Saturday 15 October 2022

One step ahead, or many steps behind?


“If it means being different but happy, it is better than being a clone with no identity.”


It has definitely dawned on me recently how different I have become to the vast majority of people in the British society.  I doubt Britain is that much different to most other western countries with regards to the topic embedded in this post (and my observations when being abroad would back this up), therefore if this is the case then I must be different to most people generally. 

I am not even necessarily complimenting myself in this respect too.  Whilst I’m thoroughly happy with the person I have become, and I hold no interest in changing unless there was an absolute guarantee it would benefit and improve my life in a tangible way, in addition to making me genuinely happier, it has struck me how over recent years I have become unattached to the many thousands of people I see, or the hundreds of people I interact with, during an average year.

I list just some:

  • ·       Most people are obsessed with social media platforms, and how they can exploit their existence to the rest of the world.  I do anything I can for people not to know things about me.
  • ·       Most people are infatuated with their phones, in constant head down and looking at it as much as they can in lieu of any human eye contact with people they do not know personally.  I have my phone in my pocket as much as possible (and leave it in my bag during gym time or similar).
  • ·       Most people idolize celebrity figureheads – even those famous for possessing no talent - in order to have a role model they can suck up to.  I have no role models, and I certainly see nothing special in famous people.
  • ·       On the next level down, most people will kiss ass people they know in their daily lives if there is something about that person that is well known, higher status, or admirable.  I wouldn’t dream of doing this in a million years.
  • ·       Most people – both women and men - seek the comfort of being in the company of others such is their safety in numbers mentality.  Whilst I enjoy the company of others in limited doses, I prefer my own company.
  • ·       Most people follow the path of what society (usually unspoken) expects from them.  I certainly condemn people who break the laws, but I hold admiration to the minority, like myself, who do not follow the rules that society guides them towards.
  • ·       Most people (women mainly, but men subsequently follow women in seek of their approval) enjoy drama, complications, and issues in life.  I prefer a simple and quiet life, with as little drama in it as possible.
  • ·       Most people follow the crowd, even if it is a pastime or process that they are not happy or comfortable with.  I will not waste time, money or energy on anyone or anything who/that would not piss on me if I were on fire.
  • ·       Most people get by in life on lies, bullshit, and fabricated stories.  I like honesty, straight talking, and people who back up their words with actions.
  • ·       Too high a percentage of men have become too feminine, passive, lapdog oriented, and agreeable for my liking.  Concurrently, too high a percentage of women have become masculine, arrogant, unapproachable, and thinking they are considerably better than their objective value to the world.  This all goes totally against my liking.  I like men to be firm and masculine, and for women to be pleasant and feminine.
  • ·       Most people have no self-identity or uniqueness in their character, such is the default mentality as explained from all the above.  I strive to be unique and identified - stressed in an effortless manner and not one seeking attention - in order to know that even if I die tomorrow, I have left my mark on life.

When did it all come to this?

It is hard to pinpoint an exact time or date when people started to in essence be self-conscious acting human beings, concurrent to the sheep following mentality that brought about no, or little, uniqueness or identity to their existence.  Often with things that are transitory, there is never a defined start date.  The gradual process simply grows day by day, to the point where years later it seems like a different world to once was.

Not that I’m saying that none of the above bullet-point examples did not exist fifteen or twenty (or more) years ago.  What I would say though is that, without living or conscious anecdotal or otherwise proof, I would expect that things have escalated in detrimental terms far more in the last couple of decades than the couple of decades that led before.

In other words, I predict there was not so much of a change in an average person’s character between the years of 1982 to 2002, in comparison to between the years of 2002 and 2022.  Maybe those who have lived and studied this dynamic through both eras are better placed than me to comment?

What brought this all about?

The internet evolution in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s would play a big part in this.  Suddenly people were exposed to, and had access to, a lot more information on other people’s lives than ever before.  Whilst studying the lives of others may be beneficial to kill some idle time and add some talking points, generally if one person is constantly reading about another person’s far (on paper at least) more eventful and wealthy life, it usually only has a sad ending to the former person’s mindset.

Celebrity magazines (granted, these were around pre-2000) that emphasized the apparent fame and wealth of people in high places also did nothing to help.  Again, all this assisted in doing was taking the focus away from making the best of yourself, and instead taking preference to kiss ass those inside the pages.

Social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc – in my opinion played the biggest role in losing people’s individuality.  All this manifested an ever-growing mentality to be part of an in-crowd and forever obsessive knowing of what is going on with everyone else’s life.  Jealousy, back-stabbing, FOMO, fear that another peer’s life is better than your own – were just some of the poisons that could be spread from the social media phenomenon.  Nevertheless, all the aforementioned did not come close to how social media robotically forced people to follow rather than lead and be yourself.

