Friday 17 September 2021

Meeting women at the gym


“You can’t shoot a canon out of a canoe.”


As the dwindling numbers of people going out to bars and nightclubs shows no sign of slowing down (and nearly always consist of a high male to female ratio representation), not that either venue was ever regarded as a great place for most men to meet decent women, the gym isn’t a half bad place to meet attainable women (or non-single women who are happy to adulterate) you would like to take things further with.  Granted, it’s not the best or ideal place either, but then again, the world wasn’t designed to be ideal or simple.

As I have gone on record in the past, any statistics based on honest answers will derive in the majority of couples meeting via friendship/acquaintance/family networks.  Not far off this cohabitation compartment will be those who met at a working environment.  This results in less than a fifty percent chance to meet a woman through another passage, and the gym will be one of those.

I came across this link on a recent day when my mind was running curious with me.  It’s not clear if the author is a woman, but even if it is there is enough logic consisting within the article that tells me it isn’t a usual woman with her head in the clouds.  Most women writing about how men should proact with them will lead with their egos (hence what makes women feel best about themselves), and not necessarily what is beneficial for said man in order for the target woman to be attracted to him.

Nevertheless, there are parts I agree with and elements I contest.  I document each one (for the purpose of abbreviation, some of the text is not copied in) and then give my verdict in comparison:

8 Etiquette Tips for Impressing a Girl at the Gym

1.     Aim to impress her with your personality, not your muscles.

Many guys make the mistake of trying to impress girls with their bulging biceps rather than their charming personalities. Always remind yourself that it's your personality and charisma that will help you to impress a girl at the gym.

Vi Nay verdict: Agree

As stated many times on this blog, the vast majority of women are more interested in non-visual aspects to a man’s desirables than his physical allure - when it comes to boyfriend selection.  Most women are put off by male posers who try too hard (yet these are men who often come across as insecure).

2.     Don't try to impress her with how much weight you can lift.

Many guys also make the mistake of believing that the amount of weight they lift is directly proportional to how impressive they look at the gym. This is totally untrue, especially from a girl's perspective.

Vi Nay verdict: Agree

Nothing more needs to be said!

3.     Use relaxed body language; don't act stiff and puffed up.

Puffing up and keeping your body stiff in an attempt to impress girls is a common sign of attraction in men. But this can also make you look like a weird muscle freak at the gym.

Vi Nay verdict: Agree

In essence, any body language that looks stressed, unnatural and try-hard is a turn off to any woman worth having.  Women sense this as a sign of weakness in a man, and in contrast interpret relaxed and genuine male body language as a signal of strength and protection.

4.     Don't stare at a girl while she is working out.

Staring at a girl continuously while she is working out will make her think that you're some kind of weirdo. You can look at a girl by stealing a few flirty glances, but don't keep staring at her like a pervert.

Vi Nay verdict: Agree

Much depends on how much hotter the girl is than you, but generally speaking this advice is sound.  A firm balance of a smirky look at her (so she knows you find her attractive) is not a bad thing, but anything beyond this and her mind will be automated to think you are too interested.

5.     Don't act obsessed with your workout.

You will look like a gym freak if you seem obsessed and meticulous about your workouts all the time. It is good to be dedicated to your training routine, but you will turn a woman off if you seem too aggressive.

Vi Nay verdict: Agree

Grunting, dropping weights, and looking at yourself in the mirror not during a set once more smacks out desperation, insecurity, attention-seeking and try hard mentality in a man.  No woman worth having desires to see this, and more importantly, no woman worth having is attracted to it.

6.     Smell nice; wear a nice men's cologne

Smelling nice should be a number one priority if you want to impress a girl at the gym. Apply a pleasant-smelling deodorant or cologne before you reach the gym.

Vi Nay verdict: Totally agree

Three to four sprays of a nice eau de toilette accompanied by a generous spray of nice deodorant (after washing your armpits of course) will allow a man to stand out from the crowds of either neutral scent or poor odour men.  I disperse this without fail, and I can sense how much women like it.  Some women transparently linger over longer than required just to sample a sniff.  Even an average looking man can significantly increase his overall appeal to women when smelling good.

7.     Wipe off that sweat—carry a personal gym towel with you at all times.

Most girls will agree that the sight of a guy dripping in sweat is generally a turn-off. Everyone expects you to be a little sweaty at the gym, but that doesn't mean you should leave puddles of sweat all over the workout floor.

