The 40-40-20 rule

“Never disclose information about yourself unless

the rewards outweigh the possible consequences.”

A day after International Women’s Day that was labeled “Inspiring Change”, maybe one or two men may take a leaf out of this female celebration and inspire some change of ways in their own romantic lives.  In true fashion of how only women can turn reality into fallacy, this theme name really does take the biscuit.  How can women use inspiring and change as their flavour of the year catchphrase when men continue to lay it on a plate for them?  A touch of honesty from women, in what truthfully makes them happy, would go a long way to solve this puzzle.  So for you ladies wanting inspiration and change, I’ll post this article to assist men in making your universe that touch more rewarding.  No thanks are required.  Just take it as my little contribution to your celebrated day.

 It would be prudent for any man with inclinations to enhance his understanding with women, but more importantly to improve his success with women (the two go hand in hand), to take note of the unofficial 40-40-20 rule that came into my head during one fine sunny spring morning.  It’s amazing how a few glances at women can bring you to think about the similarities and trends that spark off recollections of all the women you have been sexually, or otherwise, involved with.  

How is success with women defined you may ask?  Well simply put, in my view, it is to secure maximum reward from the relationship or interaction, with minimum exertion to achieve this.  It will always be relative to the quality of the woman a man is with, but the principles are the same no matter what.

First - the ground rules:

Men are not great at handling women they are fond of.  This might sound like a strange statement, but I use the word “fond” as I can only assume this is why men choose to lose their independence in replacement of what the company of a woman offers.  Would it be worth it otherwise?  As the majority of men are average guys in most metrics – looks, personality, charisma, status, wealth, intelligence, potential, etc (I could go on and on…), scoring a woman of reasonable quality can seem like a dream ticket.  Needless to say, if this same man finds the way to a hotter girl than his historic familiarity, this mentality changes to thoughts of an equivalent lottery win.  The down side to this mindset, along with his supplication and lack of challenge to her (as this is all good and well at first but over time she loses respect for a man who cannot do better), is that his natural jealous traits come out.  Anything she tells him that touches on subjects of other men sends his jealousy and suspicion to the stratosphere.  It’s a bizarre concept because the longer the relationship goes on, the fewer options the woman holds due to her physical slide.  The fewer options she blatantly obtains, the less jealous he becomes.  Sometimes the jealousy, although not healthy to his welfare or his girlfriend’s admiration of him, at least proves she is worth having.

On the other side of the coin, women are also jealous of men who attain an abundance of attention from other women, but these women can get away with this (if not to the extreme nature), as their male partner will not be as condemning of this action.  All he needs is for her to look good and not be a bitch too often.  In addition, jealousy sexually and psychologically turns a woman on more to a man.  She has a front seat confirmation of his attraction from other women.

The problem with natural male jealousy is that it’s an unfortunate consequence of the by-product maneuvers women need to perform in order to exploit their worth on the world.  Women rarely have as many outside interests as men, and they are not as zealous in trying out new challenges or projects.  This manifests as a need to focus more on their own bubble to compensate.  So a woman’s default tendency is to protect her ego and pride by the promotion of things on her life that are, perhaps, inflated from the truth a little.  It’s all part of her fear that people around her perceive the self-importance she projects is diminishing.  With this in mind, make believe stories, in conjunction with the real happenings, are the production.  Call it a film based on a true story, if you will.   Men, being men, fall for this cunning tactic.

In essence, this is how the 40-40-20 logic works in its full glory:

• 40% of what women say in their views on what they want in men, how they desire a man to be, the experiences with men from their past, the interest they receive from other men (and people in general), or anything that has direct impact on their ego, is based on fundamental truth within their honest veins.
•  40%, in view of the above, is their innate habits to be economical with the truth to subconsciously boost their ego and perceived validation from the watching world.  This is the drama side of their characters blossoming out.
•  20%, in view of the above, will be a more aggressive and extensive manipulation of the truth.  This percentage allows for their hamster times of irrationality and delusion.  It’s not so much a conscious lie as much as uncontrollable needs to convince the mind that the flame in their life is still burning.

A pertinent way to analyze these female explanations of personal convenience is to listen to a group of women go on about how the bigger a man’s penis, the better the sex.  Part of this is to score self-importance points, but the stronger link is their strategy to undermine a man’s value.  Women do want to be with men who are high quality, but they equally do not take kindly in feeling too inferior by comparison.  Some men, by nature of greater natural confidence and charisma, can make women feel this way, and a blow to his proudest parts is an easy way to wind most men up the wrong way.  Of course, men who know how to handle women see right through it.  It’s strange how a man can allegedly be lacking in manhood or prowess – as claimed by a woman – yet bizarrely she will go running back to him given half a chance.  And despite our good ladies saying “bigger is better”, I’d be interested to know how many of them would practically react if they did see a porn star foot-long python coming their way.  My hunch tells me it would be a face of fright rather than delight.   

The most memorable first-hand experience I can offer in relation to this subject is when I was dating a 19 year old.  She was, let’s just say, a few years younger than me (chronologically rather than visually).  It was clear early on how she felt discomfort to the sexual history imbalance, so she felt it necessary to compensate by informing me regularly of what she had done with past boyfriends, when she had done it, and who it was with.  So one night I called her bluff and showed her my full glory to use, along with attempted experimentation on her fine body.  She ran a mile.  Being the great guy that I am, I eased her insecurities over the coming weeks to ascertain greater comfort levels for her.  It was worth the wait. 

This is only one woman I reference, and I could anecdote on many more.  But if you pay attention to a wide portfolio of ladies, this pronounced consistency will be highlighted.  So this, whilst knowing women are not adverse to the odd fib in shining the light on their existence, should allow a man with typical jealous ways and insecurity to chill and tick his concerns into touch.

If men could find it in them to lead with this mental approach, once again, this will have huge advantages for both sexes.  A man will feel like a weight has been taken off his shoulders in not feeling the need to constantly be wondering if his girlfriend is contemplating better options.  So rarely does she have the options - especially with higher calibre men in relativity to him - that she allows him to believe.  Women benefit in absolute fashion as they see a man who is an immoveable object to her ploys to get him to react.  A man who doesn’t react sends out a silent message that he doesn’t really care what she does with other men.  A man who doesn’t respond in the envious way that most men process is proof of someone who knows he won’t put up with this crap because he has other things and other women as options in his life.  A woman who is firmly aware of a man who won’t put up with this is conscious she is with a valuable and quality man.  A woman with this knowledge acts more accordingly, pleasant and loyal.  It’s what she truly desires, but so few women do it because so few women are with men who prove to them they are worth dropping the ego, act and lies.

A balance of the 40-40-20 rule is required in accordance to the woman involved.  A genuine girl would lean towards 60-30-10.  Someone who has a big ego with simultaneous low confidence and high self-doubting characteristics will stray to a more 30-30-40.  But the 40-40-20 guide is a good foundation when you first meet them with nothing else to go on.  It’s all about early assessment until she can prove you wrong with actions, not words.