Tuesday 4 March 2014

Power: and how women see it

“Before you appreciate and admire your strengths, it is important to acknowledge your weaknesses.  Only then can you commence in a genuine and humble manner in order to reach the potential of those blessings given to you.”

Power is a powerful tool for a man to possess.  Needless to say, but not always understood, power has habit of reaping success in many aspects of life, far beyond the apparent limitations seen by the outside world watching on.  Power can often be proven, but more frequently it is attained through other people’s perceptions of you.  Power can be something you are simply born with, or a person can subsequently inherit it.  Power can be acquired, learnt or trained.  In some strange way it is not beyond impossibility for power to be bought or won, whether this being in the case of material objects or sheer fortune.   On the other hand, power can sometimes be gained by doing nothing at all - it will simply be how powerful someone views you.  Remember, in the attraction field, a woman’s perception of a man will be nine tenths of the law to her, irrespective of facts or evidence to prove otherwise.  With this is mind, it’s important to convince her, whether it is the truth or fiction, that you have an aura about you that will separate you from the lion’s share of other men out there.

When are people powerful?  Well, not many men can demonstrate power in every living situation.  In order to do this he would need to be the “crème de la crème” of high value, and even then, there are too many aspects of life that would eventually catch him out.  Think of a suave character at your work place.  He’s that typical guy who has the ability to convince others of anything, no matter what is thrown at him.  He also knows the business and industry inside out, and people are quick to ask his advice, or for him to be their mentor.  He works hard too, putting in the long shifts to impress the directors and for them to consequently reward him with the corporate fast track promotion.  He earns well and drives a company car of high status that stands out in the crowd.  He’s kind of the status man women try not to like, but wonder why they are slightly attracted to him.  He’s no great eye catcher in physical attractiveness stakes, but he has the necessary power in that environment to bring him in line with the better looking, and often younger, men.  Now place that same guy in his casual clothes on a night out, or in his gym kit at the health club.  Suddenly his power is negated.  Even women in there who know he has money and a nice car now only see him as someone who looks out of place, and they are a little reluctant to talk to him due to their need to hold their credibility.  So in the workplace they would go to great lengths to be within his vicinity, yet in the more social environments they are almost embarrassed to be on personal terms with him. 

Turn this scenario on its head.  The younger, good looking man, who looks the part in social places, has a status of power when seen by women in there.  They don’t know a thing about him, they have never heard him speak, but such is his popularity in there that the females are eye locked towards his athletic profile.  But this attractive guy doesn’t have much personality.  He was the perennial man who quit education early, as all his time was spent going out courting naïve girls who were as unintelligent as him.  Put him is a social situation with his new intellectual girlfriend, and now he feels intimidated by her educated beta male friends.  Likewise, put him in a pressure situation at work.  He buckles and is speechless.  His level of power has turned into next to nothing.

Over time, it starts to become clearer.  Power is never absolute.  We all act beta and alpha orientated in certain situations, often dictated by the predicament we are placed in.  Sometimes we follow, other times we lead.  One day we are conceited, the next day we are absorbed with trepidation.  We can learn and adapt to become more equipped in our susceptible times, drawing on our fortitude to drive us through a difficult patch in our life, but deep down we have to accept who we are and understand how we can even fool others into believing a positive picture.

Most men do not even know when they have power.  They just act confidently or introverted, depending on the scenario.  If results come, then great, if not, then it’s just one of those things.  If women are guilty of self-consciousness to how they look, then men are equally of being at fault in their obliviousness to how women perceive them.  I believe this separates women and men in a nutshell, as both genders come from two extremes, yet they both get it hopelessly wrong.  A woman believes everyone has eyes on her when she walks into a gym, bar, club or work (think of a girl who looks down at her cell phone when she walks into a place), yet only a minority of external gatherers are actually bothered about her.  They are too busy existing in their own self-complex world in wondering who is watching them.  Yet a man, because of his often over-confidence and false belief in his market value, never stops to think about how women are laughing in the background to his over arrogant manners, or his slouch and lack of presence when he walks in.

