Another song to ignore

“Your satisfaction, or their happiness?  You decide.”

As I pointed out at the close of this previous post, similar to novels, movies or pretty much any other modern day issue that involves female emotions, pop songs are also very part of this same group in making women feel better about their lives.  In essence, nearly all lyrics put together for the final song release will be to either ramp up a woman’s ego, or it allows a naïve listener to believe women are the victims in an all so love ordeal sob story.

I first heard this Megan Trainor song a few weeks ago on an Australian radio station during a long drive between cities.  I’m pretty good at most times in taking in lyrics early and comparing to what the outcome is in the real world, but the words written in this crop of shite almost gave me an excuse to pull up for a piss and puke up through either extreme cynicism or laughter.  Either way, it didn’t take me long to realize it is just another sad case of attempts to allow men, and women, that this is what produces a happy and lasting heterosexual relationship.

I’ll take a section at a time, and then give you the interpretation of what she is saying along with the actions men should really take:

****

“Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life.”

Woman’s ego:
I need a man who treats me like I’m the only woman there is on the planet as far as he is concerned.  He should worship the ground I walk on and make me feel truly special.

Man’s required action:

On the provision she acts accordingly when with me, she is valuable to me, but ultimately she is one component in my independent life that has many other things going on.  She has to accept me this way, and in truth, she will be happier for it.  I value and respect her, but I’m certainly not privileged to be with her.  When all is said and done, she can be replaced.

****

“Take me on a date
I deserve a break
And don't forget the flowers every anniversary
'Cause if you'll treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need.”

Woman’s ego:

He should take me on frequent dates, with him paying for them to show how much he knows he deserves to be with me.  Flowers, oh yes, and these should be delivered to my workplace so everyone can see how much I am loved.  The more he gives, the more he will get back from me in return and be appreciated.

Man’s required action:

On the basis she earns similar to me, or even if she doesn’t, there is no reason why she shouldn’t pay for half of what we do together.  That said, I’m not going to count up each outing, and if I end up paying 60% then I won’t lose any sleep over this.  If it spirals out of control on my side, and I see her still having the money to go out with friends and buy shoes or similar, this has to be levelled off.  Flowers?  Hardly ever, and not necessarily coinciding with any anniversary.  If I treat her right all the time I will become unappreciated, unchallenging and less loved.  She will find me less sexually attractive if I make it too easy for her.  So, days of jerkiness, moodiness and apathy should be incorporated into my natural character when with her.

****
“You got that 9 to 5
But, baby, so do I
So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies
I never learned to cook
But I can write a hook
Sing along with me
Sing-sing along with me (hey).”

Woman’s ego:

Knowing how lucky he is to have me, it doesn’t matter if I can’t do the traditional female duties of cooking.  He can do that, as well as everything else that I need from him. 

Man’s required action:

Ok, so she can’t cook to start with.  No drama.  She can learn over time to the point where she contributes half of the cooking, and if she is just naturally useless at it, she can make up for it with other house duties that take up as much time.  If she complains about my cooking, then fine, she can make her own.  Just don’t expect me to hang around if this means she piles on the pounds due to take-away food.

****
“You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright.”

Woman’s ego:

Again, he loves me for who I am.  If he doesn’t tolerate me during my bad days, he sure don’t deserve me during my good days.

Man’s required action:

She’ll be treated like a lady on infrequent occasions and when she deserves it only.  When she’s acting crazy, she either gets out the way or shuts up until she is ready to stop being delusional.  I’m an honest guy, and I’m not going to tell her what she only wants to hear.  If that means everything isn’t going to be alright, then she will hear it.  But, providing she is acting in the correct manner, I’ll help her make it become alright.

****

“Dear future husband,
Here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special lovin'
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night.”

Woman’s ego:

If he is a real man, he will tell me how beautiful I am all the time.  This will make me happy, and a happy me makes a happy him.  Then he will get the best of me.

Man’s required action:

If I tell her she is beautiful all the time, this is a risk of complacency on her part.  A woman who doesn’t try to stay in shape, or thinks she doesn’t need to stay in shape, basically will not stay in shape as her motivation to do so fragments.  A woman who is too comfortable in a relationship is more likely to let herself go than a woman who is on her toes with a high calibre man who attains options in the sexual market.  This over comforting mentality benefits nobody, as I see a less glamorous figure at the end of the bed, and she acts resentful for not looking as admirable as her potential allows. 

