Sunday 24 May 2020

Men’s race impacting on women’s choices

“It’s difficult to map out your life when life maps it out for you.”

I think I’m reasonably placed to touch on this subject when it comes to analysing how women may, and do, carry out their decision making in respect to male relationship, fornication or potential marriage aspects with regards to his race, and to a lesser extent, his ethnicity.  As a mixed-race man who writes a blog predominantly on female emotional habits and trends, allow me to continue.

Although my late father was an immigrant to the United Kingdom from a little above third world African country, and my mother was raised from a relatively poor working class British background too, somehow they managed to raise my brother and I in a middle class (slightly below middle class) suburb in Derby.  Much to do with this was the financial support my grandparents (from my mother’s side) gave them to step onto the property ladder, and my Dad consequently worked all the hours available to put food on the table and shoes on our feet.  Both my mother and father, in different ways, were great examples of being good parents.  They were lousy examples of being a good wife and husband.  Maybe there hits a critical point - it is easier to be a natural parent in life than it is to be a competent spouse.  I digress...

The consequence of being brought up in a middle-class area was being an exceedingly rare non-white skinned kid that stood out like a sore thumb.  Or maybe this was just coincidental to the suburb (there are many deprived suburbs in Derby with high white populated contingents)?  As this mixed-race young boy trying to fit in as best possible, there were days when I felt it was a case of living in a world on my own.  From blurry recollections, I think a couple of years consisted of never going a day without thinking about the colour of my skin.  For the record, I’m a quarter African black descent, a quarter Indian origin, and half white.  With this in mind, the idiots back then never quite knew whether to ridicule me with racist names that began with “N” or “P”.

The irony is I spent nearly the first half of my life wanting nothing more than to be white skinned, yet more than the second half of my life treasuring not being white – and the stand-out, uniqueness and intrigue it produced in being of a mixed-race complexion.  I remember having a conversation with my mother when I was about fourteen (around the time when my self-consciousness of this matter had reached peak point), and she pointed out that one day I will realise how my colour is actually a blessing.  I didn’t believe her at the time.  How right she was though.

Do women choose men based on race preference?

The United Kingdom still has a race demographic where nearly nine out of ten people are white.  This naturally means that from a general perspective it is most relevant to judge how white women would choose men, if all else (wealth, social class, intelligence, personality etc) is equal.  This is my view:

·       60% of white women would prefer to be with and choose to be with a white man.  Although we live in a far more liberated and accepting world, the sheer familiarity and social network they have been brought up with brings about an innate mindset that is difficult to change.  Whether we like it or not, a lot of young women still have prejudiced parents who will influence this mentality.
·       30% of white women are indifferent either way.  Most will naturally end up with white men on the law of averages alone, but this isn’t to say they would only date, and settle down, with white men.
·       8% of white women prefer non-white men, but they would with content (or sometimes reluctance) be with a white man.
·       2% of white women firmly prefer non-white men.  With great reluctance, they may later down the line settle for a white man in place of loneliness.

If I’m not far off the mark with this view, a view which would be denied by women no doubt in order to hold down their integrity and morals, then as you can see a majority of white women will still only go for white men.  A decent sized minority are easy either way, whilst a small segment is aroused and attracted by the thing that’s a little bit different to the norm.

Does this align with observational evidence?

Absolutely it does.  Even today, I don’t see too many white women walking hand in hand with non-white men.  As mentioned earlier, a lot to do with this is the percentages alone.  If nine out of ten women are white and nine out of ten men are white, it doesn’t take a genius to work out that unless a huge number of white women abstain from being with white men because of their distastes towards their male race equivalents (which is certainly not the case), most white women will find their ways to white men. 

Going further afield in having visited many countries across the world, I see very little difference elsewhere.  I would go as far to say that based on my four visits to the United States over the last decade, the times my eyes saw mixed-raced couples on a percentage basis were less than the UK.  Europe comes out pretty much the same as my homeland.  Australia?  Maybe a touch more to be fair than the UK or America, but not in huge differential terms. 

What if all else wasn’t equal?

On the back of my mentioning of America consisting in less pronounced numbers of white women with non-white men, I remember mentioning this topic to my mother many years ago when I returned.  She agreed, and she added that the times you do see it they are isolated by and large to the land of famous.  I think what she was alluding to, or as good as saying without quite wanting to say it (as a white woman herself), is that a lot more white women would go for non-white men if fame and money (or at least more financial security) was on the table for them.

Then I bring it back to the UK in terms of the same high-profile spectrum.  This is completely the same.  As a ratio basis, I’d estimate that seeing white women in the celebrity pages with non-white men is at least five-fold greater than in the “real world”.  So ultimately, if non-white men could offer white women at least the same economical blessings, many more white women would go for black, mixed-race and/or (less so) Asian men.

