For a few seconds via the event, even I scratched my head in assessing what the hell had just happened.  Was it an illusion!?  Then I only had to recollect a night out from the previous Saturday in my home city of Derby to know that inundated women aged from late teens up to early 50s were giving me bed eyes and pretty much validation that I'm, objectively and visually if nothing else, a decent catch.  Don't get me wrong, and in the case of the younger group (in particular women aged 24 to early 30s, but some younger too), this doesn't mean that every one of them will take it further with me.  Far from it.  Female egos, insecurities, confidence and trust issues make sure of this.  But, from a standpoint of visuals only, it proved what someone had told me many years ago. 

The male sweet spot age

I always remember a gym buddy of mine, who had not long turned 30, telling me experiences from the last year of his life with women.  He mentioned how, once he reaches his late 20s to early 30s, a man is at his physical peak in terms of attracting women on the isolated visuals.  This isn't even going into how men should be elevating their earnings, status, assets, confidence and attitude in concurrent running time.  What this manifests in real life motion is female eyes from all age corners projecting onto him.  Younger women see a physical specimen that has fully blossomed from the perhaps once boyish (but too clean) appearance, and older women feel he is now physically and mentally mature enough to be alongside them.  In the case of the latter, this is just deluded wishful thinking, with little appreciation to what the man himself wants.

So I would recommend to any man to take advantage of this stage in his life.  Too many men take the normal path that is to settle down in their 20s with the first decent woman who will have him, only to later regret not taking a back seat.  Once in his 30s, this exampled man never reaches his physical appearance peak such is the fact he got lazy, haggard and fat due to poor diet, a lack of exercise and sleep, and becoming too stressed with the provisioning husband and father role.  If you ever see this man, absent of his wife, get crazy, drunk, and over-excitable at the Christmas party, you will know exactly why.  He is trying to make up for the life predicament he finds himself in. 

The female comparison

On the other hand, women peak far earlier in physical impressiveness terms.  The largest share (I'd estimate 70%) of women look their best between 18 to 23.  A smaller percentage (20%) of them peak between 24 to 28, with the majority being at the younger scale of this five year range.  This leave a glass half full 10% who can look just as good at 29 or early 30s, but don't expect this to be too many you see in your life, and furthermore, don't be surprised to see a steeper ageing decline once the 30th birthday has been celebrated. 

This will explain why nights out are top heavy in women aged 18 to 23, and women aged in excess of 35.  The young bracket are maximizing their sexual worth, and the by-product attention received from all men - but mainly loser or mediocre man.  The older bracket are mostly divorcees who left their boring husbands or, in fewer cases, whose higher calibre husbands left them for a younger female rival, and they live in vain hope that they can still attract the same men from their younger self of 10 or more years ago.  Life just doesn't work this way.

This leaves the middle bracket of women aged 24 to early 30s who you don't see as frequently in bars or clubs, but who you are more prevalent to observe in the restaurants along the same street with their male partners or in mixed groups.  You may also see these women in female group gatherings over Sunday morning breakfast tables.  In simple terms, women from 24 up to the late 20s/early 30s have given up on the bar scene for two main reasons.  First, they have become uncomfortable with younger, fresher and hotter women in their faces.  Second, they have tracked down a beta male (or in rare occasions, an alpha male) who will commit to them while their physical pinnacle is still hanging by a thread. 

In summary, I offer you a 4-stage pattern of where women fall into depending on age:
  • Women aged 18 to 23 fall into two categories.  There are those who are more interested in the receiving of eye contact and direct attention from men, and they are seen on nights out regularly.  Finding a quality man (aka the biggest well known jerk or local high status man) is an objective, but it is a secondary motivation to the "Me, me, me" good time feeling.  Many of these women place maximum emphasis on a man's physical attractiveness.  However, there are also as many women in this age bracket who prefer, or at least are more comfortable in, DVD nights and cinema outings with their boyfriend.  Usually, this boyfriend is just a run of the mill looking guy who is not desired by many other women, and a bit of a lapdog. 
  • Women aged 24 to late 20s/early 30s are in the settling down phase.  They are just as intrinsically hungry for sexual optimization and male physical attractiveness as their younger self, and they also still take fondly to male attention and compliments, but as they are aware the days are ticking to find the best male proposition, it takes on a lower priority than a ring on her finger, a wedding day to plan and, if not totally repulsed by him, an impending motherhood role.
  • Women aged 35 to 39 split into three categories.  First, there are those still (less so) happily married or (more so) married with content feelings towards her husband.  These women don't go out much.  Second, there are the divorcees, separated, or cheating women.  They are on the look out and trying to make up for lost time based on previous poor choices.  Third, there are the never married women who may have lost front-minded hope of meeting "the one", but still live in dreamland that their day will arrive.  It rarely does, without settling for far less than the movie she watched last night.
  • Women aged 40 or older have most likely given up all hope of finding a quality man to commit to them - at all or again.  They have probably, in some shape or form, lived in all three phases as highlighted above.  To make life that little bit less damaging to the ego, some of them will sleep with low calibre younger men – in allowing her mind to vainly believe she is still attractive due to younger men sleeping with her.  Some of these younger male losers may even commit to her.  Nevertheless, more likely is the scenario where she tracks down a man 10 or more years older than her.  She isn't into him physically, but the life he can give her - both economically and in companion terms - is better than spending weekends alone.

