“Pessimism is evil, dangerous, and no benefit to anyone.
And when you feel like it has struck, the only option is to take the high road.”
If I could give only one advice phrase to a young boy venturing into the world of the unknown (apart from the great line of: “Don’t listen to what women say, but watch what they do”), it would be: “Do what you want to do.” Purists will of course claim this mentality is too selfish to get on in life, but a purist belongs to the mainstream mass male or female group who never tell the truth in how the world goes round.
The recent Brexit referendum, in my personal situation, is a case in point to explain why I feel this way. I’d like to think I’m a pretty smart, sensible and pragmatic person who knows how to balance life’s enjoyments without compromising my responsibilities. I work hard, put money away, seek advice on financial growth potential, and basically it all manifests into a medium to long term profitable future plan. Then poof, a verdict of this kind, after all the many years and hard graft to get there, sends you tumbling many steps down the ladder. The foundations are still strong, but the structure has been wobbled. Much of this now needs to be re-built, although I have to confess that the immediate personal negative repercussions have somewhat been wiped out for now. But that’s my problem…
I’ve had some heated debates about the whole Brexit debacle with those who chose an exit path from Britain’s involvement in the European Union, but it is time to move on. If you’re dealt an ugly hand, you’ve got to play with what you’re given. Nevertheless, if there is one good thing I can take from it all then it has only further reinforced my mind that I shall choose the time to hang up my working gloves, do what I desire to do in between now and then, and take a back seat somewhere more enjoyable. This is many years from now, but it will be the date I set. If I don’t set it, and stick to it, outside influences will only take me off path. And this isn’t even accounting for any external forces of uncontrollable nature that may come before. I appreciate this possibility as much as anyone.
Your decisions made with friends will be tested. It will be easy to think that you always need to go along with the crowd in fear of missing out or being less appreciated down the line, but neither will happen, certainly not in a drastic or hold back way, if more than a couple of times you take the road you want rather than the one they sway you towards.
Family is another item similar to friends, although you should form a stronger loyalty here, even though the younger man’s mind will lean towards your male buddies. If family members are giving you as much as what you return, keep this equilibrium in the subconscious mind. If they give less, you give less. If a certain member goes the extra yard for you, do likewise in return. Always look after your mother and father, but equally do not get emotionally dragged into thinking you have to give too much. At the end of the day, it was their decision or poor planning that evolved for you to be here, and not your choice.
And of course, onto the favourite topic – girls and women. Nothing epitomizes abiding by the “Do what you want to do” phrase more than with girls and women you become intimately involved with, or those you allow yourself to be infatuated with. There is hardly a woman out there in this spectrum who will not put herself before you, and it’s no coincidence that the minority who are or have been performing this act – of placing her man first - are with men who are putting themselves first. It’s kind of ironic, right?
Whether this is gifts, money, future plans, college destinations, long vacations she plans to take (often without you), evaluating how much time you spend with her or your friends, your expenditure should never be greater than her likewise exertions. She has to know in her own mind that she is investing in the relationship as much, if not more, in spite of verbally telling you she loves the things you always do for her. She will love them more, and be more gratifying of them, when they are exceptions rather than the norm.
Because, women will tell you all the things they visualize as the movie-made perfect boyfriend. That is the boy who opens doors for her, treats her like a princess, spends time, money and endless endeavours to please her, kisses her rosy ass, acts like she is the only girl in the world, and the one who would put his own life on hold for her. Ensure you do the opposite, with isolated deliverables of the aforementioned. The reason women love a man is because they have to work for his love. The man who gives it too easily, too blatantly, too much, and too soon, is the man who they become bored and unappreciative of.
So in summary, put yourself first. Don’t be frightened in being alone for more than ten minutes. Don’t be anxious of losing one or two friends, or girlfriends, along the way. Don’t feel the need to be predictable, and in turn be challenging and unique. Don’t broadcast your life on social media, or worse still, post pretty kiss ass messages to women about their relative profiles. Be mysterious, where women strive to find out more about you. Don’t look too happy in being anywhere, but equally throw in good time smiles and positivity. Be as confident as you can be within your natural character.
But if one last piece of advice could be given, in priority to any of the above, it would be to not care about what people think of you. I’m a firm believer that, in assistance with uncontrollable nature of ageing, women look older than men in general terms at the same age due to worrying about what the outside world thinks of them. This approach is stressful, energy-zapping, fatigue intensifying, and absolutely unproductive. As I always say, life is hard enough as it is. Don’t make it any harder on yourself.