"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss,
you'll land among the stars."
(Norman Vincent Peale)
It was Friday 23rd December 2016, and a rare occasion when
my managing director said we could depart a few hours earlier than the usual
grinding working day. In truth, it didn't bother me one way or the
other, but I took advantage of the extra time to seek out the last minute
Christmas presents for family members.
I went into a small town called Loughborough, simply because
it is the closest shopping centre to my work location.
Loughborough attains the typical British small town mentality from a
native's perspective, but I have to say that due to the high population of
university students (it is the number one UK college for sport education),
there aren't half some nice sights during academic season days. It
reminds me of Kent State in north-east Ohio, somewhere I visited back in
October. Unfortunately due to the Christmas break, this particular
day did not belong to the usual female eye candy on offering.
There is only one department store of note, and after a few
minutes downstairs I went to the upper level and along the far end wall.
In other words, my peripheral vision was only at the men's socks. No
passers by could be seen. I then heard a voice from behind say to me,
"Excuse me, do you know where the headphones are?" I looked
behind me to see a woman who looked in her late 40s. With the
greatest respect, she looked exactly like you would expect a woman in her late
40s to be. Before I even had chance to answer, she added, "Are they
upstairs or downstairs." After a couple of seconds pause, I
replied, "I can't be sure, but my guess is downstairs." I
didn't have a clue where they were, but I had enough on the spot brain
cells to live in hope that this was a hint for her to leave without
delay. Her final words were, "Ok, I'll keep looking."
An easy self-doubting moment
A less smart man, and I would include myself from many years
ago in this category, could have resigned himself into a puddle of self-doubt
from this passing situation in his life. Once a less clued up
man passes 30 years of age, it can be an easy assumed belief
or external brain-washed attempt (by both the media and jealous tied
down friends with no options) that younger women, and even a fair share of
women his own age, no longer find him attractive. They will also try
cunningly to sway men in the direction of older women, desperately
promoting how these more "mature" women offer greater personality,
stability, maturity and enjoyable company that younger women cannot
supply. In a lot of cases, they are right, however these hidden agenda
mindset people conveniently disregard what men, and especially men with
options, desire ahead of all the aforementioned "qualities". As
if it needs saying, but it can never be said enough - this is female youth and
physical beauty.
For a few seconds via the event, even I scratched my head in
assessing what the hell had just happened. Was it an illusion!?
Then I only had to recollect a night out from the previous Saturday in my home
city of Derby to know that inundated women aged from late teens
up to early 50s were giving me bed eyes and pretty much validation that I'm,
objectively and visually if nothing else, a decent catch. Don't get me
wrong, and in the case of the younger group (in particular women aged 24 to
early 30s, but some younger too), this doesn't mean that every one of them
will take it further with me. Far from it. Female egos, insecurities,
confidence and trust issues make sure of this. But, from a
standpoint of visuals only, it proved what someone had told me many
years ago.
The male sweet spot age
I always remember a gym buddy of mine, who had not long
turned 30, telling me experiences from the last year of his life with
women. He mentioned how, once he reaches his late 20s to early
30s, a man is at his physical peak in terms of attracting women on
the isolated visuals. This isn't even going into how men should be
elevating their earnings, status, assets, confidence and attitude in concurrent
running time. What this manifests in real life motion is female eyes from
all age corners projecting onto him. Younger women see a physical
specimen that has fully blossomed from the perhaps once boyish (but
too clean) appearance, and older women feel he is now physically and
mentally mature enough to be alongside them. In the
case of the latter, this is just deluded wishful thinking, with little
appreciation to what the man himself wants.
So I would recommend to any man to take advantage of this
stage in his life. Too many men take the normal path that is to settle
down in their 20s with the first decent woman who will have him, only to
later regret not taking a back seat. Once in his 30s, this
exampled man never reaches his physical appearance peak such is the fact he
got lazy, haggard and fat due to poor diet, a lack of exercise and
sleep, and becoming too stressed with the provisioning husband and father role.
If you ever see this man, absent of his wife, get crazy, drunk, and
over-excitable at the Christmas party, you will know exactly why. He
is trying to make up for the life predicament he finds himself in.
The female comparison
On the other hand, women peak far earlier in physical
impressiveness terms. The largest share (I'd estimate 70%) of women look
their best between 18 to 23. A smaller percentage (20%) of them peak
between 24 to 28, with the majority being at the younger scale of
this five year range. This leave a glass half full 10% who can look
just as good at 29 or early 30s, but don't expect this to be too many you see
in your life, and furthermore, don't be surprised to see a steeper ageing
decline once the 30th birthday has been celebrated.
This will explain why nights out are top heavy in women aged
18 to 23, and women aged in excess of 35. The young bracket are
maximizing their sexual worth, and the by-product attention received from all
men - but mainly loser or mediocre man. The older bracket are mostly
divorcees who left their boring husbands or, in fewer cases, whose higher
calibre husbands left them for a younger female rival, and they live
in vain hope that they can still attract the same men from their
younger self of 10 or more years ago. Life just doesn't work
this way.
This leaves the middle bracket of women aged 24 to early 30s
who you don't see as frequently in bars or clubs, but who
you are more prevalent to observe in the restaurants along the same
street with their male partners or in mixed groups. You may also see
these women in female group gatherings over Sunday morning breakfast
tables. In simple terms, women from 24 up to the late 20s/early 30s have
given up on the bar scene for two main reasons. First, they have become
uncomfortable with younger, fresher and hotter women in their faces.
Second, they have tracked down a beta male (or in rare occasions, an
alpha male) who will commit to them while their physical pinnacle is still
hanging by a thread.
