The perfect man in a woman’s eyes: part 1

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

William Shakespeare, English dramatist & poet (1564-1616)

As this was the final chapter to the manuscript, The perfect man in a woman’s eyes will be issued in three parts.  It will be sub-divided to include many of the topics within this blog, in manifested process to bring out what could be seen as a woman’s ideal male partner:

Introduction

The perfect man to a woman will always be contested by not only the female race of the world, but also the male population fighting their own biased corner.  In fact, it would be a fair remonstration to state that no man on the planet is perfect. 

There will never be an absolute general consensus to a woman’s preference, and even with the most vigilant and widespread research, female answers to the criteria required in a man may change depending on their current moods at that time, their recent emotional experiences, their necessity to protect their ego, and their general honesty as a people.  Some women prioritize a man’s physical appearance, although this is far fewer than many people, specifically men, believe to be the case.  A percentage of them will aspire to belong to a wealthy man, whether they confess to this or not.  A proportion of women seek a man high in personality, charisma, status, or a combination of all three, and whilst the latter can often go hand in hand with wealth, this isn’t always the case.  Other women will view long term relationship emphasis with a man in terms of how it makes her feel in herself - these often being the insecure or low self-confidence females.  However, outside of fame, the celebrity bubble or the land of reality television fantasy - as fame will conquer above all other metrics in terms of immediate attraction - a woman will assess and evaluate all factors, and in result she will produce a vision of her “perfect man”.

Male physical attractiveness and stature

Looks are far from everything, and people will refer to this phrase all the time.  Nothing reflects this more than a woman’s usual preference in the level of a man’s physical attractiveness.  Women view a man’s physical appearance in a different light to the comparable way men focus on women in this regard, and an 8/10 physically rated woman will feel more comfortable with a man who is judged to be 6.5/10 to 7/10 in relativity by external sources and in her own opinion.  This trend continues up or down the female physical attractiveness scale, and a woman will typically seek to find a man who is 10% to 15% less eye catching than she is.  The physical attractiveness rating as stated is an indication to a woman’s most appealing look.  A woman’s average look – the average of her morning, day time and most glamorous rating – will be less than this.  With the exception of a hangover, a man’s visual average look is so negligible that it is a difference of kind consideration in contrast to a woman.  With this in mind, and with a self-complex of men viewing her when she is not looking her best, a woman’s inclination is for her man to be above average looking but not stunning, and he is attractive in an attainable sense without being just a “run of the mill” guy.  Whenever you hear a woman verbalize about a man being visually appealing, but he may not appear that way to the majority of the objective public, more often than not this is her way of saying he is within her comfort zone level of physical allure.  This possible glib female statement can even apply to celebrity status males, when complimenting a more rugged looking man over one with perhaps more striking features. 

Her ideal man is taller than her by at least three inches, as this gives her a feeling of security and safety.  Although not a deal-breaker by not having one, in this day and age a tattoo will offer him a perception of edginess in her eyes.  Whilst she doesn’t like to admit he is a bad boy in character terms, this tattoo will allow her to believe he isn’t one of the inundated nice guys that women say they need but know they don’t truly want.  He has a scent of smell that oozes attraction from females of all ages, and it is almost as if he has located an eau de toilette never worn by another man.

Age

The age gap between the two of them is only as relative to the mental maturity they possess and the life experience each one has been through.  However, the most compatible age range would involve the man being older.  This differential usually stands up in real life: men are mentally immature for their age, whilst women are mentally more developed.  In addition to this, but equally as important, women seek commitment at an earlier age in general terms.  This is mainly true because a woman’s sexual market value will often decline at the same life stage as a man’s sexual market value ascends. 

The reality behind this view is that at the age of approximately 25, most men still (as they have done prior to this age) place priority on female physical appeal – when many women have already reached their peak in physical beauty.  In contrast, most women at this same age place a man’s visual impressiveness as far less of a requirement in the whole scheme of things, and they are more interested in his other measurements like personality, charisma, resources and status.  Men’s value in this respect, with exceptions, will increase from this age and onwards.  This acknowledgement of sexual obsolescence, combined with knowledge of male improvements in the none physical metrics that contribute to partner suitability, combine as a subconscious trigger in a woman’s mind to locate a man who is willing to commit to her sooner rather than later.  With all this in mind, a typical age for a 25 year old woman’s perfect man would be 32.  This isn’t to say a woman would prefer to be with a man 7 years older than her, but the simple inevitability is that her ideal male candidate - who ticks the most boxes - would be a good few years older.

