Saturday 29 October 2016

Is he too attractive for the average woman?

“Play to the audience who matter the most to you.”

A reader gives a synopsis with reference to his interaction/dating/relationship dilemmas with women, and he asks for my thoughts:

Hi Vi Nay I read some of your posts and I find it quite insightful. Congrats!
In the past two years I have read a lot of red pill material and focused in improving my looks and got a cocky attitude. 

The thing is in the last months I get many IOIs girls flirt with me and still can't close the deal (with the women I really want). 
I do get many complimments and I am labeled as a player very often. I'm start to realize I'm focusing too much in attraction. At the beginning I thought I wasn't good looking enough but I think this isn't the case. Should I just be a "nice guy"? I do live in a small town.
Another question- Which countries in europe have the best ratio of cute women to good looking men?

My response:

Before I explore this conundrum, it is important to ascertain an image of where you sit on an overall male physical attractiveness scale.  This factor is the core foundation to the advice I will give.  Based on what you’ve said, I perceive you to be in the upper range of above averageness – at 7.5/10 to 7.75/10 – hence decent looking facially, a good body, and an above average male height (>5ft 10”) that may even hit the sweet spot of 6ft to 6ft 2”.  If your objective self-grading surpasses this above average mark, then everything I’m about to write is only further magnified. 

You mention how, since you have improved your physical looks and attitude, there have been many IOI’s and female flirting tactics projected in your direction.  You also document the “player” tag and high frequency of compliments.  An innocent bystander, or just haters, less clued up people, and those ignorant to reality, may question how a man of “only” above average aesthetic allure can find trouble sealing the deal with women he interacts with.  Surely he isn’t too intimidating, they may ask?

In answer to this, you have to analyze the numbers.  Yes, a man of 7.5/10 to 7.75/10, whilst being attractive, is hardly on Zac Efron’s benchmark, but he would still be in the top 3% of male eye candy.  Based on women between the ages of 16 to 40, the average female looks level is somewhere around 6/10 to 6.25/10.  A fair estimate of 10% of women in this same age bracket are of 7/10 or greater in physical beauty, with the vast majority (of this 10%) sitting at 7/10 to 7.5/10. 

With this percentage analysis in mind, it all sums up to an end result of you being more physically attractive in gender terms than 90% of women worth taking things further with.  If 9 out of 10 women prefer to be with a man who is about 10% less physically attractive than she is, straight away you, absent of great status and wealth, rule yourself out with the lion’s share of female population who are willing to get closer to you.

What this ultimately leads to are the following 4 suggestions in ramping up your success rate:
  • First, you only hit on women who are hotter than you.  Straight away you put a woman at ease in not being out of her league, and she will be far more receptive and willing to give you a chance.
  • Second, you build up the non-visual attributes on offer to a higher degree.  This means pumping up your profile, status, popularity, career, earnings, assets, attitude, confidence and likeability.  A woman’s ego doesn’t want to date a man who is on or above her own looks grade, but some of them will put this irritable feeling to one side if there is something she can gain from and make her life better. 
  • Third, just approach numerous women (preferably those only >7/10), and do it with an absolute not a caring crap to the consequences.  There is a minority of women who can see past their egos and trust issues, in placing priority on their hearts and sexual hunger.
  • Fourth, spend the greatest efforts approaching cute and hot women who look the age of 23 or younger.  The 90% of women I state who consciously date down with men on a physical looks consideration is mainly applicable to women aged 24 and above.  A much higher proportion (guestimate of 50%) of teenage and early 20s women place a higher emphasis on male physical appearance (although still less than social status) and less requirement on money and what he does for a living.  It is still important to accept that these young girls are more interested in a good looking guy so she can show off to her friends and foes, than the feeling she gets in being with the man himself, but at the end of the day when you’re poking the fire and hosing the garden, who cares about her motivations – at least in the short term anyway.     

