“Ride the tiger. Don’t let the tiger ride you.”
British born Elliott Rodger’s despicable act of massacre, within a southern California college town, is the most evidential and recent message to date that misogyny does literally kill. His decision of retribution on Friday 23rd May 2014 should only be noted with disgrace, shame and cowardice, and no remorse to his actions can be given. Some people may claim this blog is directed towards misogynists, and whilst I whole-heartedly disagree, I wouldn’t waste time and energy trying to convince them otherwise. By the end of reading this post, a few of these cynics may just acknowledge that blogs of this nature actually reduce misogyny, rather than promote it. Let it be said, there is certainly no contrition on my part.
Rodger was a 22 year old man from a wealthy background. Prior to the murders of six young lives, and his own, he recorded a brief message in explanation to his resentment of the world. These were his snapshot “reasons”.
- He claimed to suffer loneliness and rejection from women during “14 years of isolation”.
- At the age of 22, he was still a virgin. He subscribed to never even kissing a girl.
- After 4 years of college, he still had not experienced sexual intercourse.
- He stated girls were never attracted to him, and that he would “punish you all for it.”
Some of the stand out comments he made were as follows:
- “What don’t you see in me?” (directed at the female gender).
- “You (women) throw yourself in front of obnoxious men, not me, a gentleman.”
- “They (women) look down on me as an inferior man, whilst they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes.”
- “Girls, all I ever wanted was to love you, and to be loved by you.”
- “If I can’t have you, girls, I will destroy you.”
- “You (women) denied me a happy life.”
He also alluded to the fact that he would have the last laugh, and he was “the true alpha male”. Doesn’t it cry out pity when a young man, with his whole life in front of him, becomes so frustrated with the opposite sex and men who seemingly benefit from his perception of their choices.
It is worth spending a few minutes watching the full video post. He appears calm, perhaps somewhat intoxicated, but with obvious and transparent signs of frustration to unfeasible directives in life. The common denominator in all his phrases are born out of hostility towards women who have rejected his advances, and he appears, despite being an intelligent person, to have little idea why this is the circumstance.
For a moment, I think it is worth taking a step back and to look at his offerings in terms of attractiveness criteria. Facially he was good looking, even if perhaps in a more “pretty boy” illustration. With my knowledge and study of men’s good looks, I’d confidently say he would have been in the top 3% facially best looking men in his college. At 5ft 9 inches tall, he is an inch or so below average, and this factor, along with a slight build, would have held him back to a point in overall physical attractiveness scale. With more aesthetically built male rivals, who would have attained sporting role status to hand, I can imagine how many of the cute and hot girls he hit on would take oversight to his good looks in preference to less facially gifted, but more physically profiled, men. A young man in this predicament can become a little lost in this bizarre world. Even at a young age, where physical attractiveness rules over most other male sexual market metrics in the eyes of the female population, women will still take predilections towards men who are maybe less facially eye catching than them, but more importantly, those who hold down popular profiles. So a basketball point guard or football quarterback will by far trump a good looking man in a higher education environment.
Rodger was an intelligent kid, and this was clear by the simple listening to his 6 minute upload. However, intelligence and smartness is not necessarily an attractive trait to have as a man, and I think most men fail to take this in. Even most University female students, let alone the female population as a whole, have a limited level of natural intellect and knowledge. When a man shows off his wise wisdom (and I expect Rodger fell into this trap once too often), women can easily be put off by either feeling inferior or presumption of him being a geek. This is all the more relevant with younger women who have no real interest in how intelligence can have positive knock-on effects. So in reality, most women are repelled, rather than attracted, to extreme male intelligence. They are only interested in it when it benefits them in direct or indirect fashion. If his expertise is seen as a route to a big salary – hence provision for her when she is older – or an ability to fix a software problem on her laptop during college days, she will find this more attractive. Other than that, male intelligence is not a great benefit to exploit. I think Rodger would have scratched his head a few times in wondering why these girls weren’t willing to listen to his bedtime stories.