And finally....

At the risk of blowing my own trumpet, I couldn't help but ponder what the woman in the department store actually thinks, or what she thought might happen, as she strolled up towards me.  Over the last few years I've visited many cities in many countries, and noticed how I strike the attention of women belonging to all ethnicities, nationalities, cultures, skin colours and religions.  When time has allowed, sexual encounters have developed with some of them.  I get just as much back home in the UK, albeit often with that touch more hostility and jealousy.  I'm an honest and objective guy who knows the best life is ascertained from a mind that lives in reality, so I'd be doing myself no justice or good service at all if these comments are born out of fallacy to make myself feel better about things.  Ultimately, it is the truth.

This can only mean one of two things.  Either I am a top end good looking man, or these women who look at me are also looking at most other men.  The latter cannot be dismissed, but once more living in the real world, it is highly unlikely. 

So in summary, does this woman have an all guns blazing thought process in shooting for the moon, perhaps in a way that is accustomed more to how men aspire (although this is still a tiny minority of men who do hit on much hotter women)?  If so, I can only applaud her, especially if she takes the perspective route that focuses on the possibilities, no matter how remote, and not the outcome.  This is the attitude I like and adhere to. 

On the other hand, I don't know many women who can take rejection in its true context and not go running for the trenches in the aftermath of despair.  After all, this is why 99% of women, no matter how desperate they are for love, do not approach men.  The arrogant among them will tell you they don't approach men because they don't need to, and they have a point.  Such is the vast numbers of low quality, horny and desperate men that, up until the female of approximately mid 30s, there will always be more desirable women than sought after men.  But the honest among women will tell you exactly why they don't approach men they don't know on a personal level, or men who are on their physical attractiveness level or greater.  Their egos and prides couldn't take the cold feeling of a potential rejection.    

But then once the late 30s have passed, the average man starts to become at least as attractive - both in physical and overall terms - than the average woman.  When women have fewer options, they just so happen to take more chances.  Perhaps this explains everything in that passing moment last week...

Saturday 17 December 2016

Improving edginess and finding confident friends

“Money doesn’t make a man.  A man makes money.”

Reader Bryce asks a couple of questions:

Hi Vinay,

Glad to hear you are going down the Q&A path. I have lots of questions all of which I don't recall at the same time so I'll start writing them down when they come to mind.

I'll start with a couple.

1) How does one add edginess to his vibe? (especially for introverted guys)
I'm aware of working out more, but I completed most of that I'm weighing almost 210 pounds (muscular build)

2) How do you find high-self esteem & confident friends?
I have trouble when entering a group, some of the guys/girls will be intimidated and bad mouth me to the others, so they really haven't had a chance to get to know me yet.

Also friends before redpill days are really passive-aggressive, they don't like the improved redpill version that I became. This goes for family as well...some not all.


My response:

To the first question.  Introversion is something that most men are.  It pretty much goes in line with the beta to alpha ratio - around 85% to 90% of men are beta, and 10% to 15% are alpha.  In addition, and not to spoil the answer to your second question, it also aligns with blue pill to red pill men -  that is 90% of men are blue pill, 10% are red pill. 

I'd always recommend another read of this post I published when it derives to becoming more extroverted and edgy, although I will add more.  Edginess, in primary form, is the by-product of a not giving a crap attitude.  I concede this isn't always possible, especially in work environments when perhaps you need to act more beta, head nodding, accommodating, selfless, compromising and nice in order to achieve the best results for yourself.  Not always, but often.  But in the face of women, and attempts to attract them, they love the thought of trying to win a man over who comes across as indifferent.

The big caveat to this is the fact you are of blessed physical attractiveness level.  Although implementing anti-game would be advised to all men (bearing in mind the vast majority of men are average looking) for most of their interaction time with women, good looking men need to tread far more carefully with proactive game techniques.  As women are already in awe of these men, more frequent reassurance and vulnerability tactics need to be used, without being too much of a push-over.   

At the risk of once more creeping over to your second question, edginess can also be improved by belonging to a "popular" group.  I have never desired, on long term consideration, to get involved with these groups.  For one, I've never felt they are welcoming of my presence.  Average or above average looking men don't like better looking men creeping into their territory, due to inferiority, intimidation, and knowledge you will attract the same girls.  Second, these people tend to be unintelligent and up their own backsides, and basically not enjoyable company.  Third, people taking on this life physically age badly.  It is basically a short shelf life at the top.  Nevertheless, the shear magnitude of belonging to a well known male group does attract a high share of cute and hot women.  Like anything else, when a mentality of high quality female options is at a man's disposal, he naturally acts less caring to each one.  Once more, women are attracted to this.  Edginess again is the subconscious manifestation of options and apathy. 