Talentless goblin TV programs Love Island, Geordie Shore, Made in Chelsea, Desperate Scousewives etc – and the by-product of making people famous based on zero talent, falls only slightly behind social media in the demise of society.  Suddenly programs of this type gave hope to the girl next door with little intelligence or talent, that she could be the next person to make a dream life for herself without ever having to do a normal job and live in a world of demanding work and reality.  If she (or he) couldn’t make it, she would then supplicate to the person on television who did make it, most likely almost trying to live her own life as one seen on screen.


There is nothing wrong in having a dream.  Dreams are healthy when implemented correctly, as a substantial proportion of life is spent living in hope.  Hope is what keeps us alive, no matter how dark the day has been.  However, when dreams take over from reality, and a person has no plan B to compensate, there is rarely a closing chapter which offers a happy conclusion.

A final thought

I am not going to lie.  I have often thought that the life I have fallen into may not be what offers the best avenues to modern day women.  Some women will respect me for being this way (in fact most women will respect me, if they are being honest), but as modern day women are now far more focused and accustomed in their minds to be part of a crowd that draws in the most numbers – even if this means being with men who do not beat their hearts or wet their panties – then it has most likely left me playing the low law of averages.

So maybe I am the one who has got it wrong, in spite of believing I have got it right?  Maybe had I just acted like most men – with a lack of confidence, shortage of unique persona, low focal point of individuality, and high need to follow what they think is expected of them – then this would have led to larger pools of women than experienced.  Not that I am at all complaining, given the circumstances, but it is in context with what could have been.  I guess I will never know.

All I can say is that irrelevant to whether I was right or wrong, I can look myself in the mirror knowing I became the man, by and large, who I desired to become.  I guess, when all is said and done, this is the price of doing business.  You may not always win the deal, but the deals you won were acquired with integrity, and no need for a brown paper bag slipped under the table to your client, so to speak…

Sunday 2 October 2022

Are tall women more likeable and engaging?


                            “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times,                                                 good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”                                   (G. Michael Hopf)


Around the spring of this year, I exited the gym at the same time as a woman entering who, for want of a better way of explaining it, had bottled the nitty gritty of seeing me on an intimate level.  This was after glances across at me on occasions I lost count of, and an exchange of numbers when I first interacted with her. 

Q-tip 1:

Most women can be defined as having more eyes than action.  Better put, they rarely back up the words they verbalize in practice.

In fairness, the woman referenced actually said “hiya” in a nice way.  At least, on that occasion anyway.  Most women in these scenarios usually look the other way or nervously try to pretend they never saw the man who has moved her emotionally in the past (and most likely still, the present).  However, in true predictability her hot (eye contact and friendly facial expression) and cold (hostile mannerisms and no eye contact when walking directly past) habits dealt their magical normal course of events in the weeks that followed.  And in truth, these same habits have rinse and repeated in the months from then until now.

Her tall friend

Nevertheless, on that friendlier exchange as explained in the first paragraph, I saw her walk in with a tall, blonde haired female friend who I had not seen her with before.  I did not get a long look at her face, such was my main attention onto the other woman, however I do subconsciously remember thinking she was quite pretty in facial terms.

A couple of days later, and the two of them were training together one early morning.  This allowed me to take a letch discrete glance at the tall blonde.  When I say tall in female respects, what I really mean is considerably taller than the average woman.  If the average woman in the UK is 5ft 4” (or slightly shorter?), then I would say 5ft 8” is tall for a woman.  The fact that this blonde stood easily at 5ft 10”, you will not come across many taller women in your day-to-day life.

For general analysis – taking everything (including her height) into account, I’d give her a 7.75/10 overall physical attractiveness rating.  At a push, and a little more toning of her already admirable legs, I could go as far as 8/10.  She is pretty facially, and her body is in good shape and tone.  A little more improvement is there for the taking if she trained a little more from a muscle-mind mentality instead of chatting between sets or looking at her phone, but overall she is an attractive woman.

Her interaction with me…

I was curious how she may receive my existence bearing in mind the minor history I had with her friend.  I would expect that her friend painted a picture of me as a player, and someone who is a little up his own arse.  With this in mind, I was intrigued to the tall blonde’s upcoming body language and friendliness, or lack of.

After a week or so, I started to pick up on her looking over at me, but immediately, as expected, looking away as I caught her eyes on me.  It was not an acrimonious look over at me though, and it was more in awkwardness and nervousness.

As the weeks went by and the weather became warmer and the mornings lighter, there was one instance where I was on the bicep seat curls concurrent to the two of them training on the glutes machine a few yards away.  As I went to take a sip of water out my bottle, her eyes on me were there for all to see.  Again, she quickly looked away as I caught her, but it was in a polite manner.  She has looked over many times since.

I have not interacted with her yet.  Part of me is still wondering how her friend has muddied the waters, and another hesitation has been that I suspected an older man (who I do not particularly like) the two of them talk to is her father.  I have only just the other day cast doubts over the latter possibility being the case, therefore I am now that bit more interested.

