"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
(Norman Vincent Peale)
It was Friday 23rd December 2016, and a rare occasion when my managing director said we could depart a few hours earlier than the usual grinding working day. In truth, it didn't bother me one way or the other, but I took advantage of the extra time to seek out the last minute Christmas presents for family members.
I went into a small town called Loughborough, simply because it is the closest shopping centre to my work location. Loughborough attains the typical British small town mentality from a native's perspective, but I have to say that due to the high population of university students (it is the number one UK college for sport education), there aren't half some nice sights during academic season days. It reminds me of Kent State in north-east Ohio, somewhere I visited back in October. Unfortunately due to the Christmas break, this particular day did not belong to the usual female eye candy on offering.
There is only one department store of note, and after a few minutes downstairs I went to the upper level and along the far end wall. In other words, my peripheral vision was only at the men's socks. No passers by could be seen. I then heard a voice from behind say to me, "Excuse me, do you know where the headphones are?" I looked behind me to see a woman who looked in her late 40s. With the greatest respect, she looked exactly like you would expect a woman in her late 40s to be. Before I even had chance to answer, she added, "Are they upstairs or downstairs." After a couple of seconds pause, I replied, "I can't be sure, but my guess is downstairs." I didn't have a clue where they were, but I had enough on the spot brain cells to live in hope that this was a hint for her to leave without delay. Her final words were, "Ok, I'll keep looking."
An easy self-doubting moment
A less smart man, and I would include myself from many years ago in this category, could have resigned himself into a puddle of self-doubt from this passing situation in his life. Once a less clued up man passes 30 years of age, it can be an easy assumed belief or external brain-washed attempt (by both the media and jealous tied down friends with no options) that younger women, and even a fair share of women his own age, no longer find him attractive. They will also try cunningly to sway men in the direction of older women, desperately promoting how these more "mature" women offer greater personality, stability, maturity and enjoyable company that younger women cannot supply. In a lot of cases, they are right, however these hidden agenda mindset people conveniently disregard what men, and especially men with options, desire ahead of all the aforementioned "qualities". As if it needs saying, but it can never be said enough - this is female youth and physical beauty.
For a few seconds via the event, even I scratched my head in assessing what the hell had just happened. Was it an illusion!? Then I only had to recollect a night out from the previous Saturday in my home city of Derby to know that inundated women aged from late teens up to early 50s were giving me bed eyes and pretty much validation that I'm, objectively and visually if nothing else, a decent catch. Don't get me wrong, and in the case of the younger group (in particular women aged 24 to early 30s, but some younger too), this doesn't mean that every one of them will take it further with me. Far from it. Female egos, insecurities, confidence and trust issues make sure of this. But, from a standpoint of visuals only, it proved what someone had told me many years ago.
The male sweet spot age
I always remember a gym buddy of mine, who had not long turned 30, telling me experiences from the last year of his life with women. He mentioned how, once he reaches his late 20s to early 30s, a man is at his physical peak in terms of attracting women on the isolated visuals. This isn't even going into how men should be elevating their earnings, status, assets, confidence and attitude in concurrent running time. What this manifests in real life motion is female eyes from all age corners projecting onto him. Younger women see a physical specimen that has fully blossomed from the perhaps once boyish (but too clean) appearance, and older women feel he is now physically and mentally mature enough to be alongside them. In the case of the latter, this is just deluded wishful thinking, with little appreciation to what the man himself wants.
So I would recommend to any man to take advantage of this stage in his life. Too many men take the normal path that is to settle down in their 20s with the first decent woman who will have him, only to later regret not taking a back seat. Once in his 30s, this exampled man never reaches his physical appearance peak such is the fact he got lazy, haggard and fat due to poor diet, a lack of exercise and sleep, and becoming too stressed with the provisioning husband and father role. If you ever see this man, absent of his wife, get crazy, drunk, and over-excitable at the Christmas party, you will know exactly why. He is trying to make up for the life predicament he finds himself in.
The female comparison
On the other hand, women peak far earlier in physical impressiveness terms. The largest share (I'd estimate 70%) of women look their best between 18 to 23. A smaller percentage (20%) of them peak between 24 to 28, with the majority being at the younger scale of this five year range. This leave a glass half full 10% who can look just as good at 29 or early 30s, but don't expect this to be too many you see in your life, and furthermore, don't be surprised to see a steeper ageing decline once the 30th birthday has been celebrated.