Working out does add edginess, because working out alone gives off greater testosterone.  Seeing that muscular body will give you confidence beyond what you attained, and confidence brings out edginess.  Be careful on how much muscle you put on though.  For one, women do genuinely (even though most of them lie on emotional topics) prefer toned muscle over a beefcake portrait.  Also, as women are so insecure, many will turn their backs on sculptured male bodies in preference for flabbier and cuddlier male bodies that make them feel superior and comfortable.  So you have to make that decision.  By the way mate, how tall are you at that weight?  I'm on the surface of 6ft, 168 pounds, and in pretty good profiled shape, so for you to carry that out with an extra 42 pounds must mean you are tall.

Now bordering fully onto the second question.  Well I think I covered above why the average man or woman will not give you an opportunity to show your engaging character.  In essence, men are threatened by you taking away their girls, and women's egos and perceptions aren't comfortable with your existence.  Life is tough, isn't it...

Finally, yes, you have hit it on the head with your comment on the bulk of society.  Most people are blue pill believers, and despite the exposure and available sources towards red pill, the increase year on year of realists over conformists will be negligible.  I don't foresee a time in the near future to when this will significantly change, because whilst the average man is horny and desperate, he is always a sitting duck for a female contrived pregnancy.  Once a dad, he will sway even more to his feminine and weak side.  

Put yourself in a position where you are not afraid of the consequences.  This would be the greatest advice I could give for a man desiring to enhance his edginess.  Remove outcome dependence from the mind.  Again, this is why, by and large, a non-committed man will be more edgy than a married man. 

Saturday 10 December 2016

Height issue and closing the deal

“Within every conceived success, prepare for failure, but never pre-determine the failure itself.”

A reader makes some good points regarding the predicament he finds himself in, and asks for my take on things:

I have a question. I'm a 5'4 mixed male. I've put my pictures up on websites to be rated and my face routinely scores 8-10 (or on -tile websites 95-99-tile). I'm working on my body, as well. My current adonis ratio is 1.54, my shoulder -width- is 20.5 inches, etc. 

I notice that whenever I go out and hit on women, many do really seem interested but for whatever reason I can't close the deal. Even the times when I apparently come off like a creep, it legitimately seems like they're enjoying me or me touching them or whatever until a certain point. A lot of the time they will call me some stupid thing like 'Oh Mr. Cool' or whatever. 

Also, people in social groups --- just through my sheer presence --- I notice feel an urge to put me down about my height or to challenge me or whatever else. Like, my sort of cocky attitude maybe is a turn-off? 

On the one hand, I am being treated more or less like an afterthought as you can see. On the other hand, am I headed in the right direction and are these just growing pains? 

My response:

You come across as a very honest person, so as you will expect in being a regular reader of this blog, I'll give you total honesty in return. 

First, the good news.  Although I consistently write that high level male facial blessings and impressive body profile can be a disadvantage to a man in terms of women (mainly women post 23) being prepared to sleep, date, and be in relationships with him, they will often have greater resistance towards these men who are at least of average height (5ft 10").  Needless to say, a very good looking man with a stand out body of 6ft or taller sustains even more resistance and rejection, simply because the women he hits on will assume he is just after a quick pump and dump due to the vast options he attains with other women, and they think (rightly or wrongly) he is ultimately poor long term consideration.  High social status and fame, and to a lesser extent extreme wealth, mitigates this resistance significantly, but for the other >99% of men in the real world, this categorically applies.  So in a bizarre kind of way, your shortcomings in height terms eliminates this automatic female jealousy, hostility and dismissiveness on a majority scale.

On a not dissimilar analysis to the above, your "sort of cocky attitude" again gives you more leeway than a man equivalent to you who is 6ft tall.  Once more, a god gifted looking tall man acting with cockiness will come across as unattainable with >95% of women worth having (weirdly, men in this compartment have more leeway with past prime older women in their 30s and 40s), whereas a man of your height will actually be given a fairer chance.  

I'd always recommend cockiness over kiss-assing when it derives to a man acting around women, however unless you belong to a high popular local group, this cockiness can be counter-productive.  Despite some other blogs advising men to act like he owns the place he strides in, you have to remember that young women in this modern day - with all the pressures to look good that manifests in their growing self-consciousness and self-doubts - do not have much inner confidence.  Sure, most men can be fooled by the high fives, male ridiculing, looking down at mobile phones to convince herself she is so in demand, and inundated social media attention from the loser and mediocre male population, but this doesn't fool smart men like me.  An external front usually aligns to an internal lack of belief.  So I'd be careful on how far you take this cocky demeanour.

Male cockiness and male confidence can be distinguished and separated if used astutely.  You can act indifferent without being a role played jerk.  Talk to her without smiling too much.  Disagree without being too abrupt.  Be opinionated, but agreeable when necessary.  Talk about neutral environmental scenarios - not too much about her, but certainly not over-hyping yourself.  Act like she means something to you, without it coming across like she is the only girl in the world.  Reassure her at times, but never let her think you can't walk away.  Life is about a happy medium, mystique, and a level of unpredictability - and women love this approach in a man.   I feel like you may be swaying just a bit too far towards the cocky side.  If so, pipe it down a touch.  Forget the creepiness though to compensate.  Even Enrique Iglesias acting creepy and suck-up would be a turn off to cute and hot women.

