Sunday 24 November 2013

Harry Styles shows how reputation breeds attraction

“No publicity is bad publicity.”

As a fellow resident of the United Kingdom, I can only watch and admire the global success that is the One Direction (1D) phenomena.  Note how I state admire.  No word of idolize or worship will ever some out of my mouth when referring to another man (or woman!).  The only male person who even comes close to this would be my late father, and even he wouldn’t acclaim this accolade from me.  In the case of 1D, I respect them, yes, but I’m a great believer that every man should strive to be the best person he can possibly be, and focusing on his own life should always be the priority.  Once eyes are shifted too heavily onto another’s life, it could be easy to wish you were someone else.

Nevertheless, when a boy band hits the top of the charts in more countries than I could name without pausing, especially when they come from outside of North America, it’s hard to not be intrigued a little.  Even the most die-hard 1D fan would be hard pressed in being adamant that Simon Cowell and his record label have not played a major part in the elevation of this international success.  As arguably the highest profile figurehead of the music world, Cowell would be able to mention this young British band at every given opportunity.  Once they make it in America, a springboard is placed to hop over to other continents.   

Not that I’m taking anything away from 1D’s talent.  They still have to deliver stellar performances with limited faultless vocal execution, and they most certainly do this.  I remember watching the British Xfactor with my girlfriend at the time during the 2010 cold winter nights, and from day one they looked and sounded the part.  From the minute they were manufactured together as a 5-piece (they all auditioned for a solo role), I can recall us both saying that they would win the competition.  They actually only finished third in the showpiece final, but few people with an eye for talent would have doubted they possessed the brightest future out of all the finalists.  However, I doubt many people could honestly have predicted how successful they would be a couple of years on.  A film about their rise to stardom was fair enough, but their own fragrance too?  Good for them, I guess. 

What stood out to me back then, as it still does today, is that unlike boy bands of the past there never appeared to be a stand out focal point member of the group.  Sure, three of them (Liam, Harry and Zayn) did more solo singing than the other two (Louis and Niall), and Liam mainly took on the role of post song speaker, but they all blended in well.  If you were to ask a million young girls or older women who they thought was the best looking of the group, there would be a relatively even split between four of them.  Even little Irish Niall, who I would expect to rank the lowest from female projection – based on their objectivity and honesty rather than attainability mentality – would still acquire his minority numbers.  In my opinion, the two most physically attractive members were (in 2010) Liam and Zayn, but the difference in all five of them, on a rating out of 10, would be marginal.  For the record, I think Louis (who just so happens to also be the weakest singer) today is facially the best looking, but this doesn’t necessarily make him the most physically attractive.  Overall male physical attractiveness is based on the three-way combination of facial features, body profile and height.  

So if there is no stand out singer, speaker or looker, why is it that the highest amount of attention, fascination and attraction from our lady friends is tuned towards the direction of Harry Styles?  Did he show excessively more confidence, charisma, style (yes, I know…), personality or impressive body language over and above any of the other boys?  The answer is: not to a pronounced degree, if at all.  What Harry did, and what elevated him above the others to acquire a leveraged status in comparison to his four peers, was nothing more than a statement on finals night.  Unheard as it was, these words validated him as a ladies’ man.  His words (as can be seen in the link at bottom) do not need an honours degree in lip-reading to know he was informing the competition winner of his likely forthcoming sexual opportunities with the opposite sex.  This obvious line that was seen by millions immediately gave Harry a reputation as someone who loved the ladies.  As a young man who loves ladies, and as a teenager who was then seen by a nation over twelve Saturday nights, surely this must mean every female now loves him.  This one line shined the spotlight on him and away from his objectively equal counterparts.

Of course, a young man in late teenage years has no real life experience in how to process this to his advantage.  Yes, he may well have had a few girlfriends laying claim to his school day expeditions, but his knowledge of female psychology, and how to maximize the potential of being a ladies’ man, would be extremely limited.  This is where media experts and music or management personnel come in.  They will have advised him to play onto this perception, and they will have devised exaggerated stories of his antics to the empty columns of tabloid newspapers.  Everyone is a winner.

For this now unproven reputation led Harry onto a short term (and probably fake) relationship with one of the female presenters in the following year’s Xfactor.  She was nearly 15 years his senior, but again, no losers are to be seen here.  He furthers his status, profile and magnified female attraction onto him – as more girls and women see his pre-selection by another relatively famous woman – and she boosts up her rank and ego a touch.  1D’s managers are all happy because it only further brings attention onto the group.  Less than a year later he is being linked with many other female celebrities.  As 1D began to conquer the transatlantic scene in 2012, he starts to date a huge North American star - Taylor Swift.  Stories go around, allegedly, that Swift couldn’t trust Harry’s womanizing temptations.  Again, this only further adds to his appeal.

