“Is it better to do a bad thing to suit others over a good thing to suit yourself?”
In truth, in this day and age detecting a female liar shouldn’t be a hard task such is the fact that the majority (in my opinion this is a large majority) of women lie on a constant basis. It’s just an issue that is disregarded due to the modern day brainwashing that convinces the wider audience and public that women never lie, and consequently they only “fib” to benefit others such is their warm hearts. To elaborate, the hypnotized consensus is in fact men who are the lying, cheating and generally rotten gender out there.
The story background
A couple of weeks ago a woman connected with me on LinkedIn, with the connection request instigated by her. I, to my knowledge, had never met her or was aware of her name from previous endeavours. As much as profile pictures online can be misleading to a point – hence people show their best look possible – her profile picture was one of a very physically attractive woman.
The following day I accepted her connection request and subsequently took a quick look at her company details. She was the Director of this company, although judging by the website it was a very small company with limited numbers of employees I consequently sent her a message, in addition to my number for her to get in touch, stating there could be a link where both her company and I could benefit in future dealings. This was/is more than a possibility, however I’ll be the first to admit that her hot profile picture was an equal motivation in my resulting proactivity.
I suggested that we met for a coffee to discuss further once lockdown in England was relaxed. As I had viewed her educational and professional background in ascertaining she had attained a clear knowledge of the German language, I wrote a few sentences in this language as part of an ice breaker. She came back to me less than an hour later (with some German), stating words to the effect that whilst she would be keen to meet for a coffee in normal circumstances (most likely her first lie), could we settle for an online virtual meeting? I replied by saying that would be fine, expecting her to not take it any further.
A couple of days later she sent me a message in asking when I could squeeze a virtual meeting in. I replied in the way of the days that were not convenient, and she proposed the following Thursday (nearly two weeks from her original connection). A few days passed without contact, therefore once more I assumed she had disregarded the reality of this meeting, however three days prior to the meeting she sent across a meeting invite with a direct link. I replied in thanking her for the email/invite.
Research on her
Well within my rights and thorough and advisable in professional terms, I took a few minutes not long after her meeting invite to seek some information on this company. Naturally there is only so much you can acquire from company online source, however it appeared that there were two directors of this company – her and another man. Their registered company address was a small flat in a dodgy part of Derby. Putting two and two together and most likely equating fourish, the logical assumption is they are both business and romantic partners, living in a flat together.
I then further looked at her LinkedIn profile. It appeared she was well educated, and based on her University graduation year, she would be 24 in age. What did strike out, considering her very young age in an overall career perspective, was the array of jobs she had partaken in such a small timeframe. Most of the roles documented were her as an employee of other companies, with this being her first director or company owner position.
Along came the day of the meeting. I logged on about ten minutes prior to the scheduled start, and the screen message came up as “Waiting for the meeting host to arrive” (or to that effect). I waited until fifteen minutes after the start time, and then gave up and logged off. Essentially, she didn’t turn up.
It was no real skin off my nose, as it’s not like I’m up to much during lockdown measures. I remember thinking to myself that I’d give her a 51% chance of turning up – hence giving her the benefit of the doubt she would – but I wouldn’t fall off my seat if she did not. So when she flaked without notice, it was disappointment but not surprise.
The following day I sent her this message:
“Well that wasn't very professional of you yesterday was it?”
She replied a few hours later:
“I usually wait no more than 10 minutes for a virtual meeting for the attendee to show up. if they don’t show up or contact me to say they’re late I don’t tend to sit around and wait or spend time to chase them up. I think that’s reasonably fair.”
The following morning, I replied:
“Well all I can say (on my late Father's life) is that I logged onto your meeting invite at least five minutes prior to 2pm, and it showed the message of waiting for the host to arrive (to that effect). I waited until 2.15pm. So if you are telling the truth and it was a technical issue, I sincerely apologize.”
The fact she never came back to this message tells its own story. If she had nothing to hide, she would have:
1) Accepted my apology and said it’s one of those things.