Now to the not so good news, although I doubt this will come as much surprise to you.  Your height, in spite of the blessed face and good body, is a disadvantage to your romantic and sexual conquest prospects.  Most women will want a man taller than themselves, and in fact most women desire him to be at least 3 inches taller than her due to the high heel situation (so she is still no taller than him when wearing them).  This undeniable fact is relevant whether the man is ugly, average, or good looking.  Once more, high male social status, wealth and good attitude can make her compromise on her ideal male height, and in fact I have over the last few weeks seen about half a dozen bangable looking women with shorter guys.  Nevertheless, don't think this is a common theme.  Nearly all women, all else equal, want taller men.  Those women who say they aren't bothered are either lying or desperate for anything with a penis and a job. 

But this does kind of lead me onto my ultimate point and advice.  This is: valid screening you will need to put in place to improve your success to failure ratio.  A minority of cute girls (7/10 to 7.75/10, although rarely any higher), are to be seen with shorter guys.  These women are usually no older than 24, which is even better news for you.  If you have seen a girl in this bracket with a boyfriend around your height, have a quiet word with her using the tips as given above.  These women tend to be on the shy side, natural followers, and low in confidence (even lower than the low benchmark earlier explained!).  I can spot these girls a mile off, just by their weak body language, awkward and intimidated walk or stance, poor eye contact (at first anyway), and opportune moments to look at their phone (because they don't feel comfortable just mixing in).  As a guy of 6ft tall and of similar facial and body blessings to you, I wouldn't, despite my dick telling me otherwise, stand a chance with this kind of female character.  She wouldn't give me a chance.  

But you would.  Your good looks will strike her, but in the knowledge you aren't going to receive anywhere close to the female attention as a much taller man who looks the same as you, she finds you attainable and appealing (and hopefully sexually attractive too).  These are the fruits hanging off the tree that you should leap for.  

A couple of other brief points. 
First, your mention of not closing the deal.  Ask for her number sooner rather than later.  At least then you haven't wasted too much time elevating her ego, and it will also leave you with less resentment and more optimism for the next one.  Remember that women are attracted to men who go for what they want in the shortest timescale possible.  It's only women's egos that tell you the opposite applies.  This isn't being cocky.  It is being decisive. 
Also, give her a little line like "So do you feel like you can get past your perception and start seeing a man like me.  I guess if you are confident, you will."  This portrays a level of value on your side (that a woman needs to be confident to date you), in conjunction with giving her a little challenge in her mind.  Women love emotional challenge, and you have given her that task. 

Finally, as a mixed-raced guy myself, you still have to accept that a tiny minority of white women will still only date white men.  If so, these women aren't worth the time of your day.

Side note:
After nearly 200 posts and 350k words, this blog will be going down the line of reader Q&A.  So if anyone has a burning issue to get off their chest, I'll make efforts and time to reply in a post format.  I'll still look to write any subjects on my own behalf that hit me on any given day, but I think the last few years have more than given a good insight into the relevant subjects people were perhaps confused about or reluctant to face the truth.

Saturday 26 November 2016

Women’s and men’s main difference

“Don’t be afraid in being unique, different, or a grain against the norm. 
The norm may well be completely wrong.”

There are so many differences between women and men that this isn’t the time to go through them all.  This blog has pin-pointed many items that reflect these gender contrasting habits, emotions, predilections, rationalizations - and ultimate decisions on the back of it all - whether directly or indirectly, from the start of posts being published.  
When it arrives on the doorstep of partner preference and sexual appetite, nothing comes close to illustrating this difference than how pre-selection attained from the opposite sex impacts on the hunger this has on others from the opposing gender.  It’s important to note the distinction between preference and sexual appetite, against conclusive choice.  More on this later…

Over recent years there have been a number of cases where certain females (often University aged) would put their virginity up for sale.  I was going to reference one of the stories, but quite frankly they are everywhere.  Some women were prepared to go on a lie detector to prove their virgin status.  I’m not sure what the outcomes were, but needless to say there would have been no shortage of male bidders.  Further needless to say, but I’ll do it anyway, the more physically attractive the woman, the more male bids and the higher the price.

One day as I waited for a hair appointment, I picked up a magazine and saw a reader question section at the back.  One man wrote in, tongue in cheek in his question I can only hope, picking up on this subject.  He mentioned whether it was worth him trying the same thing to earn some cash. I credit the magazine, because it would have just been easy for them to just disregard the reader and place his question in the rubbish bin.  Instead, the “Doctor Love” answer was spot on.  In humour but valid return, they responded in the way of stating how women despise celibate men, and in fact he may well have decent chance of female interest if he used it as them being the thousandth woman to sleep with him.

Notch modesty creates dry female panties

I always recall one mistake I made on this topic a good few years ago.  I was in a relationship with a very facially pretty woman, although her body was little above average. She thought she was hotter than objectively clearly showed.  Early on in our dating phase, she sent me a text mentioning that I was a stud, and I know it.  At the time I thought it could have been a bit of a dig or a cry for reassurance of my feelings towards her, but I just ignored it.