As the son of a film director, Rodger belonged to an affluent family. From my experience during higher education days, high scale wealth, or a monetary link via parentage, holds little benefit in attracting women at a younger age. Don’t get me wrong, it is better to have money than to not have it, but when everyone is congregated on campus with no vision of a big mansion or friends with flash cars, young women are not mentally tuned into what economic privileges produce. Once more, if there is nothing in it for her then it becomes a non-entity. Rich kids can form an arrogant mindset that they are a cut above human kind, and Rodger would have been no different. As he documented in a comment he made on a forum, he couldn’t understand what a pretty girl was doing with a guy driving a Honda Civic – as opposed to his own BMW and Mercedes. This all adds fuel to the fire on his frustrations.
He made reference to women not being engaged to his “gentleman” demeanour, and instead they seemed magnetized to “obnoxious men”. This is where comprehension of the red pill would have been imperative to him. At a young age, and especially in college surroundings, the sad reality is that the cutest and hottest girls he was tracking down simply follow their innate mentality that is to seek what is forbidden. Simply put: women with options – who are the most physically attractive women – go for what is hardest to find. What is hardest to locate are men with options who treat them like crap or who have little interest in their existences. In the meantime, nice guys like Rodger, who show their cards too soon and too blatantly, are left behind for another night.
Nevertheless, I believe his biggest failure, which ultimately resulted in him reaching breaking point, fell at the feet of not placing women in their true place in the world. Putting his disgraceful act to one side for a moment, a 22 year old man can be forgiven in being this way. In essence, his lack of knowledge of female psychology and physical evolution didn't allow him to take the necessary steps in viewing one woman as one simple commodity in a market of millions. He placed too much emphasis on each rejection, and instead he needed to lead with a more relaxed mindset that women are moveable and interchangeable. If one woman doesn’t want you, there is another one around the corner. If you see a girl with a low-life jerk, pity her rather than resent her. If a woman finds you too handsome, too ugly, too smart, too dark, too fat or too skinny; it will be her loss. Never waste time on lost causes. Never stand on ceremony for a woman who gives less in return. Never waste time and money on someone who wouldn’t spend it on you. Don’t cry over those who wouldn’t cry over you. And most importantly, remember that the world is full of options and alternatives.
All in all, Rodger could have done with a crystal ball showing him how these women looked a few years after declining his advances. I’ve sustained innumerable rejections from women, and the vast majority had given me prior indicators of interest, but one thing I can honestly and genuinely say is that having seen them sometimes as little as 2 years down the line, I now wouldn’t touch them if they offered it on a plate. He placed too much emphasis on the cold feeling of rejection, and instead he should have considered each and every occasion as a learning curve, a blessing, and most of all, a lucky escape.
So if only one thing can come out of this tragic event, I hope men of all ages, but in particular young men going through similar question marks as Rodger was putting to himself, can realize that it is actually a much easier life being a man than a woman. Men don’t have period pains, ovulation cycles, nine month carriage of new productions, magnified insecurities, low confidence, fears of what the world thinks of them, or earlier and quicker sexual attractiveness decline. As time moves on, up to a point, men have far more to offer the world, and to the opposite sex. The cruel truth is that women have no such luxury.
I believe Elliott Rodger had a bright future ahead of him if he understood how the sexual market works and evolves. I further believe that, had he come across a blog of this kind not too long ago, it would have brought him perspective and comprehension in the realization of women in their true entirety within a man’s world. Had he chose to analyze, rather than take the road of misogyny, we would likely not be once more talking about another American rampage. It may just have saved the lives of six young innocent people. Those nurturing injuries will live with the painful memories until their final day. It may have saved his life too.
A final thought
A final thought
Elliott Rodger indirectly boasted before his onslaught that he would be the winner against the opposite sex who didn't value his contribution to the world. This is what Rodger didn't get into his skull at all. By seeking revenge of any kind, a man who goes out of his way to distress women or seek attention with women shows the face of a male who is trying too hard to get noticed. Great guys move onto someone or something else when rejection or adversity hits them head on, and they don't lose an ounce of sleep on the person who will one day wish they had been more forthcoming. Rodger was no winner in any way, shape or form. He lost the battle, and he most certainly lost the war.
Acknowledgements and further reading