“Never purchase anything you can’t afford to lose.”
One of the most discussed sexual market topics, whether online or in person, tends to revolve around the difference of opinion in terms of how feasible it is for men to secure younger women. More to the point, how much younger could she be? In previous posts, I may have come across as a protagonist in advocating that men, and women, are in a happier bond when the male member is a good few years older than his female partner. However, I have also backed this claim up with caveats that stipulate the requirements of a man – visual or non-visual – in determining how he could manage to secure a younger woman.
To tame the haters of this subject for a moment, I’m the first to agree that the majority of relationships, especially up to the age of 40, contain a very small age gap. A small percentage would even include the woman being younger than the man, but by and large, you will find a man between 3 to 5 years older than the woman he walks hand in hand with.
This small age gap is not surprising. The average man on the street will be average looking, he will be a touch overweight, he will have a decent but not spectacular income, his style, charisma, personality, attitude and status will be nothing more than mediocre, and all in all he will be a genuine and honest man. Needless to say, this kind of man at the age of 35 is not going to have hoards of 21 year old women flocking at his feet. This may come across a simple and obvious statement, but I believe it needs pointing out to form a base view of how the world works. With all this in mind, this man as explained will naturally find his way to a woman who is 3 to 5 years younger than him.
So this blog has never documented or, in my opinion, misguided any male reader into thinking the typical Joe Blogs can wake up one sunny morning and score himself a much younger woman. This is far from the case. In addition, I have often pointed out the restrictions that many higher calibre men also find within seeking out a much younger woman.
The overall view is somewhat tenuous. Women and men are guilty of perhaps seeing the older man-younger woman dynamic through their own spectrums. This is easily done, and it is an observation on my part rather than a criticism. Men can have the tendency to see one or two of their friends in high places attracting much younger women, and they will maybe interpret these unusual circumstances into the norm. Women, on the other hand, may see it more often than they choose to admit, but as it leaves a bitter taste in their mouths they can be inclined to dismiss the inevitable possibility. Like most things, the truth and objectivity sits somewhere in the middle.
Nevertheless, what cannot be denied is that considerable age gap relationships – when the man is 8 or more years older than his female lover – is more than a passing vision. It may not be in a line of sight that often, but it is seen enough to back up the reality. I look at it from the following angles:
Men who look younger
As much as a man who looks 10 years younger than his chronological age is rare, and as much as this privilege may rattle most women’s cages, this blessing naturally allows a man to shoot and secure much younger girlfriends. Women don’t go out of their way to find older men, but they subconsciously look for desirables that are found in older men – maturity, wealth and occupational status to name but a few. This manifests in leading their strides towards men who are that bit older.
But on the other side of the coin, the younger a woman, the more conscious she may be about what people think of her social standing and credibility to the world. Dating a much older man is not particularly seen as a “cool” thing to do, and if he looks his age, irrespective of the benefits he brings to the table, most women will not venture there. However, place a man by her side who has maintained his youthfulness to the degree of looking many years younger, and this rejection can be overcome.
Male success rate: 60%
Extreme wealth or local social standing
We all know the types of men who are well known within a local town or city because of their money, assets or social profile. Maybe he runs an established well known company. Perhaps he owns the trendy nightclub where all the hip people go. Or it could be that very few sources know him but he has made money thorough property development or on the stock market. In any case, wealth and social status undeniably attracts most women. And let it be said, women who deny they find it appealing are just, if not more, interested in these men than their honest peers.
The problem comes in the form of how these men look in physical attractiveness terms. Money is rarely given without sacrifices, and high earnings or high pressure usually results in long hours dedicated to the cause. Long hours at work derives in less time to look after yourself, and from my experience and firm eyes, the vast majority of these men look no younger than their birth dates. Many of them look older.
With men of these types, the older they get the more scope they have. So a 30 year old IT expert will have far more trouble attracting a 21 year old woman than a 40 year old entrepreneur would do so in tracking down a male provisioning seeking 30 year old female hunter. A 50 year old man will find it easier to secure a 38 year old woman than all the aforementioned.
