Saturday 15 October 2016

The explanations behind weak, feminized and lapdog men

“Maybe we need to reach rock bottom before aspiring to even a glimmer of hope.”

Reader David Mayor - a newcomer to this blog and clearly a smart man – makes some accurate and totally truthful points on the back of this recent post he located on Women’s choices: men’s divorces:

I just ran across your blog. Really enjoying the content. 

I agree 100% with your view of men in Western society; they have been feminized, and turned into "lapdogs" as you say. And the irony is, despite the fact women always say they want guys to be more "sensitive", most women hold these type of men in contempt (though they seem to lack the introspection to realize that is the men's feminization that they are condemning) and are extremely unhappy with them. And the more "feminized" the guy, the more unhappy and unbalance he is. What a mess! The modern feminist movement has created a bunch of unhappy individuals; this is always the result when biology is denied and ignored. 

What's even scarier is I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like it is going to get much worse before people finally wake up and start rebuilding a normal, functioning society from the wreckage of our current dysfunctional, irrational society.

I thought this topic is worth exploring further, because whilst most people, women and men alike, appear totally comfortable in never realizing the reality or are oblivious to its phenomenon, the minority of society who are willing to accept this horrible evolvement perhaps never intricately or extensively explore the reasons behind the circumstance.    

One evening in Ottawa during my recent trip to North America, I ordered a pint and sausage casserole in a Scottish themed public house.  I decided to stay at the front bar to consume.  No more than a minute after placing my arse on the seat, a reasonably cute woman sat on the stool next to me and ordered herself a large red wine.  I started conversation with her after a few minutes (ensuring she heard my British accent beforehand for further attraction and inquisitiveness on her part), and straight away it was clear she had brains to back up her decent looks.  This is something you will find as you climb up the stairs of population – the bigger the city (at least once you are in the centre/downtown), the more likely the higher intelligence of the woman.

For whatever reason and discussion link, we started talking about relationship dynamics.  I told her in no uncertain terms that I thought the male/female relationship interface in this day and age is a predicament that I am not at all fond of.  That being, over the last generation at least, a significant increase in feminine men and a likewise emergence of masculine women.  I further added that the happiest and most genuine loving relationships are when the traditional role is performed – masculine man with feminine woman.

The expression on her face was quite something.  It wasn’t antagonistic or hostile denial, and instead it was almost a confused and bewildered look that amalgamated with her perceived breath of fresh air feeling and reserved satisfaction.  It was as if she had finally met someone who possessed the cojones to tell her what she (and millions of other women like her) truly desire.  She even verbally agreed with me, although this didn’t prevent her from mentioning, in slight ridicule, how perhaps society had got fed up with just seeing commercials of men in white t-shirts sporting big muscles.  What was I wearing that night?  A white t-shirt!  Do I have big muscles?  Far bigger than the average man.

The woman misses the point, or she conveniently contrives her comment to somewhat justify the feminine ways in men.  Male masculinity, although undeniably assisted by good physical stature, is not primarily or proportionally dominated by a man’s physique.  It’s more about attitude and how he handles life and women.  In other words, a beefcake man who gives in to his female partner is far less masculine than a skinny man who has the fortitude, savviness and knowledge to work out the puzzle and put her in her rightful place.

This woman, who not until the end of the conversation did I find out was called Nicolette, had to go and meet her friend for dinner.  I was to set off to Montreal the following morning.  I sensed the disappointment on her face when we parted ways, with her saying “Maybe we will collide again one day.”  I just said “Maybe”, in full comprehension that there would be as much coincidental chance of us bumping into each other again as me winning the Euro millions. 

If the truth be told, I was also a bit disappointed.  Although she didn’t instinctively grab me by the gut, she was more than bangable.  When a woman has the rare ability to also mentally stimulate you, a 7/10 looks rated woman (as she was) is the equivalent mate appeal of an 8/10 woman with very little interesting to say.  At least after the first month, in any case.