In summary, I offer you a 4-stage pattern of where
women fall into depending on age:
- Women aged 18
to 23 fall into two categories. There are those who
are more interested in the receiving of eye contact and direct
attention from men, and they are seen on nights out regularly. Finding
a quality man (aka the biggest well known jerk or local high status
man) is an objective, but it is a secondary motivation to the "Me,
me, me" good time feeling. Many of these women place
maximum emphasis on a man's physical attractiveness. However,
there are also as many women in this age bracket who prefer, or at least
are more comfortable in, DVD nights and cinema outings with their
boyfriend. Usually, this boyfriend is just a run of the mill looking
guy who is not desired by many other women, and a bit of a lapdog.
- Women aged 24
to late 20s/early 30s are in the settling down phase. They
are just as intrinsically hungry for sexual optimization and male
physical attractiveness as their younger self, and they also still take
fondly to male attention and compliments, but as they are aware the days
are ticking to find the best male proposition, it takes on a lower
priority than a ring on her finger, a wedding day to plan and, if not
totally repulsed by him, an impending motherhood role.
- Women aged 35
to 39 split into three categories. First, there
are those still (less so) happily married or (more so) married with
content feelings towards her husband. These women don't go out
much. Second, there are the divorcees, separated, or cheating women.
They are on the look out and trying to make up for lost time based on
previous poor choices. Third, there are the never married women who
may have lost front-minded hope of meeting "the one", but still
live in dreamland that their day will arrive. It rarely does,
without settling for far less than the movie she watched last night.
- Women aged 40 or
older have most likely given up all hope of finding a quality man to
commit to them - at all or again. They have probably, in some shape
or form, lived in all three phases as highlighted above. To make
life that little bit less damaging to the ego, some of them will sleep
with low calibre younger men – in allowing her mind to vainly believe she
is still attractive due to younger men sleeping with her. Some of
these younger male losers may even commit to her. Nevertheless, more
likely is the scenario where she tracks down a man 10 or more years older
than her. She isn't into him physically, but the life he can give
her - both economically and in companion terms - is better than spending
weekends alone.
And finally....
At the risk of blowing my own trumpet, I couldn't help but
ponder what the woman in the department store actually thinks, or what she
thought might happen, as she strolled up towards me. Over the last
few years I've visited many cities in many countries, and noticed how I strike
the attention of women belonging to all ethnicities, nationalities, cultures,
skin colours and religions. When time has allowed, sexual encounters
have developed with some of them. I get just as much back home in the UK,
albeit often with that touch more hostility and jealousy. I'm an honest
and objective guy who knows the best life is ascertained from a mind that
lives in reality, so I'd be doing myself no justice or good service at all if
these comments are born out of fallacy to make myself feel better about
things. Ultimately, it is the truth.
This can only mean one of two things. Either I am a
top end good looking man, or these women who look at me are also looking at
most other men. The latter cannot be dismissed, but once more living in
the real world, it is highly unlikely.
So in summary, does this woman have an all guns blazing
thought process in shooting for the moon, perhaps in a way that is accustomed more
to how men aspire (although this is still a tiny minority of men who do hit on
much hotter women)? If so, I can only applaud her, especially if she
takes the perspective route that focuses on the possibilities, no matter how
remote, and not the outcome. This is the attitude I like and adhere
to.
On the other hand, I don't know many women who can take
rejection in its true context and not go running for the trenches in
the aftermath of despair. After all, this is why 99%
of women, no matter how desperate they are for love, do not approach
men. The arrogant among them will tell you they don't approach men
because they don't need to, and they have a point. Such is the vast
numbers of low quality, horny and desperate men that, up until the female of
approximately mid 30s, there will always be more desirable women than sought
after men. But the honest among women will tell you exactly
why they don't approach men they don't know on a personal level,
or men who are on their physical attractiveness level or
greater. Their egos and prides couldn't take the cold feeling of a
potential rejection.
Vinay:)
ReplyDelete...one other great post,indeed! most what I like about them is the ,,quotes,, you put before every post!
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
(Norman Vincent Peale)
By the way..forgot to ask you?...what drives you so much in keeping explaining to readers about this topic(blue/red pill?)
Are you the,,good samaritan...or is something you still want to figure by yourself?
Just was curious?
Happy new year!
Danny boy;)
Hi mate. Thanks for the comment and glad you like the post. Quotes have always been a big thing for me, and I think anyone can take something out of them. I first got into to them during my blue pill days when watching One Tree Hill alongside ex-girlfriends.
DeleteAnd I guess this kind of answers the second part... I'm not too proud to face up to my pas mistakes with women, in realizing how much better and knowledgeable I am now. As a good guy, and former too nice guy, I held strong desires to give some of this experience and knowledge back to those still scratching their heads. It's an education I feel obliged to pass onto my fellow men!
I'm 29 and this was the year I received more IOIs and compliments about my looks. Mark Manson said men looks peak at 31. Do you agree?
ReplyDeleteDoesn't surprise me one bit. I would tend to think men who look after themselves peak from 28 to 33 in physical attractiveness terms. That's 10 years later than the equivalent female age span.
DeleteIn fact men who choose a smart life will take this peak period into their mid/late 30s and, rarer, early 40s.
So yes, I agree that the majority of men - who look after their lifestyle - peak at around 31. The ageing process hasn't yet kicked in, whilst the body has pretty much fully developed.
What I would say though is most men's looks don't peak at 31. This is because most men don't look after themselves, they let their physique go once meeting a half-decent woman, or they take on the high-stress life of being a husband, father or/and provider. These factors prevent maximizing their pinnacle look. With this in mind, you will find most men look their best in the mid 20s.
Vinay, I have always appreciated your perspective and very British wit in writing about these particular dynamics.
ReplyDeleteI should hope you haven't quit this.