“One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”
Have you ever stopped to wonder, whether you’re a man or a woman, which season of the year your previous medium and long term relationships commenced? What about your current relationship? Now compare this with your shorter term sexual conquests. My guess is, like me, the greater number of extended duration bonds will have involved meeting that person in the late autumn or winter. Likewise, I would expect a large percentage of short flings or one night stands belong to the times during the warmer months. This is more than a coincidence.
I’m not going to get into the northern/southern hemisphere differentials here – because this does have an impact on the reasons I will give. For the purpose of this post, I will take it from the basis of a traditional northern hemisphere dynamic. I welcome any reader who lives in the impending warmer climes of months to come to give me their take on the contrasts.
First of all, let’s put a fundamental in place. In majority cases, women are more relationship processed whilst men are sex hungry creatures. Crossovers exist, as a woman will have every bit of urge for sex with a rare good looking man who possesses raw male power and an attitude to match. Occasional men may place priority to comforts in the benefits of relationship conversations, snuggles and viewing of films on the sofa. This often is determined on the age he is at or, more likely, his limited assumed options. But taken over millions of women and men, the former focus more on the security and feeling of a relationship, as the latter place optimum desires on the intimate favours she can produce to relinquish his needs. The reason a high number of men do settle down earlier than they would perhaps prefer is because they believe they can do no better than what they have found. If they had a crystal ball showing them future potentials, they would bide their time. The same can definitely be said in this respect for most women too.
Nevertheless, once the home truths are out of the way, seasons can change the mentality of how inclined people are towards the status of no longer being single. For those who have experienced the University life, knowledge will be there to how the term start and finish dates almost ironically align with the choppy ways young students change their relationship type predilections. When August or September strikes, fresher parties, warm weather and new hope amalgamate to create plotting cads and eager girls to, let’s just say, experiment with their credentials. I’m not one to look back, but I don’t half recall those days fondly. But then as the nights become colder and darker, a leaning to nights in with that sole person takes on a little more purpose for both genders alike. As spring brings inspiration of brighter days, and a finishing post with goodbyes to come is not too far away, the old habits take an imperceptible return to the beginning.
Not that this cycle is only confined to higher education students. It never misses my attention how you will see many cute women and scattered hot women out on Saturday nights from the late spring and all the way through to early October. Before the clocks have gone back they are not to be seen. Outside of clued up astute men who have as much relative physical allure as these women, or they hold down a local status/popularity reputation, women at these ages - typically 17 to 23 - have the power at their disposal. When they want to go girl party crazy and maximize their glamour by the display of fake tan and mini-skirts, this is exactly what they will do. As the tan (real or fake) starts to fade, the bite of cold on those pale legs hurts that bit more, and an external validation of importance itches away at them, the requirement of a boyfriend now has its value. Young men – average, naïve and supplicated as the lion’s share are – will happily oblige with no hesitation to it being on her agenda. He is just the puppet to the strings she pulls. Women, especially the most physically attractive ones, hold the power at this young age with 90% of men. It’s ironic how they actually want to be with the other 10%.
In addition to the commencement of winter is also the prospect of Christmas. As each member of the girl group starts to locate a happy male taker, the others feel that little more isolated. Christmas can be a long time to be alone, whether a young student or a post 23 year old working woman, and it never escapes my peripheral vision that a certain woman can be seen with a more conservative, but maybe less edgy, guy come December. And there is always the added bonus of his gratitude to be with her in the form of overspent presents from Santa Claus.
So Christmas passes, but February is never far away. Valentine’s Day is also not a milestone of the year when a woman takes kindly in being single. As her friends show off their roses, teddy bears or photos from expensive meals, another woman is vowing to not be the spectator this time next year who is sporting that grimacing smile of happiness for her friend or colleague. Again, the millions of nice guys have blinkered eyes to the real intentions.
Men’s perceptions of seasonal adjustments are a little easier to establish. As over 80% of men are ecstatic just to find a willing woman who sees his value, the day of the year he tracks her down is of little relevance. However, there are a reasonable number of young men – typically 18 to 22 – who place high priority in the year to the annual “lads” summer holiday. Many of them are there because they have no other option (hence, they would prefer to be with a girlfriend but can’t find one), but some are there due to the choice in taking advantage of their youth. This is why men also view relationships as less critical when the skies are clear and the breeze is warm. Also, when women look their best on summer nights in showing the most flesh to suit, the compulsions for a no frills lay will give off greater pleasure than with the same woman wearing jeans and a long coat on New Year’s Eve. Simply put, men’s libido levels are higher when it’s hotter. Although not as focused on the benefits of winter collaboration for long term relationships as women, the subconscious part of the male mind is likely to take him there.
So over time, it becomes clearer and more explainable to this once curious happening. It satisfies both sexes, for differing motivations, to go short haul in the summer and long haul in the winter. We’re just not consciously aware of it at the time.