“There are people
who can hold a meeting and turn applicable practice into useless theory.”
Like
most people, I have reported to some good, bad and indifferent managers over a
range of corporations. I actually bumped
into the boss I held with the highest regard last week. I hadn’t been in contact with him for over 4
years, and this was on the back of a somewhat difficult and frosty farewell at
the end of a redundancy process. When I
look back, I perhaps said some words that were uncalled for, but when considering
this period in my life was prior to fighting a life threatening illness,
holding onto a job meant far more to me then than it would do now.
Many
colleagues I have worked with, but not necessarily for, have been the perennial
work jerks. They walk around the offices
or relevant workplace with an air of arrogance, bully mentality, misery,
unapproachable demeanour and self-faultless view of what goes on. Astute men like me see through all this, just
like those clever enough can see through women’s fakeness or insecure
compensation ploys, as their often despicable mannerisms are a simple way to
try and conceal their obvious deficiencies.
Basically, because they have very little else going for them in life, these
men attempt egoism (relative to their work status), bullying, harassment and
power tactics to make up for their uninspiring physical attractiveness,
personality, life accomplishments and assets shortcomings. Is an over-sized waistline, saggy man tits
and a double chin all worth this effort?
Well
all this effort, from where I see things, is a by-product in pleasing their
respective female partners. The giveaway
signs are when you overhear them talk about the lengths they are inclined to
stretch to in order to maintain their overweight wife’s “happiness”. Some do have more alluring girlfriends, but
they get it just as wrong in terms of elaborate exertions to work all the hours
god sends to pay for the big mortgage or next pair of shoes she asks for. Then when you see them as a couple at work
galas, the men appear to be on tender hooks like an innocent puppy being
dragged round by their leader. In the
meantime, their good lady partners are glancing in the direction of edgier men
like me. Don’t you worry my fellow men,
very few of them are worth 10 minutes of my time in the unlocked conference
room.
So
here you have work jerks who act like lapdogs in their female partner’s
presence. I may have missed something
along the way, but surely it should be, without going too extreme to either
side, the other way round? Why should it
be the other way round – “nicer” in work but firmer in relationships? Well, in no uncertain terms, these men would
be better off on both counts if they switched sides.
In
work and social places, men feed positively off male counterparts who endear,
embrace, relate to and support each other.
This isn’t to say men at the top of the ladder should be too easy going
or passive, because this can border over to taking advantage of uncontrolled
situations. However, whether in work or
social environments, a man will almost always give back more when he is shown
respect and a level of understanding.
They drink more when more is poured in their glass. From my experience, guys working for
unlikeable jerks, who achieve nothing more than making their staff dread the
start of a new day, only hasten their endeavours to seek pastures new
employment. How can this predicament be
beneficial to a department and business?
On
the other hand, women interacting with their male boyfriends or husbands run a
relatively opposite process. Men who are
too giving, understanding, caring, considerate and agreeable are men who will,
over time, be taken for granted by their respective female partners. Women will deny this, but then look at the
actions in precedence to listening to the words. Further to this, think of all the past
girlfriends you have been nice with in comparison to those you treated with
more apathy. Assess those women you made
the centre of your universe against comparables who were simply a single
function of your diverse life. If
honest, I can guarantee that the vast majority of men would say the former
group of women kept expecting more but returned less, whilst the latter group
of women consistently came running back.
Why
is this the illogical case? Pure and
simple: women respond positively to being challenged, and they form negative
emotions towards men who lay it all on a plate.
Women shouldn’t blame me for saying this, and they instead should
concede confession to the overpowering but unexplainable innate function that
belongs to their genetic make-up. If
women do need a real person to pinpoint this blame onto, turn that finger in
the direction of your first sister Eve and her forbidden apple.
But
don’t expect women to help men along the way with this undeniable strike of
lightning that is known as real life in the emotional world. Women will still talk with their egos before
their ultimate happiness, and these will be words that epitomize their perfect
man being a nice guy who acts in this way day in and day out. Then, like a bolt out of the blue, a high
percentage of women jettison from the men they described how they wanted him to
be.
There
are remote high status men, or even lower tier managers, who do seem to strike
the balance. However, when you bear in
mind that a top end occupational high profile man belongs to a select 1% group
of the male population, and the most extreme physically attractive men – who
should, in theory, be men who are not infatuated by female beauty due to
options in the sexual market - are in a compartment of less than 1% of the male
society, you can imagine that men who are both appealing in a combined status
and sexual measurements are extremely rare.
Even the sparse men who could tick both boxes will usually have little
comprehension of female emotional psychology, female physical evolution, female
compliance tests to strive for demands, or female anxiety of their impending
peak appeal drawing to a slide. If men
were aware of all this, it would manifest to bring about a rare male creature
who values his female partner, but who likewise isn’t afraid to lose her. His girlfriend or wife would consequently try
harder to please him. Deep down, this is precisely how she desires it to be.
Fundamentally,
and without putting too fine a point on it, men who women love the most are men
who are not afraid of women in general terms.
I can’t help but see so many men act in the totally wrong way with women
in respect to minding their words, apologizing if they believe even the
slightest wrong move has been made, constantly treading on eggshells, seeking
their approval, requiring reassurance that their partners are happy with all in
the world, or basically worrying too much about her leaving him. What a shameful planet we live in if a man
has to wake up every day with these concerns.
When all is said and done, what’s in it for him as part of this trade?
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