Tuesday 10 June 2014

Women being jealous of handsome men: explanations to the reasons behind their hostile mannerisms

“Sometimes people don’t tell you everything, but it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you.  It could just mean they are trying to protect you.  It could mean they are hiding something for your best interests.  It could mean they are manipulating a situation, as they are none the wiser to how things will turn out.  Or it could mean they are refraining from speaking the words, in order to suit their own agenda.”

If you’re a good looking man in an environment that isn’t exactly inundated with other handsome counterparts, the truth is you’re going to stand out.  At this point, the job you do, your personality, your whole stature and your background hold no relevance to how you are perceived by women.  You will still need to hold a presence, because even the best looking man in the world will soon lose his desirability if he holds his head down and has slumped shoulders with an expression of having the world’s problems to encounter. If you are this guy who stands out then you hold a distinct advantage over all the average looking men out there, but it’s important to stress this privilege also comes with some drawbacks.

Now at this point it is worthwhile in re-iterating that a woman’s perception of a man she doesn’t know will rule her conclusion to what kind of person he is.  If she sees an average looking to below average looking guy, she will hold perceptive emotions ranging from nothing to moderate or unemotional.  With a relatively ugly guy, outside of the immature, vicious women who may choose to ridicule him, the majority may be emotively dressed in sympathy for him.  With a good looking guy, some will address admiration and inquisitive looks, and these are usually the strong and confident females out there.  However, if she doesn’t know this handsome man, a high percentage of women will act in the more belligerent manner.  There are many reasons she does this:

It’s so easy for him to look good”

So she has seen this naturally good looking, tanned, charismatic and well-dressed guy in the first bar she goes in on a random summer’s Saturday night.  She has spent the last two hours making herself look as attractive as she possibly can, and even then she has self-doubts in respect to her worthiness once she sees a younger and more beautiful woman.  The whole week leading to this night was based around her office talk to what she will wear, who she is going out with, and what is going to happen.  So here she is after all this build up and effort, only to see a guy across the room who has effortlessly arrived looking at least as physically attractive as her in relative terms, knowing it would have taken him a fraction of the time to do so.  Guys like this have it so easy don’t they, so it’s no wonder her immediate emotion is one of hostility towards him.

His confidence and swagger

There are some women out there who can possess an air of confidence, and they can portray it naturally, but if you were to scrutinize a man and a woman on a direct physical attractiveness comparison basis (they were both 7/10), then far more often than not the male example would show more of a swagger.  Some men can go over the top to the point where it is counter-productive, and they can actually repel women instead of attracting them, but if conducted in a genuine and balanced delivery it can be a game winner for him.  So whilst she is kind of attracted to his confidence in a sort of delayed way, her immediate thoughts are of someone who loves himself.  It’s another perception of bitterness.

Her sexual market value is no higher than his

Ok, she might not know him, but straight away in her mind she knows his value is higher than hers.  At the very least, it is even.  Now the most important part of demonstrating value in a woman’s mind is her physical attractiveness.  Women will secretly prefer a man who is higher value in as many areas as possible - with the notable exception of physical looks.  This is the main indicator to why observation will offer evidence to many beautiful looking women with average looking, but often high status, men.  A woman relies on her looks as her trump card over a man, and no matter how good a job he has, how great a house he owns, and how much charisma, personality and popularity he possesses, as long as she is better looking than him then she feels higher value.  Or she can believe in the fiction of it.  But place a good looking guy in front of her and she feels vulnerable.  At least a beta male, average looking as most are by nature, places her in comfort.  A handsome man gives her an insecure disposition.

He’s having fun

Again, some good looking men are as stern and serious looking as women, and they can show worried signs to how they look and how others perceive them. However, you only have to observe a typical night out to visualize men appearing to have more fun than women.  Men basically take their lives less seriously than women.  Some men may be acting a touch immature, but you will see them smile and laugh a lot more on a larger scale basis.  A guy will be with his male friends, joking around with plenty of conversation, especially early on and before testosterone levels increase in their battle for women.  In contrast, many women are too busy wondering who is looking at them, or they are in unofficial competition with friends or other women with regards to who is receiving the most attention.  If she sees this guy, she probably thinks “not only is he cute, charismatic and hot, but he’s also enjoying himself.”

