Tuesday 27 October 2020

COVID-19 winners and losers in relationships


“It’s only when the tide goes out that you learn who has been swimming naked.”

(Warren Buffett)


I doubt many of us would have expected to still be in the same, if not worse, predicament now as in comparison to the early part of this year.  Whether it be on health, psychological or economic spectrums, there aren’t any current signs of a brighter day post COVID-19 implications.

I certainly have not been immune to all this.  Whilst I still have scepticism on the whole statistics side, I guess when hospitals are crowded and coronavirus case numbers are increasing, the whole pandemic cannot be disregarded no matter how cynical a person one may be.  I still find it strange that, in spite of attaining a fairly large network of people within my working and personal groups, I don’t know of one person who has been inflicted by the virus.  I barely know of any on a second hand basis too.

Psychologically, I have sailed through all this, although I know many who have struggled.  When the sun is shining and you aren’t suffocated in seeing your wife and kids too much (as I’m not, due to owning neither), it’s easier for the long days to pass.  The winter will be more testing to many though, including myself.

Economically, it has been a mixed bag.  My financial portfolio is bizarrely at an all time high (mainly due to financial stimulus being pumped into corporate greed once more), yet this positive strike is somewhat negated by now effectively being unemployed due to the business I worked for going insolvent.  I’m in the company of tens of millions more around the world in losing their jobs.

The winners and losers in relationships

When I published this post back in March, my prediction was this would lead to a favourable consequence for beta males who are willing in commitment and provision.  Look forward six months or so, I think this was now a conservative view.  It is an incredible time for these men if they make the right steps.

As always, any circumstance brings about winners and losers.  I’ll cover the main two from each side:

Winner 1 - Beta Male / Nice Guys

Basically, these men have had a spring and summer like no other.  As I documented in this post amongst other snippets, in normal times a lot of these men will be dumped by women shortly after Valentines Day in order for them (women) to pursue edgier men and fun times with the girls on nights out and holidays.  But this has been no ordinary year.

What COVID-19 has produced - with its associated lockdown measures, social venue restrictions, and limited travel – is a greater necessity for women to stay with men they perhaps are indifferent with and men they would have ordinarily moved on from.  A greater need for boyfriend companionship and validation has arisen from this mess we are found in, and this will be all the more applicable the smaller the city/town population.  When not as many female friends are venturing out, more women will choose for boyfriend time.

Winner 2 – Homely Girls

Homely girls – often cute girls ranging from 6.5/10 to 7.5/10 in physical attractiveness – are by no mean coincidence usually found with your typical average looking beta male.  The two kind of go hand in hand.  Homely girls aren’t too fond on socializing with female friends and they have a stronger need for boyfriend validation than their hotter female counterparts, whilst nice guys gain through securing these women who are better looking then them in gender relative terms (“he’s boxing above his weight”).

Nevertheless, although homely girls are accustomed with greater loyalty, trust and faithfulness, they are not any less inclined in thinking of a passionate night with an edgier man.  Some eventually act out their fantasy in practice too. 

However, with fewer good time girls and drama queens telling them stories of nights out, holidays, festivals and flirting with hotter men, a homely girl will feel better about her lifestyle choice in being with a safe, even if mundane, man.

 Loser 1 – Hot Men / Bad Boys / Cads

It would take a while to differentiate the fortunes between all three, but parallels will exist.  In all cases, this compartment of men is by and large most prominent in low commitment levels and high short term relationships with women.

Of course, these men rely on vibrant social dynamics where single women (or attached women going out with their female friends) are plentiful in being seen and having drunk, good times.  When bars are shutting at 10pm latest and an open nightclub is like seeing a pig flying in the sky, women willing to partake in these short term flings and good times are far lower in number.  It’s no coincidence that you are seeing a lot more aesthetic men in gyms at early doors.

 Loser 2 – Female Social Media Whores / Attention Seekers / Girl’s Girls

Again, at the risk of being ignorant in not separating each group, each one will entwine with the other on many occasions.  Similar to the men as explained directly above, these women are reliant on a high intensity social scene in order to exploit their all so fabulous life, existence and importance.  With all this being taken away, there are only so many photos a woman can take and post on Instagram from the corners of her lounge (which, as a by-product of the modern day female character we have to live with, has happened a lot over the last six months).

Unlike a man who requires a hectic nightlife environment in order to increase his chances of sex, women are far more concerned (and many women are only concerned) with showing the world how great she is.  The attention from men she receives is just an add on feel good factor and ego boost to assist the social media exploitation.  A large proportion of this exposure facility has been taken away from her.

 A final thought

So in essence, the biggest winners are men and women who like to spend a lot of time with their partner, and the biggest losers are men and women who hold strong predilections for low commitment and self-projected attention respectively.  For the foreseeable future, those who like steady relationships, even if passion is not of high optimums, are the ones with smiles on their faces.

Nothing lasts for ever though.  Life is cyclical, and things will eventually change.  Maybe this time though, those women who have lived a year of this life will change their ways indefinitely.  Or will human nature dictate, and normal service will be resumed this time next year?  Or, more likely, in eighteen months time.  For once, I cannot say with total conviction which side of the coin I believe it will fall on. 

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