Someone who anticipates unideal outcomes isn’t necessarily a pessimist.
He is often the pre-conceiving realist.
I’d seen this woman in the gym over the last couple weeks. In the context of all women who go in the gym, I’d say a maximum of 5% strike my attention, whilst less than this percentage, on face value alone, justify effort to get to know them for the potential longer haul. This woman possessed the attributes to back up the endeavours required.
For reason that is relevant later in this post, she was a white girl. She sported a curvaceous body, straight long dark brown hair, pretty (from the distance I tended to see her from) face, tidy (although fake) nails, and tight fitting but not over-exposing gym kit. In relative physical attractiveness terms, we were on each other’s level (or if the truth be told, her being marginally below!). Of course this was always going to be my first apprehension, simply because women prefer lesser looking men unless there is something they can gain from the opposing, but rare, situation. For the record, she looked 26 to 27. I go with this age because once I got alongside her, she looked like and reminded me of, almost frighteningly, my ex-girlfriend of half a dozen years ago - who just so happened to be that age back then.
The ex-girlfriend I reference was a rare breed. Whilst lower end hot (8/10), she was a bit immature for a woman her age. A large part of this, in retrospective opinion, was because she worried about getting older and seeing younger female competition out. She also knew I had dated women younger than her previously. So her counteractive strategy, as is the habits of most women in the same position, was to act like a young kid in convincing the mind she is still 21. This isn’t an attractive trait at all, but women can get away with it such is the lapdog male dominated land we live in who kiss their arses no matter what.
Nevertheless, her immaturity did benefit me at the time. A mere hot woman of 8/10 at the age of 27 wouldn’t usually pick out a hotter guy, no matter how marginally hotter, than her. I’d seen a couple of her exes, and their mediocre looks would back up the normal resumed service. So I can only assume that her concern for getting through her 20’s manifested in making it an irritable, but still self-validating, decision to date a hot guy. However, take it as read that most women past their mid-20’s will rarely seek out a man better looking than them.
Back to the hot gym girl. I’d seen her checking me out a few days before, and if nothing else I knew she was sexually attracted to me. I am also street-wise enough to know that whilst it is always better to have a woman physically attracted to you than otherwise, especially when very other little information is available to her, it by no means translates to the deal being pre-signed. In the opposite dynamic – a man finding a woman sexually arousing – the only thing that stands in his way are current female attachments or commitments.
This woman also seemed to be fairly tanned in comparison to the average white girl. I tend to think sunbeds were her thing, as a working white girl in conjunction with recent British weather wouldn’t have plausibly given her a slightly darker shade. This was always going to be another sticky situation for me – being a mixed-raced guy who tans easily, and as an uncontrollable ramification, something that pisses most women off. From my past experiences, the women who have been frequently receptive to my advances are very pale white, Asian, southern European (hence olive shade), or black Afro-Caribbean girls. The least receptive tended to be the white Caucasian ethnicity who tried to look darker – either by sunbeds, fake tan, or over-consumed make-up. I have my own conclusions to this theory, but for once I’ll leave it with you to reason.
On the day when she was checking me out, and perhaps in a mood of greater receptiveness, it would be no coincidence to seasoned campaigners of female behaviour that a few other cute girls were knocking around the same workout area as me.
If a man had umpteen opportunities per day to approach women worth having, his success rate, at least in the immediate term, would be far more successful if other women are in the vicinity of the target woman. This is all the more applicable if the rival women are only slightly lesser looking, as hot, or hotter, than her. Nevertheless, bear in mind this friendlier and more forthcoming interaction you will receive is the motivational implication of female competition as opposed to her projected attraction onto you. If she was indifferent about you in the first place, she will be indifferent once the exploitation of being the chosen one is no longer there.
So critically, but certainly not oblivious to this, on the day I approached her a few things went against me:
- I was tanned from a recent vacation.
- As it was mid-week, she was perhaps a little lighter than her usual fake-tan glow – due to no weekend sunbathing or early week tan beds.
- It was on a day when no other cute women were around.
- She is 26 to 27 years of age - not 23 or younger when a higher emphasis on male hotness is taken.
Now PUA “experts” will be asking the question to how I opened up conversation. As I’m not a great advocator of witty negs (although negs do have their place) or even spending too much time on what you are going to say (as a man spending too much effort and time on his approach is already psychologically placing his value below the woman), my question was nothing more than “Do you play tennis?” She said no, but I told her she possessed a tennis figure and I needed a new mixed-doubles partner. Indirect opener, neither compliment or insult (as some female tennis players are hot and some are not so glamorous), and an unconfirmed pre-selection of probable past girlfriend who was my doubles partner – which, it just so happens to be the case!
I got the feeling she was already looking to walk off even before I opened my mouth. I can’t rule out that she didn’t find me at all attractive. Maybe it was because she was in a hurry. Or maybe she had made up her mind about me irrespective. In any case, since approaching her I’ve noticed she no longer goes to the gym at the times she previously trained at. Pure coincidence, or something more to it? Read into this what you will…
Whilst it is far better for a man to attain interaction strategy (aka game) than to have none, the effectiveness in results is somewhat overrated. Anyone can quite happily disagree with this, but it matters little to me and it wouldn’t change my view. To elaborate, a man’s game will not be as important to his pick-up success as social status to women under 24, and occupational status and wealth to women above this age. Furthermore, a woman ticking the boxes of her comforting emotions – easing her insecurity, massaging her ego, and mitigating her self-consciousness – by dating a less physically attractive man than her will also be a far greater reason behind a woman’s ultimate
choice decision than the game this lesser looking man holds to
his armoury. This is why game, to good
looking men, borders over to being counter-productive.
For any man who has dated more than just his wife and a couple of women beforehand, he will draw up trends, consistencies, likelihoods and eventualities when he recollects all his past approaches, interactions, dates and relationships with an array of women. Despite what the male pride is devilled to accept, concede or broadcast, the failures are just as, if not more, important as the successes.