Confident women dating up or low confidence men dating down?

“If you’re not going to take a crap, then get off the pot.”

This blog will make many references towards the claims that the vast majority (85%+) of women under the age of 40 are with men who are less physically attractive than they are.  This circumstance is usually by choice, although there is a little more than meets the eye to this blanket statement.  To put a little more meat on the bones, the explanation is that women’s egos draw them towards men who are less visually impressive than them, but this isn’t to say it makes them happier over time.  In addition, women also hold strong preferences in finding as high a status man as possible, and this is most likely to be a lesser looking man.  As most men, and women, are average looking, the simple supply and demand magic of life will result in most women looking better than the man they are with.  An average looking woman with facial cosmetic enhancement and a short skirt will be more striking to the eye than an average looking man in a t-shirt and jeans.  This is just the way an instinctive female ego likes it.

In an ideal world, a woman would have the male partner - as explained above - as a provider and companion to walk down the shopping streets with, but a more edgy guy with good looks tied to the bed posts.  In a way, men are not dissimilar.  A man would hold predilections for a personable and likeable girlfriend or wife to confide in at night and have good two-way conversations with, whilst the bitchy whore (who is also hot as hell) awaits him with bondage equipment as he opens the bedroom door.  The big difference is that a man would be proactive and happy to venture on with a better looking woman for relationship prospects, but a woman holds strong reservations and irritable feelings in being the less visually blessed member of the bond.  Exceptions exist, but the norms will always be as I point out.

When we see rare cases of a woman with a better looking man, rather than applaud the woman we tend to condemn the man in this dynamic.  This ridicule towards men who “date down” is perhaps with justification, as it goes against the trend of what is usually seen.  One question mark put to men who end up in this predicament is because men do not rely on physical looks as much as women do so in order to attract the opposite sex.  The other question mark is due to the fact that the female mind is tuned to seek a lesser looking man for relationship material.  With all this in mind, you stop and wonder why it happens.

Nevertheless, there are 3 main possibilities for a man to end up with a woman who is less physically attractive than him.  The first 2 men hold far greater justification in comparison to the final analysis:

Very good looking men 

In this situation, we are not talking about an above average looking man who just so happens to have recently pumped up his build with heavier weights and protein shakes.  This is all about the top 1% of men with blessed looks. 

Men in this compartment - with exclusive looks - live in the 1:5000 world, as I like to put it.  Only 1 in 500 women aged 15 to 54 are of equal physical attractiveness level as a very good looking man with toned body profile and above average height.  Only 10% of these hot women are capable of erasing nagging thoughts in being with a man on looks parity.  This means there is only 1 woman in every 5000 who is at least as hot as this man, coupled with placing the insecure thoughts to one side.  Further to this, although this 1 woman (out of 5000) does have male looks as a high priority, there is a strong likelihood she still attains a more leveraged preference for a man’s earnings and status.  So in actual fact, a 1:5000 ratio is analyzing it all from the optimistic side when it comes to very good looking men who do not possess high profile and wealth.

With this consideration, many men in this bracket would be inclined to play a higher percentage strategy in screening for cute women.  Although 80% of cute women still prefer to be with a lesser looking man, there are almost 10 times as many cute girls to hot ladies out there.  Figures will be explained more rigorously in a future post, but there are 18 times more cute women who are also not adversarial in dating very good looking men, against that 1 hot woman.

Short men

Although most women hold desires to be with a man less physically attractive, they sure don’t want to compromise this in height aspects.  Not many women are comfortable in being with a shorter man.  Naturally, a short man has a smaller pool of women to choose from, if all else is equal, than a taller man.  Whilst some short men can strike lucky and find cute women of similar height, this isn’t going to be easy.  Ultimately, a short man may have no choice but to give a little in female beauty for the exchange of her compromising in taking a male of small vertical measurements.

Men lacking confidence 

Most men lack astuteness, and nothing emphasizes this more than their low comprehension of how women view mate selection.  Men can be guilty in thinking women only look for the best looking or richest members of the male society, but if they opened their eyes they would see beyond this misconception.  First, not many men have extreme wealth.  Second, when was the last time you saw a woman under the age of 40 with a better looking man in relative terms?  Compare this to the inverse.

