Thursday 6 August 2020

Detecting how a woman isn’t interested in you and the distinctions in female and male rejection

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere
and endure strength in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”
(Christopher Reeve)

This post kind of covers two topics, but the two most certainly entwine in trend and habit.

The various ways you can sense a woman isn’t going to take things further with you are:

1) She never looked at you in the first place, most likely not even noticing you were there,           and when you approach, she offers nothing or very little back in conversation.
2) She never looked at you, and she barely even acknowledges you (or she even blanks           you) when you interact with her.
3) She looked at you, but she barely acknowledges you when approached.
4) She looked at you, she does acknowledge you and interact when approached, but the           conversation is all one way and about her life.  She asks you nothing about yourself in             return.

You could even add a fifth possibility where she is absolutely comfortable and fully interactive with you when approached, almost to the point where she doesn’t want the conversation to end.  This is a grey area, because I find that the majority of these cases are when the woman has already friend zoned the man and has no intention whatsoever to accept his emotional advances, and she is just using him as an ego boost moment to talk about herself.  Nevertheless, I exclude this scenario because there will still be a decent percentage of women who do take things further with these men – men who make them feel better about herself and life – even though there is little sexual chemistry or passion on her part onto him.

Keep in mind 3) and 4) from the above, as we move onto the next topic.

When would men reject women?

To set the parameters first, the truth is only a tiny percentage of women put themselves in a direct vulnerability position to be rejected by a man.  Their prides are too fragile and egos too robust to encounter such an experience.  Those women who do possess more fortitude will manipulate this interaction in more discrete measures than directly asking a man out, and they will often do it with safer bets (hence a man she knows would be grateful to be with her).  A tiny percentage (I’d estimate <2%) of women will be more direct with their advances, and also with men who on paper are above them in sought after level with the opposite sex in gender relative terms.

With all that said, on the rare occasions a man is asked out by a woman, these are (with isolated exceptions) the two reasons he will reject.
  • He simply doesn’t find her sexually attractive at all, even to the point of a one-night stand cheap lay or a short-term fling.  The vast majority of men will still be gentle and kind in their rejection manner.
  • He does find her physically and sexually attractive (btw, there is a difference between the two), however he is a loyal and faithful boyfriend/husband to his current partner.  Again, his rejection will be benign.

When would women reject men?

Women follow a similar pattern with the male rejection delivery, but there are a few more reasons that totally separate and explain how the two genders differ entirely regarding this matter.
  • She doesn’t find him attractive or appealing in any sense – physically or in a nonphysical attractiveness offering way – irrespective to whether she has a male partner or not.  In most cases with most women, she will be appreciative of his invite and apologetic (albeit not always sincerely) in her decline.  This process will represent most scenarios in women rejecting men.
  • She does find him sexually and physically attractive, in addition to him being appealing as an overall potential boyfriend, but she rejects him based on staying loyal and faithful to her current man.
  •  She doesn’t have a male partner, and she does find the man who approaches her sexually and physically attractive.  However, unlike a man who, in this case, simply will only base his choice to move things forward on his attraction onto her, a woman may often reject a man in this situation because her perception or knowledge of him doesn’t tick enough boxes in the none physical way.  Maybe she has seen his car which isn’t up to her standards?  Perhaps he still lives with his parents in his late 20’s or 30’s.
  • She doesn’t have a male partner.  She does find the man who approaches her sexually and physically attractive, and she doesn’t know any more about him to know whether he is suitable long-term material or not.  However, because he is more physically attractive than her, she will reject him based on her insecurity and egoism measures.  This doesn’t happen very often in overall percentage terms because the average looks grade for a woman aged 18 to 35 is higher than the mean looks grade for a man aged 18 to 35,  However, as a percentage basis on this scenario alone, the rejection outcome will outweigh the acceptance outcome by some margin.
  • She does find him sexually and physically attractive.  When he approaches her, it is clear he has a good degree of personality, charisma and intelligence.  She attains knowledge of him that he holds down a good job and career potential, he is a homeowner, and on paper he has a lot going for him.  Where is the spanner in the works?  Simply put, she doesn’t feel good enough for him, so she will try and flip the script in finding rationalisations that it couldn’t work, he would be poor boyfriend material, or even that she is too good for him (which can often be devised in a cute or hot woman’s mind such is the plaudits and attention she receives from less sought after men).  Again, this kind of rejection is remote based on such a small percentage of men representing the man as explained in this instance, but make no mistake that in these low occurring scenarios a high percentage of women will still reject.  This relevance is magnified if he is more physically attractive than her.

There is one scenario which would kill the theory to the final bullet point.  If a man held high social status on a local basis, or in much rarer cases he was famous on a national basis, women would accept more than they would reject.  Add on extreme wealth, and it is all the more pertinent.  In simple explanation, if a woman has a lot to gain from elevating her self-importance and popularity, in conjunction with bettering her life from the high economical resources, these benefits shoot down the irritable bubbles she has inside that tell her he is better looking than her and he is too high maintenance.  Every woman has her price, so to speak.

And that’s why you wouldn’t find the likes of Enrique Iglesias or Cristiano Ronaldo ever short of a female suitress or two….! 


  1. in your opinion what percentage of girls would reject a guy just because he is very handsome

  2. Outside of high social status/fame I assume you mean, just for clarity. When I started this blog I always subscribed to 80% to 90% of women would reject a very handsome man. Nearly seven years later, I'd confidently and comfortably say that is much nearer to the 90% than 80%.

    Of course the above is on a wholesale and general basis. Women who are 7.5/10 to 8.75/10 are more likely to reject said handsome man than women <7.5 or >8.75. A woman with a kid (hence baggage) may not be so hasty to decline a handsome man's advances - providing he has a level of dependency and other non-visual attributes - than an equivalent woman without a child. A rare hot confident woman will be more willing than the usual woman basked in insecurity and high egoism. A (very rare) woman who has stronger inclination to satisfy her heart before her ego will also be more forthcoming.

    But by and large, the 85% to 90% percentage figure is where I stand.

  3. then in your opinion how should a guy like that approach the dating game.

    1. Very naturally and humbly... Humbly: the very handsome man's sarcasm and teasing insults/jokes strikes a harder blow to a women's ego and self-esteem. Naturally: speak to the woman about generic topics such as her work, her school, etc, and sneak in a slight smile; and then, extract the number because your face has done 80% of the heavy lifting for you.... all you have to do is not turn her off with peculiar mannerisms, needy behaviour, or corny phraseology(similar to Steve Urkel)- got it? GOOD!

    2. The above comment sums it up perfectly.

      It can never be stressed enough that the better looking a man is and confident he comes across, the more insecure and uncomfortable a woman will feel when with or near him.
      The opposite kind of applies, but only to a point and with nuances. The more average looking a man is, the more comfortable and at ease with herself will a woman feel. This doesn't always mean of course every woman will drop her pants for an average looking man who makes her feel better about herself, but it is a good starting point.
      Once a man starts to fall below the curve of average in physical looks, it almost goes 360 (unless the woman is below average looking herself). In other words, what made a woman feel at unease with the handsome man also makes a woman feel uncomfortable talking to an ugly man. In the modern world - with the obsession of worrying what the world thinks of them - women will stray away from talking to a lot of uglier/below average men in order to keep her street cred up.

      When all said and done, being average to above average for a man offers the best chance to score the cutest and hottest women respectively, all else equal. The hotter a woman is, the greater her chances are to secure the highest calibre man.