Friday, 22 May 2015

Flip the probation

“Always allow opponents to believe you hold the strongest hand dealt from a pack.”

After over a decade of serious, casual, promising and dead-end relationships with women, I sometimes take a step back and reflect on the good ones and not so memorable ones.  At the end of the day, this is all part of being efficient, smart and a step ahead in dealing with women’s emotional minds – by drawing trends from the successes and failures you experience, and relating it to their varying personality traits, social backgrounds, past boyfriend characters, and maturity levels.

It made me chuckle the other day when I received the contract of employment from my impending employer.  It stated a “3 month probation period” before employment will be confirmed.  In truth, it’s a load of bollocks really.  There’s nothing to stop them finding a way to get rid of me post probation any more than during this work exercise duration.  Nevertheless, I think what amused me the most about the word is that it allowed me to look back at how past and present girlfriends have tried to manipulate relationships when with me.

Now it is only fair to balance things out, and a decent amount of ladies have lived in admiration of my existence.  This isn’t my opinion as much as the words they have announced in terms of not being good enough for me.  Although these girls, in the main, tended to derive from the clingy, possessive and suffocating female radar, I would still take this side of the bargain over other types I will go onto explain.

An equal number, give or take, have found a reasonable middle ground.  There have been spells of self-promotion, family or female friend exploitation of their worth, or sporadic moments in fishing for compliments, but these egotistic mannerisms were corresponded with transparent and frequent notifications (even if not verbal in evidence) of their vulnerabilities and insecurities.  Probably the hottest woman I have dated belonged to this compartment, and this just adds fuel to the fire that the most physically glamorous women can have the biggest self-doubts.   

Then along came a small segment in the whole scheme of a relationship lifetime so far, although I have to confess this quantity has grown and picked up pace in more recent years.  Yes, there will always be those princess wannabes who try and put you on their so called probation.  A couple of these were hot (low end hotness of 8/10 and 8.25/10), and many more were merely cute (7.5/10 as a mode quick-fire recollection). 

The reason I think it is no coincidence that nearly all of the probation broads were cute or low end hot is because they were either no more, or in most cases they were less, pleasing to the eye than me in physical impressiveness gender relativity.  This may be a familiar reading to some guys out there, when they have been in a similar instance of dating a woman no hotter than your own looks grade.  That said, the lion’s share of male population should never need to box below their weight in this respect.

The explanations to probation hunters?
  • With the exception of the best looking men who can be forgiven to an extent, if you do find yourself in the confusing place of dating a woman half a grade to a grade less attractive than you, you will generally find that the last thing the female mind thinks to do is to put you on test time.  Such is the knowledge they are lucky to have you, they will exert all their efforts to keep you pleased and interested.
Caveat to above:
This dynamic can somewhat be different with many young men aged 16-18 (typically further education level, A-levels, upper High School or equivalent) when the male is better looking than the female.  You will find that many of these better looking boys will still try so hard with their lesser looking girlfriends (or girls that age generally), such is the horniness desperation that this age brings, combined with their lack of relationship experience/game/knowledge of female emotional psychology/study of girl to guy aesthetic value ratio.

  • If you are a man dating a woman who is a clearly more physically attractive than you, their knowledge of this factor, coupled with their comprehension that many other men (often higher calibre men than you) will hunt them, results in very little inclination to place you on probation.  They will either lap up the normal occurrence of this over-appreciating boyfriend’s provision and affection, or they will just simply move on when bored or dissatisfied.  This is typical of the average looking guy who scores a low end hot girl, or even a good looking man being with a >8.75/10 top end hot chick. 
  • When on a similar level to the woman you date, or when you are a good looking man dating a cute or low end hot woman, watch out for the perennial probation tester.  In view of her upgrading aspirations, deep down she knows there aren’t feasibly many options out there who supersede your overall quality.  Equally, she has a high enough self-opinion to not even contemplate being the woman who needs to please you all the time.  With this all taken into account, the tiny female irrational mind of hers attempts to lay down tests to reassure herself that she is so, so valuable to planet earth.

How do you counter-act?

There are simple lines you can use to squash the ego that is probation inclined like “I don’t do tests”, “you’re the one on probation”, or “look at the supply and demand of us both”, but nothing comes close to actually doing nothing.  Yes, nothing.  If she tests you, purely ignore it and carry on as if she hasn’t said a word.  Just do what you do, and live your life as the independent, selfish and care-free man that attracted her to you in the first place.  Do not become the man she says she wants you to be, because rest assured, you will be the man she respects less and resents or departs from.

Not for a moment could I look myself in the mirror and document that I have always got it right.  Far from it.  I’ve been the guy who made the mistakes in falling for her tests, believing I should be lucky to have her, and ultimately delivering the wrong answers to contrived questions. 

But I’ve equally, over recent years, established what made women like me, and what made women feel indifferent or resentful of my adhering nature.  On pretty much every single occasion, there was, and remains, a common denominator.  When I signed up to their worthless probation, they were the ones looking for excuses to end it all.  When I just downright refused to get involved in it all, and in turn flipped the tests onto them, they always came running back for more. 


  1. So no response to shit tests is the best response? Is that what u are saying?

    1. There's nothing wrong with using quick responses like the examples given, or maybe something else such as "Wow, I didn't know I was dating the Duchess of Cambridge", or something even more sarcastic like "I just don't know how lucky I am to have you, I can do no better" (the latter must be followed by her seeing your smirk/attempt to not laugh, and scratching your brow with index finger).

      The critical point I make about doing nothing is applicable to attitude. No amount of smart or witty comeback words make up for your actions (or lack of them in this case in not bowing to her thoughts of self-importance). In fact, within reason, there is even an argument to slightly bite the beta bait but in fact act in the opposite fashion. In this way, you give her both the nice guy and jerkboy character in one - that women ultimately, even if silently, strive to find.

      However, this hot/cold method is risky, especially in very early stages and/or with hot girls, because they may let go due to their distaste of your apparent betaness before you even have chance to show the apathy towards her existence. Personally, I'd go as advised (small comeback), especially if you are dating/seeking someone the usual 10%-15% better looking than you.

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