But men being men, guilty of non-existent peripheral vision beyond their dick’s next cumshot, they venture on nights out with primary visions of beautiful women followed by ultimate pursuing of attainable sources.  They may stare at hot women, but they more often than not talk to safer bets.  For every man doing this equates to a cute girl who would have been receptive to his advances.  Women, even on nights out (although far less than workplace or friend’s network scenarios), are willing on lesser looking men to approach them.  Remember, women look for reasons not to date better looking men, and they strive hard to find reasons to date lesser looking men.

But one bad experience with a hotter woman can destroy a man’s confidence, and from that day on he assumes an easier ride will be found with a plainer girl.  True, this is the case, because the less options available to a woman, the lower maintenance she will be in her demands and dramas.  But women’s timeframe for high demands – when they are at their hottest – is very small.  Deep down they know this, but they are hardly going to tell a man he doesn’t need to exert as much today because in a couple of years time she won’t be as high in demand.  Men need to work it out for themselves, or if they wish, read blogs such as this one to help out.  A woman is only as high maintenance as a man allows her to be.

As for women who are assertive in locating a man who is more pleasing to the eye in relativity, they do tend to have a far higher than average female grade of confidence.  Their insecurities are lower, as are their egos.  They are more risk taking and thrive on the “gains before outcome” mentality.  They manifest all this due to not relying any longer, if they ever did at all, on their physical looks to attract appeal to men.  Often, they have decent jobs, with a life that is stable and asset driven.  Does this start to form a pattern to anyone?  Poof, you got it – older women. 

The most likely outcome for a woman as explained is to track down a younger man who appears doubtful in fulfillment of his female hotness aspiration potential.  In easy language, he will be low in confidence, attitude and drive.  He may actually be decent looking, but the big money is on him being no more than a grade above her.  The older woman will know this grade differential, and it won’t exactly fill her boots with joyful emotions, but her evaluation of his shortcomings act as reassurance that he isn’t the type to drop everything at the first sight of a younger and hotter female rival. 

When all is said and done:

• Unless he has totally saturated his sexual expeditions with hundreds of women, a man would not commit to a woman, especially a less physically attractive woman, if he had a total guarantee that a future of abundant female conquests are there for him.
• A man would not settle for an older woman if a crystal ball showed numerous younger women queuing up for his attentions.
• A younger man wouldn’t declare all his commitment cards to a lesser looking woman if he had been accustomed to boxing above his weight.

What you find with men - who are with older women or/and women less attractive than them - are natural inclinations to speak words that boost the beauty of their female partners, over and above the real level she is at.  I guess it is a way of saying she is as good as he can get, even if intrinsic knowledge tells him otherwise.  On the other hand, a woman will elevate her man’s real physical attractiveness standing, but this will only occur if she is fully convinced that he is below the self-assessed and public view.  If she is with a man who is on her beauty level or above, and this rarely happens due to women taking the opposite road, she will offer far less promotion, if any at all, in the direction of what is there for all to see. 

Women, in general terms, may live far more in denial than men in external verbal execution, but internally they attain a far greater grasp of the sexual market process realities.  Nothing epitomizes this more than older woman who “date up”.  They will be fully aware that most women single out a less physically attractive man as a long term partner, and this trend results in a surplus of men at the top end of male good looks.  As although there are 3 to 4 times more hot women than hot men in number, only 10% of these women will date a man of set apart looks equivalence.  This results in less “available” hot women than the quantities of hot men hunting them down.  Some of these men will happily wait for the favourable roll of the dice, but many more are so sex requiring that they will begrudgingly drop their standards and play the numbers game.  Less facially beautiful but more confident women are not slow to jump on this state of affairs, and the vulnerable traits of their prettier and younger female opposition offer a springboard to men who they couldn’t acquire if this wasn’t the case.

If you are an observant so and so like me, it may not have escaped your attention span that you have often seen many physically attractive men in close sexual contact with female pop stars during video shoots.  This dynamic – of a better looking man with a lesser looking woman - is certainly not absolute in music videos, but it is apparent on a far greater percentage basis than the comparison of heterosexual bonds seen in your everyday life.  People should not get carried away with this pronounced viewing, as it is nothing more than a ploy to expose more attention onto viewers of both genders alike.  Sex sells, but it doesn’t represent a generalization in the sexual market.  Once again, the celebrity world of fame is the last place anyone should look to if they crave a hunger to ascertain how women choose their male mates in the real world.