“Blind faith is a lousy way to live life.”
I have a good friend at work who really has been dealt the rough end of stick in life. His mother died of breast cancer when he was only 7 years of age, and once married, his late wife passed away suddenly through an undetected brain tumour. Ultimately, my mate is a widower facing the challenge of working a full-time occupation simultaneous to raising a 6 year old kid as a single parent. Whenever you’re having a bad day, there is always someone out there having a worse day than you.
He confides in me a lot. I think this is partly to do with our cancer link, but more so because he respects my unbiased and honest views of life. In turn, I will always hold the hand of friendship and assistance out to any good person I collide with.
One of his apparent concerns is how women would view a single father in terms of the baggage it could be perceived to hold. I have often told him that more women than not will actually see his accompanied young son as a sexual attractiveness mechanism rather than a deterrent. I always point at 3 reasons to why pre-selected men have an upper hand, if all else is equal:
- Women are more attracted to men who have full proof of another woman’s love. This is naturally on a like for like basis (hence, comparing men with similar sexual market metric levels), and the majority of females prefer attached men over single male counterparts. In the case of a man with a child, instant validation is illustrated that he has been selected by another woman.
- Women thrive on emotional challenge. Although this doesn’t apply to the friend I reference, winning a “love battle” with another woman – like the current or past girlfriend/wife – is something most women find as an uncontrollable mechanism. If she can take the man away from his current partner, or if she can show the world how he has chosen her over the past, she conquers all in her mind and believes she is a better asset. A sad state of affairs it is, but true all the same.
- Women respond positively to a man who cannot give them all of his time, and consequently someone who doesn’t make her the be all and end all in his life. It goes back to the challenge requirements women are born with to fight for a man’s love and emotion. On the other hand, men who do prioritize their respective partners make a woman, in the short term, feel better about her life, but the female mind later resents this man who made it too easy for her because he took away what her innate character was brought on this earth to do. When a man has a kid who is primarily the centre of his daily routine, he subconsciously makes the woman in his life play second fiddle. Whilst damaging to her ego, the woman then fights that bit harder to get what she wants.
Nevertheless, and with all the above in mind, I have been further honest with my work buddy with regards to whilst the status of fatherhood will attract a high percentage of women onto him, the longer period of the relationship will encounter more negative issues than positive outcomes. The following anecdote is just one example I could reference from many, but it is the most recent pattern seen in relevance to how women truthfully view a man’s parentage that belongs to a previous bond.
A couple of weeks ago I took my car in for a service. One of the service advisors was the colleague and friend of the woman who actually dealt with my vehicle, so there was passing information given to me from the last visit 6 months ago. She is encroaching her 30th birthday, with a wedding day planned for August. This woman is eye catching, and I’d give her an 8/10 physical attractiveness rating in her full glamoured look. As with almost any woman at this age, there were obvious signs to observant folk like me that she would have been that little bit more pleasing to the eye a few years ago. All the same, you wouldn’t see many more visually impressive 29 year old women in your everyday life.
When talking to the woman dealing with my car, we talked about paternity pay and leave offered by companies. The hot woman spoke across us to inform that “Rob” was given 2 weeks off work. Straight away, there was no mention of the child’s name. Rob was clearly her male partner, and I had a vision of him being much older than her, less physically attractive than her by a couple of grades, but wealthy and of high occupational status. I soon found out he was in fact the mechanic monitoring my car, as he ventured into the showroom to take the keys. I was pretty much right about the physical side (6/10 and overweight), but I got it wrong on his age (roughly the same age as her) and profession.
In between delivering and collection, there were a few hours to kill. Being an inquisitive chap of the present moments, I decided to research a little more about her via social media provision. The whole thing was hard to work out. There were a few pictures of the two of them together, but unsurprisingly the lion’s share of photographs consisted of her posing on her own or on a ladies night out. Almost absolute for women of high end physical beauty, she didn’t half feed off any compliment given to her hair, nails or any other part of the anatomy she could exploit.
However, what struck me the most was the absence of any photographs with her alongside the kid. There were only a couple of snaps with her husband to be and his son on her profile, but she was nowhere to be seen. The child certainly isn’t from her womb, as rest assured, if he was then she would have downloaded hundreds for display onto the world’s eyes.
I believe a man’s child from past sexual endeavours does act as a babe magnet tool in the short term with most women, but beyond a certain point and it becomes counter-productive. Although a woman will still love the man acting the way any father should do – placing his kid first and with her as a passenger to their life – she will never love the child in the same way that the vast majority of men would do so in the gender inverse situation. That is, from my experiences, a man who ends up with a woman owning children from historic relationships will look upon them as if they are his own.
So why could a woman never love a man’s child from a previous relationship like a man could love a woman’s child from her past? In an easy explanation: a woman has a far bigger ego and automated self-thought process that projects onto her own importance and welfare. Men, by and large, have objectives for a family happiness where he is nothing more than a number in that household. If a modern day woman cannot portray her own life by the use of a prop, it simply isn’t much use to her.
So I have told my good friend that he has to bear in mind the flip side to the conceivable benefit of a young son. The child will, more often than not, act as a pulling force to enhance his overall sexual attraction and appeal, but time will take no prisoners once the novelty has worn off for the woman he is with. When a man does have a child with the new woman, I can guarantee you she will never look at his kid from another mother in anywhere near the same way as she looks at her own production.
Although I may have appeared to applaud men - who do take on women with children – in the way they love them like they are his own, I wouldn’t be doing this blog any justice if I opened the avenue to any misconstrued guidance. I am in fact an advocator that only men who believe they cannot do any better venture into long term relationships with women who are ready-made mothers. The only exception I will make is if a man significantly boxes above his weight in physical attractiveness terms - in which case the likelihood is he couldn’t have secured her if she was younger and with no child baggage. So unless a man strikes above the 15% zone (finding a woman more than 15% above his own physical attractiveness rating), I can never quite understand why a man would think it was necessary to go down the route of a woman with little sprogs. This is because I doubt, if given the choice, many men would go for a woman with a kid/kids over a woman who had never birthed children, if all other measurements (mainly her looks, personality and sexual ability/eagerness) were the same. To me, it is like a man wearing a t-shirt that spells out “I just thought she was the best I could do.” Once more, it is simple consideration of a man acknowledging his own potential in the sexual market, concurrent to thorough perspective of what women can truly expect, and demand, in the world of reality.