Women are magnetized to him

Men who believe it is unproductive or damaging to their success in attracting women if they are seen in the company of many other women are believing in a misconception.  Women who say this is the case – that they find a man less attractive if he is being suited by women – are giving out false messages.  The truth is this scenario actually attracts women more to him.  Nevertheless, if she sees more women staring in his direction than the beta males are doing likewise with her, in her mind he wins this competition against her.  It’s only fair to say that some women do accept, and even like it, that a handsome guy is being a “babe magnet” without even trying.  But from my experiences it is the more attractive women this annoys.  She becomes aggressive in body language and giveaway expressions, and any attraction of admiration she has towards his physical impressiveness can go beyond effectiveness to him, and it can turn towards jealousy and bitterness.  There’s a fine line between love and hate, and it will depend on the strength of character of the woman.  If strong, it will further make her desire him.  If weak, she will move onto someone more attainable, and someone who reduces her risk of rejection.  To summarize this point: it isn’t so much the fact he is getting attention himself that distresses a woman, as much as the fact she believes it bursts her own bubble of self superiority.

He can attract and acquire younger women

This is the horror movie come true for a woman who is now in her mid to late 20s, or beyond.  If a man of similar age has looked after himself, by the time he reaches his 30s he is in his physical peak.  Not only this, but he has naturally pumped up his sexual market value due to higher level of resources, personality, charisma and status.  Women as young as eighteen or as old as fifty will find him appealing.  Women do not age as well, through little fault of their own.  It is just an act of nature.  Whilst she may not necessarily want a younger man (but even if she did), the likelihood is this less mature guy is preoccupied by the girls his own age.  Believe me, if you start dating a woman in her late 20s and she finds out you have a history of dating younger women, her emotions will translate into insecurity, self-consciousness, jealousy and sometimes even hatred.

She doubts she is good enough for him

Women of all ages, once in sight of a man they feel a level of attraction to, will have instinctive thoughts of how they view him as mate material.  This may only be for a few seconds in a bar or a supermarket, or it could be hours consumed in solitary thinking to how the guy at work excites her.  People have an immediate, but usually accurate, assessment in comparing their physical rating with the person they are considering from the opposite sex.  If a woman has primary skepticism to her visual appearance being as impressive to the outside world as his, she will often show hostile reactions towards his presence.  More often than not it will be justified by claiming this man is simply not her type, but this is only a way to protect her ego and hide her evident weaknesses.  A woman in this predicament will have a belief, rightly or wrongly, that a better looking man could never value her beauty as much as a lesser looking man would do so.

Male physique

As mentioned previously, women will seek a man to have excess value in as many emotional attractiveness criteria as possible – with the notable absence of physical appearance.  Whilst our human nature is primarily prone to view the face of someone from the opposite sex, our emotional inclinations force us to rapidly also assess their physique.  You only have to talk to a large cross section of the female society to get a grasp on their anxiety of their bodily features and profile, and this concern places them even further into the world of questioning their beauty.  If a handsome man also possesses stand out bodily features, he can find himself in a position where a woman could never feel comfortable in comparison.  A man should never be fooled into women at work grueling over, or talking about, men with abdominal muscles, a toned body frame and chiseled jaw-line, and believe this is the general conception to the man they would choose to date.  In reality, only the strongest of female characters prefer to be with someone who is extremely attractive in facial and bodily terms.  This said, an average looking man with alluring physique, or even a below average looking man with a good body, has far greater leeway in avoiding this kind of negative reception from women in comparison to a good looking man.

He can sleep around with pride

It’s the old age argument isn’t it?  If a man sleeps around he is given positive labels like a “playboy” or a “love legend”.  If a woman does likewise she is a “slag” or a “whore”.  It’s not fair, but it’s just the way it is.  If he chooses to live this life, providing he isn’t actually cheating on any one of them, then he is applauded by men and almost desired by women.  If a woman mirrors this life, she is frowned upon by women and men alike.  She has to disguise her actions with justifications of believing they were an item, or that he was a jerk she didn’t know that well.  It’s just another example of a man having leeway in this case, and most women do not like it.  It is an unwritten rule that a man’s market value in the sexual world is judged by his quantity of sexual accomplishments.  In the case of a woman’s likewise judgment, it is the number of high calibre men she can find to commit to her.

He tans quicker, easier and better than an attractive woman

Nearly every person, male or female, prefers to look at their reflection in the mirror with a glee of a sun tan.  It brings us happiness and makes us look more attractive and healthier.  Many men are now resorting to sun lounges in the winter, and it is a fair assessment that women by numbers will be even greater.  However, if a man and a woman from the exact same ethnic origin were to be compared, the man has a naturally darker complexion (Swami and Furnham, 2008). This makes the natural tanning process from the sun easier for men to establish.  Like looking good on a Saturday night, it appears women need to try twice as hard, for twice as long, only to not even achieve the same results.  When it is a good looking man who inherits a glow to his face, the ultimate consequence is envious eyes from the more jealous orientated female segment.  All but two of all my relationships were when I met women in the spring, autumn or winter.  The two who I did meet in summer months both possessed strong personalities and confidence.  I’m sure this is not a pure coincidence.