Profession

This man will have a profession that rewards in a good level of disposable income for both of them, and in particular, money he can spend on her.  In addition, his role is of high status with regards to the definition of his occupational position.  Collectively, they have the money to buy property of a higher class than her friends (and their respective partners or husbands), and they will possess the spare cash to portray their future children in clothing to look better than the other kids.  This raises the woman’s status, even if it is predominantly through his remuneration package. 

However, he doesn’t just pass over his credit card to her.  She will be treated by him in the form of occasional gifts and surprises, but at no stage can she take him or their relationship for granted.  He is spontaneous whilst being responsible, and she has visions of him being a suitable future husband and provider.  She has been in past relationships with men who have given her feelings of intimate chemistry, but simultaneously living in the knowledge they offer her no long term financial or emotional security - hence bad boys.  On the other extreme, she has also been involved with men who could offer her the safety in monetary and trust terms, but not the sexual impulses she knows a woman needs and deserves - hence nice guys.  The perfect man she has found can strike this middle ground.

Demeanour, attitude & external attractiveness projection

He has a presence and confidence about him, but it is effortless and in moderation.  He isn’t arrogant, but he knows not to be too nice and a walk-over.   Due to him being decent looking, but not as physically attractive as her in relative terms, she feels higher value than him in this sense and she will always feel good in herself because of this.  She realizes some other women will find him attractive and that he would have some options - as this increases his appeal to her - but she lives in the knowledge he would not magnetize attention from an abundance of women.  This would be too draining on her behalf.  Simply put, she believes, even without substantiation, that she is as attractive a woman as he can feasibly attain.  She will always believe, until proven otherwise, that she is the most visually beautiful female he has been in a relationship with. 

She holds the conception that when out together, she will receive more glances from men than he would from women.  It’s a fine balance in her mind between some of the female society taking a fancy to him, but at the same time, not too many.  All the same, on the occasions she feels a need to demonstrate a higher level of attraction than him when out together by flirting with the opposite sex or striking up conversation with past boyfriends, he acts correspondingly. 

He doesn’t pass off the typical beta male deliverables of jealousy, supplication and standing around like a lost sheep.  No, he simply continues with his night by striking up talking points with other women stood around him.  Time is too valuable to waste on watching her attempt to elevate her self-value, therefore he will happily use this time to gain opinions from other entertaining and fascinating people out there.  He has learnt over time that the more women a man engages with, the more information he can manifest to find trends, consistencies and knowledge of the emotional contradictions they are inclined to make when stating words that are opposite to the decisions they make.  Maybe he could be accused of dragging himself down to her level, but his motive is different to hers.  She needs to talk to men to acquire some level of power, whilst he simply carries this out to learn more about life.  When all is said and done here, he strikes the equilibrium between a level of trust without her bordering onto complacency, and he remains a challenge in her mind.

Sexual Market Value

This guy has overall high sexual market value, and his only average (or slightly above average) metric is his physical appearance.  This eases her self-comfort and insecurity.  It is a vital lesson to learn that the vast majority of women, despite rarely confessing to this, seek men who are superior to them in all suitability criteria - personality, charisma, resources, status, intelligence, talent and power - apart from physical attractiveness. 

He possesses the beta traits of occasionally letting her believe she is the most important factor in his world, but not too often.  He is a good provider, he is reliable, and he offers financial and emotional security.  She forms the fiction that he can be a little jealous of thoughts of her interaction with other men, but he doesn’t make this obvious to her, even if he is.  In other words, she has subconsciously convinced herself that she is looked upon as attractive by the opposite sex, she would like him to know this, but she doesn’t so much want him to blatantly show it in typical beta fashion.  He sometimes lets her have her own way, but certainly not always, and when she does she has to fight for it.

Self-respect

The perfect man gives off many alpha traits without being a total jerk.  He has a confident aura about himself, he knows what he deserves in life, he is independent, he has his own life outside of her, and whilst she is aware of being an important part of his every day existence, she is seldom his priority.  If he wants something, nothing will stop him in his tracks to reach it.  He knows the importance to stay in touch with his friends and have a life outside of the two of them. 

This is something so few men realize, and instead they meet a woman, fall amusingly in love, and stop doing all the independent things in their lives that attracted her to him in the first place.  This is fine in the early stages, but before they know it she has become irritated in his lack of expeditions and activities in life, she loses respect towards him, and she feels a power imbalance too much in her favour.  As people are receptive to his charms, and they feel comfortable in his vicinity, he appears to have the knack of gaining a lot in return to little of his own expenditure and efforts.  Nobody ever views this as a selfish act as they are just happy and privileged to be around him.