This will explain why nights out are top heavy in women aged 18 to 23, and women aged in excess of 35. The young bracket are maximizing their sexual worth, and the by-product attention received from all men - but mainly loser or mediocre man. The older bracket are mostly divorcees who left their boring husbands or, in fewer cases, whose higher calibre husbands left them for a younger female rival, and they live in vain hope that they can still attract the same men from their younger self of 10 or more years ago. Life just doesn't work this way.
This leaves the middle bracket of women aged 24 to early 30s who you don't see as frequently in bars or clubs, but who you are more prevalent to observe in the restaurants along the same street with their male partners or in mixed groups. You may also see these women in female group gatherings over Sunday morning breakfast tables. In simple terms, women from 24 up to the late 20s/early 30s have given up on the bar scene for two main reasons. First, they have become uncomfortable with younger, fresher and hotter women in their faces. Second, they have tracked down a beta male (or in rare occasions, an alpha male) who will commit to them while their physical pinnacle is still hanging by a thread.
In summary, I offer you a 4-stage pattern of where women fall into depending on age:
- Women aged 18 to 23 fall into two categories. There are those who are more interested in the receiving of eye contact and direct attention from men, and they are seen on nights out regularly. Finding a quality man (aka the biggest well known jerk or local high status man) is an objective, but it is a secondary motivation to the "Me, me, me" good time feeling. Many of these women place maximum emphasis on a man's physical attractiveness. However, there are also as many women in this age bracket who prefer, or at least are more comfortable in, DVD nights and cinema outings with their boyfriend. Usually, this boyfriend is just a run of the mill looking guy who is not desired by many other women, and a bit of a lapdog.
- Women aged 24 to late 20s/early 30s are in the settling down phase. They are just as intrinsically hungry for sexual optimization and male physical attractiveness as their younger self, and they also still take fondly to male attention and compliments, but as they are aware the days are ticking to find the best male proposition, it takes on a lower priority than a ring on her finger, a wedding day to plan and, if not totally repulsed by him, an impending motherhood role.
- Women aged 35 to 39 split into three categories. First, there are those still (less so) happily married or (more so) married with content feelings towards her husband. These women don't go out much. Second, there are the divorcees, separated, or cheating women. They are on the look out and trying to make up for lost time based on previous poor choices. Third, there are the never married women who may have lost front-minded hope of meeting "the one", but still live in dreamland that their day will arrive. It rarely does, without settling for far less than the movie she watched last night.
- Women aged 40 or older have most likely given up all hope of finding a quality man to commit to them - at all or again. They have probably, in some shape or form, lived in all three phases as highlighted above. To make life that little bit less damaging to the ego, some of them will sleep with low calibre younger men – in allowing her mind to vainly believe she is still attractive due to younger men sleeping with her. Some of these younger male losers may even commit to her. Nevertheless, more likely is the scenario where she tracks down a man 10 or more years older than her. She isn't into him physically, but the life he can give her - both economically and in companion terms - is better than spending weekends alone.
At the risk of blowing my own trumpet, I couldn't help but ponder what the woman in the department store actually thinks, or what she thought might happen, as she strolled up towards me. Over the last few years I've visited many cities in many countries, and noticed how I strike the attention of women belonging to all ethnicities, nationalities, cultures, skin colours and religions. When time has allowed, sexual encounters have developed with some of them. I get just as much back home in the UK, albeit often with that touch more hostility and jealousy. I'm an honest and objective guy who knows the best life is ascertained from a mind that lives in reality, so I'd be doing myself no justice or good service at all if these comments are born out of fallacy to make myself feel better about things. Ultimately, it is the truth.
This can only mean one of two things. Either I am a top end good looking man, or these women who look at me are also looking at most other men. The latter cannot be dismissed, but once more living in the real world, it is highly unlikely.
So in summary, does this woman have an all guns blazing thought process in shooting for the moon, perhaps in a way that is accustomed more to how men aspire (although this is still a tiny minority of men who do hit on much hotter women)? If so, I can only applaud her, especially if she takes the perspective route that focuses on the possibilities, no matter how remote, and not the outcome. This is the attitude I like and adhere to.
On the other hand, I don't know many women who can take rejection in its true context and not go running for the trenches in the aftermath of despair. After all, this is why 99% of women, no matter how desperate they are for love, do not approach men. The arrogant among them will tell you they don't approach men because they don't need to, and they have a point. Such is the vast numbers of low quality, horny and desperate men that, up until the female of approximately mid 30s, there will always be more desirable women than sought after men. But the honest among women will tell you exactly why they don't approach men they don't know on a personal level, or men who are on their physical attractiveness level or greater. Their egos and prides couldn't take the cold feeling of a potential rejection.