“The most successful salesmen are the ones who win work through their mistakes.”
It is always a bit of a running joke or, more so, obliviousness to the happenings when a top end god gifted looking man faces frequent obstacles in finding a woman he finds attractive who will date him. Women will be more comprehensive, even if silent or denying on the topic, to why this illogical scenario occurs. Men (outside of the <1% of men it is consistently happening to) are pretty much lacking total understanding to this possibility, because they think women are only looking for the richest, most famous, and best looking men. As stated many times on this blog, the latter is most certainly not the case.
Regarding this subject, reader Bryce puts a question to me based on the challenges he faces being a very good looking man (assume last word should read "me"):
What if you're rated 9-11 in looks? (Not my own judgement but others over the years). I find the really attractive avoid me, but younger women 6-8 flock to my
My first query would be with the 11/10 grade some third parties have said you are rated at? Not the over-scale number as such, but any man with unblemished and perfect looks would surely be snapped up as a high profile model, and this can then lead to high status beyond the profession of just walking down a catwalk or any other clothing exploitation. With this in mind, I’ll go on the basis you are a 9/10. Bear in mind that, on my relative rigorous marking with respect to physical attractiveness (for both men and women), I place the likes of Enrique Iglesias, Sean O’Pry and Cristiano Ronaldo as 9/10 to 9.25/10.
The above first paragraph to my response is worthwhile, because it hints at the two rules of thumb that women seek out in a long term male partner:
· Women want a man who is less physically attractive than their own female equivalent physical looks grade.
· Women want a man who is of higher status (both socially and occupational) and wealthier than their own equivalence.
The reason I believe it is critical to understand the two magic desired factors are because, in an ideal world, a woman finds a man who ticks both boxes. This “ideal” man is firstly that delegate who she still finds an urge to have sex with, but visually she steals the show when out in public together. By no mean coincidence, this man will be 10% to 15% less eye catching than her. Secondly, this man has a higher profile than her in social and professional terms, with the wealth facility to give her a better life.
What this ultimately means is as follows, with minority exceptions:
- A woman above the age of 23 will choose an average looking man with a good job over a good looking man with an average job.
- A woman under the age of 23 could go either way on her choice based on the above two options.
- A woman of any age will always take an average looking (and probably even ugly) famous man over a very good looking man who fulfills a “normal” job.
- All else equal, a woman will choose a man less physically attractive than her in comparison to a man who is as, or better, looking than her.
- A woman will, in majority cases, choose a good looking man with high status over an average looking man of lower status.
The pertinent and highlight point is the last one. This is why the likes of Iglesias, O’Pry and Ronaldo would never have any problems finding top class women. Sure, they may get rejected by one or two who have egos and trust issues bigger than their hearts, but most women will take oversight to this due to what they have to gain.
A woman’s principles, preferences and inclinations are all thrown out the window when she is placed in a situation that could benefit her life, even if it means going against the tide of normal service. This is why you can never take anything women say on emotional topics seriously or on face value. They all have their price, or timing desperations
Advice to Bryce
As I can relate to first-hand, your dealings align, to a certain extent, with my experiences. That is: Cute women are often more positively responsive to advances from good looking men than hot women.
However, I would change the parameters somewhat. As you documented, I also think that a decent share of cute women between 7/10 to 7.75/10 are open to taking things on with men better looking than them, but where we differ is my view that anything below 7/10 results in widespread antagonism, hostility and jealousy that belongs to them feeling too inferior. Also, I don’t find that lower end hot women (8/10 to 8.5/10) are very fond in being with an 8.5/10 to 9/10 looks rated man, such is their accustomed greater comforting feeling in historically being with above average looking (7/10 to 7.75/10) men. Women from 8.75/10 upwards are then more receptive, because a very good looking man isn’t instinctively out of her league when she is dolled up. Nevertheless, such is the world we live in today that most women at the top end of female hotness think they can score a famous man, many of them keep waiting beyond the point where their peak beauty has been reached and the slide has commenced.
In terms of numbers, you have to bear in mind that although 90% of women will not want to date you, there are still many more cute and hot women that sit in the world than men of your looks bracket. So for every one man as good looking as you, there will be 30 to 40 women ranging from cute to hot (mainly cute it has to be said). So although you will get a lot of refusals, 3 to 4 of them (out of the 30 to 40) will take you on. Not great odds I accept, but still better than being invisible like most men are, or being taken for a sucker. Good screening and character judgement will assist you.
With regards to strategies, I throw these at you:
- Whereas average looking men are better off being proven by female pre-selection, a very good looking man needs to show a level of attainability. The “I’ve just come out of a long-term relationship” line is the best quick fix method, as it shows you can hold down a relationship without presumption your current girlfriend (if you told the target women this was the case) is much hotter than the woman you are hitting on.
- Whereas average looking men can get away with a level cockiness, a good looking man showing this same barometer reading will reap negatives. This is because a man with blessed top end male looks is already hanging on the edge of god-like figure perception with women, therefore a level of modesty is required. This isn’t to be mistaken with not looking or acting confident, but it does mean a fine balance should be met. A woman once said to me that women want a nice guy - who is cheeky. I think there is some truth and logic to this.
- Whereas an average looking man may attract women through a more moody and distant demeanour, a good looking man needs to portray what I explain as positive approachability. This most definitely is not walking with a smile wider than the Pacific Highway, but a mild smirk should be sufficient.
- No negs are allowed. Negs are for men hitting on women who are noticeably better looking. I’ve tried negs before, and not once has it done me any good. A very good looking man using a neg opener on a cute woman will allow her little brain to think you are taking the piss. Fine for men who need to make a mark on her, but not for men who already have.
- Use situational openers. Make it a genuine question that forces her to talk on neutral basis. Make sure she doesn’t just talk about herself, but make sure even more that you don’t do the same. Get her to know you have an element of likeability, attainability, commitment and modesty.
- Similar to pre-selection, be careful how far you take this. Your target woman will expect you are a playa, and can consequently take your pick of female existence. Whilst women’s sexual organs are attracted to men who appeal to many other women, their egos don’t like this circumstance. Basically, a woman will give an average looking playa more leeway than a good looking playa. In essence, neither confirm nor deny your playa ways if she brings it up.
- In their bizarre and innate character build-ups, many women are attracted to average looking men who have cheated on women in the past. Again, there is a need for an average looking man to prove himself. Even if you have acted out past infidelity, as a good looking man (who isn’t famous) you need to illustrate being a faithful prospective partner. I often use words along the lines that I’ve enjoyed my single life phases – hence slept with many women during these times – but once in a committed relationship I have never cheated on anyone.
- Mingle in bigger cities. The bigger the place, the more glamorous (although granted, the more status and attention seeking) women there are. These women are more open-minded, and they will at the very least be more engaging and easy to talk you.
But if there is one last piece of advice I’d give you, it is to not feel resigned to the reality as explained. You still need to approach every woman as if each and every one of them will say yes to you, and if she declines, it is her loss and no skin off your nose. If you have the attitude of resignation due to the predicament in making women feel like you are out of their league (btw, I’m speaking out loud generally, not about you personally), you may as well be a man who thinks all women are out of his league.