So if you ever encounter women being hostile when you haven’t even made a wrong move or said a single word, these are reasons to understand.  She is making her mind up about you based on nothing more than a negative perception.  If you approach these kinds of women then expect compliance tests of the highest aggressiveness, body language in pretending to not be interested, refrained response to your interaction, or rejection in order for her to protect her emotions and ego.

There is an argument, and I have even put this to myself from time to time, that it may be advisable for a good looking man who is looking to increase his overall success with women, to scale down his look.  This could be in the form of a more conservative hair or dress style.  Personally, I believe this is a bad idea on four fronts:

  • First, a man in this instance is more than likely gaining pride, self-esteem and, most importantly, confidence from styling himself in such a way.  This act is self-fulfilling, and it serves as a recipe for greater efficiency in approach, interaction and relationship situations. 
  • Second, if a man chooses to scale down in this sense, he is fundamentally changing his own predilections to suit a woman.  Whenever a man feels the need to validate his presence to seek approval from a woman, he is in fact lowering his own psychological value to below hers.  Consequently, any benefit reaped by comforting her insecurities is negated against this process in which he de-values his worth and projection of the power between the two.  Basically, any man changing his own preferences for a woman will produce a mindset that is convincing of a woman being higher value than his own.  With this irrational (or any level) of confidence removed, a woman will sense this susceptibility and turn it into a negative on his behalf.
  • Third, even if a very good looking man was to take this option in toning his presence down, there is no guarantee it will prize a substantial amount of reward with these insecure females.  A woman will first and foremost look at a man’s facial and bodily features in comparison to her own physical looks, therefore the less eye catching style will be negligible in the whole scheme of her perception.  Furthermore, exceptionally high calibre and physically attractive women (who are usually found in higher populated cities with more open minded people), or women who are generally more confident to date a good looking man, will view this average style in detrimental, rather than a positive, light.
  • Finally, and most importantly, is the actual woman’s characteristics in being this way inclined.  If a woman is already intimidated, hostile or jealous of a man with good looks, a more mundane hairstyle and outfit isn’t going to remove her innate vulnerability. A woman with a man of this extreme handsome circumstance will always be placing doubts in her mind with regards to the visual imbalance, even though she will disguise these thoughts with fictitious reasons away from the truth.  If a good looking man is of high value with a strong and firm mindset, he must ask himself if a woman of this weak nature is of any use to him beyond a short term experience in contributing to his sexual collations. 

To pick on the debate of style and its fine balance, I can draw upon an experience of my own during a recent winter period.  I purchased myself a designer coat that definitely stood out from the crowd.  In my opinion, it oozed style without bordering onto being extravagant.  When I wore it for the first time on a Saturday night out in my home city of Derby, it was apparent how many women looked at it with a sharp, abrasive and aggressive look.  It was as if they didn’t enjoy the fact it captivated spectators in the bars we ventured in.  Even a young man complimented on it, but he made a caveat to his comment in a way of stating it was “wasted” in a town like this. 

When I wore the same garment for a five day vacation in New York City, the reactions and genuine positive remarks about the coat were as if I was living in another world.  I knew this was the case beforehand – the difference in receptiveness of style between a small town and major city – but in the space of a few weeks it gave further proof to how young women, and people in general terms, can receive the same person and style with such distinction in dependence of the natives they are accustomed to being around.

As human beings we can spend a lifetime striving for perfection, trying to be perfect, and hoping to impress and attract people.  This is what we believe people need us to be.  When we reach our potential, strangely they are consequently alienated from us.  In the case of good looking men in the face of a woman’s feelings, it is often increasing her attraction but reducing her positive thoughts towards him.  Of course, it’s far more advantageous to have her attracted to him than to only like him on a platonic basis, but to have both is more preferable in order to have further success in sealing the deal with women.  He just doesn’t want her to like him too much.

Acknowledgements and further reading

Furnham, A. and Swami, V. (2008). The naked woman and man.  The psychology of physical attraction, 4, 46-47.


