Tuesday 7 October 2014

Women’s interpretation of men lacking ambition

“It’s not the end, not even the beginning of the end, 
but more perhaps the end of the beginning.”

First: a basic truth behind women’s choices in men.  A woman’s ideal male partner is someone who is higher in occupational status but lower in physical beauty than her.  It may sound obvious to season campaigners who study this subject, but I think this basic principle is lost on most people.  Men, naïve as many are, can be naïve or oblivious to this all so common occurrence.  Women, who are far more aware and astute to this fact, conceal their words to protect their integrity.

Of course this trend only starts to emerge from a certain point in life.  On the whole, this will creep in when women hit their 24th birthday, and if it hasn’t by then it will certainly have done so when 25 or 26 candles are on the cake.  At this point, women are both looking to settle down and starting to doubt their beauty in comparison to the pictures from their late teens and early 20s.  Naturally, a man who isn’t striking to the eye but who is bringing in the cash manifests as a man who ticks each box for most women’s life path.

Many of these men – who are less physically attractive but with decent occupations – do not inspire women in sexual terms.  Sure, they have a penis and may know a thing or two in the bedroom, but they are never going to be the kinds of men who leave her craving to rip his clothes off.  The odd exception may be if the respective woman works at the same place as the higher status man, because his display of power in the workplace can, to a restricted point, psychologically arouse her more despite him lacking in physical stature.  An ideal man for a woman is someone who has a level of raw male power and height, but who possesses facial features that are undoubtedly less impressive than her own.  If this man is higher status than her, the dream ticket has been found.  A man who is as, or more, physically attractive than the relevant woman is rarely desirable to her for long term relationship consideration, but if he does show leveraged status above all other men, it is not coincidental how this same woman will take oversight to her irritable feeling of physical inferiority. 

When a woman does finally track down the man she is willing to commit to, and this man will usually be the low in demand but high in commitment willingness male, she sure holds desires for him to play his part of the bargain.  This comes in the form of earning as much money, taking on as many promotions as possible and working as many hours as his frail body allows, in order to give her and the family as good a life as she believes they all deserve.  In previous generations, this “deserved” life was little more than food on the table, one family car and possibly a short summer vacation.  For the modern day woman, with techno freak children at a counter, the requirements have been elevated to a candy bag mixture of an affluent living area, a big house, two cars, a socially accepted school with a reputation suffice for the son and daughter, wide screen plasma televisions, laptops, tablets, mobile phones, sunshine destinations, and enough clothes for the wife and children to look good against the competition of next door.  Have I missed anything?

Now the above is a touch extreme.  Strong men say “no”, and in truth very few women in percentage terms have the quality – hence extreme physical beauty that is sustainable – to demand all of this.  But my point is that the bar appears to be raised as every year passes by, and the poor man in this dynamic usually bears the brunt of accusation in falling short of the mark.  He needs to do a little bit more to pay for the inflationary requirements of next year.  The woman is asking him to show more ambition…

When a woman sits down with her male partner during the evening meal, the subject of money will never be far from the first topic of conversation.  I may not have a nagging wife myself (aren’t I the lucky one!), but I hear it from many visits to friend's houses.  A woman is quite cunning when she will state the word “ambition” to a man.  She will claim it is all about him fulfilling his potential, gaining greater job satisfaction, acquiring a new lease of life and being able to show the world he has made it.  There is no mention to the disadvantages it may have on his health, stress levels, free time or work-life balance impact.  However, a woman’s true motivations behind her man showing more ambition are to earn more cash and portray an elevated status for her to show off during the next social drinks outing. 

Q-tip 1:
Behind most women’s words, when men are discussed, is a translation that they desire an ideal male partner to have money and status.  This won’t be said in words per se, but look out for the giveaway signs that bring it all back.  An obvious flaw women make is by mentioning what her female friend’s male partner earns or where they live.  It is another way of saying her man should be trying harder to get her to the same standing start.

Q-tip 2:
Men can, do and will take their jobs more seriously, often to the point of seeking further professional ambition, when they are in genuine love with a woman.  This “seriousness” is further compounded if he is in love with a hot woman (especially a woman hotter than his usual familiarity and history).  When this is the circumstance, a man can channel more ambitious thoughts through that little brain of his because the love acts as a vision for a future life with the woman he has found.  When single, men, like women, can get frustrated with the predicaments of life, and they deliver in a more care-free attitude in the workplace. 

Ambition is healthy for a man to have.  It gives him a purpose in life and a reason to wake up in the morning.  Where the meaning of ambition differs for men is that they see it as an array of elements that form one.  Ambition can be measured as accomplishments in life away from work, true happiness, quality of life, long term health, embraced memories, prideful recollections, tear in the eye moments, time to take a breath, and weekends to look forward to.  All the mentioned are no closer to being achieved by taking on stressful career ladder propositions and working 60 or 70 hours a week once there. 

On the other hand, a woman’s inclination for male ambition is pretty much the opposite.  It is for him to take on long hours at work with sleepless nights as a consequence, and it is to pay for items in life that run positives on her first and foremost.  At what point does she stop to consider how the perceived ambition could actually drain him dry from any enjoyment in life?

I wouldn’t say I’m an ambitious person in occupational terms.  I was once very much hungry in ambition when graduating from University, but various companies, and the tribulations male colleagues have put themselves through to reach goals, have enforced me to look at the bigger picture.  In addition to this, I’ve seen numerous men, and I’ve been bitten on this once or twice myself, who have gone way beyond the call of duty in hope of a better day, only to fall flat on their faces due to false promises. 

Further to this, I have experienced the little matter of a life threatening disease.  If cancer, or a similar illness or tragedy in life, cannot make a person see the bigger picture of what life offers, then nothing ever will. 

What I am ambitious in is reaching goals.  I strive to look good, I like to feel healthy, I endeavour to dress well and I indulge in odd luxuries if the wallet can stretch.  My objective is to experience as many women as feasibility allows from all countries, ethnicity and personas.  I am ambitious to see as much of the world as possible, but this is simultaneous to still knowing my responsibilities to get there.  If I worked longer, even as little as a couple of extra hours in each day, it would restrict me from achieving much of what I set out to do.  One of these restrictions would be not having time to study daily worldwide business in subsequently making money on the stock markets.  Ladies, is this your interpretation of lacking ambition?

I feel for men who are driven down this route.  Tired, worried, exerted and energy stricken men are an all too common viewing in the modern day world.  The majority of them are seen this way because they are trying to please the woman they are with more than the consideration to their own well-being and repercussions. 

But to summarize, did these men have to try so hard?  If they rewind time, even by just a few years, can the same woman they are with today demand what she stipulated back then?  In other words, who else would give in to her demands now?  Not to put too fine a point on it, she isn’t as hot as she used to be.  As mentioned before, the longer a relationship goes on, the stronger a man should be with his role in the bond.  If only men could have a crystal ball before they dived in balls deep.  If not, how about colliding into and reading a blog of this genre?  I can guarantee you they’d all be happier for it.     

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