2) Been more hostile in her approach, confirming she did attend, and does not appreciate being implied as a liar.
When a man has the cojones to call out a woman on her lies and bullshit, a woman will usually hide for the trenches. Less common, but far from uncommon, is for a woman to become irrational and delusional, and get on the attack in blaming the man for calling her a liar (whether she is lying or not, which by clear majority she is). The reason most women have no idea in how to handle being called out on their lies, is simply because we live in a world of weak men who aren’t ballsy enough to stand up to female misdemeanours, such is the fear that they (the men) cannot do any better and his woman will leave him if he doesn’t act in an accordance that makes her look and feel a human being with full integrity and morals.
The non-professional dynamic between her and me
If I was a betting man, and I’m not, and at the risk of sounding arrogant, my guess is she did a bit of looking up on my background. In fact, I know she looked on my LinkedIn profile due to the viewed confirmation one receives. If she looked at my Facebook profile pictures, and I’d hedge without proof that she did, she would have seen me in more aesthetic form.
Judging by the pictures I saw of her partner, it wouldn’t take more than two eyes to tell you I’m considerably more pleasing on the eye than him. Add on the natural boredom factor any man or woman incurs when they are romantically involved with a member of the opposite sex for a prolonged period of time, and add on a bit of obvious plausibly denied flirty online chat I made, and my existence made her feel uncomfortable.
So in essence, her professional mind swayed towards what could be in it for her, but her personal mind manifested to feelings she wasn’t at ease with. Post meeting day, whilst I’m sure she respects a man for calling her out for lying and not turning up, a woman like her wouldn’t touch me with a barge pole now. A woman’s biggest fear is of a man who can see through her mask and lies, such is the rarity this occurs in her life due to the hoards of naïve, passive, unchallenging, accommodating, gullible, desperate, willing and weak men at her disposal.
A final thought
Women lying has become so part of their daily routine that it almost appears they have no remorse whatsoever in doing so. If they are all at it, why should they feel guilty one iota? Has this world become so competitive and a battle of survival that it is even promoted to lie in order to make ends meat and feel better about yourself?
Do women consciously lie, or is it simply a subconscious mechanism derived from their pride, ego, and non-accountable mentality of any wrongdoing? For once, I act a little more on the compassionate side in believing it falls somewhere between the two. Whilst I firmly believe some women do consciously lie on a regular basis without an ounce of contrition by living such a delusional life to think wrong is right, a larger share of women try to intricately work around the lies they tell. In other words, whilst these women are most likely aware at the back of their minds they aren’t telling the truth, they will dress up a main lie with elements of the truth that allow them to feel less of a liar and that bit more moral.
In effect, this subtle lying strategy isn’t much better than blatant female liars, although from my experience these kinds of women do tend to be “nicer” people than their conscious lying female counterparts. I find these strategic female liars, if you will, are often women who are in need to feed their egos and feel better about themselves – to compensate for their lack of natural confidence and self-belief – therefore they will fabricate stories, mixed with fibs, in order to not get washed away in a fountain of self-doubts that real life constantly throws at them.
A final, final thought
Going back to the woman in this anecdote, she had been in more jobs in her career than I had in a career that spans more than ten years longer. As someone who has been made redundant four times, I’m reserved and reluctant to criticize due to knowing how losing a job can often be bad luck and out of someone’s control, but with her my best guess is it goes far deeper than this misfortune possibility.
A few years ago, I dated a woman for about six months who appeared to have been in more jobs than years to her life (she was 27!). It’s no coincidence that she was never satisfied with anything I, or life, supplied for her. It was as if life owed her something more than she could objectively offer.
I don’t think a woman who is always expecting in life beyond what reality can bring her is often a woman who will have been in more jobs than the average person. Second to this is a woman who just cannot get on with people. They always move on in thinking something or someone will offer them more than the last one. Sometimes this will be the case. Often it won’t be.