Male success rate: 30% on average (increasing as the man gets older)
Although women do not desire to be with men who look almost as old as their fathers, the female mind is generally tuned to be with a man who is less eye catching than her in gender relativity. So if a woman has a strong necessity to be with a pronounced lesser looking man, these men in the extreme wealth or social standing bracket will stand a far greater chance with females who need to feel valued and secure with male comparative ugliness.
Although men of fame represent such a tiny proportion to the male population, I have included this compartment as it will emphasize how any man should watch what women do rather than listen to what they say. If a woman says she doesn't like tattoos, see how she would react if a pop star approached her (even a below average looking dude like Ed Sheeran). Remember that woman who said she doesn’t like older looking men, and then see how she changes her tune once colliding with a film star. Maybe she doesn’t like grey hair, well the oversight will soon be put in place.
In pure simplicity, fame removes these barriers. Even in the real world, it is always the best course of action to take a woman with a pinch of salt when she refers to preferences in men, but when there’s something in it for her, watch how she somehow manages to turn a blind eye to her documentations. When a woman has the opportunity to inflate her level of importance, nothing will stand in the way.
Male success rate: 95%
The sexual market doesn’t tell porky pies. The rule of thumb is that most men strive for female youth and beauty, whilst most women strive for male status, maturity, charisma and provisioning capabilities. It’s not so much that men ideally want to date women younger than them and that women desire to date men older than them, but the shear nature and evolution of life manifests in most beautiful women being younger, just as most mature, powerful , charismatic and wealthy men are older. There are limits to how far this process can go, but this does not act as a halt to how far some of them aim to shoot.
The biggest antagonists to men being in relationships with much younger women tend to be, from my experience and open ears, in the form of voices led by girl’s girls or women – mainly in their late 20s, but some in their 30s and 40s too - who date men of similar age (or even younger). This minority of women who date men of age parity or younger are often vainly attempting to hold onto their youth and good time endeavours, so their way to counteract this nagging thought is to have a fresher bit of male totty around their waistlines. It makes them feel better about their life for a few weeks or months, and they like the thought of external onlookers raising their value to the world.
But the older woman-younger man dynamic rarely has a happy ending, because eventually the stronger female urge is to settle down and be with a man who is committed and can provide for her. These younger men are not often designed in being capable to do so, and by the time she has reached 30 her resentment supersedes the good feeling he once gave her. This is if he hasn’t already moved on to something younger himself.
And ultimately this antagonism directed towards men dating much younger women strikes once more, because deep down she cannot hide from what is real life. Not only does she want to be with the high quality older men who can offer her what she craves for, but she despises him for knowing he is seeking out a female foe who is younger than her.
Not sure who you are trying to convince; your male readers, females, or yourself. Yes, there are factors; being a 10/10, being famous, etc. that make much older men appeal to much younger women. But most women are interested in men their own age. It's not "a minority of women who datr age parity" men like you state. It's a full over 50%. That is a Majority who not only date but go on to marry these men their own age. What is interesting is that this includes all marriages, not just first marriages. So a significant number of older women are like Cheryl Hines and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. - marrying someone their identical age as well.ReplyDelete
Have you not read it through? Silly question, as I guess you have just made the usual female reaction to a subject that hits too close to the bone. Unless my eyes deceive me, I have emphasized how the typical 35 year old man would be with a woman 3 to 5 years younger. This post has highlighted how a very small minority of men – from the 3 sections as identified – have a “percentage” chance to find a woman much younger. Try to listen, try to read, and try to digest....then respond.Delete
So generally speaking (generally, not just your own bubble) do you think a 28 year old woman would rather date a 35 year old man who looks 30, or a 30 year old man who looks 35, if all else was equal?
It’s clear to me that you are a woman with a man who is of similar age (or younger), and the reality of longer term ramifications is making you feel nervous. The simple reality is that many a man in the dynamic of this kind will, over time, wish he is with a younger woman.