A few weeks later when we were lying in bed, she brought the topic up again.  I’ve slept with far more women than the average man – hopefully because I’m a fairly decent catch, but undoubtable stronger reason due to, unlike most men, I didn’t choose to settle down with the first half-decent woman who put her arm around me.  But with hands up naivety on my part back then, I chose to understate the truth in hope that the reward was her easing of trepidation. When I looked at her face, it was the all so familiar face of a fake female smile.  In other words, her external view attempted to show glee, simultaneous to internal disappointment and frustration.  Her ego felt better, but her sexual urge had slid in those moments.

In a way, I could get away with this humble wrong move much more than an average looking man.  When women are faced with good looking men, they do need some level of comfort that he will stick around, and this is most relevant in the early stages of the relationship.  Although excessive female pre-selection will always make a woman more sexually into you, and give her heightened urges to date you, many of them will also avoid a man if he comes across as too unattainable for loyal boyfriend material.  This is all the more common with women above the age of 23.  Also, an average looking man with a high notch count will get more leeway than a very good looking man with the same notch count, all else being equal.       

The bigger mistake I made on this occasion was the fact I was already nailing her.  Outside of prostitution, once a woman has decided to have sex with a man, it usually means she is in love with him.  Even a woman deciding to have a one night stand with a man she finds sexually arousing, with knowledge it won’t last, will frighteningly love this man far more than the man she eventually marries.  This is why there is such a small link between love and marriage.  Women are in love with men who are hard to pin down and commit.  Women can love (but are not in love with), like a best friend, men who will marry them.  Cross-overs do exist, but in percentage terms these occurrences are rare. 

Men’s ideal female partner sexual history

Now yes, some men do marry women who have collated a fair number of past male sexual partners.  But two points to this:
·         A high percentage of men who commit to women who have slept with a high number of men (often more men than women he has slept with) are men with low appeal and stricken in options.  You will often find men of this kind with female partners who have children from previous endeavours – and, by no mean coincidence, a high number of male sexual partners from the past.  Her options are limited due to this past baggage on her behalf, and unwanted men are her only feasible targets.
·         All else being equal – essentially, primarily and predominantly this being a woman’s physical looks – a man will prefer to settle down and commit to a woman with fewer past sexual partners than the one with a higher quantity.

This isn’t to say that men want a virgin, as these women, unless spending years on end rehearsing moves for when the real thing happens, are useless, reactive, non-experimental and lacking knowledge in bed.  This is why the unofficial rule of thumb for ideal male preference, at least for longer term commitment, is a woman who has slept with 3 to 4 men that consisted of long term (6 months or more) relationships.  With further ideology, this woman will be around her mid 20’s when the fourth one was popped.  Any fewer, and the likelihood is she borders onto being boring between the sheets.  Significantly more, and the question mark always floats above the bed-posts stating possible slut or poor long term (or heaven forbid, marriage) material.

A final thought

I’ve often noticed that both women and men get it awfully wrong in their exploitations of pre-selection when attempting to attract members of the opposite sex they like.  Women play the wrong hand as, due to their uncontrollable need to feel wanted, special, and to show the world how popular and valuable they are, they will seek the attention of other men, whether directly (in social environments) or indirectly (social media, texting) and in turn try and get her target man jealous.  As men don’t use jealousy productively in being further attracted to a woman, this doesn’t have any positive implication – other than him thrusting inside that bit harder than usual to maybe teach her a lesson.  All a woman needs to do is maximize her hotness, emphasize her loyalty, and illustrate her good girlfriend material traits, in keeping her man attracted and interested. 

On the other hand, and as explained throughout this post, women are more attracted to men, at least in most cases, when other women show interest.  Yet the vast majority of men do not acknowledge or comprehend this female uncontrollable taste, so they act like prince charming in proving she is the only girl in the world and he only has eyes for her.  Bad move. 

So if ever you want to see how women are most infatuated by a man, look for those who hang around a man who is in the proximity of, and interacting with, other women.  I’m sure your girlfriend, in this same timeframe, will be telling you how much she hates this and how much she loves the way you act by not doing so.  Do you believe this?  Neither does she.  

Saturday 19 November 2016

Why some men enjoy getting older

“Those who concede early, are those who have lost all hope.”

It can be a justified assumption, especially by women in their (mid to late) 30’s and 40’s, that a large proportion of men try to stay young beyond their years and hold onto their youth.  It’s no coincidence that women in this age bracket category are the most prone to criticize and ridicule, because in simple explanation they are worried about men – men who were once below them (or well below them) in overall appeal level to the opposite sex – now becoming more “marketable” than them in relative terms.  As this once mediocre appealing man tries to do certain things to attract women, in visiting the gym more than before, dressing more youthful, and maybe actually styling his hair for once, the unfortunate reality is that a high percentage of women past their mid 30’s are now lucky to turn the head of just one man per month.  And that one man is often a desperate loser. 