You say that you’re focusing too much on the attraction?  I’ll turn this around a bit and interpret as you focusing too much on the beginning and end of an interaction with a woman who gets yours balls a bit tight.  If so, you need to eradicate the daunting first line and the cold feeling of possible end rejection, and enjoy the intersection.  Of course environmental challenges always play a part, but the 3 stage process has never done me any harm:
  • Say something common ground orientated that is applicable to the surroundings you are both in.  Don’t be too cocky, but equally don’t act like it is a privilege to be in her all not so might vicinity.  Act like she is just another person in a world of 7 billion.  I’ve led by pulling the hair of women in recent years, and not once has it done me any harm.
  • Break the touch barrier sooner rather than later.  This shows you aren’t like most men who are petrified of being near or touching a glamorous woman.  Do it on more than one occasion, even if it means saying she has something in her hair.  Unless the target woman has a male partner she is absolutely infatuated with (which is very rare in this day and age), she will let you do this and, more importantly, she will enjoy it.
  • Find out your standing with her sooner rather than later. There’s nothing worse than spending endless time on a woman you are attracted to with no end product.  Time is too valuable to waste.  Once attraction has been built, make sure you know where you stand.  If she says yes then great, if not, onto the next one…

I think I know what you are getting at in terms of once not thinking you were good looking enough.  It is easy to be rejected by a woman and consequently assume she is with a better looking boyfriend.  Then you see this boyfriend, or perhaps an ex or hers, and he is lesser looking than your humble but objective self-assessment.  Ultimately, as illogical as it sounds, you were actually too good looking for her.

Don’t be too nice, but don’t be too cocky.  The perfect compromise is a man who can stand up to a woman in a calm and self-controlled manner.  Be firm, but kind.  Decisive, but compromising.  Engaging, but not too happy.  Helpful, but not a lapdog. 

With the point of living in a small town, I do intend to write a post on this subject.  However in summary, the better looking a man, the more options and avenues he attains with women in bigger populated cities.

Finally, to the final question regarding my favourite topic of women and Europe.  I’d say Greece has the highest ratio of cute women to good looking men at approximately 15:1, even if perhaps their women are not as striking in hotness numbers or percentages in comparison to other continental countries.  Turkey sits at the opposite extreme, almost to the point where you see more better looking men than cute women.  Spain, Italy and Portugal are all similar in ratio to each other at around 10:1.  Italy has a greater percentage of eye catching women, but then there are more men in this compartment than any other country I’ve visited.   Germany, Belgium, and the Netherlands have a smaller ratio of cute women to good looking men (7:1) than the southern European nations mentioned.  France is a strange one, but I’d still have to say the ratio of cute women to good looking men is 8:1.  Czech Republic is a great hunting ground on this basis at about 12:1. My experience of the former Soviet Union nations is limited and distant, but off memory it was on the 12:1 ratio too.

As for my passport home of the Brexiting UK, don’t even get me started.  But even here, and observations over the past few years have concluded in viewing more women who catch my eye, it is still at the 5:1 mark of cute women to good looking men.  This is why any half-decent looking woman in the UK would be foolish to move abroad if finding the highest quality man within plausible grasp is her objective.  She would be shocked and knocked aside by the greater female competition.  Does this explain why a lot of uninspiring looking British women go on holiday to Turkish resorts, and arrive back with stories on how much attention they received from Turkish men!?     

Note to above
It is important to note that all the above ratios illustrated are, in reality, relevant to the comparison between a hot woman versus good looking man.  Or, in a similar realm, a cute woman versus an above average looking man.  If it was in fact an analysis of cute women/good looking men ratio, you could easily 10 fold it all.  In other words, there are 50 cute (7/10 to 7.75/10) women to every 1 good looking (>8/10) man in the UK, and likewise 80:1 in France.

Hopefully I can add Scandinavia to this list soon, but until setting foot on these shores it is unfair to predict.  Nevertheless, I have had the pleasure of intimate times with both Danish and Swedish women on my travels, and what they perhaps lack in personality and humour (they take themselves way too seriously), they make up for in what ultimately counts.  But as I can’t help myself in placing a bet, my perception is that it will be another high ratio – in Denmark and Sweden at least.

1 comment:

  1. I'm the guy who made the comment and I'm very pleased you replied me with a blog post which I found very useful.

    Just to add some details about me, I think a 7 rating suits me well. Due the IOIs and compliments I can assess I'm definitely above average but I'm no Brad Pitt so I guess I'm not higher than 7.5 facially. I'm 5'11 barefoot, 15% body fat with a slightly muscle definition, 29 year old and live in Portugal.

    Until some months ago when I got rejected I immediately thought I wasn't good looking enough or she may have another better looking option. I started changed my view after consistently observing the following:
    1) Those some women were pairing with no so good looking guys;
    2) Some very good looking guys still getting rejected;
    3) A friend of mine which is average looking but high status getting an insane amount of female attention.

    I'm considering re-allocating so your information about countries and attractiveness is very valuable.