But all is not lost. If your man is low quality, or you are a grade or two more physically attractive than him (as most women are with their respective male partners), this will mitigate, to an extent, his temptations and likelihood to fornicate. I have subscribed to this in previous posts. Simply put, his options outside of you will be limited.
I think it's quite true that most women shy away from men who are younger than they are; it's very rare that you'll find women with men who are more than 2 years younger. However, it makes absolutely no sense to keep equivocating "parity" with "younger" like you do. They're not equivalent at all.ReplyDelete
"I have emphasized how the typical 35 year old man would be with a woman 3 to 5 years younger." This is true to an extent. Most men would be with a woman his own age or 2-3 years younger. The actual numbers are 33% same age, an additional 20% 2-3 years younger, and an additional 11.6% 4-5 years younger. The percentage of women married to men even 2 years younger is only 6.5%. What I take issue with is the implication that just because women avoid longer-term relationships with men who are younger (which is true), that they also avoid longer-term relationships with men their own age (which is categorically not true). How can you say this is the case when the largest group of married couples are the same age? Learn to be accurate. That is my sole point.
Again, at what stage have I ever subscribed to your point with regards to women avoiding longer-term relationships with men their own age? Never. I state that women avoid dating better looking men than them, and sometimes this goes hand in hand with him being older, but this is a separate talking point entirely. I actually believe most women above the age of 25 would like nothing more than to be with men their own age, because in an ideal world they then have the ingredients of mental maturity, provisioning (poor suckers who do, but hey, that’s another story for another day...) and a man who looks youthful (in relativity to herself).Delete
But the law of average results in the older a man is, the more provisioning capabilities he has. Women find that appealing for mate suitability, and they will often choose this route. This is far different to your point of “avoiding” being with men their own age. Similarly, men have natural tastes for female youth and beauty. Both gender agendas, by no mean strike of magic, eventually interface in many situations due to the explained requirements.
Your above statistics only arrive at 71.1%. Where do the other 28.9% fit in? Also, look in the real world to people who are or are not married. Unless my eyes deceive me, far more men look older than the woman they are with, and on the basis, especially past the age 30, that many men look younger than their birth dates and women usually look older (or at best the age they are), this reinforces the fact they are a few years older.
Also, back to you first post comment. You mention men need to be 10/10 in looks, famous, etc to date women who are considerable years younger. With consciousness of referring to my own life, I’m no 10/10, and most definitely not famous or anything special. Yet over the last 7 years, more than half my girlfriends have been 6 to 10 years younger than me. They wouldn’t have been attracted to my age per se, but in simple terms, I was a better all round choice than men of similar age to them. And granted, I have also collided into quite a few women who gave me IOIs (therefore they must have been attracted to me), yet once they knew I was a good few years older than me they did not desire to take things further. And I’m just one regular guy in the world. So a large age gap of this magnitude can happen, but it is rare in percentage terms.
Oh, I want to say that apart from that I think a lot of what you say is true; most women from around the age of 24 DO start to seek permanent relationships and thus shy away from men who are considerably more attractive than they are. You seem to understand a fair bit about female psychology. I agree that most women dating younger men will eventually feel the pull to settle down and look for someone more stable (unless he is the rare younger man who provides the base of emotional security that women need to persist in the relationship, or they have already had a child). Again, the sole thing I am correcting is the "parity is same thing as younger" fallacy, because it's not correct.ReplyDelete
Vi Nay, I want you to have a look at this study:ReplyDelete
"Marrying an older man shortens a woman's lifespan, but having a younger husband reduces it even more, the study found.
The findings, drawn from the medical records of two million Danish couples, suggest that the best a woman can do is marry a man of about the same age."
Based on the above I think we can understand why it is that the biggest group of married couples are the same age and why America's marital patterns go as they do; women do the choosing (at least at a young age) and women instinctively know they will be happiest with a man the same age. The next-best choice would be a man a few years older. But again, to keep saying "similar age or younger man" makes no logical sense as they are not the same thing to a woman.
Young women in their prime mostly prefer older men.
When they get old they will settle with someone will put up with their crap and baggage.
Older experienced men would rather stay single than marry a shrew.