A man should always strive to reach the stage in his life where he firmly believes he has more power than the women he is interested in attracting. This should apply irrespective of the environment or the female in question.  By dressing different to the inundated number of beta males out there, along with some sense of uniqueness in his character, he will sense from women’s reactions that they see a guy with a high level of charisma.  A woman by a man’s side also gives him more power, as it shows the other females out there that another woman finds him attractive and compatible.  He has been validated as future relationship standard once in this position, and women love competition and pre-selection in this respect.  However, I have found that a big negative for men losing power in social situations is their lack of courage to directly interact and simply talk to women.  I have some friends like this.  Many of them, whilst being fantastic people, appear more afraid to talk to beautiful women than swimming with sharks.  One of my closest friends, when we are just out together, displays all the beta traits a man can possibly deliver - idolizing an attractive woman he sees, talking too much about irrelevant things if we do get talking to girls, and basically gives them too much value due to him being a perceived low challenge.  He’s a great guy, and I would always take a genuine person over someone comfortable with women.  However, it is worth being aware of this – even if a certain man is seen as displaying charisma, women can penalize him through the company he is associated with.  A lesson to learn is: a man who is dressed alone in ultimate confidence will shine above a pack of hidden shells.

To make a woman happy, a man must first and foremost ensure his own happiness is being fulfilled.  Caveats exist to a point: once he fathers children within the relationship, a man must consider their needs first, and in turn this will also reinforce a woman’s reassurance of him being a considerate provider.  However, in a relationship with no children involved, a male mentality that proves to a woman he has a life outside of the two of them that illustrates she is not the centre of his universe, and that shows clear evidence of a man who is only partly dependant on her to live a happy life, results in a female mentality that confirms she is with a mate consisting of independence, options, and a mind of his own.  If a woman scents a time when these factors no longer exist, she will become resentful in belonging to a man who is no longer desirable to the outside world, or her.

A balance of this often misconstrued inconsiderate attitude is always a necessity to find.  Nice guys live in the false belief that a woman is most satisfied if he is there at her every instant call.  This results in male lower value and female resentment.  An extreme bad boy proceeds with the exact opposite approach in only satisfying his own needs.  This produces female concern to form questions in his inclinations to be available during serious times when she may need to call upon him.  If a man can have his own interests, but equally show her he is there when she is most vulnerable, a woman lives in her own balanced world in conscience of not taking him for granted as a sidekick puppet, whilst having reassurance in belonging to a strong partner.

Power, when trying to attract a woman, is difficult to build up but easy to lose.  Once lost, it is extremely hard to even return to the same level, let alone increasing to the next stage.  Think of walking up a high gradient mountain, reaching the top, only to fall down.  It comes down to your value in her eyes.  Like value, power is similar in finding the blend.  If she believes you have too much power she will feel intimidated and believe you are unattainable.  Too little power and you are no challenge to her.  Always aim to have that little bit more power than the next guy, or more importantly, make her believe you possess it.  Objectivity, like visually knowing you are not as physically attractive as another person, is something men take too seriously in the sexual market.  Women view things far differently to men, and this fact alone should allow lesser visually striking men to capitalize on a honed ability to secure a more beautiful woman than they believe to be plausible.  A confident average looking man, with perceived or proven power, will almost always be more appealing to women than a better looking man with no swagger to be seen.  Wrongful projection of men’s own sexual attraction onto women clouds them from this simple, but often unspoken, reality.    


  1. Many thanks for your posts. Though you and I are far apart in Age & Looks, I'm finding ALOT of value in your work.

    Please continue

  2. Women view things far differently to men, and this fact alone should allow lesser visually striking men to capitalize on a honed ability to secure a more beautiful woman than they believe to be plausible. A confident average looking man, with perceived or proven power, will almost always be more appealing to women than a better looking man with no swagger to be seen. Wrongful projection of men’s own sexual attraction onto women clouds them from this simple, but often unspoken, reality. ,,wowwwwwwwwwwww......