On this subject, I can recall a few months ago a bit of discussion between women in the office about them preferring men to just let the grey come out of their hair when father time strikes.  Playing the role of a totally innocent bystander who knew nothing about life or women, I chose to ask them therefore why men dye their hair.  The woman in her early 40’s said it is because it makes men feel better about themselves (really, I thought women base their decisions on fulfilling this emotion?). 

Her answer gave me a rise smile. The easy and truthful reason is because men essentially are innately born to hunt the most physically attractive women they can plausibly grasp, and the most physically attractive women will be pre 30, and even more so pre 25.  Although women don’t place great emphasis on a man’s physical looks in relation to his other offerings, they still are attracted to a man who looks after himself and who doesn’t look old enough to be their father.  With this in mind, it is a male sub-conscious, but usually conscious, decision to strive to attract younger women, and one of the contingencies many men use is to get rid of the grey hairs.   

You rarely hear women in their late teens to mid-20’s complaining about or ridiculing men looking younger.  For women who have the natural tendency to be with an older man, they actually would prefer him to look younger than what is shown on his birth certificate. 

Men who want to get older  

With all the above said, there is a minority of men who in fact, if you didn’t know them better, come across like they are enjoying getting older.  There is a fine line but clear distinction between a man having pride in getting older – hence acknowledging the experience, wisdom, maturity, status, financial stability, confidence, personality – that age brings, in relation to actually “enjoying” the extra candle on the cake as each year passes.

I for one have many friends who have been, and still are, promoting of being older.  I can even remember two of them during a male party vacation in Greece when we were 22, and instead of mixing with the thousands of young girls on offering, they would have a meal and then go straight to internet cafes.  Not a word said to one woman.  One of them stated he had a thing for women with beer bellies!  The other claimed it was because he felt like a veteran, having started this entire going out activity when he was 15.  The truth is that both had physically let themselves go, and they could no longer attract the hottest girls.  It’s not only women (although it is mainly women) who make up rationalizing theories to ease their prides, in making life that little less damaging on their ego.

But the more common reason men have for enjoying an increase in age, and this goes hand in hand with those who put on weight and start to physically age badly, is that they are trapped in committed relationships that involve children, marriage, or both.  There isn’t a fat man out there with a fat wife who wouldn’t want to nail a younger, slimmer and hotter woman, but the easy path to choose in making life seem that bit more reassuring is to say it is too late, too immature, too illogical, too immoral, or he is too old - to be that guy.  We can all play the moral high ground whilst reality runs its normal course of events in placing obstacles in front of our dreams and preferences, but morals quickly go out the window when the once unlikelihood is thrown our way as an option.

This is why there are only a tiny minority of people who are worth listening to on face value.  Too many people, men and women alike, have morals on the one hand simultaneous to pre-planned bullshit justifications on the other hand, just in case they had to break the code of practice and integrity.  Men proceed with this cowardly act more silently, whilst women broadcast their high and mighty principles - only to later look foolish when broken.  But when even court of laws can justify why women act out infidelity, despite their husband doing nothing wrong other than being the sucker who married without her truly loving him, who’s going to stand in their way?   

Saturday 12 November 2016

Smart men de-scale their wealth

“Never let a woman know how much money you have.”

As much as the above phrase stands out like a sore thumb in my memory, I cannot take credit for it.  This came from a reasonably wealthy gym buddy of mine about 5 years ago, and it was around the time I seriously commenced the transition from blue pill conditioned belief into red pill acceptance. 

The man I reference was in his early 40s, with smartness that justifiably matched his life experience.  That said, when it comes to male knowledge of female psychology, a red pill mindset, and carrying it out in practice (because some men nod their heads when reading posts such as this, but then choke and not deliver when it counts), the vast majority of men are still clueless or ignorant to reality.    

He was into property development, and attained a decent amount of good investments in his portfolio to assist the odd poor decision.  In the case of the latter, we all make those.  He knew I belonged to the camp, even as a blue pill man from years prior, with a distaste towards women who consciously sought after men with money, and equally he knew I didn’t think it was necessary or sensible to ever tell a woman how much you have.  He did end the topic of conversation with words to the effect that unfortunately, once married and with kids (which he was/had), this concealment can only go so far - even to the point where every card has to be shown.  I remember thinking then how much this predicament would send a shiver down my spine in the future, but maybe it would be me one day.

The customary man

It will come as no surprise to consistent readers of this blog when I point out that when it derives to making smart decisions in life, and in particular around the subject of their interface with women, men generally do the opposite.  Some learn over time, but most don’t.  Why?  Men are not comprehensive to what makes women tick, how the female mind works, and what ultimately radiates a happier life for both genders in the relationship.

Not dissimilar to how women lie to make themselves look better in the face of the watching and listening public, to enlarge their egos, and to protect their prides, men also tell porky pies in perhaps a less discrete fashion.  I always remember a former work colleague who looked slightly down at me from a height perspective, yet he claimed he was 6ft 2”.  Who was he kidding!  Penis size?  Well not that I’ve ever got involved in a conversation to this degree with another man, but equally I would expect most men, even if asked on an anonymous basis, would put an inch or two on.  How long do they last in bed?  Ditto, by five or ten minutes.  Earnings and assets?  This is where the lies really start, especially when they are trying to “impress” a woman they hold desires to get into her pants.

