Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Men’s high status cannot disguise low self-esteem

“You can fool a million fools, but there is always one you won’t fool.”


A reader asks for an opinion on the following based on this past post:

''If he shows jealous or supplicated traits, especially if this involves derogatory comments towards her closest ones, she will only see this in a negative light''
This reminds me of the song Jealous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yw04QD1LaB0

What are your thoughts on Nick Jonas? He has fame, money, his girlfriend (the girl in the above video) is former Miss Universe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e646VOmNn_4&t=6m57s
Heres another of him performing, notice she turned her head, what do you think were her thoughts at that moment?
Can he get away with supplication and jealousy because of his value?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bHhn4vJZls&t=30s
Here is an interview, notice he doesn't make much eye contact with the girls and he looks down a lot, you might think he would be relaxed in the presence of women who are less attractive than his, he even says he is not a good dancer, my guess hes not good in bed either. I think he has a lot inhibition and insecurity.
 
I think Nick Jonas is a special case because on paper he has everything a guy could possibly want, but at the same time its almost like deep down he thinks he dont deserve her.


My response:

I vaguely remember the Jonas 3-piece brother group from a few years ago, but that's about all.  I can only go by what my gut instincts and experience of human behaviour tell me from the links you posted.

My peripheral vision tells me Jonas looks nervous and perhaps a touch intimidated and overwhelmed when higher profile stars are in the same environment.  This is only a problem in attracting women of similar level status (hence female singers, actresses, etc).  They will pick up on his lack of confidence and be repelled from him and, as a consequence of his apparent weakness, onto more edgy men.  But as for the other 99.999% of regular women, male high status can cloud his supplication and jealousy because it is the main draw in attracting the female hunger for vicinity/relationships. 

Note to above:
Beyond initial attraction, high status will not necessarily act as the main pulling point in locking down women, and it is by no means the greatest sexual arousal cue.

As for his girlfriend (former Miss Universe), I find this slightly surprising.  If she was just a very hot woman off the street who looked like her, then the maths would work out.  There are a 100 hot women like her in Hollywood for every famous guy like Nick Jonas, so naturally he would be a good catch from her perspective.  But her profile surely gives access to higher status men than him - who are not so timid - therefore I find this a little conspicuous.  Just a thought, but is it a case of links between their agents/management companies, forming a celebrity set-up relationship that will sell a few columns and raise profiles before the inevitable end?

The head turn she makes when he approaches her shows me the emblem of a woman who is far more in it for herself than the man she is “in love with”.  It is a common scene all so familiar and clear to see.  Her reaction is so unnatural.  How can one second a genuine acting woman turn her head, only to be followed by the fake “my heart is beating” gesture?  This move was contrived every bit as much the relationship.

As for the interview, well I'm not too concerned about the lack of eye contact he makes.  For one, they are positioned awkwardly either side of him, so moving his neck around with effort isn't worth the hassle.  Second, if he was acting with cockiness, attitude and couldn't give a crap demeanour, a shortage of eye contact will actually endear him to many women.  Whilst more than decent looking, it’s not like he is blessed with film star looks, so he doesn’t need to act with more attainability and vulnerability traits in the celebrity circles at least. 

I’d like to see him give more flirty answers and sexual innuendos when asked certain questions by the, as you allude to, nothing more than above average looking women.  There was more than one opportunity to do this, and women love this kind of male character who doesn’t care what women think to his thoughts, when used selectively.  He could have teased them and given indirect answers that leave the two women, and more importantly the mass female population, guessing what is behind the mask of mystique. 

But his answers correlate with his awkward face and body language.  Jonas doesn’t appear to be comfortable in the limelight, and it seems to me he is emblematic of the guy at work who has taken a promotion with reluctant and obligated emotions.  I guess some former boy band members like Justin Timberlake are simply born to go it alone with effortless comfort, ease and expertise.  Others are perhaps more genetically made up from the safety in numbers mentality.      

To re-iterate, what would concern me more is his anxious look.  Sure, some girls may be saying it is so sweet to see him act in vulnerable ways, but these will only be the less attractive women or females leading with their egos.

And the female ego leads appropriately onto the last point.  Like movies and romantic novels, you will see a very high percentage of songs that are themed towards building up the mass viewer’s (hence women) self-centred thoughts.  A song that illustrates jealousy shows how much he must love her and how important she is to the world.  A simultaneous head swell and dry knickers for a woman is a recipe for disaster with regards to a sex seeking man.  Puke!

Coincidentally, along with male artists writing about how lucky he is to have her, how she is above his league, how he longs to be with her, and portraying her as the only girl in the world – all words that make a woman feel better about life but conceal what women truthfully desire – the next most popular theme is for female artists to write about men cheating on them and acting badly.  Lay down the sob story and handkerchief, quickly after the tears from “I knew nothing about his reputation” or “I hate men like this” justifications. 

Q-tip:
Women may not like the feeling of pragmatically being cheated on, but they sure love the thought of a man carrying out infidelity.  Because a man who can cheat, or even does cheat, is a man who has full proof of another woman’s love and desire.  So when women who take back cheating men complain about these guys, they only have themselves to blame.  Simply put, if less women forgave these adulterating men – men who are far lower in number than women attempt to proclaim – fewer men would cheat.

So here you have it - men writing mainly about idolizing women, and women writing about being broken-hearted by the wanted (in real life - rare wanted) men.  In reality, >80% of men are the beta males who put women first in any way, shape or form.  Women, who venture into these bonds and marry these unwanted but safe men, initiate 3 out of 4 relationship departures.  Often they will leave their giving and providing men for the kinds of jerks who were slagged off in female artist records.  Do you see the disconnect between what the mass population believe is politically correct, against what the actual outcome is?



Acknowledgements

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