Another elevation of my recent interest has been that she comes across as very likeable and of solid girlfriend material.  I get the feeling she is significantly more intelligent than the average woman, and she attains an engaging personality.  You never fully know a woman until you get to know her personally (and even then, it does not take them long to change), but I am a fairly decent judge of a woman’s character with no interaction required.  Life experience offers law of averages, one could say.

Are taller women more likeable and personable?

All else being equal, I have thought for a long time that tall women – especially women >5ft 9” – are usually nicer people and more positively engaging with men, and with people generally, than their smaller female counterparts who possess equal (or sometimes lesser) facial aesthetics and body impressiveness.  If I am right with this assessment, why would this be the case?

In my opinion, and hence the only reason worth examining in this post, it is because most men find tall women intimidating.  Whilst men generally are not even close to holding an inferiority complex to women in physical attractiveness terms than the inverse scenario, I do believe that most men feel inadequate when alongside a taller girlfriend. 

I can understand this consensus and apprehension on a man’s part.  Whilst I would not feel inadequate or inferior per se, I have to be honest and say that I would always feel far more comfortable when with a woman who is a good few inches shorter than me.  I also find shorter women more sexually attractive anyway – all else being equal – but with most men I still think the distaste in being shorter than said girlfriend is a bigger factor.

With this in mind, I would place a few pennies on these tall women being aware of men’s consciousness towards preferring shorter women.  This manifests to a defaulted female mind mechanism to be more engaging, more likeable, more personable, more interactive, and basically just a nicer person than her shorter female peers.  Simply put, if a woman has fewer options with men, she generally will try harder to please men.

Do tall women prefer men shorter than them?

I have experienced relationships with two tall women.  One was 5ft 10”, and the other was 5ft 11”.  The shorter of the two always wore heels on a night out, and dependant on the shoes on my feet, this would often result in me looking in a direct line of sight to her eyes.  The taller of the two nearly always wore flat soles, and this allowed me to always look two or three inches taller than her (although in reality I was barely an inch taller).  Ironically, or perhaps not, both these women were blondes!

It was clear to me that both these women knew it was harder to find a guy they liked in comparison to their shorter friends.  They both effectively said as much.  I know that the former girl went onto birthing a couple of kids with a man a couple who looked about 6ft 2”.  I am fairly sure they split up shortly after the birth of the second child.  The latter woman went onto marry a man who looked at least 6ft 3”, but from a picture alone it seems to me like she has placed a much higher priority on his wealth than his, at best, mediocre physical attractiveness.

Nevertheless, I also worked with a woman who was 6ft 4”.  I always remember that she said it would look weird if she dated a man of same height, therefore she would only feel at ease with a man around six feet, but no taller, in height.

My final thought on it

What do I think?  I advocate that a tall woman, by and large, ideally desires to be with a man who is only an inch or two taller than herself.  This predilection on her part only compounds as she gets older and is looking to settle down with a male candidate.

The main reason I arrive at this conclusion is because of her thoughts of her future kids.  If a tall woman of 5ft 9” to 5ft 11” conceived with a tall (say 6ft 2” or taller) man, there is a high probability that a son will grow to at least 6ft 4” and a daughter to maybe six feet or taller.  Whilst this is not a huge disadvantage to a man (in fact from sporting terms this can be a big advantage), significant above average height for a woman is mainly a drawback.  This may sound harsh, but people will know it is true.

The tall woman prior to choosing a man to conceive with will be fully aware of this probability and outcome, as much as it will most likely remain unspoken.  As most women in silent honesty crave for a daughter in the near same way that most men long for a son, women will base their mindset bias towards creating a girl to the world.  In essence then, this is why a lot of tall women prefer men who are only slightly taller.

A final thought – shorter women’s preference

To reverse this dynamic somewhat, it is worth a recap on how short, average and above average (but no taller than 5ft 8”) women view things differently to the tall women as illustrated.  It is a difference of emotional mindset so opposite that they almost become a different species in entirety.

During our peak going out days – age 18 to 22 – we had a guy in our friendship group who was 5ft 1” on a good posture day.  Whenever we rarely saw a girl in a bar or club who was of similar height to him, we tried to prize her towards his direction.  It rarely ended with success.

Although not all these short women said as much, a couple of them did directly come out and say that they liked tall men.  From that day on, the penny dropped that we were wasting our time trying to link him up with any pretty short girl.  If my memory serves me correctly, the short girls he did hook up with were not the best!

It is consequently a polar opposite thought process that the short woman holds in contrast to the tall woman.  Whilst the tall woman does not want her potential daughter to be too tall, the short woman does not want her potential son to be too short. 

Q-tip 2:

The lower the woman slips below the female sought after (hence mainly hotness) benchmark level, the more likely she is to not back up the rule of thumb that tall women seek men slightly taller than them, and short women desire men considerably taller than them.  In other words, the more said woman – whether extremely tall or short – loses her desirability projected onto men, the more pronounced to see these women with men not in their ideal height zone.