Many women would like to date a white man and black/mixed race man concurrently.  This ideology would allow them to acquire the dependant, reliable, stable and provisioning attributes that are accustomed to white men, whilst they accomplish the better thrills, unpredictability and often physical attributes instrumental to men of black race or mixed-race.

Black, Indian and mixed-race women

It’s near on impossible for me to cover every single female race, therefore I’ll offer a few thoughts based on my experience of the above.

I must be honest and say I’ve never been in a relationship with a black woman.  People of black heritage only represent 3% of the United Kingdom, so this may have a large part to do with it.  However, I think this goes deeper than percentages alone.

I’ve spoken to a gym buddy and good friend I train with whose parents are from St. Kitts and Nevis – hence he is of Afro-Caribbean race – on this, and he agrees with my theory in conjunction with his first-hand greater experience.  I stated that there are far more black men who go for (and sometimes only go for) white women than there are black women who would go for white men.  This will go a long way to explain why there is a large pool of single black women out there.

Women of Indian heritage are quite close to my heart.  They only account for just over 2% of all women in the UK, although in Derby there are more than a few villages which appear highly dominated by people of Indian origin.

The reason I say they are close to my heart is that I receive more direct attention from Indian women than any other female race, even though there are nearly forty times more white women in my local fields.  I find that young Indian women fall into two contrasting categories.  They are either completely shy and timid – to the level of white women perhaps without the high ego and attitude – or they are very forthcoming and confident in approaching and complimenting me.  If you find the right one, they are exceptional loyal, faithful and girlfriend material women.

I believe I receive a lot of attention from Indian women because they are fine-tuned to think I have a stronger Indian heritage than in actuality.  This is all the more common when I have a tan.  Many come across quite disappointed when I tell them I’m half-white and a quarter black.  I believe their attraction onto me is because I offer them the balance between not desiring to date a white man (as many Indian women don’t) yet away from the mundane full Indian guys they are accustomed to day in and day out.  In a way, I’m their version of a bad boy without them straying too far away from their father’s disapproval. 

Finally, onto mixed-race women.  Again, they are so few and far between that it is hard to draw extensive and thorough trends.  As a synopsis, I have found mixed responses and consistencies in their habits in terms of both interaction with me and men in general.  It’s a 50/50 thing for me.  Some strive for a black or mixed-race man, whilst others prefer the white guys out there.

A final thought

As I've alluded to on this blog in the past, I'm pretty sure one reason I give women irritable feelings, combined with messing with their emotions, is because white women can justify going for white men - white men who they likely don't find as sexually arousing as many black or mixed-race men - on the basis that the average white man, despite his lesser physical attractiveness, offers them a far greater life in non-visual metrics.  So when a woman then sees a black or mixed-race man she is sexually aroused by, yet his occupation, assets and charisma are over and above the white man she is with, her rationalisations, in that moment at least, have been eradicated and washed down the drain.  I'd expect, if she is with her white boyfriend or husband in that particular moment, he spends the next few minutes wondering why she has (in a heartbeat) flipped to a bitchy mood.



  1. "Many women would like to date a white man and black/mixed race man concurrently. This ideology would allow them to acquire the dependant, reliable, stable and provisioning attributes that are accustomed to white men, whilst they accomplish the better thrills, unpredictability and often physical attributes instrumental to men of black race or mixed-race."

    How extremely true! I constantly read about how women exploit white men for their resources, all-the-while simultaneously exploit black men for their physical prowess and aggressive demeanours(a generalization of course). Growing up it was very common for girls to hit on me in private(online, through their friends, at the clubs, etc), but it would almost NEVER happen in respectable public places(school, coffee shops, etc). It wasn't until I started dressing more professional that I started to get proper attention from all races of women(even more than I had expected....O_o???). It went from black women approaching me, to both white and asian women hovering around me... I had to stop dressing that way because it was getting me more attention than I wanted- I'm extremely introverted and nerdy, so it was a bit much!

    Have you noticed something similar based upon the fashion that you appropriate for the environment that you're in?

  2. First and foremost, I'll be the first to admit I've made some fashion mistakes in my younger days. Nothing outlandish, just a few wrong choices.

    I think fashion goes in line with your physical looks grade. The better looking you are and the more stylish you dress, the more eye/flirty contact you will receive but less actual women who will walk the walk, so to speak.
    So in my view I'd say that the better looking you are as a man, the less productive it is to dress stylish - because women (outside of 9's or greater, and let's be fair we don't see many of those in the real world) will find you even more unattainable. Average/Above average looking men will receive the best bang for buck from dressing stylish, because they elevate their status and looks without bordering into being too precious per se.
    Below average looking/ugly men will fall somewhere in the middle by dressing stylish - they will increase their chances of securing hotter women than they would by dressing moderately, however the good style can only compensate for their lesser looks to a point.

    As if it needs saying again, average to above average looking men have the widest options with the largest pool of women. People think it is the best looking guys, but post female 23 (and to a lesser extent pre 23 too) and this isn't the case.