But more than anything to take out of this conversation was the further, in real life motion, proof that women do actually desire to be with masculine men, and not weak, agreeable lapdogs.  As David commented, they just don’t tell men this, or they refuse to fully believe it to be the reality.

I offer you some food for thought to why men have become progressively more feminine, over the last 30 years especially, and in particular concern to why there is no suggestion of it decreasing in magnification:

Easier and incentivized divorce for women

By clear and vast majority, women are the first to want into marriage and the first to want out.  Fact.  Far fewer men (mainly loser men or men lacking in options with women) would get married if they had firm and foreseeable knowledge that they could have sex with many more women (women worth having) for many more years to come.

Due to feminism, equal rights campaigning, and poor laws in place, divorce has become easier and profitable for women who, most likely, married men they were never truly in love with.  As one party has more power in a marriage, they become stronger and, by no mean coincidence, more masculine.  As the other party risks losing children access, finances, equities and pension funds, they are the result of becoming more feminine.

Single female parentage

You only have to walk the streets, or just hear outside conversations, to know there are far more single parent set-ups.  In a western world where women want children as much, if not more, than ever, yet men have found alternatives to female companionship and commitment, the manifestation of this consequence is for more women to contrive pregnancies in hope of a happy ending.  Rarely is the ending happy, and off she goes in bringing the kids up herself.

On the biological basis that, give or take, half of new born babies are male, this will produce far more teenage boys in the responsibilities of inadequate female upbringing as every year passes by.  He may see his biological father on a part-time basis, but this doesn’t come close to the female dominated words, demeanour and belief he is brought up with.  When a young boy has no male role model guidance to nurse him through the muddy waters of an ever uninspiring world, the end product is a feminized male adult. 

Commercial exploitations of weak and inadequate men

So my friend in Ottawa says the society was fed up with advertisement of muscly, masculine men?  That sounds like a good deal better than what we see today.  In today’s commercial world, it is far more prominent in showing a nancy boy talking male, ridiculed by his female partner.

What good is this to the relationship necessities and agendas?  Not only does this make men feel worthless, but it allows them to believe this is now the norm – a passive and naive man in the face of a dominating, ridiculing woman.

Social media, reality television and media pressure impact on women

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram et al have all been a beast of horror to the production of the modern day woman.  It’s not like women from 15 years ago needed a helping hand to elevate their attention-seeking and ego enlargement requiring ways, but social media has took this to a new, repulsive level.  Men, being desperate and clueless, have no idea in how to counteract this monster.

The same can be applied for reality television and fashion magazines in the mentality of a woman.  In one way the female ego has never been bigger, but in another way the female mind has never been more self-conscious.  When you put these two factors in the same frying pan – high self-opinion, self-entitlement and materialism, simultaneous to nagging self-doubts – the natural process is to go fishing for things that make her feel better about herself.  That usually comes in the form of supplicated and provisioning men, or aka beta males.

When a woman is constantly feeding her need for attention and ego stroking, she will give off bait to fish who think they have a chance of a bite.  Of course, any man with half a brain knows that she is actually not attracted to men who bite the bait, and fully attracted to men who turn the other way or play her at her own game.  But as >90% of men stand by the wrongful belief that complimenting a woman and feeding her tummy is the best course of action, they naturally form into a weaker a man who goes along with what they think she wants.

Implications of divorce

Similar to the first point, men who choose to enter into marriage face economical, emotional and psychological damage that is far greater than the respective woman will incur when it all goes pear shaped.  As I’ve pointed out before on this blog, marriage (and kids) not only puts a man at risk in all the aforementioned items, but it also places him in a less powerful position than pre marriage.

Why?  A man outside of marriage can stand up to a woman, and put her right without much fear to the ramifications of a failed relationship.  In fact, any half-decent man should see a relationship breakdown as an opportunity to get on the saddle with a younger and hotter woman than the one he just split up with.

