Saturday 19 November 2016

Why some men enjoy getting older

“Those who concede early, are those who have lost all hope.”

It can be a justified assumption, especially by women in their (mid to late) 30’s and 40’s, that a large proportion of men try to stay young beyond their years and hold onto their youth.  It’s no coincidence that women in this age bracket category are the most prone to criticize and ridicule, because in simple explanation they are worried about men – men who were once below them (or well below them) in overall appeal level to the opposite sex – now becoming more “marketable” than them in relative terms.  As this once mediocre appealing man tries to do certain things to attract women, in visiting the gym more than before, dressing more youthful, and maybe actually styling his hair for once, the unfortunate reality is that a high percentage of women past their mid 30’s are now lucky to turn the head of just one man per month.  And that one man is often a desperate loser. 

On this subject, I can recall a few months ago a bit of discussion between women in the office about them preferring men to just let the grey come out of their hair when father time strikes.  Playing the role of a totally innocent bystander who knew nothing about life or women, I chose to ask them therefore why men dye their hair.  The woman in her early 40’s said it is because it makes men feel better about themselves (really, I thought women base their decisions on fulfilling this emotion?). 

Her answer gave me a rise smile. The easy and truthful reason is because men essentially are innately born to hunt the most physically attractive women they can plausibly grasp, and the most physically attractive women will be pre 30, and even more so pre 25.  Although women don’t place great emphasis on a man’s physical looks in relation to his other offerings, they still are attracted to a man who looks after himself and who doesn’t look old enough to be their father.  With this in mind, it is a male sub-conscious, but usually conscious, decision to strive to attract younger women, and one of the contingencies many men use is to get rid of the grey hairs.   

You rarely hear women in their late teens to mid-20’s complaining about or ridiculing men looking younger.  For women who have the natural tendency to be with an older man, they actually would prefer him to look younger than what is shown on his birth certificate. 

Men who want to get older  

With all the above said, there is a minority of men who in fact, if you didn’t know them better, come across like they are enjoying getting older.  There is a fine line but clear distinction between a man having pride in getting older – hence acknowledging the experience, wisdom, maturity, status, financial stability, confidence, personality – that age brings, in relation to actually “enjoying” the extra candle on the cake as each year passes.

I for one have many friends who have been, and still are, promoting of being older.  I can even remember two of them during a male party vacation in Greece when we were 22, and instead of mixing with the thousands of young girls on offering, they would have a meal and then go straight to internet cafes.  Not a word said to one woman.  One of them stated he had a thing for women with beer bellies!  The other claimed it was because he felt like a veteran, having started this entire going out activity when he was 15.  The truth is that both had physically let themselves go, and they could no longer attract the hottest girls.  It’s not only women (although it is mainly women) who make up rationalizing theories to ease their prides, in making life that little less damaging on their ego.

But the more common reason men have for enjoying an increase in age, and this goes hand in hand with those who put on weight and start to physically age badly, is that they are trapped in committed relationships that involve children, marriage, or both.  There isn’t a fat man out there with a fat wife who wouldn’t want to nail a younger, slimmer and hotter woman, but the easy path to choose in making life seem that bit more reassuring is to say it is too late, too immature, too illogical, too immoral, or he is too old - to be that guy.  We can all play the moral high ground whilst reality runs its normal course of events in placing obstacles in front of our dreams and preferences, but morals quickly go out the window when the once unlikelihood is thrown our way as an option.

This is why there are only a tiny minority of people who are worth listening to on face value.  Too many people, men and women alike, have morals on the one hand simultaneous to pre-planned bullshit justifications on the other hand, just in case they had to break the code of practice and integrity.  Men proceed with this cowardly act more silently, whilst women broadcast their high and mighty principles - only to later look foolish when broken.  But when even court of laws can justify why women act out infidelity, despite their husband doing nothing wrong other than being the sucker who married without her truly loving him, who’s going to stand in their way?   


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