Sunday 6 April 2014

A few tips for men of blessed good looks

“Buy the rumour.  Sell the news.”

Probably the strongest motivation for me to produce a manuscript and start a blog was to offer a little support, guidance and experience to good looking men who are encountering a few problems I once faced prior to learning about the sexual market in real terms.  If these men are jerks or of arrogant nature, they can also read on as far as I’m concerned, but it is the good guys with good hearts to who I primarily hold my hands of wisdom out to.  And it’s an education I feel obliged to pass onto my fellow men.

I believe books, internet blogs and literature in this field – that supply men with views on how women truly work in emotional, interactive and relationship manners (aka Red Pill) – have somewhat taken an oversight to the needs of men who belong to the top 1% of male blessed physical looks.  I can fully understand why this is the case.  I’ll give some reasons: 

  • First, the online and hard copy information is valid to men mainly aspiring to box above their weight in securing a more physically attractive woman.  When a company looks to sell a product for optimized profit, they will naturally stretch out to the mass market.  The vast majority of men – average looking by definition – fall into this category, and the “men dating up” phenomena is backed up when you walk down shopping malls in various cities of the world and see the frequent viewing of a woman with a lesser looking man dynamic. 
  • Second, there is, rightly or wrongly, a perception that the best looking men can simply stand back and expect hoards of hot babes to line up and flirt with them.  Unless this particular man has high social status or external understanding of his wealth, this is a misconception, and evidence is shown in the real world when you see so many good looking men absent of a pretty woman alongside them, or scenarios in busy bars where women turn down the advances of eye catching men – usually after she has attained her good feeling ego boost for 5 minutes.
  • Third, and conceivably most relevant, is the fact that game concepts in the face of interacting with women are not as important in female decision-making as female emotional psychology is per se.  Sure, all the strategies that can be referred to on many blogs out there, if utilized efficiently, do undoubtedly enhance positive projected female attraction onto a man, but it isn’t as strong a draw as how she feels in herself in consideration to being with him.  So in an easy exampled explanation: an average looking man approaching a very cute or hot woman, with various opening lines and conversational methods to lead with, isn’t going to be as a decisive factor in comparison to the way her ego inflates due to him making her feel better about life in respect to his comparative ugliness.  For authors of game blogs to admit this reality, it would be like selling a product they don’t believe in.

If there is only one thing I have noticed over the last year or so then it is clearly how women have shown less concealing sexual interest expressions in my presence.  This could have much to do with knowledge of owning a sports car, or it could be my “couldn’t give a crap” attitude post cancer remission.  In any case, it’s there for all to see.  Don’t get me wrong, there are still a good number who act hostile in discomforting thoughts of seeing a man of greater aesthetic value in relative terms, but a growing percentage appear to be that little bit friendlier.  This can even include women walking next to their current husband/boyfriend, or good ladies taking their young children for a stroll.  I’m starting to think there could be a slight change of the guard for good looking men with other things to offer, but I don’t expect it to grow in significant numbers any time soon. 

So if it is common knowledge that women prefer to be in relationships with men who are less physically attractive then they are, yet it is equally comprehended that the female mindset strives to locate a higher status and wealthy man, where do the good looking men fall into all this?

I always think that a man’s close male friends can offer words that enlighten the real truth behind how women view a very good looking man.  This is because these guys will speak impulsively with no bias or agendas.  Women will tell you fibs in order to hide their weaknesses, and the good looking man himself could range from being totally oblivious or guilty in only seeing it from inside of his own bubble.  A friend with nothing to gain or lose can give off the most validity in relevance to the true occurrences.

Two historic comments that stand out the most to me belong to a gym buddy at the end of a spin class, and one of my best mates during a summer holiday.  Respectively, these were the exact statements:
“You were born to attract women.”
“I think women see you as something good to look at, but not something to go for.”
Two random sentences can tell a man a whole lot about how the majority of women contemplate the existence of men sitting at the top end of male beauty.

The following comment came from a woman at work.  Usually I wouldn’t take too much notice of female words on this subject, but this was just too hard to ignore:
“Maybe nearly all women are attracted to you, they wouldn’t want to date you, but they sure don’t want any other woman to have you.”
It’s hard to disagree with, right?

