Saturday 29 November 2014

Responding to girlfriend promotion

“You do what you are, you are what you do.”

Most men have a natural need that comes within to succeed.  Disclaiming those lacking in ambition who are happy to collect a benefit allowance and venture straight into the pub or bookmakers, the vast majority of men have differing levels of drive and motivation to fulfill their potential.

Defining success is far more difficult.  A large share of men would view success as the highest salary they can possibly achieve within realistic parameters.  The positive knock-on effect of this will be to own an expensive car and live in the biggest house within the most affluent area.  Other men would claim that money has little to do with success, and it is all about accomplishments.  They have a point, as I know plenty of people with over six figures in the bank yet no memories of worthwhile note to treasure. 

Accomplishments could be visiting the greatest places in the world, it could be an array of sexual accomplishments with beautiful women of varied cultures and nationalities, or it may possibly have been saving someone’s life, or even their own life. 

But I would expect that the majority of men simply hold desires to find an honest woman, raise children to be proud of, and be the most genuine man that people like.  There is no right or wrong way, and this is the magic of life.  But one thing I do know is rarely can a person tick all of the boxes.  There usually comes a choice, or at least a decision, that has to be made.

Women view life differently to men.  As rarely the main breadwinners in heterosexual relationships, women are less proactive in laying out and achieving set goals.  There is nothing wrong with this.  Natural followers they may be, but this certainly doesn’t mean they don’t know what they want and how to get there.  It could be argued that women are far more tuned to an end product, when the time fits, than men.  As the reproductive gender, it can also be unofficially claimed women are more valuable to society than men.  This subconscious but conceivable innate belief may go a long way for men scratching their heads when a discussion turns to an argument.  If he cannot track down a woman who has empathetic and compromising traits, he should take comfort in the fact that he won’t be alone. 

So the two tides sail in different directions to form a manifestation of female behaviour.  In the black corner stand men trying to promote their life, and in the red corner are women who hold predilections to wait, and react when things come to them. 

To counteract this perhaps perceived inferiority, women need to structure their own weapon to balance things out.  This, more often than not, results in the process to promote their value to the world.  Self-doubts combined with constant need for external social validation and approval is not a nice recipe, and the only true way to combat this vulnerability is to strike back with self-promotion and economical stories of the truth.  On top of this, the natural drama queen within them only further reinforces this tidal wave.  Somehow, they have to show people that more is happening in their life than the objectivity would suggest.  Men, being men, can be the victims of their own accustomed but uncontrollable naivety and jealousy.

So to feed a woman’s value, this can be fulfilled by her own opinions, her family’s words or her friend’s supplication and sycophancy.  Sometimes it can be a trade, almost what you will see on Facebook walls.  You write on my wall, and I’ll write on yours.  Win-win scenario for everyone.  Most men do not respond well to this because most men are not gifted with the blessings that offer them choices with other females out there.  Male positive attitude and confidence is far more important than good looks, money or assets when appealing to projected female eyes, but unfortunately not many men in percentage terms succeed here too.  So instead of a man taking his girlfriend’s words with a pinch of salt, he crawls into his shell with doubts of his own and fears that he isn’t good enough for her.  This has a negative effect on her attraction towards him, because women respond positively to calm, apathetic and disinterested men.  A woman will try and get her man jealous to keep her ego and value in tack, but deep down she wants him to be indifferent with this.  A rise smirk to confirm he is listening, followed by a comment that puts the promotion in its true perspective, are the ingredients for her to like him more.

These kinds of posts will be labeled: Responding to girlfriend promotion, but it can be equally applicable to women you are trying to appeal to in the early stages.  Examples will be given in how to respond with maximum reward being the consequence.  As I always advocate, neither an extreme jerk or a full on nice guy wins over time. 

Girl’s mum or friend:   “You’re lucky to be with her you know.”
You:                             “I wouldn’t say I’m lucky to be with her, 
                                     but I am happy to be with her.”

Cynics will debate that even the word “happy” is too strong towards the gratification side, but I think ego degradation has to be in accordance.  This answer still shows a man’s attainability, but the purpose of confirming he isn’t fortunate has been achieved.  Remember, never allow a woman to believe you are grateful to be with her, because that is the moment she believes she could do better.  A slight tilt of the scales towards losing him is better than a tilt of knowing she has him in the palm of her hands.

Obviously responses like this need to be in check with reality.  So if a man is an unemployed guy with bad body odour who miraculously scores a hot babe, this response may be a touch on the unrealistic side.  A better response would be of total sarcasm:
“Nah, she’s lucky to be with me.”
If nothing else, at least this will have tarnished her ego.

Now there is an even better response to female self-promotion when you are a man with a great deal of value in the sexual market.  This may not apply to many men in real terms, but it can be used more often than the sparse numbers of men who have the guts to apply it.

The response I am about to illustrate needs to be used carefully and in context of the guy you are.  This is why I re-iterate that it is only for certain men with certain women.  The best example would be a good looking man with a hot girlfriend, but it could also be applicable to an above average looking man who has a cute bit on the go.

Girl’s mum or friend:   “You’re lucky to be with her you know.”
You:                             “Do you know much about economics? (expect pause or gone out face).  If so, you will know all about supply and demand.”

Leave it at that.  The obvious explanation is that there are far more women of her type than men of your calibre.  A thorough chapter and verse reasoning behind your words is not required, as very few men will have ever got a woman moist and hungry through too much psychological back chat.

Nevertheless, a very good looking man with many other desirables will need to tread carefully when using this tactic.  Although women want to be with a man who other women sexually desire, there is a balance to strike.  Once a woman gets a sniff of his value stretching to a point where innumerable female rivals and peers are into him, the positivity that jealousy brings can border over to a feeling of him being too much hassle.  Her ego is then damaged that little bit too much and she may reluctantly move on, leading with the vain convincing of her mind that he is the one who has lost out. 

This is why a woman’s ideal man is someone with huge quality (top 1%) in every department – except physical looks.  As long as she is the star of the show when people set eyes on the two of them, any doubts she may have towards the relationship due to his potential infidelity will be placed to one side.

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