Tuesday 19 January 2021

Women’s conundrum: To love thy man or to love thy self?


“Let the things you love be an escape.”


It is a topic that even I don’t go many days without asking myself.  The topic is both, one could argue, simplistic and complex to analyse in equal measures.  

Is the bigger priority for a woman to be passionately into the man she is with and place priority on the way she feels about him, or is the greater motivation to be with a man who makes her feel better about herself?  Of course, I know the answer in majority cases, but it is always worth exploring further. 

Rarely can a man, no matter who he is, satisfy both elements.  This previous post, in my humble opinion, did a reasonable attempt to illustrate how women will prioritize when choosing their male partners.   

First, allow me to distinguish between the two:

1)    The woman led by her heart

A woman led by her heart is a woman who chooses a man based on her sexual inclinations and who makes her heart beat faster in the thought of seeing him.  Her ego, trust, insecurity and self-conscious issues are put to one side in preference for the passion, positive emotions and feeling alive internal feedback loop that he brings to her existence. 

These men will nearly always belong to the high spectrum of male physical attractiveness.  Nevertheless, this doesn’t always mean that the man is as or more physically attractive than said woman.  For example, an 8.5/10 woman could feel this way with an 8/10 man (although you will rarely see an 8.5/10 woman with an 8/10 man).

As much as movies and TV programmes can stray from reality, the one consistent truth they do come up with is the way they are written to emphasize how a woman deep down desires the man who captures her heart and makes her feel alive.  What movies do not do, very well or often, is finalize how woman essentially choose a man based on other emotions.

It is important to clarify that these women, in general terms, make up a maximum 20% of the female population.

2)    The woman led by her ego

A woman led by her ego is effectively the polar opposite of woman 1.  Her bigger motives are to satisfy her ego and self-importance.  She tries to cloud over her low confidence, high insecurity and high self-consciousness by being with lower sought-after men than she could actually be with.  In essence, her objective is to feel better about herself over and above the passion and sexual thoughts she attains which are projected onto other men who arouse her more.

The men she finds herself with (granted, some women will occasionally have one spell acting as woman 1 just to almost convince herself she isn’t as weak as she knows she is) will be lesser looking than her.  The greater the physical attractiveness disparity between the two, the more she epitomizes being this woman. 

On a large percentage basis, this man isn’t only isolated in being less physically attractive than her.  She will often pick out a man, in conjunction with his lesser looks, who is also not breaking any barriers in terms of profession, social status or confidence/attitude.  Why?  This is because she needs a man to idolize her, kiss her rosy ass, and worship the ground she walks on.  A man who has less to offer women – both in visual and non-visual terms – is far more likely to perform this lapdog male delivery.

Of course, women aren’t aroused by these men – either in physical or other male offering capacity – because deep down in their honest and natural veins, a woman craves to be with a man who other women find extremely attractive and appealing.  In her innate make-up, she wants to fight amongst other women and, in the end, be the one who captures him.  

Unfortunately, this woman goes against her natural and inborn passions to ultimately replace it with feeling better about herself.  At best, she can be content.  At worst and usually, she will resent him over time and find a way to leave him should a better opportunity come along.

These women represent at least 80% of the female population.

Caveats to above

There are always exceptions to the rule, and in this case, there are worthwhile caveats or nuances to explain.

·       Women between the age of 16 to 23 will exist in larger percentage terms (I’d estimate a +20% to woman 1 as shown above, therefore the majority still belong to woman 2) to woman 1 compartment.  This is because women at a younger age place greater emphasis on male hotness, and at that age male hotness acts as a more magnified degree of high male social status than it does in relation to when women (and men) get older.

·       Women between the age of 24 to 32 most reflect the lower range percentage illustrations given above – therefore 10% being woman 1, and 90% being woman 2.  Women between these ages are the most likely in holding predilections to be with man who is less physically attractive than her, although it is only fair to say that at between this age bracket women are also at their highest in respect to their demands and expectations from men (hence mainly what he can provide for her on a monetary and assets basis).

·       Women post 32, in particular divorcees or/and women who have become bored performing the role as woman 2, will belong to woman 1 status in a greater percentage level than her former self aged between 24 and 32.  For one, women’s egos and expectations have usually hit some form of reality at this age, and they aren’t seeking out the uglier man who has can provide her with the big house and car etc.  Second, women have become so bored in being with a man who doesn’t (and most likely never did) turn her heart and sexual impulses on that she now, even if only for a short timeframe, wants a bit of rough and ready who makes her feel like living once more.  Third, as many of these women will have already experienced the wedding day and motherhood, they have less to lose by being unfaithful and not following their hearts.  With all this in mind, women post 32 can pretty much be split 50/50. 

A final thought

It is important to point out that most women have no choice but to carry out being woman 2, irrespective of what her choice is, because most women aren’t physically attractive enough to attract the low percentage (<10%) of men who can perform the role that satisfies woman.  Nevertheless, there are still at least 50 times as many women who could attract these men than men who exist (in other words, there are >5 times more hot women and >50 times more cute women than every one of these men), but this isn’t common to women who take this opportunity.  In numbers terms, if there are 5 hot woman and 50 cute women for every one man who flutters their heart, there may only be 5 (out of the 55) women who are willing to put their heart ahead of their ego.

On this basis, it equates to twice as many of these men on the market than hot women who would be prepared to give said hot man a chance.  Most of these hot women – even if willing – will already have boyfriends they will stay loyal to.  This goes a long way to explain why you rarely see a hot man walking hand in hand with a hot woman.

Furthermore, it exemplifies why most of the best-looking men are either (mainly) single or (less so) with cute women as opposed to hot women.


A woman’s ego and heart/sexual impulses act as an opposing force in a simultaneous life.  When one is satisfied, the other is left in disappointment.  More often than not, the heart is the item left disappointed. 



  1. I am surprised the 16-23 bracket isn't higher for woman 1. I would have expected 60-70%. But looking back on my personal experience the most obvious signs were/are from women in their 30s.

    I had a few questions for you somewhat related to this topic.

    I notice generally, older/uglier/heavier women seem more likely to appreciate a man's physical looks (or at least be more vocal about it) than highly attractive or even above average looking women.
    Is it because of

    a) Do older/uglier/ heavier women have less to lose and more to gain by catching the guy than the attractive girl so they can "swing for the fences"? Ala your post about an ugly girl with 50/1 odds as opposed to an attractive girl with 2/1 odds betting on the horse.

    b) Because the older/uglier/women have had less butt kissing from men throughout their lives they have less of an ego and are more secure (relatively speaking) compared to the attractive women?

    c) It's a massive ego boost to the older/uglier/heavier woman to land a good looking guy, so they will work to reel him in and make it very easy for him?

    d) They truly value male physical looks more than the attractive woman?

    Your post was very thought provoking and really made me sit down and think. If you listen to all these red pill/black pill pundits, and take what they say as fact, you'd assume the girls in the age bracket 16-23, 90% - 95% would be woman 1 and clearly that is not the case.