Then place this same man in a marriage, and worse still, with children to consider.  If he acts in the same way, the woman, whilst still preferring him sexually as firm over passive, has financial and legal bias on her side.  Deep down the husband knows this, and he surrenders much of the strong character he could portray before marriage.  Again, surrendering power results in weakness, agreeability, and a subconscious transcend from masculine to feminine. 

Men boxing above their weight in physical attractiveness

Now not for a minute am I saying that the general female physical attractiveness benchmark is more impressive than it was a couple of decades ago.  Obesity has put paid to this.  However, cosmetic enhancement does mean that for young women who look after themselves and stay in shape, in the right places the same naturally looking woman today can look more attractive than the equivalent of 20 years ago.  So in theory, there should be more 7s and 8s in existence (although there are days I doubt this is the case). 

With these 7s and 8s, there are far more of them than men (I predict, depending on the environment, this is nearly 10 fold more on average) of equivalent looks rating in gender terms relativity.  All this results in a huge pool of men of lesser looks, and lesser overall appeal value up until some place in the 30s, to strive hard for the pretty girls out there who still represent less than 10% of the overall female population (taking it as women between 16 to 40).

When men try too hard and attempt to seek women’s approval, once more, it gives women the power.  Women’s sexual inclinations hate this, but their egos do like the receiving of attention, gifts and compliments, therefore they turn a blind eye to the disgust in preference of the motives.   Ultimately, when men try too hard, chase too long, and become unchallenging, women only see a weak man.  The man who acts this way not only is seen upon as weak by the woman, but he becomes weak in his deliverables too.

David mentions that he sees no light at the end of the tunnel, and I agree sincerely with him.  If you take my points in turn: Fairer divorce laws show no sign in arriving, single female parentage will only increase as men choose not to commit, commercials will continue to ridicule men, social media and it’s ugly adversaries aren’t going anywhere soon, divorce implications are just as negative for men as before, and there will always be far more mediocre men than the numbers of decent women worth committing to.  What a mess, to pinch the phrase from him!

The only glimmer of hope I do see is in the way of less men now committing, and in turn choosing alternatives – porn, video games, hobbies, or even longer working hours – over long term female consideration.  If something like 70% of men in their 20s to mid-30s are not married, and let’s not forget that, in sensible terms based on a similar aged female partner, this is the only timeframe worth considering getting married (due to women ageing badly and physically deteriorating into figments of the once beautiful imagination), women in this same age bracket may start to act more charming, become less materialistic and expectant, and give men a more motivation to spend time with them.  And, if they have any sense at all, they will consider this transition as soon as possible.

But I don’t see this as much glimmer of hope.  Of the 30% of men who do get married in their 20s and 30s, I expect that the vast majority are committing to the top end (>6.5/10 female looks rating) women.  The 70% of men who aren’t getting married are either smart or can’t find a woman worth the sacrifice.  If I’m right on this assumption, the 30% of men referenced will only carry on acting in the manner that makes their wives drift away.      


  1. Vinay,

    Another good write up again! I thought you forgot to add one factor which is pressure that comes from others, but I looked back at one of your previous post ( and realized you mention it.

    The pressure is a big factor I believe for many, due to the fact there are more blue pill people then red pill.

    I'm mid 20s and I am starting to feel the pressure from family. On the other hand, my married colleagues always encourage me to enjoy my youth and not to rush into, not to mention they say how lucky I am to be able to enjoy myself.

    1. Absolutely mate, you keep doing your thing. Imagine how many married men would love to be in your position. The motivations to get married have never been lower, whilst the risks have never been higher.

      I always remember a woman I knew a few years ago. She was 27 and an 8/10, and I was pretty gutted when we split up as I had visions of marriage and kids with her. She has recently got engaged to some sucker who looks as beta as they come, and she has aged into something I'm so glad not to be with in the last 5 years. Lucky bet!