“Process is an amazing way of changing sentiment.”
Whilst I did not see it in person, and had I done so it would have been a mixture of extreme humour combined with rolling my eyes up to my forehead, somebody recently told me that they saw a man in the gym set up a tripod filming set, to subsequently record his workout in full glory. In my opinion, acts of this kind are big mistakes.
The following day from being informed about this pitiful living motion, I saw a woman then film her boyfriend when he was performing bicep curls. I have seen this couple in there before. They come across as a “poor man’s” attempt to be a local ‘power’ or celebrity couple. He is fairly good looking, tattoos on both arms and much of legs, and clearly on the juice. She is also quite hot and in good shape, tattoos on both arms herself, everyday use of sunbeds as clear to see, and despite being well what looks like past her mid-thirties, quite an attractive face. I would say she is at least three years his senior.
Q-tip: A woman being seen with a boyfriend who is both younger than her and as physically attractive as her is a very rare sight. Nevertheless, it is more common for women to seek out younger men when in the decade between early thirties to late thirties than in any other similar time span in her life. It is also more prominent for abiding and regular gym women like the woman described (over fake tan, boob implants, very much into her self-exposure etc) to date aesthetically impressive men who are on steroids.
To reiterate, this viewing is rare, but then women like her are scarce in the whole scheme of a female environmental population. With this in mind, you will have most likely seen a few dedicated female gym trainers – most who have never had kids, and are obsessed with keeping in top shape - alongside buff men.
A past mistake
I recall a long time ago now when I was innocently walking from one side of the gym to the other. As it was early morning and perhaps my full conscious thought-process was wandering somewhat, a woman shouted over to me as I walked past her.
I did not understand a word she said, but she started walking towards me. As I looked at her, before I could catch my breath, she placed her phone in my hand. She then proceeded to ask me to film her. I felt like a right idiot filming her for thirty seconds doing a squat set, but there I was. One of the big boy trainers ridiculed me for doing so, and in fairness I deserved every bit of it.
In my defence, it all happened a little too quickly for me to react in the corrective manner, and it was during a time in my life when I was a lot more green and naïve. If the same scenario happened today, there would be an instant message from brain to body to not even take the phone. In addition to this, I would politely inform her that I am short of time, and that I do not take part in this kind of request. It goes against my principles.
Of course, whilst it does sincerely go against my principles, the bigger reason in refusing to film a woman in the gym (or any other place for that matter, perhaps with the exception of being with a girlfriend in a wonderful place in the world) is for self-interest on my part and not devaluing other people’s perception and view of me. Simply put, a man filming a woman, irrespective to it being his girlfriend or worse still a woman he is not banging, comes across as a man who is trying too hard to impress a woman. A man gets the best out a woman when she is endeavouring to impress him.
Men posing in the gym
With this considered however, a woman posing in the gym (or any other place), taking selfies of herself, or embarrassingly filming herself, will get away with this deliverable much more than a man will. This is simply because if a woman is hot, most men turn a blind eye to an exhibition act of these kinds due to the male mind primarily being attracted to women who are the most sexually attractive. He might have knowledge that a woman performing her life this way is a red alert for poor long-term material (although I tend to think most men do not even have this level of comprehension), but he will take oversight due to the rewards that are led to his penis.
On the other hand, a man showboating in the same method will, by and large, be frowned upon by other women. The lower the confidence of the woman (and do not forget that most women have low confidence), the greater she will be less appealed towards him. It is always important to note that only famous men can truly get away with elevated level posing and self-attention seeking in the eyes of female onlookers.
For further explanation, female distaste of male posing kind of aligns with female distaste of male physical allure. Both items prickle her ego. Whilst a woman may not be less sexually attracted to a man she sees posing (on the basis she was sexually attracted to him in the first place), these acts of posing will deter her thoughts of desiring him as a male partner. Ultimately, she will perceive him as a bit of a wally, and as a modern day western world woman is obsessed with how she believes the world thinks of her, she sure to hell does not want to be known as the girlfriend with a posing wally of a boyfriend.
Variables to the above
Like any study of women’s emotional thought-process onto a man, there is sub-vision analysis required which implicates on the severity and forgiveness of his delivery. I offer a selection:
· An ugly to below average looking man will hardly ever gain anything from posing in the eyes of a woman, but he will equally not lose any admiration either. This may sound like a contradiction to all the aforementioned explanation, but quite simply she had zero attraction onto him in the first place, therefore it could not move any further south. On a rare occasion, an ugly to below average man seen posing could make a woman think he has something to offer beyond his ugliness (maybe she thinks he could be a professional/potential athlete, fitness Youtuber, or personal trainer), and we all know a woman is far more attracted towards a man when she sniffs money and social status.
· Average looking men will follow a very similar path to ugly and below average men in the question of posing. There will be very little difference, other than an average looking man naturally will have more female suitors (even if most are not sought after women) than uglier men, all else being equal.
· Above average looking men need to tread carefully when posing. In normal circumstances, there is no better position in the linear scale of male physical attractiveness than being above average looking (7/10 to 7.75/10). An above average looking man has a woman’s emotional ego in a perfect position – she finds him attractive, but he does not put her nose out of joint by being too easy on the eye. Nevertheless, should he start to pose too often and too blatantly, this luxury of a woman’s ideal emotional temperament can be thrown down the toilet.
· Men at the high end of male physical attractiveness should avoid being seen posing at all costs. A woman already feels intimidated, inferior, and ego damaged in seeing men at the top end of male aesthetic beauty, therefore posing will only further alienate and distant her intentions in being with him that much further.
· In respect to all the above, if a man holds high social status and wealth, the negative consequences regarding his degree of posing will be mitigated to a large extent. A woman is easily put off by a man when he does something she does not like, and she is very unforgiving in any wrong move he makes (whether it be her male partner or just a man she knows/sees), however these displeasing sights or acts are put to one side when she has something to gain which is a greater incentive than the things that enforce irritation in her mind.
What is the solution / what do I do?
When all said and done, let me start with the simple part. In no way, shape or form should a man take pictures of himself, film himself, or, as shameful and shameless as it gets, set up filming equipment to do so. Let that be the foundation of this post, if nothing else.
With that said, gym mirrors are there for a reason. It would be a bit weird if you faced away from the mirror during a set performance, therefore use the mirror for, and only for, the time you perform that set.
Amalgamating the two therefore, I think I have perfected the happy medium of what to do in the gym.
1) During a set, I focus entirely on the mirror to assess my form and technique. This viewing of myself is far more with focus on a mind to muscle signal, as opposed to the necessity of how good I am looking.
2) Once the set is complete, if it is a standing exercise I look away from the mirror, and use the short rest period as an opportunity to stretch out and take a small sip of water. Occasionally I may even have a discrete letch at an impressive looking woman in there, before focusing once more on the next set.
3) If on a bench exercise, once the set is complete I stand up and stretch/sip again in facing away from the mirror.
4) If the mirror is in a more isolated part of the gym when performing a bench exercise, if possible post set I will stretch out in facing the brick/plasterboard/timber wall as opposed to looking in the mirror.
5) Once all sets are finished, I quickly move on to the next exercise and area in the gym.
What all this results in is not allowing any woman to think I am too into myself, concurrent to them knowing I am a serious and dedicated trainer.
Q-tip: Women will look for any reason to believe dating a good looking man is not a good decision. Do not make this decision easy for them.