Going back to game methodology, I’m a firm advocator that the top 1% of physically attractive men should, by and large, ignore all the witty one-liners given as advice to use.  You have to remember that most men will not strike women’s attentions, therefore they need to move her emotions towards him by coming out with something that stands out from the inundated boring and supplicated men.  A very good looking man has already captured her vision, and she will be watching him and visualizing or fantasizing what he could do with her.  If this very good looking man heads up with bizarre opening lines, she is just going to think he is trying too hard.  The whole attraction of a good looking man is, absent of being too unattainable, he oozes a relaxed demeanour that clearly shows there is no requirement to try excessively hard.  The woman, loathed to admit it as she will be, thrives on being the one who seeks a man’s approval.  This happens so little in a woman’s life, and although the instinctive ego she attains can sometimes act as an immediate attractive cue deterrent, the time lag will enforce her to be find him more appealing.  I’ve lost count of how many times a woman has given me the cold shoulder on first glance, only to be far more receptive at a later juncture. 

With this in mind, a very good looking man needs to approach a woman based on situational statements that are conditional to the common ground they share.  If you see a girl in bar, start with how that guy over there is trying too hard with another woman.  If this is all too much in the midst of alcohol killing the brain cells, ask her something about the better clubs to go to.  If it is in a gym (always trickier due IPods or women being conscious of not looking their best), take the ridicule out of men in tight shorts or the beef-cake grunting poseurs.  If you see a girl where no common ground is apparent (like on the street), ask her directions or where the nearest coffee shop is.  It all has to be effortless, uncontrived, spontaneous, and as if you couldn’t care if she likes you or not.  Whether it was planned or not is beside the point.

Caveat 1 to above:
Although a good looking man should refrain from getting dragged into pro game techniques that are positively effective for lesser looking men, he should still abide by all the anti-game methods which, over time, are nothing more than common sense.  That is, eradicating illustration of too much interest in a woman, giving that bit less than she gives you, and avoidance of spending inundated time, money and emotion on her.

Q-Tip to above:
The better looking the man, the more leeway he has to be nice and get away with it.  This is because most women will look for reassurance that a very good looking man won’t simply relinquish his sexual needs and get the hell out once done.  However, this isn’t to say a visually impressive man should be too nice.  The path to maximum success by means of least resistance should always be in the forefront of your mind.

But what any man must do, irrespective of his physical looks level, is to escalate early on.  I’m not necessarily recommending asking her out at the first speech (although this is still better than not asking at all), but after a few minutes of comfort stage a man must get what he wants.  As far as I’m concerned, getting what I want isn’t only substantiated by securing the target woman.  An accomplishment is just as much pertinent in the way of knowing one way or the other with a minimal amount of time spent to get there.  If she is otherwise engaged and declines my proposals, I’ll simply move on to the next one.  It will be her loss and the next woman’s gain.

So whilst interaction strategy is that bit different for very good looking men, I would actually document that it is a touch more straight forward.  As a guy who likes to keep life simple and has never been a fan of cheesy pick-up lines, I’ll go down on record to state that male blessed looks in fact provide a passport to being yourself more than a lesser looking man needs to do so in order to move a woman’s state of mind.  This luxury should not be taken for granted.

To wrap this up, I have picked up on the impression from some readers that it appears good looking men are always going to be shunned by women due to the female ego not taking kindly in being with someone on looks parity.  I will always stand by my claim that 80% to 90% of women do take preference in having male partners who are 10% to 15% less striking to the eye than them, but they will reluctantly move past this irritation – walking hand in hand with a better looking man – if he can bring other desirables to the table.  So don’t throw in the towel and just assume every woman will reject you due to their low confidence, low trust, high insecurity and high egoism issues.  Believe me, millions of men would do anything to see the same reflection in the mirror as you do.


  1. I can relate to this article in so many ways. Thanks again for the tips & sharing a view that I clearly believe is true in my world.

  2. Vi Nay thank you for this concise set of advice, I like how you have distilled your more specialized insights from your previous posts into a useful set of pointers. Right on.

  3. No problem guys. Keep the faith, and never forget the privilege.

  4. Can't the handsome man who finds this to be a handicap just simply shave his head to take a few nothces off of his looks? He would still be handsome enough but not too handsome as to disqualify himself

    1. In terms of numbers, fewer women would find him as physically attractive but a higher percentage would venture into relationships with him if he shaved his head. As you allude to, this is due to the attainability factor. However, in my opinion this is ill-advised on 3 counts:

      1) Unless he holds genuine desires to shave his head, any man who makes decisions based on female preferences is basically changing his predilections in life to suit women. Any form of attempting to validate will de-leverage his psychological value against the respective target women.
      2) Shaving your head will, in 99% of cases, make a man look older.
      3) Albeit very low in existence, confident women who are also blessed with high scale looks would hold greater projected attraction onto a man with a stylish haircut in comparison to the shaved look.

  5. Thanks. I love this blog and how it really seems to make sense of all the absurdities we guys face in the (dating) world around us. Keep up the good work!

