Sunday, 5 January 2014

Women showing men how not to do it

“Just where have all the good guys gone?”

It’s quite pertinent that I publish this post today, because there is a certain football match going on where the aristocrats from the Kings Road of South-West London – Chelsea F.C - are playing my local team, Derby County.  We haven’t had a big team come to town for some time, so up the Rams!

When the Cup draw was made, I was browsing on Twitter.  It came to my attention that some of the Derby players had tweeted about the fact we had drawn Chelsea, with Mourinho and his blues on route come January 5th.  In the magic of how Twitter works (something I’ve never spent much time on), local supporters then respond like the typical dog wagging, supplicated person epitomizes.  You would expect this from the thousands of men, young and old alike, as I guess deep down a naïve boy or man has a tendency to idolize his “heroes” when his own life offers little in itself.  Harsh perhaps, but you know my feelings about spending irrelevant time and effort on things or people that give no benefit to your own life.  If they’re happy acting like this, then good for them.

On this occasion, what struck me more than anything was the noticeable number of women who were adding comments in the direction of the players who had left tweets.  Now they weren’t obvious with flattery, compliments or supplication – as is the case with men who do likewise – but it was just enough dangling of a carrot to give hope of a response from the relevant footballer.  It just goes to show that even with the highest of status men, in relativity to the local area, a woman will still lead in a way that has a shield to protect her pride.  This is despite every last ounce of her feminine juices urging to be with one of these men with such high profile.

You will see these habits with regular women towards other high profile men, far beyond my local city.  I guess what fascinates me more than anything is the fact the tables turn in comparison to what you see in everyday existence on social network sites or real life in entirety.  With over 90% of men, it is they who are directing the initiation, conversation and desperation towards the women. In the case of women vying for valid attention of a sports star or similar, the odds aren’t on their side.  For every 1 of these men stand over 30 hot women, so you can imagine the chances for women who fall below this physical attractiveness yardstick.   

Fame, whether international, national or local, gives a free passport to receive female chasing.  The money they earn, and abundant it is, is actually a side-issue to the profile he holds.  If a woman can be with a man of this stature, then it elevates her importance to the world, and this is far more important than the wealth it brings.  But of course, put the two together and it’s the lottery on her doorstep.  No other male desirable factor comes close to this, whether it is looks, personality, dress style, attitude, potential or knowledge of how women work.  All this is by-passed when a vision of fame is projected in front of their eyes.  On a normal week, it would take a person to objectively walk past thousands of men before they saw someone as physically attractive as me, including most of these high status stars, but I can tell you that I have never had consistent tracking from hot and cute women in the form of how these men attain it.  Glances in my direction, yes, but certainly not in an engaging and interactive way accustomed with famous men.

What does all this have to do with regular men, you may ask?  Well I’m not going to sit here and say that there is anything a man off the street could do to compete with a man with fame.  I’m not, because there’s pretty much nothing he could do.  If this was the case, move along and move on.  But as already stated, there’s one hell of a number of hot and cute women who will not find their ways to these men, so how are you going to act with them?

It really does pain and humour me in equal measures when I see hundreds of men react to the most mundane or irrelevant Facebook status reports by just one woman alone.  Very often, these women are not even worth a second glance for me.  Not that the mindset or process should be any different if she was more pleasing to the eye.  But men just seem to go on their merry way with compliments or “likes”, in vain prospect that she just so happens to see his lovely nice comment and responds to him with advancing accordance.  Gentlemen, be honest, and how many times has this strategy worked positively for you?  Be honest once more, and how many times has that same girl you were forthcoming with in flattery terms gone running off to someone who didn’t even type a letter in her direction?  You know I’m right, but changing your ways is a harder task.  I get it.

The reason I get it is because I used to belong to this mentality too.  Not in the way of social network flattery, but in the manner of thinking that doing too little is a pain stronger to deal with than doing too much.  Living with regrets is difficult, because there’s nothing worse than leaving a scene with “what ifs”.  However, there’s a balance to strike, and women repel from men who show their cards too soon, too excessively and too often.  This is all the more relevant for men seeking women who are a level or two above them in the looks stakes.  Good looking men have a little more leeway, because there is already a challenge set in a woman’s mind that assumes he’s seen as desirable.  But on the basis most men are not good looking, and on the assumption most men would prefer to “date up” than “date down”, showing too many cards to prove you like her will have adverse effects on her liking you in a sexual way.  And I can’t think of many men who genuinely want women as friends, and not for sex. 

So if on the one hand doing too much will reap only negative scores, yet it is the given view that men need to make the first move with nearly all women, where does the balance strike?  I like to call it the move in – move out process.  It’s quite simple, because all it boils down to is moving away when she shows less emotion or interest than you.  If you approach a woman for the first time, ask no more than 3 questions before she asks you one back.  If someone you’re interested in isn’t offering conversation or positive vibes in the interaction, act in the same way with her.  Never reward a woman who isn’t giving you at least the same back.  Show her you have other things going on in your life, but give back when she pulls in or senses she’s losing you.  It’s all about never allowing her to know she has you on the puppet strings like she has with all the other men.  Women don’t fall for jerks because they’re jerks per se, they fall for them because the apathy and indifference these men show acts as a firm degree of attraction.  The same applies with regards to women’s obvious interest in a pre-selected man over a single male candidate, if all else is equal.

But when all is said and done, the move in – move out process is a waste of time if you don’t get what you ultimately desire.  This is why a man should always box a woman into a corner to escalate the attraction.  Forget what women say about being ambushed, because this escalation doesn’t need to be interpreted in the same way as desperation.  A man who knows what he wants is full validation of a man who doesn’t waste time on stroking a woman’s ego and making her feel better about life.  A man who knows what he wants puts himself first, and women, deny it as they will, feed off this attitude.  If she doesn’t respond to your prompt advances, you’ve just saved yourself some valuable time to use on one more gratifying.   If you’re a man worth having, it will be her loss.

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