****

“After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right
Even if I was wrong
You know I'm never wrong
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?”

Woman’s ego:

A gracious man is a man who apologizes, agrees, accepts and backs down.  This is just a by-product of knowing what he has and taking me for who I am.  He’ll reap the rewards from this lap-dog character in the way of my sexual favours. 

Man’s required action:

Yeah right!  No chance, if she is wrong, she will be told so.  I won’t cause arguments for arguments sake, but passiveness is the recipe for sexless men.  The best sex women give, and have, is when they are put in their place by men, not when they are made to feel like an angel who can do no wrong.  Too right I’ll be disagreeing – primarily for my advantage, but also to provide for her innate character make-up.

****

“Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life (hey, baby)
Dear future husband,
Make time for me
Don't leave me lonely
And know we'll never see your family more than mine.”

Woman’s ego:

He’ll always be there for me, at any time I need him.  My friends will know of this too, and it illustrates how special I am.  When I’m lonely, he will drop his plans to be with me every time.  I’m his world, and I love this.  By prioritizing my family ahead of his, well this is just another signature of his love towards me.

Man’s required action:

She is important to me, but I’ll still do my own things first.  Sure, if she is really ill and has nobody to look after her, then I may be there for her, but that will be an isolated occurrence.  I’ll see her when it benefits me, as I’m quite sure she wouldn’t see me if she had something better on.  Family time…no, we will see each other’s family in equal measures, if all else is equal on distance from our residences. 

****

“I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (hey)
Open doors for me and you might get some kisses
Don't have a dirty mind
Just be a classy guy
Buy me a ring
Buy-buy me a ring, babe.”

Woman’s ego:

A woman’s ideal man is a guy who is a gentleman, he lets his girlfriend have her own way, he doesn’t check out other women, he doesn’t make dirty or sexual innuendo comments, and he is pure and innocent.  That’s class!  He’ll buy me a ring after months of dating to show his affection and commitment.  Then I can show this off to the world.

Man’s required action:

Well I don’t mind her sleeping on the left side of the bed, as I prefer the right side anyway.  Opening doors?  Providing it doesn’t break my stride then fine, but I’m not standing on ceremony for this.  I say what’s in my head, and if that includes a sexual reference then so be it.  Women may say they like a butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth man, but then watch how they are attracted to men using care-free words.  There is a difference between a class guy who doesn’t need to use obscenities, but likewise isn’t afraid what people think of him.  Women find that the most attractive – sexually and in partner terms.  I’m not buying her an expensive bling ring until I’m serious in marrying her.  If she wants to buy herself a ring to wear on the commitment finger, then this is no skin off my nose.

I’m actually not that much against Megan Trainor.  In a world of inundated uninspiring pop music, the songs I’ve heard from her are relatively catchy.  Nevertheless, what does make me chuckle is the lyrics from her first release – “All About That Base”.  It was aimed to make the, let’s just say, more “rounded” girl feel good about herself and believe that many men like these female body dimensions.

The problem with this song, and I recall thinking this myself at the time, is that if you are going to shout out words of any kind, you need to back it up with consistency.  If this advocating language is compromised, you can come across as a hypocrite and inevitably lose credibility. 

And in my opinion, the inevitable happened with Trainor.  It was all good and well coming out with “big girls win” flag flying, but it didn’t take long for me to see her far more glamoured and glittered up during the 2015 Grammy Awards, and view photographs that clearly made her look much slimmer.  If this was natural weight loss, and I don’t think it was, it is still every bit as much a contradiction from what was first broadcasted.  

Q-tip:

Treat women’s words like chirping spring chicks nested in the tree next to your bedroom.  At first you think it is cute and endearing, but over time you realize that it is simply annoying, irritable and to be taken with a pinch of salt.  And as time passes by further, you totally choose to ignore them.

Acknowledgements

http://www.metrolyrics.com/dear-future-husband-lyrics-meghan-trainor.html