Money and women: is it priority number one?

“For a man to secure lust, if not love, money is certainly not the root to all evil.  He simply needs to remember that nobody can spend it in heaven or hell.”

                 

In previous a post (“Are relationships built on a material world”) it has been explained how some women can seek emotional relationships that will satisfy their material acquisition requirements.  In another post (“The sugar daddy”), thorough analysis was made to how women may desire men with a substantial amount of money.  There can be harsh or fair views drawn from why women will venture down this path, and to balance out the argument further still, it is often a result of their current or past up-bringing in addition to how they prioritize their needs from a man.  For example, a less affluent woman with little money or career aspirations of her own will conceivably be more motivated to find a guy who is cash loaded than a woman who has her own successful career.  That said, success breeds success, therefore the latter would also be attracted to a wealthy man and his respective occupational or social status that often, although not always, go hand in hand with wealth.  As women are tuned to a hypergamy mentality for long term mates, the likely outcome is that these more independent and career driven women will be compelled towards higher status (therefore usually rich) men.  However, in these cases, it may not necessarily be the money per se that primarily attracts a woman to him – the money is the consequence of the status, power and dominance that attracted her to him.  A woman’s physical attractiveness, far over and above any other female sexual market value metric, is the determining factor to her capturing a wealthier man.

With all this said, most scenarios that involve a woman seeking out an extreme high salary man will consist of two people where the female is significantly more attractive in physical terms than the male.  The likelihood is the she would need to be of a 7/10 as a minimum in looks ratings, but an 8/10 to 9/10 (or above) is more prevalent.  The respective men within these dynamics would typically be below 6/10 in relative terms.  It can go without saying that this is how the sexual market often works, however I believe it is always worth reiteration, especially to younger guys who have false psychological belief that a man’s physically pleasing attributes are the main priority for women. 

A wealthy, average looking woman doesn’t have this luxury in the sexual market, as men prioritize female physical looks when choosing their partners from the opposite sex.  A good looking man doesn’t need money, at least not as much, to attract the same beautiful woman as an average looking competitor does.  Securing this woman for a longer term relationship is another matter entirely, but the main focus here is based on the attraction stage.  Nevertheless, a visually attractive man cannot just rely on his looks to secure equally, or greater, attractive females.  There are many other factors women analyze in a man, especially as they get older, and a small percentage of men do actually place as much emphasis on female personality, as looks.  This is also most prominent as a man grows through his years.  But if you were to find a hundred couples in the next week where the woman was considerably more attractive than the man, it’s a fair assumption that in around eighty of these cases you would find that he was a decent earner.  We’re not talking ‘sugar daddy’ wealth, just significantly above average earnings.

I had a discussion on this topic with a gym buddy of mine about a year ago.  He’s a guy in his forties who has set up his own business and made money through his own financial foundations and hard endeavour.  Mind you, he’s no beta male when it comes to his wife and money.  In fact, she has a successful career herself.  I won’t explain chapter and verse of our conversation, but whilst we were both in agreement to never venture into a relationship with a money seeking woman, he made a lasting comment to mind:

“Come on, can you blame a woman for trying to be like this?” 

For this statement to come from the mouth of an alpha orientated, decent-looking and successful man, it held weight in gold to me.  And of course it got thinking further on this ever apparent, growing predicament.

Look at it from an attractive woman’s perspective.  When she was younger she just dated those typical cute looking boys or challenging jerks.  Money didn’t even cross her mind back then.  However, as she goes through her twenties she comes across celebrity magazines, the illustrative rich and famous programmes, friends vying for a nicer pair of shoes than her, or the male partner of her best friend diving into his pocket to take them on a five star all inclusive vacation to Mauritius.  She wants a piece of this, and how the guy who gets her there looks in physical terms becomes a minor priority.  Many women, in particular those who are post twenty-three years of age, start a relationship with the mentality on how it makes them feel in comfort terms, and not how a man makes them feel emotionally.  Women prefer men who are higher calibre than themselves in as many characteristics as possible.  This is with the exception of physical appearance, as women do not take kindly to being alongside a man who is equal or greater than them in physical gender comparison.  With all this in mind, a higher earning man, with physical desirability that falls below hers, is a desirable proposition.

A large proportion of men involved in this relationship dynamic – hence men with money alongside beautiful women - are beta males at heart.  A man in this situation feels privileged to have found someone considerably more visually gifted than his grade, and he knows he must separate himself from a better looking male counterpart.  Personality will take him so far, but money is the bigger metric in his armoury.  At the end of the day, if it was personality she was after there is an abundance of beta males out there for her.  His monthly pay cheque is the trump card, and deep down he knows this.  He just never admits it to himself, and it is an unspoken and denied factor to explain to the curious outside world to how the two of them became lovers.

So a nice evening dress is followed by an expensive holiday.  An expensive holiday is followed by a mortgage in his name.  The accessories for the house are bought by him.  The fancy restaurants are on him.  Soon, a ring is on her finger.  But what happens next?

The part that kicks this man in the teeth is his sexual compulsions when being with the better looking female partner.  The likelihood is he has previously dated women on his equivalent average physical looks stakes.  He knows if he loses this stunner he’ll more than likely go back to the plainer kinds of women.  His brain is telling him to act more alpha, to be firmer, and to tell her enough is enough and that he can’t continue with this conveyer belt of materialistic gifts to feed her continuous pleasure.  However, his penis is telling him another thing, and he continues to bank roll the process.

The thing is, despite her fictitious brain telling her she wants all these glamorous things, all she truly needs is financial security.  Basically, she needs reassurance there is enough to know she is with a man who can take care of her.  Her passions crave for a jerk, but beyond a drunken night to kill the boredom of her romanticizing beta boyfriend at home, she is past the stage of dating this bad boy.  A clever man in this position can secure a beautiful woman through money, but keep her by giving her a challenge.  If she asks for something, he would be wise to actually tell her she is unable to have it this time.  He would benefit by not giving her a passage to get her own way all the time.  He informs her other women would be grateful to have a financially secure man, but that they wouldn’t take him for granted.  He doesn’t need to go anywhere near as far to please her as he pragmatically does.  But his sexual urge, and the lack of comprehension to her realistic demands, keep leading him to his wallet.  Ultimately, he is fearful that she will leave him the first time he declines her next request.

Another good friend of mine recently told me about the expensive Christmas gifts he had bought a girlfriend he had been dating for two months.  In realization of his errors, he conceded in saying to me:

“I did too much, too soon.  Now I’ve got nowhere to go from here.” 

They didn’t even make it to Valentine’s Day.

An important lesson to draw from all this is the psychological process a woman goes through within her mindset when belonging to a man who constantly buys her gifts, spends money on her, and gives her an easy life.  At first all is rosy in the garden, as her ego takes precedence in telling all her friends how a man of this kind is so generous towards her.  But over time this novelty wears off, and in fact it becomes more of a negative than a man acting as a selfish jerk. 

Basically, a man who is doing all these things is pretty much seeking a woman’s approval to be with her.  He sends out the message that he can do no better, and she is aware of this.  Once a woman believes, rightly or wrongly, that the man she is with can do no better, she in turn starts to think she can upgrade to higher male quality.  This may not necessarily be in terms of a richer guy, but one who challenges her more in life.  Money can only take a relationship so far, especially when it involves women with options in the sexual market.