  1. this writting is a great help to understand women. I always wonderd why women especily in groups want to put me down. Myself i wouldn't rate myself so high put it seems that women rate me high in order of hostility i get in public when i am on my own and sitting in a restaraunt or so.To say is that i live in a part of a city in germany where the unemployment is high. To decrease your chances with other women they will talk to each other telling he is gay so that poeple can hear it. The best way to react on this is to smile :) This will leave this bitter women with anger and frustration. I personly prefer cute girls they seem not to have this extend of bitterness in her brain when seeing a handsome men. I only can give the advise that this hostility against you should never birng doubts to you. Just go for cute confindent women and all be good. Matured women seem to be relaxed with handsome men. They have more confidence in their selfs but their are exceptions. And of course their will be women put theirselfs out the game because they feel to uncomfortable with your good looks or assume you are player. But nevertheless it is a advantage to be good looking because you can attract women easly and they will be in general open to you when they have the nesassery amount of confindece i search for. I can absolutly confirm your theories. Insecure good looking women or women who have invenst a lot of time to style their selfs will have a more intense aggressiv reaction against good looking guys the better he looks and/or has charisma. So good luck to you all stay in peace with yourself and forget about this angry women which are trapped in their limitit perception of of good looking people.


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  4. This is so interesting. I'm female, average looking I think- and I like to think I have a good personality. I've always wondered why some of my female friends always dated people who I think are no match with looks. :) This really explains a lot, because I don't believe I think this way, I really am attracted to good looking men, but my friends will usually tell me that they are too 'clean' or 'pretty'. Well... I really enjoyed the article. ^^

  5. Hey vinny, I get this alot from women. I am well built from home workouts so I get quite the looks in public. I would rate myself a solid 8 on the rise.

    My question is when a women is with her bf or husband and she makes a joke or nag on my appearance what would this mean ? This happened at the park today and the guy she was with was average from an honest opinion.
    If she is so into him why would she even mention me in any kind of way joking or not, is there something going on in her subconscious mind about me?

    1. I'll do a quick post on it mate

    2. Being a handsome guy myself recieving a lot of attention is good at first but it's some of the bad attention from women I get that frustrate me. People negatively judge handsome men like us beige they get to know them. I will try to help explain your cause. The woman who was with her boyfriend at the park probably immediately recognized that you were more attractive than her boyfriend. In my opinion I think she doubts that she can get a guy like you that's why she said that. Women who can get a handsome guy like you will have all sorts of negative notions about you. So basically she was hating on you.

    3. Yes, it would have been one of two reasons:

      1) As you say, the woman in the park would not be up to the standards (aka hotness level, in the main) required by our friend. She knows this, and it is what caused her resentment, hostility and ridicule.
      2) She actually was a woman who is hot enough for him to be interested in, but such is the egotistic nature of modern day women -(to put their egos ahead of their heart) that she takes choice and comfort to be in a relationship with a comparative uglier man (uglier than both herself in relative terms, and the better looking man she passed and dissed). As explained in the post, she is acting like this in the way to comfort herself, in knowing she could do better.

      All in all, women have an incredibly difficult task acting as a tug of war in their minds. A man who turns her heart and vagina on is usually a man who makes her feel more inferior and insecure about herself. A man who makes her feel better about herself is usually a man who doesn't turn her on / a man she does not find sexually attractive to a high degree. It is almost impossible for her to satisfy both of her needs within one man...

  6. Greetings. Your article resonates so much with me. I'm a 26 year old single guy, I've always been told what handsome and pretty boy I am from a very tender age....my story is that girls have always been unfriendly towards me since being a little boy, I was never received well up until now, I'll even greet a woman and I'll either get a weird look or I won't ge greeted back, there are so many parents that are trying to introduce me to their daughters but it never works out because the daughter's always avoid me....I won't lie I feel depressed at times often wondering will I ever find someone.

    1. Hi mate, hope you are well?
      Try not to get too down. When you master the world and yourself, you master others and the world. Life is too short to dwell on rejections or strange behaviour from women. Keep reading all the archives, and I'm sure you will gain both further perspective and practical field benefits when in the "pre relationship" phases.

    2. Hi Mate, thank you for your response. It won't be an easy task but I'm certain that I'll be able to gather the courage.

    3. I'll be posting on a topic soon that will give clues to a woman's receptiveness to a man's advances based on her facial expressions. That should be useful to you.

      Other than that, if you like a girl and she gives you the impression she would like to be approached, it is always a good thing to do so. Not only might she say "yes", but I can assure you that not knowing is a harder ache to your heart and mind than her saying "no".