    P.S: I'm a European guy in his mid 20s who has long suffered from self-esteem/validation issues with regards to the opposite sex. Complexes actually turned me into somewhat of a nerd, back in school. It is very recently that I started to acknowledge my value, based on physical attractiveness (Backpacking in Asia, strangers actually gathered to have photos taken with me, proposing that I should do some modeling, etc... open interaction with male attractiveness seems to be a cultural thing...)
    Well, I take it that you have a good eye for this. Could you please rate me 1-10 to make sure that I'm not completely deluded?

    1. Appreciate the blog compliment, and this was the main reason I do it – to steer good guys like you in the right direction.

      Without knowing your country of origin, I’m a little surprised you face the same magnitude of challenges that good looking guys encounter in the UK and U.S. From my experiences, European ladies seem to be a little more embracing to male good looks, and their egos aren’t as fragile. I’d be interested in your thoughts...

      As for your character, you are who you are. I run from an innate introverted character too, but perspective (mainly cancer, but other things too), along with study of body language, human dynamics/interaction/ and female psychology have enabled me to take life less seriously. When you attain a Zen state of mind, it is amazing how nothing truly fazes you.

      My main advice would be to focus on your strengths. If you’re shy, look at is as level-headed modesty. If you’re self-conscious, remember every nearly woman is more so. If you’re afraid of rejection, acknowledge it will often be because you intimidate them.

      As for your looks, I’d put you in the “pretty boy” category. Facially, I’d give you a 7.75/10. Your body looks decent, but as time goes on through your 20s you will be able to tone and bulk a little (which actually may deter your chances with a higher percentage of women, but that’s your choice...). Hard to tell on your height, but I’ll assume it is above average (>5ft 10 ½ inches). I’d throw an overall 7.5/10 physical attractiveness score at you (which goes in line with one of your previous comments - stating top 10% to 20% in male looks), but you have the added bonus of looking young. I expect you to be a man who develops his overall look into the late 20s and 30s. If so, this will bring about fresh challenges and obstacles, but that’s another story for another day...

    2. This is definitely the most underrated "red pill" dating blog/site that I've come across so far! It's a shame that you couldn't get it published...

      I'm German, though of mixed origin (1/2 German, 1/4 Tatar, 1/4 Russian). As for my perspective: met a bunch of British girls while travelling abroad, but I don't feel like I can make an objective statement (i.o.w.: I sure as hell hope that those were not representative ;) .... What I can definitely tell you is that most of the young Russian-German women here haven't yet internalised all the "defects" we're talking about. That's the main reason why none of my male relatives (1st gen immigrants like me) are even thinking about dating a German woman...
      Apart from that, I believe that the largest pool of these "unconventional" women can be found among Christians. My current gf is an example: sweet, confiding, yet confident and intelligent. No make-up, no face-book, no worries...
      I would now consider this my first truly meaningful relationship!
      Well, as for my character: Psycho-dynamically, I would describe myself as a covert/secret schizoid. Also, I'm alexithymic. It's just the result of years of guarding oneself from potentially "threatening" emotions. Though I should emphasize the "covert" part: I can be quite eloquent and charming once I switch on that "mode" (mostly in social settings). People who experience both of these sides (my apathetic self and my empathic fassade) are clueless as to what kind of person I really am. Guess it can appear to be mysterious...

      I spent most of my 20s fighting a battle. My personal demons - the ones most every middle aged man has to face once - showed up early ("quarter life crisis"). But hey, I slew those bastards. And for the first time since puberty: life does actually make sense again!
      I used to have false pseudo-goals that were based on fear and self deception. Now I feel like having a REAL perspective based upon human interaction and meaningful relationships!

      Your last paragraph: Yes, I'm just above 5 ft 10 1/2 in.
      Actually, I did my fair share of natural HIT training up until my late teens.

      Shortly before going ripped and then quitting altogether at age 19 (nevermind the hair ^^):

      It grew into an unhealthy obsession, that's when I quit. I'm still in a surprisingly good shape (visible abs, kept lots of size, esp, in shoulders and lats), considering that I'm doing nothing. But yeah, it would definitely be great again to kick off my metabolism, reduce some bloating and to feel better overall!
      A little more definition in the face may go a long way towards more of a handsome look and less of a "pretty boy" look :)?! This was def. doable back then - should serve as a good motivation!
      Yes, much of this is new to me, e.g. didn't start plucking eyebrows until 1yr ago, but I'm certainly up to the challenges. Always on the lookout on how to improve further, as a man and as a person!
      Wish the best to you and your blog!