Vi Nay verdict: Partly disagree

Not sure on this one.  At the moment my gym still has a rule to use the gym paper and sanitizers to wipe down after use.  Towels are forbidden.  Personally, I prefer this.  I don’t think walking around with a sweaty towel is a benefit (unless you are an uncontrollably sweaty man), and from my recent experience, women are attracted to the minority of men who take the time to wipe down the benches and equipment via gym hygiene supplies.

8.     Build a rapport with everyone at the gym.

A girl will instantly notice you in the gym if you're the guy who knows just about everyone on the gym floor. Build a rapport with the trainers, gym staff, and others who generally come to the gym around the same time of day as you.

Vi Nay verdict: Partly agree

On the one hand, women are obsessed by male social proof and popularity, therefore it backs up the argument that men should interact with as many people as possible.  On the other hand, if a woman sees a man who is constantly talking and rarely training, she will look upon this in a negative form.  A balance should be struck.  With all that said, if a cute or hot woman sees you talking to a woman of similar physical attractiveness level to her, this will be worth the same as fifty men talking to you. 

The list goes on…

There are more tips on meeting /conversing and fashion within the article.  Most are self-explanatory, so unless any of you would like elaboration on any of the points, I’ll leave it at that.

The one point however that I must pull the author up on is the ridiculous suggestion to add her on Facebook once you have broken the ice with her.  Where to start on how this is an awful idea, but as a few bullet points:

·       There is no need to know anything more personal about a woman during the first conversation than her first name.  Likewise, with her not knowing any more about you.  If a man asks to connect with a woman on social media after five or ten minutes of conversation, the likelihood is she thinks you are about to digitally stalk her in the next hour.  When a woman thinks you are too interested too soon, her interest in you will move in the opposite direction.

·       The author states that it will give the two of you more to talk about when next speaking at the gym.  This should be almost irrelevant, as if you have talked for a few minutes then the next meet up should be on a date, so to speak.  Simply put, you should have asked her out and not felt the need to find out more about her via Facebook. 

·       The author states a Facebook connection will allow you to ask her about her life.  Bad idea in this respect.  First, once more it shows you are stalking her too soon in the “get to know her” phase.  Second, it can construe as a man being too interested in her.  Third, it can allow a woman to think the man sees her life as so much more dramatic, busier and popular than his own.  Women are turned on by a busy man getting on with his own life, not men who obsess over a woman’s goings on.

·       Social media – whether through pictures, videos, messages received/sent etc – can allow the mind to paint a negative picture of another person.  In the early stages, a man should give a woman a clean piece of paper and let her prove she is good girlfriend material.  If you produce a perception of a woman based over and above getting to know her on face value, you may as well be acting as a woman does so in the inverse scenario. 

All in all, I agree with most of what is documented.  Like anything though, base your thoughts on your honest and objective experiences gained from your own two eyes.



  1. In your opinion what percentage of 18-23 yr old girls would pre reject a very handsome guy

    1. On a wholesale basis, I'd say 50%. Bear in mind on a general female age basis this is (in my estimations) between 80% to 90%.

      The five main reasons 18-23 year olds are more likely to be open to the hottest men in comparison to their elder female counterparts (ironically, there is a greater percentage of >32 year old women who will be open to very handsome men than women 24-32) are:

      1) Male physical looks is seen as a greater social status desirable to women in their teens or early 20s than it is to women post 23. With this in mind, the man's handsome looks act as a social status attractor as much, if not more, than the physical/sexual urge to be with him.
      2) Most women between 18-23 are having very little thoughts to finding a man at that stage who will be viewed as a potential provider/reliable/husband or father material male figure. They are just more interested in the reasons as given in 1). Women post 23 are starting to look at settling down (and hence, "settling" per se).
      3) The younger the woman is, the less experience she has of being pumped and dumped by the most sought after men. With this in mind, there is less resistance and reluctance to be with a man aesthetically gifted or developed.
      4) The vast majority of women aged 18-23 will be in their beauty prime. Many of these women have not developed to a great degree an ego mentality in desiring to be with a man less physically attractive than her in gender relative terms. Younger women are more likely to act on their natural sexual inclinations.
      5) Women post 23 are more prominent to the work life where male dominated representation - most men who will be average looking but decent earners - are in their daily lives. This allows women to see an appeal to said man who otherwise would be effectively invisible to her in bars, gyms, or any other social venue. Women aged 18-23 will spend most of their time in environments where male physical attractiveness is the biggest appeal (college, uni, bars, nightclubs, gyms etc).