Someone who
anticipates unideal outcomes isn’t necessarily a pessimist.
He is often the
pre-conceiving realist.
I’d
seen this woman in the gym over the last couple weeks. In the context of all women who go in the
gym, I’d say a maximum of 5% strike my attention, whilst less than this
percentage, on face value alone, justify effort to get to know them for the
potential longer haul. This woman possessed
the attributes to back up the endeavours required.
For
reason that is relevant later in this post, she was a white girl. She sported a curvaceous body, straight long
dark brown hair, pretty (from the distance I tended to see her from) face, tidy
(although fake) nails, and tight fitting but not over-exposing gym kit. In relative physical attractiveness terms, we
were on each other’s level (or if the truth be told, her being marginally
below!). Of course this was always going
to be my first apprehension, simply because women prefer lesser looking men unless
there is something they can gain from the opposing, but rare, situation. For the record, she looked 26 to 27. I go with this age because once I got
alongside her, she looked like and reminded me of, almost frighteningly, my
ex-girlfriend of half a dozen years ago -
who just so happened to be that age back then.
The
ex-girlfriend I reference was a rare breed.
Whilst lower end hot (8/10), she was a bit immature for a woman her
age. A large part of this, in
retrospective opinion, was because she worried about getting older and seeing
younger female competition out. She also
knew I had dated women younger than her previously. So her counteractive strategy, as is the
habits of most women in the same position, was to act like a young kid in
convincing the mind she is still 21.
This isn’t an attractive trait at all, but women can get away with it
such is the lapdog male dominated land we live in who kiss their arses no
matter what.
Nevertheless,
her immaturity did benefit me at the time.
A mere hot woman of 8/10 at the age of 27 wouldn’t usually pick out a
hotter guy, no matter how marginally hotter, than her. I’d seen a couple of her exes, and their
mediocre looks would back up the normal resumed service. So I can only assume that her concern for
getting through her 20’s manifested in making it an irritable, but still
self-validating, decision to date a hot guy.
However, take it as read that most women past their mid-20’s will rarely
seek out a man better looking than them.
Back
to the hot gym girl. I’d seen her
checking me out a few days before, and if nothing else I knew she was sexually
attracted to me. I am also street-wise
enough to know that whilst it is always better to have a woman physically
attracted to you than otherwise, especially when very other little information
is available to her, it by no means translates to the deal being pre-signed. In the opposite dynamic – a man finding a
woman sexually arousing – the only thing that stands in his way are current
female attachments or commitments.
This
woman also seemed to be fairly tanned in comparison to the average white
girl. I tend to think sunbeds were her
thing, as a working white girl in conjunction with recent British weather
wouldn’t have plausibly given her a slightly darker shade. This was always going to be another sticky
situation for me – being a mixed-raced guy who tans easily, and as an
uncontrollable ramification, something that pisses most women off. From my past experiences, the women who have
been frequently receptive to my advances are very pale white, Asian, southern
European (hence olive shade), or black Afro-Caribbean girls. The least receptive tended to be the white
Caucasian ethnicity who tried to look darker – either by sunbeds, fake tan, or
over-consumed make-up. I have my own
conclusions to this theory, but for once I’ll leave it with you to reason.
On
the day when she was checking me out, and perhaps in a mood of greater
receptiveness, it would be no coincidence to seasoned campaigners of female
behaviour that a few other cute girls were knocking around the same workout
area as me.
Q-tip:
If a man had umpteen
opportunities per day to approach women worth having, his success rate, at
least in the immediate term, would be far more successful if other women are in
the vicinity of the target woman. This
is all the more applicable if the rival women are only slightly lesser looking,
as hot, or hotter, than her.
Nevertheless, bear in mind this friendlier and more forthcoming
interaction you will receive is the motivational implication of female
competition as opposed to her projected attraction onto you. If she was indifferent about you in the first
place, she will be indifferent once the exploitation of being the chosen one is
no longer there.
So
critically, but certainly not oblivious to this, on the day I approached her a
few things went against me:
- I was tanned from a recent
vacation.
- As it was mid-week, she was
perhaps a little lighter than her usual fake-tan glow – due to no weekend
sunbathing or early week tan beds.
- It was on a day when no other
cute women were around.
- She is 26 to 27 years of age -
not 23 or younger when a higher emphasis on male hotness is taken.
Now
PUA “experts” will be asking the question to how I opened up conversation. As I’m not a great advocator of witty negs
(although negs do have their place) or even spending too much time on what you
are going to say (as a man spending too much effort and time on his approach is
already psychologically placing his value below the woman), my question was
nothing more than “Do you play tennis?”
She said no, but I told her she possessed a tennis figure and I needed a
new mixed-doubles partner. Indirect
opener, neither compliment or insult (as some female tennis players are hot and
some are not so glamorous), and an unconfirmed pre-selection of probable past
girlfriend who was my doubles partner – which, it just so happens to be the
case!
I
got the feeling she was already looking to walk off even before I opened my
mouth. I can’t rule out that she didn’t
find me at all attractive. Maybe it was
because she was in a hurry. Or maybe she
had made up her mind about me irrespective.
In any case, since approaching her I’ve noticed she no longer goes to
the gym at the times she previously trained at.
Pure coincidence, or something more to it? Read into this what you will…
Q-tip:
Whilst it is far better
for a man to attain interaction strategy (aka game) than to have none, the
effectiveness in results is somewhat overrated.
Anyone can quite happily disagree with this, but it matters little to me
and it wouldn’t change my view. To
elaborate, a man’s game will not be as important to his pick-up success as social
status to women under 24, and occupational status and wealth to women above
this age. Furthermore, a woman ticking
the boxes of her comforting emotions – easing her insecurity, massaging her
ego, and mitigating her self-consciousness – by dating a less physically
attractive man than her will also be a far greater reason behind a woman’s
ultimate choice decision than the game this lesser looking man holds to
his armoury. This is why game, to good
looking men, borders over to being counter-productive.
For
any man who has dated more than just his wife and a couple of women beforehand,
he will draw up trends, consistencies, likelihoods and eventualities when he
recollects all his past approaches, interactions,
dates and relationships with an array of women.
Despite what the male pride is devilled to accept, concede or broadcast,
the failures are just as, if not more, important as the successes.
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