Don’t get me wrong, elevating your remuneration package does have benefits when used accordingly.  Unless hugely unhappy in your job, it is usually advantageous to tell a recruitment consultant that you are on ten percent or so more than what the pay cheque shows, as this will only make them seek out a higher paid future position for you.  Nevertheless, telling women you earn more or own more than actuality proves will only reap negativities over a sustained period of time for the following reasons:

  • A woman who is primarily interested in a man for his money, over and above any of the other couple of dozen metrics she considers in him, is fundamentally a woman who will love choose him for what he is and not who he is.  They say love has a sell by date, and it is probably decreasing for every year that passes by due to the modern day female demands, but rest assured that natural love will always trump money if you harbor ambitions to be in a happy relationship.
  • A woman’s psyche with money and gifts is essentially the same as a kid’s mentality with toys.  They will be appreciative in the moment of unwrapping, but the following day this gratitude will be less than the day it was presented.  The day after it will be appreciated less again, to the point where it is forgotten, and expectancy of a more expensive replacement is the requirement.  The more he gives her, the more she expects.  If you are a man happy to join this club, then be my guest, but I won’t be in the queue behind you. 
  • A woman needs a challenge with the man she is with.  This means a man can never allow her to believe she holds him in in the palm of her hands, that he can do no better, and that he will never leave her no matter how much of a beast she becomes.  A man who tries to win a woman over with money and assets is a man who takes this challenge away from her, and over time she will only become repulsed with his actions.
  • The female thought pattern of love and male selection doesn’t change over time.  It just simply adapts.  When you see a teenage girl with a loser boy who has not a penny to his name, even to the point where she would steal or sell to please him, this is a girl in love lust.  Just because this girl gets older doesn’t mean she becomes wiser.  She may say she has, but ultimately all that has happened is she has changed her priorities to offer herself a better life.  She is looking for the sucker who will give her this life.

Of course needless to say, but important to clear up, the great guys out there are men who strike the sweet spot balance.  These quality and savvy men maximize their earnings and assets potential, but do not put it on a conveyor belt platter for the woman they accompany.  Even if he earns a hundred fold her equivalent, he will ensure she still invests significantly in the relationship.  This may be a case of her only paying for every third or fourth outing together, and it may just be paying for the movies or something low cost, but she has still exerted some of her energy and expenditure instead of always being the recipient. 

Why do men try and impress women through their wallets?  Pure and simple, most men cannot attract most women worth having (7/10 or greater physically attractive woman) by the means of his physical attractiveness, his confidence/attitude/personality/charisma, his dress style, or his profile.  They think that by giving her bullshit about what he has will impress her.  It may at first, but it is a monster with a belly that only gets bigger, and never shrinks.

Caveat to all the above

Now a very smart man can use the conversation of his vast amounts (even if fallacy driven) of money to get a woman into bed.  If he leads with a short term mentality, this is not a bad tactic at all.  As the modern day woman is appealed to wealth in so far as it will benefit her directly and indirectly, more women than not will be attracted rather than put off by his words of a pound note or two.  Some women may see through the porkie pies, but generally speaking most women (and a high percentage of the best looking women have a low intelligence level) will at the very least want to know more.

Nevertheless, unlike a very high status man - who has proven popularity, wealth, profile, and pre-selection validity via other women - a man unknown to the target woman boasting about his cash will hardly ever get her (on the basis she is a woman worth having) to open her legs for him on that first meeting.  She will need further proof before taking the risk and later “accidently” forgetting her contraceptive pill in hope to get pregnant to the supposed rich man she has found.  In fact this thought leads me to further unplanned advice.  If she does fall for your cunning plan, make sure you use a condom.    

On the assumption she won’t fall for it straight away, you will then somehow need to pick her up in a decent car and come up with a story that doesn’t ever lead to the necessity in going to your modest residence.  Or you could devise the fact you are here on business, and hope she sleeps with you before any pursuit of the big 10 bedroom mansion she perceives you to own.  The hotel room will cost money that shouldn’t need to be spent, as a woman attracted to you for who you are will drop her knickers down a side alley of a Chinese restaurant, but that choice is yours.  In essence, a man trying to impress a woman via money is on a hiding to nothing, and time will not appease him in the slightest.


Saturday 5 November 2016

Women’s manipulating male age guessing tactics

“We all need to wear a mask from time to time in order to swim through the muddy waters of life.  It’s just that some people forget to ever take it off once on shore.”

The next few minutes of reading this post will tell you everything about how women usually cunningly, or sometimes innocently, play the game of male age prediction.  Depending on the scale of cunning to innocence often depends on the age of the woman herself, as will be explained. 

Most people have a form of dishonesty in them from time to time.  Some use dishonesty more frequently than others, almost to the point where it comes as second nature with very little contrition inside.  They have pretty much convinced their mind that they are whiter than white, and any extreme lie is actually only a small fib - and used to protect the welfare of others.  Believe this at your peril.

Women lie far more than men, despite what women like to tell you and what men are suckers enough to believe.  A very small minority of men will lie more than most women, but women on a broad scale lie more than men.