    4. Thank you bro, when will you release the topic?

    5. Should be done on Tuesday bro.

    6. Hi bro. Pls send the link to this topic

    7. https://www.vinaywcmd.com/2022/11/detecting-womans-attraction-or-otherwise.html

      Voila, mon ami

  7. Hi bro. There's something else I'm struggling to make sense of...I was recently invited by a middle aged couple to the husband's 60th birthday. Upon arrival the couples daughter saw me and started throwing certain remarks at me and disrespected her parents for me being present at the party, keep in mind I don't know their daughter personally never spoke to her before but seen her couple of times in the past. What do you gather out of this?

    1. Hey bro. Hope you are well?

      To answer it with full credibility, you will need to tell me what she said. Not word for word, but just the main things she was saying.

      I am working (based from her dad being 60) on the assumption that she is somewhere between 30 to 35? My immediate thoughts are:
      1) As she is post 30 (but not at the total female give up on trying to look hot age of late 30's or beyond), she knows she is past her prime in beauty terms but she still lives with the past thoughts and vision of her younger self. This is common for women to be resentful of themselves and life if this is the case (as I think there is more than a fair chance it is the case).
      2) As a by-product of her resentment as described in 1), this animosity is further compounded by the sight of you - a younger and better looking person than her, in gender relative terms. She will know you are creating attentive eyes from others onto you, and she does not like the feeling someone in the room is more attractive then her. She probably walked in that night thinking she would be the star of the show, and there stood you to put her nose out of joint.

      Whilst I do believe these are these main reasons, it is important to note that this kind of hostility can also arrive from younger women than said man too. It might not be as common or aggressive, but it is very much something I have experienced - hence, verbal and body language hostility from women I do not know personally. Nevertheless, it is more prominent with older women.

      In essence, the female age almost becomes irrelevant anyway. The fact of the matter is that most women's egos do not take fondly to the sight of a man who is more physically attractive than herself. This manifests to bring about female nasty attitude. Ironically of course, when a man punctures a woman's ego, she is usually more sexually attracted to him. Pounce on this luxury when you can....

  8. Thank you for your response bro. Firstly she gave me a very dirty look and then she was like "I wonder what do such pretty boys want here", her mum asked her to bring me a glass of coldrink and she was like " let him fetch it himself since he's so much at home here" ...eventually she just got up and stayed indoors all the time while I was present ...

    Thanks for expounding and giving me perspective in light of the abovementioned

    1. No problem mate.
      I have to say that the broadcast of the words "pretty boy" from a woman is rare. Especially coming from a hostile woman. On rare occasions you hear the words, it is common to arrive from the mouth of (very rare) women who are embracing of male good looks.

      The rest is just simple resentment on her part, as all explained earlier. You need to learn a few lines to throw back at women like her:
      "You don't like me very much do you? Don't worry, I know I rub a lot of people up the wrong way, but the best people out there love me for who I am."
      "Have you just sniffed dog shit, as it can't be me because I smell great."
      "I really do put your nose out of joint don't I? I wonder why (with sarcasm in your tone and eyes rolled up)!?"
      "Don't worry, I know I'm not your type as I have seen the guys you are usually with. I know I'm not good for your ego like them."

      Some of this can be construed as cockiness and arrogance, and generally this kind of male demeanour (if taken too far) has diminishing returns in comparison to the benefits it has for lesser looking men. That said though, it is a little price to pay and small risk to take against the rewards it has for putting a sour faced cow in her rightful place.

    2. Thank you so much Mate....another situation recently. I was invited to a wedding and I was the only single guy and there were a few relatively attractive women there too....I literally felt confused because all eyes were on me but I couldn't seem to speak to anyone, couldn't even get a dance....to be honest I was even the best dressed guy and I knew that I even looked smarter than the groom...could that have compounded everything?

    3. I've done at least one post on men's dress style in relation to his physical attractiveness - and the respective interface this has on female emotion and receptiveness.

      In essence, being stylish as a good looking man (in the real world, hence not fame) has diminishing returns to investment, to the point where it can even become counterproductive. Why? Simply, it just makes said good-looking man look even more unapproachable, unattainable, high-maintenance, and putting women's noses out of joint further still. The response therefore from women will range from admiration to hostility, but at either range of female emotion they will still see this man as someone they will do nothing more than look at.

      Savvy clothes give the best return on investment to average and above-average looking men. I doubt I need to elaborate why this is the case.

      It took me many years to comprehend this somewhat perverse circumstance, but then again, it took me a long time to realise the whole good-looking man/female distaste to it dynamic too.

      With this said however, I have maintained enjoying to dress with style. I just like fashion, and the feeling of certain clothes looking good on me. No woman or person will stop me doing that, otherwise I may as well be a puppet to societal inferiorities.