Note of worth:
When a high profile celebrity gets either dumped by a woman or he dumps a woman, this has only an advantageous effect on how the majority of regular women view him.  A man’s status allows much leeway, and if dumped, a woman looking on has positive emotional sympathy for him in pin-pointing all blame on the partner who left him.  If he was the one who dumped the woman, an onlooker only further admires him due to assumption he has other pursuits who distracted his interest and loyalty.
On the other hand, a regular man is looked upon with more negative pity if he is dumped.  Sure, people will feel sorry for him, but in the sexual market context they will think she left him because there were better options out there for her.  If he is the one who jettisons, it can go either way.  Some women look upon this as a man who has options, and they see him with enhanced attraction.  But if he has a reputation for dumping many women, and he has very good looks to back this up, a high percentage of women will stay away due to their thoughts he would do the same to them.     

Now I wouldn’t usually use a celebrity or fame situation as an example of how female emotional psychology works in the modern day world.  This is, in the main, because women will almost always oversee a perennial shortcoming or deficiency in a man if he attained extreme high status or fame.  They would also happily take oversight of their own egoism, trust and insecurity issues – hence being with a man of equal or greater physical attractiveness – if it meant being alongside a male of high profile.  But in this case I make an exception, because what Harry achieved would also be successful in the “real world” too.  Simply put, women love men who other women are attracted to.  It’s like an epidemic, and as Harry proved it can hurdle a man over his rivals of similar looks and status.  So if a man hears a woman making comments along the lines of how she dreams to be with a man who is loyal to her all the time, who would never flirt with other women and who she knows could never be unfaithful to her (in other words, he is incapable of being unfaithful because no other woman wants him), he would be wise in concluding to the following:

  • She is lying
  • Because she is a low-calibre (hence physically unattractive) woman who couldn’t acquire a popular man, she convinces herself that an unwanted man is her ideal mate.  However, remember if she was actually more attractive she would change her true thoughts and actions.
  • She is of amplified insecure nature, irrespective to how ugly or pretty she is.  She still finds popular men attractive, but her unbelievably low confidence reluctantly sways her away from them and towards men with less popularity and admiration from other women.

However, there is a discrete but important note to take when considering the benefits of pre-selection.  Note how Harry undertook none of this pre-selection himself.  There was no self-promotion or verbal exploitation on his behalf, and it was all done via external sources.  This is exactly the same consideration in the real world.  Therefore, do not think it is wise to walk into the office on a Monday morning with concocted stories of numerous women falling over you during the weekend.  Most women will laugh in pity to this crop of shite.  When it comes to pre-selection and the consequent attraction it brings, one third-party assumption or promotion is worth a hundred self-compliments.

Side note 1:
Records actually show Niall is taking over from Harry as the most popular member of 1D in the eyes of American girls.  They say this is a combinational lure of his cute Irish accent and blonde hair.   Men reading this may be scratching their heads because they probably think the same as me – he is the least physically attractive of the group.  But remember the female mind works different to the male likewise thinking in the inverse situation.  Men view their predilections on a fundamental sexual thought, which is only later accompanied by her girlfriend material credentials.  They will say it how they see.  On the other hand, women have the same private instinctive sexual thoughts, but not many of them say this in words.  A woman is far more prone to promote a man who is attainable (lower) to her own looks grade, and de-leverage the men who are perhaps too close (higher) to how she rates herself.

Side note 2:
Pre-selection for men is such a powerful tool that it can even be illustrated in the frequency of women taking back jerks who have cheated on them.  Rest assured, for every woman who broadcasts she has dumped the jerk who cheated on her or treated her badly, there is another woman who is sending him messages of forgiveness and requests to meet up.  Why do women take back men who have cheated on them?  Probably the main reason will be down to the fact, despite her broken heart, that he has proved another woman vies for his love.  If she can grasp him back, she wins the emotional game from the other woman.  Is this beginning to sound familiar?  Sometimes, with many women, a cheating but validated man is worth a thousand times that of a loyal and faithful (but unwanted) nice guy.


  1. Zayn,Louis,Niall,Harry,Liam in order of cuteness

  2. “And I’ll be long gone tonite…that’s’ what makes you beeeeuutiful….
    Vi nay wud neva hav put ya down as a OD fan!!!

  3. Theyre no ladies men.
    Who’s da number 1, u know who! Sweet C

  4. Finally, he’s coming out

  5. Like anything, there will be divided opinion on the subject of the female mind being attracted to taken men. A thorough past study suggests single women prefer them, whilst it has little bearing either way with women in relationships. As always, viewing what women do will lead to more accurate conclusions as opposed to listening to what they say.

  6. He talks crap so wouldn’t believe a thing he comes out with

  7. That much crap you keep coming back for more (assumption: you’re a woman). Sounds familiar, right?

  8. Yes, and I only keep coming back to laugh at the pathetic and sad things you come up with

  9. Not to mention being a sexist pig who was obviously hurt by someone in the past so you feel the need to diss women all the time. Loooossssseeeerrrrr!!!!!!!!!

  10. The truth isn’t on this blog

  11. So you come on here to have a laugh.Yeah, right, just another woman frightened of the thought men have worked many women out

  12. Women just get more delusional when real life is thrown at them. It’s their way of handling with their crappy minds

  13. But back to the actual post….my recollection (didn’t see much that year) is Harry was the cocky one out of all five. The others seemed shy. His attitude would have appealed to young girls and older women too. In fact didn’t a Granny in the states propose to him

  14. “Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain
    I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days”