Why is this the case, you may ask?  The only way to get total honesty out of a person is in two forms.  First, they need to be placed on a 100% accurate lie-detector.  This forces them into the corner of honesty.  Second, the subject they are talking about or the question they have been asked needs to be one that doesn’t move their emotions in a negative direction if they tell the truth.  Simply put, they need to answer before their ego, pride, agenda, or wishful thinking brain ticks in.  So in essence, this is why women lie more than men.  Their innate character function forces them to protect their profile, convince others all is great in their life and superior to their peers, play the victim if it suits, and basically portray themselves as an honest, simultaneous to popular, person.  Usually the truth doesn’t align with this process.

Scenario 1 – the older woman

About a year ago, an Indian ethnicity (although born and raised in England) woman approached me in a bar.  It was clear she wanted more in romantic terms than me, but I was my usual friendly and engaging self. 

As the night moved on to the early hours of the morning in a different place, her tipsy demeanour gave her the confidence in attempts to move things on.  This was all in ignorance of the clear commitment ring on my finger, and explanation of a girlfriend (also exaggerated by telling her we were soon to get married).  She even told me about her teenage son and daughter, as if I’d be impressed with this.  I eventually managed to just steer away from her.

I see this woman every so often, as she works in the supermarket near to where I live.  She has also started to attend the gym I go to, and I have seen her there the odd time at the weekend.  Last Sunday she started training near to me, claiming she had never seen me there before.  Let’s believe that shall we!

She then started to inform me about her age, stating that nobody can believe how old she is.  A fair comment, as on this rare occasion it is a woman who does look younger than the birth certificate – as she told me she celebrates her 50th birthday next year.  She could pass for early 40s.  She then said she thought I was 37, to which I smirked and replied: “Cheeky, I’m not that old.”  I saw straight through her guess, and this will be explained in due course.

Scenario 2 – the younger woman  

Around the back end of July this year I saw a white girl walk into the gym and go upstairs.  From a distance she looked about 23.  When I engaged with her, straight away this age assumption of mine seemed optimistically (depending on how you view it) high.  I sensed an attraction of some kind on her part, although it did appear slightly reserved and intimidated.

For a cute girl (7.5/10) she actually attained a friendly personality, and even asked questions about me.  She had brains to match, and started talking about her last year at University approaching.  I consequently said that she could only be 21, to which she said this birthday arrives at the back end of the year. 

She then asked me my age, and I told her politely to mind her own business.  I did eventually tell her I was 30, to which she replied in thinking I looked 25.  We parted ways, and I saw her a week later with a skinny guy, looking no older than 20, who was like her puppet prior to being dragged towards the spin class.  I assumed it was her boyfriend, despite the non-existent physical chemistry between them.

The general trend

Most people say I look 28 to 32, therefore let’s, for argument sake, take the 30 for average purposes.  Both women have differing motivations to say what they say.  The above anecdotes may only be two examples from female age extremes, but I can assure you this would be the case with most women in similar circumstances. 

The older woman attracted to a younger man dynamic has an external voice ruled by a mind that wants to think he is older than the truthful voice within tells her.  She wants to bridge the age gap, and physical appearance gap, to one which eases her ego the most.  She has to hold some kind of credibility by not saying he is too much older than what the naked eye sees, but equally it is in her interest to drag him as close to her as possible.

Older women also don’t like men looking younger, especially men post 30, so they will often use an increased guessing age to try and peg him down a step or two.  In addition to all this, older women hate the thought of men who they think they can secure being interested in younger women.

The younger woman documented in this post has a different process in her verbalized delivery of male age.  As she is in the prime of her beauty, popularity, social and romantic options, all is rosy in the garden of life.  There is no need or motivating emotion to say anything other than the truth.  Or is there…?

Logic would suggest that she just instinctively answers what comes in her head, because there is no need to either increase or decrease the age number she thinks.  This would usually be the case.  However, if a young woman of 20 is actually sexually attracted to an older looking man, she may in fact take a few years off his age to assist the justification and belief that it could work between them.

A few rules of thumb:
  • Older women (in particular aged >35) will say a man looks older than he is, if she is attracted to him and he is younger than her.
  • Older women may, more often than not, say a man looks older than he is even if she is not attracted to him.
  • Older women dating men older than themselves will say their man looks younger than he is, only if he looks at least a good few years older than her.
  • Older women dating men older than themselves – where their man looks younger than her – will most likely just say he looks the age he is. 
  • Younger women (<25) will just say a man looks however old she thinks he looks, if there is no emotion either way that she has projected onto him.
  • Younger women will say a man looks the age she thinks he looks, if he is of similar age or marginally older than her.
  • Younger women will sometimes say a man looks younger than she thinks he is, if she is attracted to him.

No man can ever maximize his enjoyment and profitability with women until he learns how their minds work.  It’s a shame more men don’t work it out, because it would in turn make women obtain greater attraction.  Both parties would be happier too.  Surely this is what a man wants, right?  But unfortunately the modern day mindset man either believes what a woman tells him, or he is too frightened of the ramifications if he were to question her honesty and integrity.