Monday 10 June 2019

Accepting she doesn’t like you

“Getting up earlier won’t make the sun rise any sooner.”

I recall a time in my early twenties when speaking to a woman who was nearly thirty years my senior, and she confided in me regarding her impending decision to leave her husband.  Her husband was ten years older (than her), and although they had been “together” for a decade, they had only lived under the roof and been married for less than a couple of years within this timeframe.   Knowing the woman, the man I reference was nothing more than a validation tool, a source of internal attention on her part, and a release from an existing unhappy first marriage she lived in prior and during the decade or so I document.  She never really loved him, and in truth he was simply a stopgap and stepping stone to something better.

There were a few reasons the woman verbalized to me in terms of her jettison reasoning, some true and some not so true I would expect, but there was one explanation that stood out which was quite direct at her husband’s shortcomings.  I cannot quite remember the exact words or justification. 

When I spoke to the husband shortly after her departure, he was very much heartbroken and searching for rationale.  He asked me to tell him anything she had said that might give him closure, therefore I reluctantly declared the direct words she had informed.  Before I could even catch breath, he totally dismissed this could at all be the reason.  In essence, he didn’t want to accept any deficiency on his part.

There are four main ways a man fails in being any good with women:

·       He often refuses to accept the misdemeanours, lies and manipulations accustomed to the lives of a high percentage of modern-day women, and in particular a woman he is involved with.
·       He disregards any possibility that her lack of interest, or dwindling interest, is a consequence of failures belonging to him that severs his inner pride

·       He holds a mindset she is too good for him.
·       He refuses to believe she simply isn’t interested in him.

Only last week I sat in the gym coffee area to do some work prior to a meeting.  Having performed this same routine for a while now, the young woman who works on front desk (an 8/10 in looks) always made it her business to bring me a coffee and stand to talk for at least twenty minutes.  Over the last few weeks, she had given me embarrassed looks on many occasions.  On at least two instances she went out of her way to inform me she was single.  When I casually asked her last week if she wanted to take some lunch together, there appeared no hesitation whatsoever as she passed over her number.

Hopefully as an advanced writer in the field of female emotional psychology, my text interactions were in accordance with the intuition gained from her personality and general experience acquired from many other women.  As it turns out, her responses over the last seven days have been brief, intermittent and lacking any in true enthusiasm.  Apathetic at best.

I could list a near dozen possible reasons to explain her sudden change from excitement to apathy, but it’s simply not worth dwelling on.  If I had the inclination to ask her, she would just give me a bullshit story.  The facts of the matter are I must accept that she simply isn’t interested in taking things further, pending a huge change of emotion or motivation on her part.  Move onto the next.

And once you rebel against the golden four rules as documented above, over time your mind manifests to bring about lower expectations in women.  Call it water off a duck’s back, if you will.  I’m not going to lie and say I’m not slightly disappointed, because I am.  I’m no stranger to women rejecting me through their perception of my character (hence them not knowing me on a personal level), but this woman had the opportunity to analyse my personality and see there is some brain to go with the brawn.  So, disappointment - yes.  Frustration, surprised and bitterness – no.

Q-tip 1:
If you expect little from women, and in turn start to second guess and predict their likely moves, you will accustom yourself to view them more easily as interchangeable and moveable commodities.  You start to use them in a very much similar way to how they use you.

Q-tip 2:
There is a nuance between a woman not being interested in a man, against a woman not being interested in taking things further with a man.  In the case of the former, a woman is simply not attracted to the man or/and she finds him unappealing.  In the case of the latter, this in fact can often be a scenario where she is very attracted to him and finds him more than appealing, but her lack of confidence, high insecurity, low trust thresholds and big ego forces her mind to forbid in venturing on.


  1. Hi Vinay,

    Usually i like your posts but I think you’re wrong with this one.

    Q-tip 1:
    If you expect little from women,..........

    If you are a man and "you expect little from woman or women" in general, it shows that you are a man without self- respect. Only beta males "expect litre from women" and that’s why women disrespect them. From my point of view, a real man with a minimun self- esteem and self-respect always "expect a lot/the best from wowen", I mean "a lot/the best = high interest level".

    Why would a man try harder with a woman who doesn‘t care about him ? If a man expect little from women he will spend his time moving from a mediocre woman to another mediocre woman eternally. If a man expect little from women it shows that he has zero standars and that he is willing to tolerate bad behavior from women, if a woman shows no interset what a man can do is just to move on as one once said « rejection is redirection ». A real man should only spend his time with a woman who shows interest or high interest level from day one.

    1. I respect your view, but I completely disagree. Or maybe you have somewhat misconstrued... Remember that this post was written with particular reference to early stage interaction.

      I reverse what you say and believe beta males actually expect a lot from women such is their (beta males) lack of experience with women, naivity and unwillingness to accept what the female emotional mind produces with actions.

      I never said a man should try harder with a woman who doesn't care about him. Quite the contrary in fact. Expectation has nothing to do with standards, in relevance to this post, and it has every bit to do with accepting how women act. Yes, every now and again you will collide with a woman who is mature and doesn't play games, but with sought after women (hence 7/10 and above in looks) the vast majority will play games and be immature. They haven't grown up, and they don't want to.

      This has nothing to do with accepting bad behaviour from women, and to a point you are right that you should put them in their place (although this can come across as trying too hard and caring too much which will also be unproductive - hence why I allude to moving onto another hot women).

      Maybe you live in a better world than me where you collide with inundated cute and hot women who show interest and high interest from day one? In my world, and I once more reiterate this is with reference to the most physically attractive women, these women who lay all their genuine cards on the table from day one are in a tiny minority. They do exist, but they are very rare (a bit like crawling through a huge pile of dog shit to find a millimetre sized diamond).

  2. Q-tip 2:
    ............. she is very attracted to him, but her big EGO ......

    Since when a woman's EGO or (I do not know what excuse) prevented her from seeking a relation with a man she perceives as Alpha ?

    I can guarantee you that she will do anything as Rollo once said “ she will always find a way to be with alpha no matter what”.

    From my point of view the Q-tip2 : she is very attracted to him but because perceives him as a “fake alpha” or”beta” she prefers not taking things further with him.

    1. I would say a woman's ego often prevents her from seeking out an Alpha (especially a good looking Alpha who isn't cash loaded or famous). Add on her insecurity and you will find women opting for safer betas more often than not.

      Listen, Rollo writes some good posts and he is a clever guy, but the posts on his blog are predominantly generic from a hypergamous perspective. I've never read much where he's sub-divided how women may choose men from a male looks perspective. It appears simply just, from his point of view, that women will opt for higher status men with very little analysis of other factors. I haven't read nearly all of his posts, therefore I stand to be corrected if so.

      In view of your last point, I think what I have documented above more than covers my points. Again, I disagree with you.

  3. What the author is trying to say is women can not disappoint you if youre not seeking pleasure...rain cant soak you if youre already wet.

    1. Partly agree, and like I the metaphor. What I am essentially saying is women can't disappoint you if you have an array of historic experience to draw trends and generalizations from.